So Let Us Not Talk Falsely Now, The Hour Is Getting Late (Bob Dylan -"All Along the Watchtower")

I am always amazed at the difference between sons and daughters. Besides the obvious differences, I am even more amazed at the social relationships that pre-adolescent and adolescent boys have with each other and the social relationships that pre-adolescent and adolescent girls have with each other. Boys are much more physically oriented. The conflicts are more physically oriented and even the way hurt feelings are dealt with and ultimately resolved are more physically oriented. When I ask my son about school; rarely do I receive an answer that is academically oriented. More often than not I hear about the latest confrontation, the latest wrestling match, or who beat whom in a fight. Honestly, sometimes I think my son is like a Jewish Don King, always promoting a fight, booking a fight or selling tickets to the fight.  When I ask my daughter about school, I usually hear about the latest insults or rumors spread about some classmate, how the classmate was upset, how the rumors weren’t true but the person who started the rumor had it in for the other girl. Frankly, after about five minutes of this my eyes begin to dim, my mind begins to wander off into current events, news stories, who is pitching for the Yankees tonight, or if the Rangers will make it out of the first round of the NHL playoffs. Just before I completely emotionally and intellectually depart from my daughters monologue, I politely interrupt and ask her if this is Lashon HaRah –Speaking ill of another. I quickly add that if it is, I do not want to hear about it and my daughter should refrain from telling me about it. Recently one of my daughters was in the throes of some serious gossiping stopped cold and began expressing empathy for the girl about whom the rumor of the week spread. She asked if there was anything she could do. “Ahhhh” I thought to myself, “a teachable and parental moment”.  I told her the famous story from the Talmud.

One man spread a rumor about another. He later felt regret, and went to the rabbi to ask how to make amends. “Go to the store and buy a bag of seeds,” said the rabbi, “then go to a big open field and scatter the seeds into the wind. Do so and report back to me in a week.” The man did as he was told, and came back the next week to find out what to do next. “Now,” said the rabbi, “go back to the field and pick up all the seeds.” “But,” protested the man, “those seeds have scattered far and wide!"I’ll never find them all. Many have even already taken root!” “Exactly,” explained the rabbi. “Now you understand. When we speak badly about another person, the effect is far and wide. And it is damage that can never be fully undone.” Gossip, Lashon HaRah, kills. It kills the subject, the listener as well as the speaker.

This week’s parshah is the combined parshiot of Tazria and Metzora. In keeping with the Levitical theme of Kedushah, holiness, these parshiot teach us the Kedushah diminishes when touched by death, either physical or spiritual. When blood is lost, especially during childbirth, the woman has been touched by death and must become spiritually touched by life. She must enter into Mayim Chayim, living waters, the Mikveh. When a person has gossiped, or found evil in a name, Motzi Shem Rah, that person has touched death. Leprosy is merely a physical manifestation of that spiritual death.For the Talmudic Sages, the name of the Parsha, Metzorah serves as an acronym for Motzi shem Rah. Hence, they were able to connect laws of purity and impurity to something that we could all relate to.

The idea that speech carries this kind of power was a revolutionary concept in biblical times. For modern societies, this is still a revolutionary concept. How many of us grew up with the adage that “Sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me!” Judaism teaches just the opposite. Mankind has the power to create; mankind has the power to destroy. We create books, we can destroy books, we create human life, we can extinguish human life, we can build esteem through our words and we can slander and defame with our words. Names can hurt; names can destroy.

There are many ways to build a community. If we are Spartans, we built our community upon the ideals of service to the army/state, and conquest of foreign lands. If we are Athenians we built our community upon the ideals of art and philosophy. If we are the Soviets we built it upon the ideals of the totalitarian of the state. If we are Americans we build our community upon the ideals of capitalism, and if we are Canadians we build our community upon the ideals of capitalism with a large social safety net. Only the Jewish community, the ideal Jewish community as espoused in the book of Leviticus is built upon the ideals of holiness. Here in Parsha Tazria/Metzora, we learn holiness is directly related to how we treat others as well as how we treat God. The community becomes holy; that is, God remains dwelling among us when we treat those created in God’s image as holy. We don’t spread rumors and speak ill of others let alone to do so to elevate one’s own ego or personal agenda. It creates divisiveness in a community. It breeds mistrust and spawns contempt. Lashon HaRah is an affront to God because it damages the divine spark that God placed within all of us.

