Finders Keeper Losers Weepers (Jerry Garcia & Merle Saunders)

I suppose it is tough being he youngest and only boy in our family. Our son has three older sisters.  Because he is the youngest, he thinks he can actually get away with almost anything. This past week, as we have packed for a move to our new home, and began unpacking in our new home; our son has been quite keen on organizing his room and unpacking. Every once in a while he will come across something in a bag or box that clearly does not belong to him. When his sisters realize that their possession is in his room our son loudly proclaims:  “Finders keepers loser weepers!” Soon a fight breaks out and our son re-iterates his firm belief in the idea that if you find something, then you get to claim it as your own. I congratulate him on his expert understanding of Finders Keepers Loser’s Weepers and then explain that in this house that rule does not apply.

            This week we read from Parsha Ki Teitze. Moshe reminds B'nai Yisroel of a variety of Laws. Moshe begins with the laws of behavior during war. Specifically, Moshe explains that a soldier cannot behave like an animal. Raping and Pillaging are not acceptable forms of behavior even during war. Instead the soldier mu st go through a period of time where he “cools off” and thinks about the practical implications of taking a captive wife. Moshe continues with laws concerning newlyweds, the rebellious son, the rights of the first born, the humane treatment of animals,  the sanctity of the camp, the Levirite marriage, and wiping out the memory of Amalek to name of the few mitzvot that  Moshe re-iterates. All these laws focus on human relations. All of these laws remind us that we must try to appeal the holiest aspect of ourselves and the basest aspect within our selves.

            Among the most practical laws that Moshe mentions is the laws concerning lost property. Lo Tireh Et Shor Achicha O Et Seiv Nidachim V’Hitalamta Meihem Hasheiv T’Shiveim L’Achicha. You Shall not see the ox of your brother or his sheep or goat cast off; and hide yourself from them; and you shall surely return them to your brother. Who is the “them” that the Torah refers? Is the “them” referring to the animals or the actually owners? The Talmud explains that them is the actual owners, in this particular case the sibling. Human nature suggest that we would be overcome by greed and perhaps even justify our actions because the person knows the owners. In the case when we don’t know the owners; one feels a greater sense of trying to return the lost item. When we know the owner, when it is our sibling, we make a series of assumptions that justify our taking and keeping the animals. Moshe reminds us that we can’t assume that our brother would want us to have the found item. Rather we need to actively overcome our greed, cherish our possessions and refrain from behavior that would make us want to hide ourselves. The Talmud also points out that the “them” could mean the animals. That is to say, when one sees our siblings animals (read: possessions), we ought not to hide from the animals. We should bring the animals’ home, and then notify the siblings that we have their possessions. If we agree with the Talmud’s first explanation, we are assuming a rather bleak perspective on human nature. If we agree with the Talmud’s second explanation, then we hold human nature in a more positive light.

Perhaps I am cynical. Maybe it is because I am a parent and have heard our son say “Finders Keepers” once too often. I do know that as we continue to unpack; I am willing to bet that our son will have an opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah of found property.  I have already told him that the next time he finds one of his sisters’ things; he ought to actively seek out his sister and return the item before she realizes that she was missing the item in the first place.  I promised him that it will make him feel better. The good thing is that there are so many boxes and I did the packing. And I know that by the end of the packing and the moving day everyone’s stuff was thoroughly mixed up.

