Let's See With Our Heart These Things Our Eyes Have Seen (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Blues For Allah")

          Our grade 12 daughter just participated in her high school graduation. Covid -19 forced her, her classmates, and the school to re-adjust what a graduation ceremony would look like. My wife and several other mothers reached out to the school and pointed out other high school graduations that would be more than picking up a diploma at the school parking lot, or sitting in front of a computer on a Zoom graduation ceremony. So we decorated our minivan, drove to a drive-in movie theatre, and along with her classmates, as well as a live stream audience of extended family members (including her oldest sister, her grandparents, aunts uncles and cousins watched, listened, cheered and honked our car horn as our daughter received her diploma as well as an award. Certainly, we are proud parents. Mostly however we recognize that she is about to embark on the next chapter of her life as she continues to develop life skills and, in a sense, leadership skills.
          This week's Parsha is Shlach Lecha. Several disparate events occur in this Parsha. First, we read the story of Moshe sending Twelve Spies (one representing each tribe) into Eretz Canaan. Their mission was to ascertain the lay of the land, the strength of the inhabitants, and the fertility of the land. Except for Joshua and Caleb, the remaining ten spies returned with a negative report. The people heard this and wanted to return to Egypt. As a result of both the report and B'nai Yisroel's response, this generation was prohibited from entering the land. Next, we read about the laws concerning the taking of Challah, a fire offering, a burnt offering, feast offering. We read about the offering required for unintentional sin. After this brief discussion about ritual, B'nai Yisroel is reminded about the ethical treatment of native members of the community or proselytes. Then we read about who desecrates Shabbat by gathering wood on Shabbat.  Like the person who acts high handedly, this man was removed from the camp and punished with death. The Parsha concludes with a familiar passage that we know as the 3rd paragraph of the Shemah. We are commanded to wear tzitzit in order to remind us of three ideas: God's commandments, not to follow our eyes and our hearts (which will lead us astray), and God brought us out of Egypt (Num. 15:37-41).
          While reading the spies report, Numbers 13:27-29, and 13:31-33., we find out that the land is flowing with milk and honey and plenty of fruit. We find out that the native tribes dwell in fortified cities. We are told the names of the indigenous tribes and their geographical location. The tone suggests that these tribes are quite strong.  In the second part of their report, we are told that these spies do not think that B’nai Israel is physically capable of conquering this land and these indigenous tribes, for they are giants “and we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes (13:33) One spy, in one verse 13:30 publicly expresses disagreement with the spies. Caleb is the voice of dissent, Caleb speaks out. Caleb is heroic and inspiring.  However the Talmudic sages in the Tosefta comment that the first part of the report: “We came to the land and it flows with milk and honey and this is its fruit” was offered by Joshua. The rest of the report, except for 13:30 was offered by the other 10 spies.  Why do the Talmudic sages bring Joshua into the narrative and by doing so diminish Caleb’s powerful and passionate heroic voice? Indeed Joshua was Moshe’s choice. We know that one of the spies received special treatment from Moshe. Joshua was one of the spices and Moshe had renamed him. Clearly Joshua was Moshe’s eyes and ears on this mission and we know that Joshua will be one to assume the mantle of leadership. Even at this time, Joshua was being groomed for leadership. However, the dissenting opinion was not offered by Joshua; it was offered by Caleb. Caleb was the spy who went off on his own and went to Hebron to the Caves of the Machpela to “visit” the ancestors: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, and Leah. Caleb the same letters that make the word K’LeiV like the heart, Caleb speaks passionately from the heart. Also the same letters KLV which means dog. A dog barks when something appears or smells wrong, or dangerous. Joshua represents leadership within the system, cool and thoughtful, and endorsed by the establishments: Moshe and the Talmudic Sages.  Caleb represents leadership outside the system, passionate, inspiring, and challenging the majority and a voice of dissent. The Talmudic Sages bring Joshua into the text because the Talmudic Sages understand that both types of leadership: Cool and Passionate, working within the system and a voice of dissent; both types of leadership are required depending upon the situation.
         For our daughter, as she graduates during a time when people have taken to the streets to express a desire for social justice while other leaders deal with the cold analysis of numbers and fighting a pandemic, we see both styles of leadership are vital. Whatever the style, both types of leadership require a desire for truth, a desire to improve make society better, and a desire to care for society’s most vulnerable. As our daughter begins the next phase of her life, we hope that she incorporates both types of leadership so that way she remains true to herself, her values and strives to make the part of the world that she touches a better place.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Got Two Good Eyes But We Still Don't See ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Casey Jones")