Every day we are confronted by Lashon Harah. We hear it on the news. We are confronted by it when we are “hanging out” with our friends. We even engage in it. Most likely we have been subjects of it as well. Think how holy, how warm and how safe would this or any community be if Lashon HaRah did not exist? No one would have anything to be concerned about. Everyone would know and certainly appreciate that they would be judged favorably. Everyone would enjoy the benefit of the doubt as opposed to the assumptions that follow rumors. Sadly, for some of us it would mean not talking as much since for some of us Lashon HaRah is what we do.  So is such a community an ideal that only exists in the perfect world? Probably, but it his human nature to strive towards perfection. Lashon Harah can be achieved; it just requires a steadfast commitment and resolute awareness that we do indeed possess great power. We have the power to hurt others. We have the power to hurt others with our words. We also have the power to trust, to grant the benefit of the doubt and when we are hurt we confront those who hurt us as opposed to involving a third party.

Needless to say when I remind my daughters of that story or better yet, when they realize how easy it is to contribute to Lashon HaRah, they stop in their tracks. I can return to the conversation and listen as they tell me about what they learned in school rather than the rumors that floated around the school.

Peace

Rav Yitz

The Holy on Their Knees (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia -"Days Between")

Well Pesach is now finished. Pesach dishes have been packed and put back into the Pesach closet. Chameitz dishes have been returned to the cabinets. The pantry was restocked with chameitz. We have already had pasta. In my last trip down to our basement, I was bringing some of the chameitz from our basement refrigerator to our kitchen refrigerator. I happened to see one of the Costco egg cartons that hold 30 eggs. It turns out we still have about one dozen eggs left from Pesach. My wife thinks that she used approximately 250 eggs. 250 eggs is a lot of cholesterol. In fact, as I was putting all the Pesach stuff away and started eating chameitz, I realize that Pesach might not be the holiday with the healthiest traditional holiday foods. The vast amount of cholesterol that we consumed reminded me of some of the narishkeit that I learned in Hebrew School. Specifically, I vividly remember being no older than 8 years old and a grandmotherly looking Hebrew school instructor teaching us the biggest “meiser” about Kashrut. When we asked her why do Jews keep kosher, she explained that Bnai Yisroel were so smart and so advanced that they understood Kashrut was for health reasons; and that pork cause trichinosis and that shellfish caused other types of health problems. When I think about that answer, that teacher, and when I listen to people of my generation share their negative Jewish Educational experiences, I understand why so many of us are committed to giving our children positive and meaningful Jewish experiences based upon text and thought as opposed to narishkeit and meisers.

This week’s Parsha is Shemini. It is comprised of three chapters. The first chapter tells us how sacrificial offering are supposed to work. While receiving instructions from Moshe, Aharon, his brother and the High Priest, makes sacrificial offerings on behalf of the people. Following every instruction down to the smallest detail, and remaining in the highest state of spiritual purity, Aharon slaughters the animal, sprinkles the blood, and burns the animal. Once finished, Moshe and Aharon leave the Mishkan, and come out to bless the people. V’yeirah Kavod Adonai El Kol Ha’Am-“And the glory of the Lord appeared to all the people” (Lev 9:23) Obviously we can see how sacrifices are supposed to work. We see how god’s pleasure is displayed and the people response to witness such glory. They bow their heads. This chapter essentially explains God’s response to the sacrifices. When everything is appropriate and in the proper spirit, God accepts our approach. The second chapter concentrates much more upon the priests and what happens when things are not appropriate or not conducted in the proper spirit. Aharon’s eldest sons die for their inappropriate approach toward God. Moshe reminds Aharon and his remaining sons that one must be physically and spiritually pure when offering sacrifices both on their own behalf and on B’nai Yisroel’s behalf. However what do either of these chapters half to do with Kashrut?

The discussion of Kashrut is confined to the last chapter of the Parshah, chapter 11. In it we read a list of animals that we are forbidden to eat. Some of which I probably would not eat even if it was kosher. However the answer to why we keep kosher is provided “For I am Adonai your God-you are to sanctify yourselves and you shall become holy; and you shall not contaminate yourselves…For I am Adonai who elevates you from the land of Egypt to be a God unto; you shall be holy, for I am holy. This is the law of the animal, the bird, every living creature that swarms in the water, and for every creature that teems on the ground; to distinguish between the impure and the pure, and between the creature that may be eaten and the creature that may not be eaten.” Kashrut is merely a physical expression of our purity. God accepts offerings of all kinds. Priests purify themselves in order to make offerings acceptable to God. What about the rest of us? What everyday activity do we engage in which allows us to demonstrate our sense of purity and our own sense of holiness? We eat. The priest engages in a very physical process, slaughters animals, sprinkles blood, and burns the carcass. This is an extremely dirty, smelly endeavor, and when done accordingly it is received by God. The physical and the spiritual are inseparable. The priest approaches God through a very physical process.

We also have an opportunity to approach God in a very physical and daily process. We remind ourselves everyday of our own sense of holiness and our relationship to God through Kashrut. It is important that we remind ourselves of the premise. B’nai Yisroel yearns to have God dwell among it.
They built a Mishkan, they live according to laws which guide them in appropriate behavior with members of the community. The Mishkan and the laws of behavior take care of the community’s relationship to God and the community’s relationship to each other. However the laws of Kashrut permit the individual within the community to approach God on a strictly individual basis.

How wonderful! Parshah Shemini teaches that we all have a means to approach God. Priests make sacrifices, and the rest of us eat. By engaging in such physical activity in a manner that consists of limits to that physical activity, we remind ourselves of our relationship to God. In a way, I suppose my teacher was right. We do keep kosher for health reasons. However not the type of health reasons she was talking about. We keep kosher for our spiritual health. We keep kosher to remind us of our relationship with God. We keep kosher to remind us that just as God is holy, so too are we holy.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

They Love Each Other, Lord You Can See That It's True (Hunter & Garcia - "They Love Each Other")

With three daughters, every so often I get anxious regarding that moment when they discover boys. Thankfully our youngest daughter is only nine and still is of the mindset that boys are “gross” just like her little brother. Our oldest is preparing to graduate from college (that’s American for “university”) and she is completely focused upon getting a job and having a career. Right now she has absolutely no interest in boys and a relationship. That leaves our twelve year old. No, she is not boy crazy in the least bit, but it has been fascinating watching her leave the “boys are gross” stage and talking with boys at the Shabbat table. For our twelve year old, boys are no longer “gross”; some of them are actually “people.” Of course, all this is my reason to worry, first the boys become “people” and then one or two becomes friends, and then comes “cute” and then comes “puppy love”, and then? Then I try to stop thinking about it and try to end my anxiety attack.

This Shabbat is the last day of Pesach. Among the additions to the Shabbat/Pesach service is the fact that we say Yizkor and commemorate the deceased. Because we are celebrating a Festival that did not have an intermediate Shabbat, but rather the last days fall on a Shabbat; we read a Megillah - a Scroll that corresponds to Pesach. ChaZaL – our sages teach us that we read Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs. This biblical text, taken from Ketuvim (Writings) is attributed to Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon. The eight chapters, which are song in a melody different from both Torah and Haftarah speaks of the young romantic love between a young couple. I imagine that this young couple is in their early twenties but there is no evidence that suggests a specific age. One thing is for sure, because the text begins with the words: Shir HaShirim Asher L’Shlomo – The Song of Songs by Solomon. ChaZaL explains that only a young man in throes of romantic love would write such poetry. A middle age man wouldn’t write such romantic poetry since some of the idealism of that romantic love would have waned, and certainly a older man, towards the end of life wouldn’t write of romantic love since an older man would be more scarred by life’s experience. Nevertheless, this beautiful poetry and the illusions of green meadows, deer, trees and fruit, portray a romantic vision that would great poets such as Shakespeare and Keats jealous with its use of language.

