Whatever Happened To His Precious Self Control (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

           One of the most damaging results of the ongoing pandemic has been the increase of has been the increase in substance abuse and addiction. Whether alcohol, opioids, or another substance; the increased tension, and anxiety have led to an increased demand for mental health services.  Dr. Carl Erik Fisher author of The Urge: Our History of Addiction wrote a recent Op-Ed piece in the Jan 15th New York Times entitled "It's Misleading to Call Addiction a Disease". He explains that as a recovering addict, who is also a medical doctor, he has always struggled with the idea that addiction is a disease. His point is that the “addiction as a disease” paradigm oversimplifies the role of medicine and science. This paradigm assumes that a pill or a procedure will eradicate the disease. Besides, oversimplification, the “addiction as a disease” paradigm also eliminates the importance of empowering the patient to recover. A disease, if genetic, creates a degree of fatalism, and a disease that is entirely environmental and socio-economic eliminates the importance of hope. Rather, Fisher explains that when he wakes up every morning, his addiction reminds him that he, like everyone else, has a human struggle. His addiction reminds him that he, like everyone, must struggle with self-control and his addiction is just another example of human suffering and struggling with self-control.  

        This week's Parsha is Yitro. Named after Moshe's father-in-law, who happens to be a Midianite priest, the Parsha begins with Moshe leading B'nai Yisroel toward the wilderness of Midyan where he meets up with his father-in-law, his wife, and his two sons. Yitro suggests that Moshe should create a bureaucracy whereby others administer the small everyday rulings required of a judge. Difficult legal issues would be administered by Moshe. Moshe is then commanded by God to bring B'nai Yisroel to Har Sinai. For three days they will purify themselves, clean their clothes, not have marital relations, and purify their souls for a revelation. With the mountain smoking and thunder billowing from the heavens, God begins to speak. B'nai Yisroel is absolutely petrified and fearing death, they beg Moshe to go up the mountain as their Shaliach (appointed messenger). Moshe ascends the mountain and receives the Aseret HaDibrot (the Ten Commandments), then descends. Upon his descent, he tells B'nai Yisroel the Aseret HaDibrot. The Parsha concludes with B'nai Yisroel readily accepting the Ten Commandments, Moshe re-assures the people not to fear the thunder and the flames, God attests to the fact that B'nai Yisroel has accepted these commandments and then commands Moshe to build an altar of earth.

        The Ten Commandments are bound by several themes. The first five commandments are God-oriented. The second five commandments are people-oriented. The Aseret HaDibrot is punishable by death. Through our modern perspective, we may not agree but we can understand the concept of capital punishment in terms of murder, testifying falsely, (in which false testimony leads to death), or even kidnapping. However, how do we explain capital punishment as a punishment for not honoring your parents, keeping the Shabbat, or committing Avodah Zarah (Idolatry)? Certainly violating Shabbat or violating the first five commandments that are all God-  does not necessarily hurt someone else. Even not honoring one's parents might not warrant capital punishment in today's day and age. So how do we understand that each commandment is punishable by death? We know that if we do not take care of our bodies, there is a chance our bodies will be hurt. If we don't eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise then our resistance is low and there is a chance we will get sick. If we don't fasten our seatbelts then there is a chance that we won't be able to walk away from an accident. If we drink too much and too often or if we smoke, we know that we are doing damage to our bodies. There are things that we do to help our spiritual existence as well. Failure to take care of our souls is also detrimental to our existence. Failure to take care of our soul leads to emptiness, purposelessness, and a misguided existence. The first five commandments are about the welfare of our souls.  The first five commandments give our existence a higher more spiritual purpose. The first five commandments fill our lives with meaning even when overwhelmed with the onslaught of the humdrum of everyday life. The first five commandments give us a sense of where we fit in the universe. The first five commandments are for each individual's soul and the soul's relationship to God.