          As parents, our son experienced bullying and it raises a difficult lesson.  Certainly there is no excuse for bullying to occur in a school. Every child should be able to walk into a school building and feel safe.  However I am also a realist. There will always be bullies and I want all my children to have the tools to deal with bullies. Among the more difficult concepts for our son to grasp, in large part because he is only 8, falls in the realm of verbal bullying. We teach all of our children that one can only fall victim to verbal bullying if one actually pays attention to the verbal bullying and if the listener cares what is being said and who is saying it.  As a result, we spend a lot of time on self image and self respect with our children. For our son, this is not so easy. Since he is so physically oriented, like most boys his age, our son always feels bullied by kids who are physically larger and in fact the boys that tend to bully him are the bigger kids in the class. Of course when our son comes home from school, he laments that he is the shortest and smallest boy in the class. He laments that because of his small physical stature, he thinks he is a target. When he sits with us and does this it reminds me of how I felt exactly the same way when I was his age.  As parents we want to make the problem go away and ease his life. On the other hand, we know that he must learn how to fight his own battles if he ever hopes to grow up into a mentsch. As he complains about his stature I ask how he puts on his pants.  “One leg at a time”, he says. I ask if one leg must remain on the floor while he puts on his pants. Astutely, he responds, “yes”. I ask him if the big kid who bully’s him needs to keep a foot on the ground while he puts on his pants. Again, our wise son responds with “yes”.  I ask him to look in the mirror and describe what he sees.  Interestingly enough, the first words out of his mouth are not “short” or “weak”.  Those negative words come later. 

            This week’s torah portion is Parsha Shelach Lecha. The Torah portion begins with the narrative of Moshe gathering up twelve spies, one corresponding to each of the twelve tribes, and giving them the mission. The spies are told to investigate the quality of the land – fertile or barren, its inhabitants - warlike or peaceful, the nature of cities –fortified or open? The spies go and investigate and return. Ten spies offer a negative report and two, Caleb and Joshua, offer a positive report. Bnai Yisroel listen to the ten spies with the negative report and fell utterly overwhelmed at the prospect of entering into the land that Hashem promised them.  Hysterical, the people beg to return to Egypt. Hashem wants to wipe them all out immediately but Moshe defends the people just like he did after the Golden Calf. So rather than wiping out an entire people Hashem punishes Bnai Yisroel by prohibiting this generation from entering into the land. Eventually, when the slave generation has died out, the generations born in freedom will enter Eretz Canaan.  The people hear the punishment and decide they are ready to enter the land. Moshe explains that it is too late since entry into Canaan is ultimately premised upon faith.  Then Moshe begin teaching Bnai Yisroel laws specific and premised upon settlement in the Canaan.  First Moshe teaches the Libation Offering as well as Challah. Next, Moshe teaches the laws of public atonement of unintentional idolatry, individual unintentional idolatry, intentional idolatry, a reminder about violating Shabbat and finally the laws of Tzitzit. 

            The ten spies whom Bnai Yisroel chose to believe did not really bring such a negative report. They explained that the land was fruitful and fertile, there were trees and that it was really quite beautiful.  The problem with the report was that it revealed more about the spies and Bnai Yisroel than the land itself. When seeing some of the inhabitants and the physical size of some of those inhabitants.  The Ten spies said Vanhi V’Eineinu Ka’CHaGaVim V’Chain Hayinu B’Eineihem – we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes. (Num. 13:33) How do the ten spies know how the Nefilim (the Giants) perceive them? Did they ask the Nefilim? The answer to both questions is “No”. No they don’t know how the Nefilim perceive the Ten Spies and “No”, the Ten Spies did not ask the Nefilim. The spies feel small because from their own perspective and self image, they are small. When they look in a mirror, they see slaves. They don’t see people who stood at Sinai and received the Torah. They don’t see a people who carry a Mishkan with Hashem protecting them and scattering their enemies. They don’t see a people worthy of Hashem’s daily miracles of Manna, and water.  Instead they carry with them the burden of two centuries of slavery and being slightly less than human rather than being slightly less than angels.  Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk  (The Kotzker Rebbe ) explained that this was the root of the spies as well as Bnai Yisroel’s sin. They had no right to consider how others viewed them, nor should they have been at all concerned.  They should have all been spiritually strong enough to realize and accept that they were “priests to the nations” and “chosen by God”. The fact that such spiritual awareness was still lacking even after all the miracles and promises that God made; meant that problem lay with Bnai Yisroel. These former slaves were not ready for the responsibility of land and people hood.

            As our son has grown both physical and spiritually this year, he has started to learn the valuable lesson that the generation of slaves could not learn in the Wilderness.  He realizes that the first thing he sees in the mirror is not something small and insignificant.  Yes he is short, now he realizes that at his age, it does not exclude him from being competitive.  Yes he's slight, but he looks at pictures of his father at the same age and sees himself.  He has started to understand that he needn’t worry about what bullies say since the comments have no bearing on his reality and his self image. Rather he should worry about what he can control, his schoolwork, his progress in Karate, baseball, his reading,  piano playing, and growing up to be a mentsch.  As a result, he has started to learn that the first step in dealing with bullying is dealing with oneself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz