I Hope You Will Believe What I Say Is True (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "They Love Each Other")

           It was an especially bittersweet week this week. It was my grandfather’s yahrzeit this week and it is our son’s Bar Mitzvah Parsha. Being the only one in the house,  I found myself gazing just a little bit longer at some of the pictures of my son and my grandfather. One picture, in particular, kept catching my eye, and I found myself gazing at it just a bit longer. The picture was taken during my sister’s wedding. It is a picture of my grandfather and his legacy: his son, grandson, and a great-grandson. The three adults, my grandfather, father, and I are standing shoulders straight across, but my son is situated between his grandfather and great-grandfather. There we are, four generations: a great grandfather, a grandfather, a father, and a young son, all in tuxedos, and all smiling. All at very different points in life.

          This week's Parsha is Re'eh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to its covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds Bnai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns Bnai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds Bnai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoiding non-kosher foods, not living in wayward cities, forgiving loans after seven years, care for the less fortunate, and celebrating the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

          Moshe’s dire warning concerning false prophets and listening to family members that follow false prophets is quite peculiar. First, the false prophet and dreamer comes from B'nai Yisroel. Second,  Moshe presents the warning in an “if” then statement. Ki Yakum B’Kirbecha Navi O Chalom  - If there should stand up in your midst a prophet or dreamer, and he will produce a sign or a wonder… (Deut. 13:2). The “then” part of the statement is straightforward and simple. “Lo Tishma” - Don’t listen, even if the prophecy or the sign and wonder comes true and apparently supporting the false prophet and dreamer. Moshe tells us to ignore the sign and the wonder, then  Moshe continues by telling us that the false prophet is really God testing us, testing our loyalty and the integrity of our relationship with God.  Moshe tells us what to do with the false prophet and the dreamer but there doesn’t appear to be any punishment for following the false prophet. Why are no punishments presented? Why would we ignore the “miracle”, the sign and the wonder? The false prophet and dreamer must be telling us something that we want to hear rather than what we need to hear. The false prophet must be telling us something that is easily demonstrable and provable yet fails to appeal to the “holiness’ of our relationship with God. Rather, the false prophet and dreamer appeals to our "human nature", our natural instincts. God, Torah, and the covenant always appeal to our godly and spiritual instincts. Moshe reminds us to help the stranger, help the poor, don’t behave like the dominant culture, not to “press” a borrower if they have difficulty repaying, and ignore those in authority if they convince you to do what you know is wrong, even if it makes us feel better. Moshe reminds the B’nai Yisroel that the punishment for disloyalty, for following the false prophet and the dreamer, is to end up like the rest of the nations that used to inhabit Canaan. The punishment for B’nai Yisroel’s failure is to lose the land.  

Seven years and four months after the picture was taken, the great grandfather passed away. A year after his death, the young son stood before the Kotel next to the father, received an Aliya, read from Parsha Re’Eh, and became a Bar Mitzvah. The grandfather,  long retired, had been too sick to travel so he and his wife watched as we streamed everything from Jerusalem.  It is now four years since the young son’s Bar Mitzvah and he will be entering grade 12,  and his grandfather, who turns 80 in a few months, is in good health. The father tears up when looking at a picture of a moment when four generations stood together, worrying about the health of the elder generation, worrying about the decisions and life choices facing the younger generation.  As I look at the picture, I am keenly aware of the wisdom I received from my elders and I do everything I can to transmit their wisdom, their truth, their wariness of moral relativism, and their suspicion of anyone who claims to have all the easy answers to complex problems and issues. There, in that picture, are three generations, who received the elder’s moral code, lives by it, and tries to remain true to it. For that is truly the greatest gift he left us.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

 

And all the children learning from books - Jerry Garcia "Cryptical Envelopment"