Peace
Rav Yitz

Things That Are Twisted and Hide From The Light (Hunter & Hart - "Only the Strange Remain"

          One of the things that we find so impressive about the Toronto Jewish community is the incredibly supportive feelings it has for the state of Israel. While our experience in America has always reflected a highly politicized and complex relationship that had as much to do with religious affiliation as it does ones politics; here in Toronto we have found that Israel still manages to transcend the inherent differences within the Toronto Jewish community. Nowhere was this more evident than where our children attend school. On the street where their school is located, (which by the way is a Modern Orthodox Zionist school) exist a Reform day school as well as a Community based Jewish Day School. Throughout the year, one will notice enormous differences in the students, in their attire, in the type of homework they have, their curriculum and the way Judaism is observed in their homes. However on Yom Ha’Atzmaut, on Israeli Independence day, each school sent its students who were part of the actual celebration, (choir participants, dance participants and acting participants) to the other schools in order to enhance each school’s Yom Ha’Atzmaut celebration.  For one day, Jewish Children and very different communities set aside their differences and came together to support Israel. Certainly the schools and the families politics might reflect slightly nuanced disagreements; however Israel occupies a place that of holiness. It would seem that these three schools look at Israel as an ideal, as something to aspire to not only from a Zionist perspective but from a socio-religious/spiritual perspective.

This morning we read the double parsha of Acharei Mot / Kedoshim. In this double Parshah, following the deaths of Aaron’s to oldest sons, we learn about national  t’shuvah, (repentance) with the scapegoat Azazel and the national sin offering. This of course is Yom Kippur. We learn how the individual attains level of holiness in the context of human relationships. Not only is holiness attained through ritual and the individual’s and the nation’s relationship to god, but also the individual’s relationship to everyone else. Holiness is attained by elevating relationships and not turning those relationships abominations. Holiness is attained by treating people with civility and human decency, instead of showing favoritism. Holiness is attained to justice and mercy not favoritism. Also, throughout this double portion we are reminded that we obey because God is holy and we are a holy nation. We are a separate and distinct nation. Our holiness is directly related to our separateness from the rest of the world. Vi’Heyitem Li Kedoshim Ki Kadosh Ani Adoshem Va’Avdil Etchem Min Ha’Amim Li’heyot Li – You shall be holy for me for I, Hashem, am holy; and I have separated you from the People’s to be mine.(Lev. 20:26).

            After reading and thinking about this Pasuk, I can appreciate Toronto Jewry’s strong support of Israel and the frequent frustration with the double standard that Israel is held compared to the rest of the world. However, it seems that what makes Israel so special is the very fact that it does hold itself or tries to hold itself to a higher standard than its neighbors and even the rest of the world.  By holding itself to a higher standard, we and Israel arrive at the painful conclusion that the “other”, whatever that “other” is, (a person, a people, an element within our own personality that demeans our holiness), that “other” must be removed.  The problem of course is that one cannot rid oneself of evil without touching it, without being near it.  We need only to remind ourselves of  how the Israeli Army deals with the towns and villages in Gaza that foments such hatred.  Israel does not have the luxury of the United States. The United States’ war against terrorism very often means bombing a country, sometimes using planes with human pilots, and sometimes with drones.  The United States aims at military, Taliban and Al Qaida bases. However even if those bases were in urban populated areas, instead of risking our soldiers’ lives, the United States bombs first, then it sends in soldiers. Israel is a very different country. It holds itself to a different standard and it is aware that it is held to a different standard compared to the rest of the world. As a result, Israel has a different type of soldier.  Israel deliberately sends its soldiers into to fight at close range. Israel strategically decides to send its forces in fighting door to door in order to deal with this evil on the most intimate levels. Israel confronts evil not from thirty thousand feet in the sky, but rather 30 feet on the ground. Very often the Israel Defense Forces and for that matter, Israeli citizens, have seen evil in the face of a child wearing a bomb vest ready to murder himself and others.  This cannot possibly leave the soldiers, the Israeli people, or us feeling hopeful about mankind’s holiness and spirit.