        The Aseret HaDibrot is much more than the Ten Commandments. The Aseret HaDibrot provides a blueprint for a life that is part of a community  (the second five commandments) and accounts for our own sense of self-worth and purpose (the first five commandments). The Aseret HaDibrot teaches us and commands us to transcend time and space by adding meaning and holiness to our lives. The Aseret HaDibrot teaches us that our spiritual well-being is just as important as our physical well-being. When our soul is complete, filled with a sense of purpose, filled with love, and filled with the acknowledgment that there is God, we are able to transcend the physical. As Dr. Fisher explains, addiction is just another type of human struggle that occurs on a daily basis. That struggle is as much a struggle of the soul as it is a struggle of the body. The Aseret Dibrot, gives our soul a higher purpose, choosing to connect to the holy and the sacred rather than the mundane, the ordinary, or the destructive.

Peace,
Rav Yitz.

Still I Know I Lead The Way, They Tell Me Where I Go (John Barlow & Bob Weir - Estimated Prophet)

      

          Our son just returned from participating in a Model U.N. program sponsored by Yeshiva University involving approximately twenty Jewish Day schools from across North and South America. He and his team had spent the past two months preparing position papers on a variety of issues including the cannibalization of Africa’s natural resources, concerns over water shortages, drought and immigration. The two-day convention was an exercise in the hard work of becoming a community. The process of becoming a community occurs on the micro-level (each school/each country), and on a macro level (building consensus among the delegates for the numerous position papers that need to be voted upon and ratified. Whether in the micro or macro sense, individuals have to come together for a common cause and purpose-based upon their own volition and desire.

In this week’s Parsha, Yitro, we read two distinct narratives. In the first half of the Parsha, Moshe brings B’nai Yisroel to Midian. While there, Moshe spends a little time with his wife, his two sons and his father-in-law Yitro. Yitro acknowledges that G-d has been protective of B’nai Yisroel and that the Lord is greater than all other gods. The next day, Yitro sees Moshe sitting from morning to night mediating all problems that arise between individuals within the community. Yitro sees that his son-in-law is overextended and the current method of governing is neither good for him or Amchah. Being both a Priest of Midian as well as his father-in-law, Yitro offers advice as a father as well as a community leader. The second part of the Parshah, from chapters 19 through 20, tells of B’nai Yisroel’s revelation at Sinai.  The Parshah concludes with God’s declaration of the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments.

As Moshe’s father-in-law, as a leader of his community; Yitro makes an awe-inspiring suggestion. Because the revelation at Sinai occurs later, the suggestion often gets overlooked yet the message goes to the fabric of the type of community Moshe and God aspire to build.  Yitro suggests to Moshe “You be a representative of God, and you convey the matters to God…you shall make known to them the path in which they should go and deeds they should do. You shall discern from among the entire people, men of accomplishment, men of truth, men who despise money. You shall appoint them as leaders of thousands…they shall judge the people at all times, and they shall bring every major matter to you, and every minor matter they shall judge, and it will be eased for you, and they shall bear with you. If you do this thing and God shall command you, then you will be able to endure, and this entire people, as well, should arrive at its destination in peace.” (Ex. 18:19-23) Yitro explains to Moshe that a community must have a shared vision. To some degree, people need to know how to seek G-d on their own, and how to behave within a community. Others need to know G-d’s ways in order to inform those who need advice and adjudication. Everyone must have access to G-d and G-d’s teaching. Only then will Moshe’s load be lightened enough to bear. Only then will Amchah have a stake in the relationship with G-d and enter into a partnership with God. Only then, when confronted with the revelation at Sinai, amid the smoke and the fire and the thunder and lightning will the nation accept God’s covenant “the entire people responded together and said, ‘everything that God has spoken we will do!’”(Ex 19:8). Only then will Moshe and B’nai Yisroel arrive at its destination, in peace as a unified community. Only then can this community uphold their role as a “priest to the nations”.