Amy Chua, a Yale University Law School Professor, just wrote a parenting book entitled the "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". She offers her perspective on parenting based on the Chinese model of parenting. She compares this model to the more genteel and coddling version of parenting that pervades Western Culture. Chua's conclusion is that western parents raise "soft" and delicate children. China raises intellectually strong, tough and disciplined children. Whether you agree with the book or not; the book is a best seller already. Once the book is no longer a "new release" on special display, the book will wind up in the "self-help" section. Recently I had the opportunity to spend some time at the Indigo Books up in Richmond Hill. . It is a bright open space, and even has a coffee/snack bar. Even more interesting than the idea of reading a book and sipping coffee is the store’s layout. I also checked out the Top 20 Best Seller list. Nearly one fifth of the books are categorized as 'self-help'. The largest and most frequented section of the store was the self-help section. Besides occupying the entire wall, most of the tables and chairs were in that section as well. There were a variety of self-help topics such as: divorce, parenting, spirituality, dysfunctional families, and addiction. Why was this the most frequented section of the store? What is so intriguing about the 'self-help' section of a bookstore? Don't we know a doctor, a lawyer, or a therapist that we could just speak to instead of looking in the self help section for the answers for what is lacking in our lives? I think the 'self-help' section's popularity is more than just a place for us to figure out how to solve our problems on our own. Rather the popularity of the 'self-help' section is merely a manifestation of human beings concern and obsession about relationships. Self-help books are all about relationships: relationships with ourselves, our families of origin, our children, our mates, our bosses, and even God. All these books essentially deal with the same two issues: solving problems in relationships or adding meaning to one’s life and one’s relationships.

Parshah Mishpatim is all about relationships, solving relationship problems, and adding meaning to one’s life and to those relationships. Following last week’s revelation, and receiving the Aseret Dibrot (Ten Commandments), Moshe and B’nai Israel receive the original self-help manual. It includes how to behave towards slaves, how to behave towards parents, fellow community members and newcomers, how to resolve conflicts, how to make legal decisions, how to take care of the land, and how to thank God for the harvest of the land. Upon hearing all this self-help advice, Bnai Yisroel responds in unison: Na’Aseh V’Nishmah - we will do and we will obey (Ex. 24:7). This is the perfect response for former slaves. Slaves were trained to obey. Free people however, were not trained to obey. Free people need to think and understand. Perhaps, B’nai Yisroel should have responded differently precisely because they were free. As a free people, perhaps B’nai Yisroel should have answered, “We’ll raise our consciousness about it, and then attempt to integrate it into our lives.”

We can understand B’nai Yisroel’s response in another manner. The issue is the meaning of the word V’Nishmah-(and we will obey). V’Nishmah also means we will listen or we will learn. We will do and we will listen, or we will do and we will learn is not the typical response for recently released slaves. This is a response of free people seeking self-help. To listen or to learn assumes a greater emphasis on the “self” rather than the help. “To obey” assumes greater emphasis upon the “help” rather than the “self”. To obey is an action that slaves or a king’s subjects engage in. Free people listen and free people learn. If we understand Nishmah as “listen” or “learn”, then B’nai Yisroel seems to have accepted God’s laws on their own accord. As a result, B’nai Yisroel accepts its responsibility as “a kingdom of Priests and a holy nation (Ex. 19:6). As a designated nation of priests, as a designated holy nation, B’nai Yisroel would lead by example. B’nai Yisroel would integrate behavior into their daily life. Then they could learn it and teach it. After we begin the action, then we can delve into the deeper philosophical meaning of the action. B’nai Yisroel effectively serves as a living example of self-help.

So what do we learn from B’nai Yisroel’s Na’Aseh V’Nishmah response? First we learn that laws and behavior are concerned with action or inaction. Second we learn that Jewish law, with its concern for our spiritual relationship with G-d as well as our daily relationship with our fellow human beings, is not relegated to the “once in a while” or “the three times a year”. Parshah Mishpatim concentrates on the mundane everyday aspects of human relationships. Halacha, Jewish law, must be viewed as an equal embodiment of ritual behavior and ethical/human behavior. The ritual and the ethical are not mutually exclusive. Quite the contrary, they are inexorably linked as a means of increasing the meaning of our everyday mundane relationships by adding elements of Godliness and holiness. Third, from B’nai Yisroel’s response, we learn how “self-help” is supposed to work. Talking about it or reading about it may satisfy our intellect. Perhaps it may allow us to feel better. However until the new behavior or advice is integrated into our lives, until we Na’Aseh, until we “Do”, the “self-help” never really helps.

B’nai Yisroel teaches us that self-help first begins with action. Certainly it can be a small action but it must be some type of action. However, as is evident from the Parshah, action is not confined to “once in a while”, or “when I feel like it” or a “few times a year”. Na’Aseh, doing or action, truly effective action, is integrated into our daily behavior and our routine. Then that action, which is a daily routine behavior, takes on the element of holiness and sacredness. Only then can we truly learn, investigate, dig for deeper meanings, and obey, Ni’shmah. Perhaps we can all learn a lesson from B’nai Yisroel’s response and integrate one mitzvah into our daily lives, Na’Aseh. Then as we integrate it, make it a part of our daily lives, we learn about it and understand the various levels of meaning, Nishmah. Then, hopefully, we will achieve more meaning in our life, and by extension, our community.