            Yet Torah does offer us hope. Torah does offer us a framework. Treat others decently because we are a holy nation. We fight in a holy manner. We do everything we can to preserve life. And if God forbid we see evil, we must have faith that eventually evil will be eradicated and holiness will win out, life will defeat death, humanity will defeat inhumanity, and reason will defeat insanity.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I Was All Night Running, Running, Lord, I Wonder If You Care (Hunter/Garcia -Bertha)

Last Sunday was the final episode of the television season for Desperate Housewives. It was a two hour episode that neatly tied up numerous loose ends developed over the course of the past season and previous seasons. Like any good final episode there was a bit of cliffhanger so that we have something to look forward to in the next season. Two of the Desperate Housewives story lines are particularly poignant. One had to do with the WASPY prim and proper Bree who finally consummated her new romance with Detective on the local police force. The Detective was going through a divorce and did not want to do anything with Bree that would endanger his divorce. Knowing that they were off limits to each other, their passion for each other was expressed in kisses, innuendo, and speaking to one another. Even before this relationship is consummated, we know that this is an intensely passionate relationship between two adults. The second story has to do with Tom and Lynette Scavo. They have been married for approximately twenty years. They have five children and Tom recently landed an incredibly lucrative position thereby allowing his family to live in a comfortable manner that they had never enjoyed. However over the past few episodes we have watched this couple become passionate-less. They no longer fight; instead they have resigned themselves to the fact neither of them “wants to keep doing this anymore.” In one particularly poignant scene, when Lynette mistakenly thought that Tom had left the two were talking about her reaction. She explained that she was not so sad, nor shocked but mostly relieved. She was relieved that they were no longer stuck but rather making a decision and moving forward. Both of these relationships succeed or fail because of Passion. Passion can be expressed in a positive manner or a negative manner, but in what every manner it is expressed, passion demonstrates that people are engaged and not alienated. Passion demonstrates caring about something as opposed to being utterly cavalier. When there is no passion, when people are only cavalier then the relationship dies.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Bechukotai. It is the final Parsha of the Book of Leviticus. For the past ten Parshiot, Sefer Vayikra, the Book of Leviticus has taught us how to act in a holy manner. We have learned how to behave towards God in a holy manner. We have been taught how to treat member of our family in a holy manner. We have been taught how to treat people outside of our family, friends, acquaintances, employees, and the needy in a holy manner as well. We have been given tools by which we are able to approach God in a sanctified way. We have been given tools to sanctify the seasons, as well as the land of Israel. Finally, here in the last Parsha we are told the reward as well as the punishment if we fail to learn and observe these commandments. The reward is quite simple and straightforward. Im B’Chukotai Teileichu v’Et Mitzvotai Tishmeru Va’Asitem Otam V’Natati Gishmeichem B’Itam V’Natna Ha’Aretz Y’Vulah V’Eitz Ha’Sadeh Yiten Piryo – If you follow my decrees and observe my commandments and perform them; then I will provide you with rains in their time, and the land will give its produce an the tree of the field will give its fruit. (Lev. 26:3-4). Ultimately our reward is predicated upon fulfilling the commandments.

The punishment is neither simple nor straightforward. Normally one would think that merely our failure to observe and fulfill the commandment would be reason enough for punishment. However this is not the case. Our punishment is a result of something worse than our failure to observe and fulfill these commandments. V’Im Lo Tishme’u Li, V’Lo Ta’asu Eit Kol HaMitzvot Ha’Eila – If you will not listen to me (obey) and will not perform all of these commandments; V’Im B’Chukotai Timasu V’Im Et Mishpatai Tigal Nafshechem – if you consider my Decrees loathsome, and if your being rejects My ordinances (Lev. 26: 14-15) then we receive punishment. There are a series of seven sets of punishments and after each set; we are given an opportunity for Tshuvah, for Repentance. If after each set of punishments we continue to ignore God, then we receive another set of punishments. The Torah keeps repeating a phrase which is far more powerful than “ignoring” God. V’Halachtem Imi B’Keri and if you behave towards Me cavalierly, then the next set of punishments are warranted. It could be argued that our divine punishment is a result of our lack of passion, our lack of care and concern for our role and responsibility in our relationship to God.