Yitro understood and explained to his son in law, Moshe, that nature of true leadership. True leadership, based upon the sacred, the good, and for the public welfare is not the leadership of the despot and the dictator. True leadership, based upon the sacred, the good and the public welfare does not lead the people to the leader but rather towards something greater, more important and sacred. From Yitro’s perspective, Moshe's purpose, his mission,  was to create a legal system whereby he could lead his people towards adherence to God, God’s laws, and covenant.  That system was based upon transmitting and teaching the law, choosing judges with integrity and could not be corrupted, and creating an environment where the law, God’s covenant was relevant to the entire community and not to only certain members of the community. For our son and his Model U.N. peers, they learned how and why a community with so many divergent opinions and interests is able to come together. They are able to come together when they recognize common needs for themselves and their children. Those common needs have nothing to do with the leader but rather something far greater and far more sacred

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I'll Call Down Thunder And Speak The Same And My Words Fills The Sky With Flame (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Estimated Prophet"

Some fathers are so consumed with their own definition of happiness; they assume their children have adopted the same definition of joy and happiness. For the father that makes such an assumption, finding a spouse  for  his child is, in a sense, quite simple. Since the father knows what makes his child happy; he merely needs to dictate to the future daughter/son-in-law the type of job, lifestyle and life choices to be decided. However, there are some fathers who are less consumed with their own definition of happiness and more concerned about the the child's happiness. Such a father won't dictate anything to the daughter/son in law. Instead, the father will be sure to empower future in-law children and permitting them to determine happiness for themselves. This week, father’s in-law took on prominent roles in our home. Two fathers in-law appeared on the Israeli television show Shtizel that streams on Netflix. Shulem Shtizel, the 60 something Rosh Yeshiva is a widower, a father of three, grandfather, and a father in-law.  Shulem certainly did not approve of his daughter's choice for a spouse, a man named Lipa. When Lipa violates the marriage, Shulem could have tried to break up a dysfunctional marriage. He doesn’t seek to break up the marriage and he doesn’t focus upon his feelings. Rather he focuses upon his grandchildrens' welfare and happiness and his daughter and son in laws' welfare and happiness. Shulem also has a younger brother, Nachum. Nachum has one daughter who is engaged. Nachum’s betrothed son in law is Shulem Shtizel’s youngest son Kiva. (Yes, the first cousins are betrothed). When Nachum’s daughter states that she wants to marry her cousin, Shulem youngest son, her father Nachum thinks that his daughter’s happiness is her father’s version of happiness. So Nachum confronts the 28-year-old never married artist and tells him no painting, no art career, praying with a quorum only in a synagogue, no hanging around his friends, work in a 9-5 job and remain in Jerusalem. Needless to say, because Shulem didn’t throw his weight around; Shulem’s son-in-law, Lipa has gotten his life in order, saved his marriage and avoided potential estrangement from his 15-year-old daughter. Because Nachum chose to throw his weight around, he practically destroyed the spirit of his son in law whose only response was to break off the engagement.

            In this week’s Parsha, Yitro, we read two distinct narratives. In the first half of the Parsha, Moshe brings B’nai Yisroel to Midian. While there, Moshe spends a little time with his wife, his two sons and his father-in-law Yitro. Yitro acknowledges that G-d has been protective of B’nai Yisroel and that the Lord is greater than all other gods. The next day, Yitro sees Moshe sitting from morning to night mediating all problems that arise between individuals within the community. Yitro sees that his son-in-law is overextended and the current method of governing is neither good for him or Amchah. Being both a Priest of Midian as well as his father-in-law, Yitro offers advice as a father as well as a community leader. The second part of the Parshah, from chapter 19 through 20, tells of B’nai Yisroel’s revelation at Sinai.  The Parshah concludes with God’s declaration of the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments. The second part of the Parshah is very well known, incredibly unclear, and lends itself to numerous interpretations, commentaries, and Midrashim.  However, the two stories seem so disparate; it seems odd that both appear together in the same Parshah.  So, what is the connection between Yitro’s advice and Revelation at Sinai?