Worse than our failure to fulfill our obligations in relationships; is our utter lack of concern or care that we failed to fulfill our obligations. Worse than fighting in the relationship; is disengaging from the relationship. When one disengages in the relationship, the other becomes desperate desiring some type of passion either positive or negative. God grows angry with us when we disengage, when we drop out and don’t care that we have dropped out. Our punishments all reflect God’s creating greater distance from us, a form of dropping out as well. Desperation is not confined to housewives; it is a universal and unfortunate result of others treating something that is sacred and holy B’Keri in a cavalier manner.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

"For a Person as Perfect as You" (John Barlow, Bob Weir, Brett Mydland - Hell in a Bucket)

This past Sunday night, I received a text message from my eldest daughter “to turn on the news; the President was about to speak”. Usually Presidents like to speak during prime time during the weeknight, not on a Sunday night. Certainly Presidents do not like to ever speak after 11pm EST. However this President did precisely that, appearing before the American people a little after 11:30pm on Sunday night. President Obama stated quite simply that a Special Forces op had found and killed Osama Bin Laden. Considering that two Presidents over the course of nine years and 7 months had been looking for Bin Laden, this was certainly newsworthy. As more information about the special operation consisting of two helicopters and Navy Seals was revealed; several important ideas became evident. One of the Helicopters malfunctioned and landed in Bin Laden’s compound as opposed to outside the compound as originally planned. There was some doubt as to whether Bin Laden was at that compound. Although, due to its size at the height concrete wills and barbed wire fence; administration officials believed that there was a strong likelihood that bin Laden was there. The Navy Seals and bin Laden’s body were all loaded onto one helicopter and quickly fled from Pakistani airspace with three Pakistani jets giving chase. This information and information similar to it supports the administration’s claim that this mission was far from perfect. What has captured the fancy of the press and the American public is that this special ops mission overcame several “several less than perfect” variables and situations and still managed to succeed. At the very least, it was abundantly clear that these Navy Seals performed in a manner that allowed them to overcome the “less than perfect”. Had the Seals performed in a less than “perfect” manner, American lives would have been lost, Bin Laden may have survived, and the United States would have become a laughingstock, as with the 1979 failed hostage escape from Iran. We learned from this very successful Special Forces op that we can practice behavior, control our responses, and perfect our behavior as we respond to that which may or may not be perfect.

This week we read from Parsha Emor. The four chapters that comprise Parsha Emor focus on the various aspects of Perfection. First the Torah focuses upon the importance of the physical and spiritual perfection and purity of the Kohen. He must remain in a perpetual state of purity. He is restricted in terms of whom he can marry. He is restricted in regards for whom he can mourn. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second of the four chapters reminds B’nai Yisroel that when approaching God with an offering, the individual must be spiritually pure and perfect and so must the offering. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev.22:25). The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the perfection and the purity of time. Time is define as perfect in the season follow an order, the holidays such as Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur are designated to come in a particular order. That order is both pure and perfect since time and the designation of “Sacred” time comes from God. The fourth chapter speaks about maintaining purity and the perfection of physical space in this case the Mishkan, and all that is in the Mishkan. The Torah even deals with perfection and purity of human relationships and the punishments to be meted out when that perfection, purity and holiness is violated. “If a man inflicts a wound on his fellow, as he did, so shall be done to him: a break for a break, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth…” (Lev.24:19-23). In a sense, this last chapter reminds us of God’s charge to B’nai Yisroel.

Everything we do is designed to sanctify God’s name through deed. Whether attending to the Mishkan, the treatment of animals or of our fellow man, it all boils down to the sanctification of God. It is quite evident that the Parsha deals with both the “big picture” of human behavior (“a life for a life” Lev. 24:18) and the seemingly insignificant minutiae of measurements of certain offerings “a meal offering shall be two tenth ephah of fine flour mixed with oil,” (Lev. 23:13). It is also quite evident that parts of the text seem overly restrictive, discriminatory, and harsh. By combining both the “big” issues, and the minutiae, we learn that Judaism is a holistic orientation designed to elevate every aspect of our physical existence.