First, we must understand Yitro’s advice. Yitro suggests to Moshe “You be a representative of God, and you convey the matters to God…you shall make known to them the path in which they should go and deeds they should do. You shall discern from among the entire people, men of accomplishment, men of truth, men who despise money. You shall appoint them as leaders of thousands…they shall judge the people at all times, and they shall bring every major matter to you, and every minor matter they shall judge, and it will be eased for you, and they shall bear with you. If you do this thing and God shall command you, then you will be able to endure, and this entire people, as well, should arrive at its destination in peace.” (Ex. 18:19-23) Yitro explains to Moshe that a community must have a shared vision. To some degree, people need to know how to seek G-d on their own, and how to behave within a community. Others need to know G-d’s ways in order to inform those who need advice and adjudication. Everyone must have access to G-d and G-d’s teaching. Only then will Moshe’s load be lightened enough to bear. Then B'nai Yisroel will have a stake in the relationship with G-d. Only then will Moshe and B’nai Yisroel arrive at its destination, in peace. Only then will Moshe and B’nai Yisroel become willing participants in their covenant with G-d. Only then will the community be able to attempt to uphold their role as a “priest to the nations”. 

After Moshe heeded his father in-law’s advice, we read the second half of the Parshah, the Revelation at Sinai. Throughout this narrative, the focus is on the people, and Moshe’s ascending and descending the mountain. G-d’s instructs the Amcha, “the people” to prepare for Revelation. Three times God tells Moshe to inform B’nai Yisroel of everything that transpired between them. Moshe connects “the people” to G-d. Three days, B’nai Yisroel prepared for their “destination”. The “entire people” was in the camp, and they shuddered. Then Moshe brought the people from the camp toward God. (Ex 19:16-17). When presented with God’s covenant, “the entire people responded together and said, ‘everything that God has spoken we will do!’”(Ex 19:8) The narrative continually emphasizes that Revelation was not solely between God and Moshe. If it were, then Moshe’s role as teacher, prophet, and adjudicator of law would be overwhelming. No, Bnai Yisroel must be involved in the process. B’nai Yisroel must experience some aspect of Revelation. B’nai Yisroel must be active participants in Revelation. They were. The same for the sons in law: Kiva, Lipa and Moshe. They must be involved in the process rather than be dictated to and emasculated by the father in law. Yitro understood this and Shulem Shtizel understood it as well. I hope that someday, if and when I become a father in law, I understand it as well.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

The Holy On Their Knees. The Reckless Are Out Wrecking. The Timid Plead Their Pleas (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

Of the 17 students and faculty murdered at the Parkland, Florida school shooting, 5 were Jewish. Four of the five were students and one was a teacher.  Our children noticed that two Jewish fathers, Andrew Pollack and Fred Guttenberg’s responses have been most impactful upon them. Both fathers are devastated, both fathers lost daughters.  It would have understandable had these fathers chose to mourn their devastating loss amid the privacy and the quiet of family and friends. It would have been understandable if these two fathers were too sad, too enraged, too broken, and too full of tears to speak about their daughters or to speak about the need to devise some type of meaningful gun control legislation.  Rather than being overwhelmed and perhaps understandably numbed and paralyzed by their tragic losses, both fathers stood side by side with the high school students.   Both fathers have been outspoken, not only about their grief and their anger but also about making sure that their daughters’ tragic deaths will not become another meaningless, empty hopeless statistic. Both fathers have had confrontations with Senator Marco Rubio of Florida and President Trump criticizing their lack of resolve to stand up to the National Rifle Association (NRA) and the cult of Guns.

  This week’s Torah portion is entitled Ki Tissah. Parsha Ki Tissa is divided into several parts. The first part being the commanded to take a census of the population and collect a half shekel for each person counted. The second part is the final blueprints for the Mishkan, the spices that are to be used, as well as the oil that is to be processed prior to burning. God then designates two men, Betzalel ben Uri from the tribe of Judah and Ahaliav ben Achisamach from the tribe of Dan to be the Master Builder and Designer of this national project. God reiterates the commandment of the Shabbat and reminds Moshe that anyone who violates it will be put to death and his/her soul will be cut off from the people.  The next part B’nai Yisroel commits the sin of the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf): they built and then worshipped an idol. God wants to wipe out the people but Moshe urges God to reconsider. Moshe then descends the mountain and becomes just as upset as God, and he throws down the Shnei Luchot HaBrit – the Two Tablets of the Covenant. After a day or two when calm has been restored, Moshe re-ascends the mountain in order to pray for national forgiveness. Moshe then has an opportunity to experience another personal revelation even more powerful than the Burning Bush; Moshe has the opportunity to witness God’s passing before him. Dictated by God, Moshe chisels the Aseret Diberot into two new Tablets. He then goes back down the mountain. This time he descends with light and glory of God emanating from him.

During the moment when Moshe re-ascends the mountain seeking forgiveness for the people and Moshe experiences a personal revelation and watched God pass by; God reiterates the covenant.  VaYomer Hinei Anochi Koreit Brit Neged Kol Amcha E’eseh Niflaot Asher Lo Nivre’u V’Chol Ha’Aretz U’VeChol HaGoyim - God said, ‘Behold, I seal a covenant: Before your entire people I shall make distinctions such as have never been created in the entire world and among all the nations.; and the entire people among whom you are will see the work of Hashem – which is awesome - that I am about to do with you. HiShameir Lecha Pen Tichrot Brit L’Yosheiv Ha’Aretz Asher Atah Ba Aleha Pen Yiheyeh L’Mokeish B’Kirbecha- Be vigilant lest you seal a covenant with the inhabitant of the land to which you come, lest it be a snare among you. (Ex. 34:11-12)The lesson of the Eigel Zahav, (the Golden Calf) was that B’nai Yisroel mimicked the indigenous idolatrous people that were living in B’nai Yisroel’s covenanted land.  God reminded Moshe and by association reminded the people that they must not weaken the nature of the covenant. They must not deal with these nations for fear that B’nai Yisroel becomes ensnared (L’Mokeish), trapped, and weakened. How could these idol worshipping nations ensnare B’nai Yisroel? The fact is these nations cannot trap or ensnare B’nai Yisroel unless B’nai Yisroel ceases its vigilance, if they start dealing with these nations, or if they think that peace with these nations will lead to the perpetuation of B’nai Yisroel. From God’s perspective is to remind Moshe that the desire to make peace with those who want to destroy B’nai Yisroel, is not peace but rather will lead to B’nai Yisroel’s destruction.

It takes great courage to stand up for one’s beliefs. It takes even greater courage to confront leaders when standing up for one’s beliefs. Perhaps it takes the most courage and strength to channel that anguish, pain and suffering into the integrity required to prevent a loved one from becoming just another statistic. Each father has passionately confronted elected officials, Senators, Governor and President. Each father passionately and articulately expressed their commonly held belief that society must protect its children from the fires Molech, and the culture of death perpetrated by politicians and the NRA leadership. From these two fathers, our children understood that no matter the sacrifice, every parents’ most primitive inclination is to protect the lives of their children; and if their lives can’t be protected, the next child’s life must be protected.

Peace,

Rav Yitz 

My Words Fill The Sky With Flame; Might And Glory Gonna Be My Name (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Estimated Prophet")

        

          For the past several weeks, my kids have been asking me questions about food. No, I don't get too many questions about Kashrut. However, I am asked numerous questions about food, calories, fat content, and exercise. Apparently, I have a new job in our family. Perhaps I have a certain degree of "street cred" with my kids because of my weight loss and because of my daily work-out; a regimen including push-ups, crunches, and an hour on the elliptical machine. I have become our family's personal trainer/nutritionist/life coach/guru. Before I was just a dad. Primarily their questions are about food, nutrition, exercise, and anatomy. Invariably my answers drift into making sure to get enough sleep, avoiding stressful situations, developing healthy outlets for stress so that no one becomes emotionally overwrought and overwhelmed, being extremely disciplined in these new behaviors. They listen, and engaging in trial and error, they figure out what works for them, and only then do they realize that the hardest part is putting it into disciplined practice.