In Parshah Emor, we learn why Judaism can be so difficult. Our sole purpose as Jews is mentioned in Leviticus 22:32. V’Lo T’Chalelu et Shem Kodshi V’Nikdashti B’Toch B’nai Yisroel, Ani Adonai M’Kadishchem –“You shall not desecrate my holy Name, rather I should be sanctified among the Children of Israel, I am the Lord who sanctifies you.” In a way, desecrating God’s holy name (blaspheming) is tantamount to murder. Why? Both blasphemy and murder are punishable by death, or in other words “a measure for measure”. We know that mankind, like other animals, seeks pleasure. However unlike the rest of creation, mankind is the only animal that is capable of spiritual pleasure as well as physical pleasure. Judaism’s orientation is based on the value that sanctifying God can be a pleasurable experience. Yet, the irony of our society is that doing "good" is often difficult and perhaps painful. Very often being good and doing good is considered boring, and “not cool”. Also, the prevailing attitude of our society is neither “measure for measure”, nor the assumption of responsibility for our actions. Instead we try to “get one over” on the next person. Parshah Emor teaches us that we “cannot get one over on the next person”. Ultimately, we are all equal. While the expression of such equality may differ, we are all equal. Ultimately we have the same purpose. Ultimately, we are all charged to uphold Torah, and live a life of Kedushah, Holiness. Ultimately we are all judged by one law (Lev. 24:22).

Certainly Judaism is difficult. Part of the difficulty is that climbing the ladder of holiness requires effort and desire. Climbing this ladder will affect and even change our lives. It affects what we eat, it affects how we relate to our mates, it affects our treatment of others, it affects how we look at time and space, it affects our relationship to God, and how we relate to ourselves. The other reason for its difficulty is that we are all examples to our families, our communities and the outside world. Therefore Judaism, and the knowledge required to do Judaism must be accessible to all of us. We only need to put in the work. Judaism must be accessible not only to the Orthodox but to all of us since we, as a people, are supposed to be a “light unto the nations”. We are supposed to be role models for the rest of the world. If Judaism, the sanctification of the self, and the sanctification of God were easy, then neither could we appreciate it, nor commit to it. Therefore we must struggle to climb the ladder of holiness everyday. Only by climbing this ladder we begin sanctifying God as well as ourselves and demonstrating to all that life of Mitzvot can be very meaningful.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

They're Telling Me Forgiveness is the Key to Every Door - Bobby Peterson, Phil Lesh "Unbroken Chain"

When I was a kid, and did something wrong, the following scene always occurred. My parents reprimanded me. After a long and stern talking to, I petulantly responded with an apology. My mother or father would look at me and say, “No, you’re not sorry. I am not interested in your apology. Just don’t do it again.” Of course I would begin to panic because it seemed that no prescribed formula existed for me to get back into their good graces. After I had some time to think about it, I would apologize a second time. This apology sounded less petulant, more thoughtful, and certainly more meaningful. My parents would look at me, and in a much gentler tone, I would receive my punishment and be sent on my way. Interestingly enough, I was happy to be punished. At least I wasn't being ignored and dismissed. Now, thirty years later, guess what? The same scene occurs. The same conversations transpire. The same petulance erupts, the same attempts at an appropriate apology occurs. The same sense of relief radiates from the face when the child realizes that the punishment offers a path to re-establishing a warmth and closeness. The only difference is that I am the father, and I play this scene out with my four children.