            This week's Parsha is Yitro. Named after Moshe father-in-law, who happens to be a Midianite priest, the Parsha begins with Moshe leading B'nai Yisroel toward the wilderness of Midian where he meets up with his father-in-law, his wife, and his two sons. Yitro suggests that Moshe should create a bureaucracy whereby others administer the small everyday rulings required of a judge. Difficult legal issues would be administered by Moshe. Moshe is then commanded by God to bring B'nai Yisroel to Har Sinai. For three days they will purify themselves, clean their clothes, not have marital relations, and purify their souls for a revelation. There with the mountain smoking and thunder billowing from the heavens, God begins to speak. B'nai Yisroel is absolutely petrified and fearing death, they beg Moshe to go up the mountain as their Shaliach (appointed messenger). Moshe ascends the mountain and receives the Aseret HaDibrot (the Ten Commandments), then descends. Upon his descent, he tells B'nai Yisroel the Aseret HaDibrot. The Parsha concludes with B'nai Yisroel readily accepting the Ten Commandments, Moshe re-assures the people not to fear the thunder and the flames, God attests to the fact that B'nai Yisroel has accepted these commandments and then commands Moshe to build an altar of earth.

         The Ten Commandments are bound by several themes. The first five commandments are God-oriented. The second five commandments are people oriented. Violation of The Aseret HaDibrot is punishable by death. Through our modern perspective, we may not agree but we can understand the concept of capital punishment in terms of murder, testifying falsely, (in which false testimony leads to death), or even kidnapping. However, how do we explain capital punishment as a punishment for not honoring your parents, keeping the Shabbat or committing Avodah Zarah (Idolatry)? Certainly violating Shabbat or violating the first five commandments that are all God oriented does not necessarily hurt someone else. Even not honoring one's parents might not warrant capital punishment in today's day and age. So how do we understand that each commandment is punishable by death? We know that if we do not take care of our bodies, there is a chance our bodies will be hurt. If we don't eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise then our resistance is low and there is a chance we will get sick. If we don't fasten our seatbelts then there is a chance that we won't be able to walk away from an accident. If we drink too much and too often or if we smoke, we know that we are doing damage to our body. As human beings, we also have a soul. Just like we know to do things that help our physical existence, there are things that we do to help our spiritual existence. Failure to take care of our souls is also detrimental to our existence. Failure to take care of our souls leads to emptiness, purposelessness and a misguided existence. The first five commandments are about the welfare of our souls in the context of our direct relationship with God.  The first five commandments give us a sense of purpose for own existence in relation to God. The second five commandment is also about the welfare of our souls, however, these second five commandments are within the context of our relationship to our fellow man beginning with our parents. By violating these second five commandments, we not only hurt the other person but in a sense, we damage ourselves, we diminish the holiness within our souls. As such, we are sentencing ourselves to a spiritual death.

            In a sense, our own ignorance, our own anxieties, our own insecurities, our lack of purpose and our lack of focus imprison us. The Aseret HaDibrot offers us a means to transcend that which imprisons us. We are provided a blueprint to live a life that is part of a community (the second five commandments) and accounts for our own sense of self-worth and purpose (the first five commandments). The Aseret HaDibrot teaches us and commands us to transcend time and space by adding meaning and holiness to our lives. The Aseret HaDibrot teaches us that our spiritual well being is just as important as our physical well being. When our soul is complete, filled with a sense of purpose, filled with love, and filled with the acknowledgment that there is God, we are able to transcend the physical.  As I continue answering my kids' questions about nutrition, exercise and trying to be healthier, I find that my answers not only focus upon their physical health: their nutrition, their physical fitness, their physical development, and the habits that support their physical beings. My answers and my deep-seated concern focus upon their spiritual, emotional, and moral health: their ability to handle stress, their positive demeanor, their sense of faith, their concern for others, their tolerance for those who are different, and to be part of the world rather than retreat from it. Finally, I remind them that health is as much a physical orientation as it is a spiritual/emotional orientation.

Peace,

Rav Yitz