In this week’s Parsha, Ki Tisa, we read about Moshe and a nation entering into the apology process. We read about T’shuvah. The parshah begins with God telling Moshe to conduct a census and each adult should make a donation. Meanwhile, B’nai Yisroel had been getting quite worried while Moshe was up the mountain for 40 days and nights. So they had Aaron build a Golden Calf. Well needless to say, B’nai Yisroel’s idolatry (avodah zarah) did not exactly go un-noticed. God says “Let my anger flare up against them and I shall annihilate them…” (Ex. 32:10). Moshe was just as angry. “Moshe’s anger flared up, He threw down the tablets from his hands, and shattered them at the foot of the mountain” (Ex. 32:19). Moshe chastised the people and then went back up the mountain to placate God’s anger. After everyone calmed down, punishments were meted out. As God and Moshe began the re-issuing of the two tablets, something fascinating happened. God and Moshe grew closer. God had a new found respect for Moshe and his people, and Moshe had a new found closeness with God. So much so, that Moshe uttered the words “Hodi’eini nah et D’rachecha V’Eda’acha -Make your way known to me so that I may know You…Show me Your Glory” (Ex. 33:13:14). God re-issues his covenant with Moshe, and reveals himself to Moshe. God makes his way known to Moshe by uttering a formula, the Thirteen Attributes.

What an incredibly powerful moment! Moshe sought forgiveness, and learned how to do so in a thoughtful and honest manner. Certainly, there was punishment. Certainly, there was fear. Yet the process resulted in a closer, more loving, respectful, and powerful relationship. This closer, more awesome relationship is a product of doing T’shuvah, repentance. As a nation we had never sought repentance. As a nation, we did not even know what repentance was. As a nation, as children, we were just told to behave. We had not tested the ramifications for disobedience. Now, B’nai Israel had made a grievous mistake. This mistake emanates from a group of spiritual children who test.. However, part of the spiritual maturation process, like emotional and physical maturation involves falling down, making mistakes, and then knowing enough to seek repentance, to do T’shuvah. Moshe did this on behalf of B’nai Yisroel. God taught Moshe what honest, meaningful, and thoughtful repentance meant. God gave Moshe a code, a formula to be used by the nation after a long, thoughtful, meaningful repentant process occurred. Ado-shem Ado-shemi k'El Rachum v’Chanun, Erech Apaim v’Rav Chesed v’ Emet, Notzer Chesed La’ Alafim, Noseih Avon V’Feshah v’Chata’ah v’Nakei-“HaShem, HaShem G-d, Compassionate and Gracious, Slow to Anger, and Abundant in Kindness and Truth, Preserver of Kindness for thousands of generations, Forgiver of Iniquity, Willful Sin, and Error and Who Cleanses….” (Ex 34:6-7). Rabbi Yochanan, a great Talmudic sage in the Talmudic Tractate Rosh Hashanah (17b), explained: if this verse were not written, it would be impossible for us to say. We could never describe God like this. This passage teaches us that God wrapped himself in a Tallis like the person leading the congregation in prayer. And like the person leading the congregation in prayer, God showed Moshe the order of this particular prayer. “Whenever Israel sins, let them perform before Me this order of prayer, and I shall forgive them”.

As children, adults, and as a people, we all need a way to apologize in a meaningful, honest and thoughtful manner. We all need a safe haven to issue such an apology. Then when punishment is meted out, we understand that it is a result of behavior and not for being. We also get the message that the punishment does not mean that we are not loved. Rather it is just the opposite. If meted out fairly, warmly, and in a loving manner, we get the messaged that we are cared for and loved. We get the message that the punishment is part of the process by which we can return to that warm and close relationship. No matter how long we remain negligent in our behavior and observance there is a way back towards God and Torah. However the impetus is upon us. We must take the first steps. We must go through some introspection, some tough honest introspection, and some self-reflection. The formula spelled out here in Ki Tissa, demands it. Otherwise we say the words petulantly and defensively. The process then becomes rather empty. Only then we engage in a thoughtful apologetic process can we achieve meaningful repentance. Only then can we achieve a sense of self-contentment, inner peace and spiritual radiance. “When Moshe descended from Mount Sinai… Moshe did not know that the skin of his face had become radiant” (Ex. 34:29). In fact, we know that children radiate this type of glow when the punishment is meted out, we hug them and they are thankful.

Peace,

Rav Yitz