The question is why we read Shir HaShirim during the Pesach Festival. How is a nation attaining liberty remotely connected to Romantic poetry? R’Akiva, the same R’Akiva that we all read about in the Haggada at our respective sederim, comments that the Song of Songs is the holy of holies (Midrash Tanchuma). We understand that something becomes holy when it has been separated from the mundane and ordinary and elevated to a higher purpose. Certainly, Bnai Yisroel fits such a description. Throughout the story of the Yetziat Mitzrayim, when Moshe request of Pharaoh that Bnai Yisroel be released from bondage, Moshe repeatedly says to ‘Let me people go… Asher Ya’Avduni “So that they may serve me.” Clearly the purpose of being released from Pharaoh’s slavery enabled Bnai Yisroel to enter into a relationship with God. As long as Pharaoh declined Moshe’s request, the more Pharaoh prevented Bnai Yisroel from separating itself from Egypt and elevating itself for the sole purpose of entering into a sacred relationship with God. Now that Bnai Yisroel has been freed from Egypt, it can return to the sacred relationship with God, a relationship that it had not experienced for over two centuries. From that perspective, the relationship, with this generation of Bnai Yisroel is novel, idealistic and romantic. After all, within our tradition we view Hashem as our protector, we view Hashem as bound to the Jewish people much like a husband is bound to a wife. On Friday nights, we have a Kabalistic tradition of viewing the Shabbat Queen as our spiritual mate. After all, Sunday has Monday, Tuesday has Wednesday and Thursday has Friday. Can Shabbat really be left alone? According to Midrash, Shabbat is paired off with the Jewish People. (Breishit Rabba h 11:8)The Shabbat Bride serves as a symbol of that pairing off.

As Pesach draws to a close, our story doesn’t end, nor does our relationship with God draw to a conclusion. Because we are counting the Omer each evening up until 50, we understand that our job is to prepare ourselves for our long, awaited re-union with Hashem. That re-union will occur on Shavuot when we stand at Sinai to receive the Torah. Shir HaShirim merely marks the beginning of a loving relationship, a courtship prior to a marriage, a time when we should be full of romantic visions prior to entering a relationship built upon obligations. As a father of three daughters, someday all three will grow into relationships that culminate in the sanctity of marriage. For now, however, I have enough anxiety just dealing with “young romantic” love.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Go To Sleep You Child, Dream Of Never Ending Always (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "What's Become of the Baby")

The final preparations for Pesach are underway. My wife pretends to be a Jewish slave woman in Egypt as she slaves away in the kitchen. I pretend to be a slave as well by doing whatever she tells me to do, pick up what needs to be picked up and shlep upstairs and downstairs whatever needs to be schlepped. Our kids help but they don’t exactly act as if they are as enslaved as me and my wife. My nieces and nephew along with their parents and one grandmother will be joining us for Pesach. Everyone is eager with anticipation. All the kids will show us everything they made and prepared for Pesach. As we begin the Seder and we are somewhere after the Four Questions but still in the midst of telling the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim(Exodus from Egypt), the great cloud of Irony will settle over us. Several of these children, these same children who will have been talking about Pesach, preparing for Pesach, and helping out their parents for Pesach, will pass out at the table or sit on the sofa and just fall asleep. Of course we will continue with the Seder and, one after another will just sort of fade off. All that will be left will be the adults.

In the Haggadah we read, B’chol Dor V’Dor Chayev Adam Lirot Et Atsmo K’Ilu Hoo Yatzah M’Mitzrayim-“In every generation on is obliged to see himself as though he himself had actually gone forth from Egypt. Implied in the Haggadah is the notion that “the Telling” of the Pesach story will be much more meaningful if we put ourselves there. As much as we complain about the Pesach preparations, the cleaning, the cooking, the washing, and the shopping; we prepare ourselves. In a sense we began the process of putting ourselves back in Egypt at the time of the Exodus over the past few weeks. This being the first day of the Pesach Festival, it is a Yom Tov. It is also Shabbat. The Torah reading is taken from Parshat Bo in which Moshe Rabeinu spells out the Pesach Festival, the preparations required, including the ridding of chametz, wiping the blood upon the doorposts, and the eating of Matzah. Moshe also explains to them that their children will ask questions about all of this V’Hayah Ki Yomru Aleichem Bneichem Ma Ha’Avodah Ha’Zot Lachem. and that they better have a thoughtful answer. V’Amartem Zevach Pesach Hu L’Adoshem Asher Pasach Al Batei Bnei Yisroel M’Mitzrayim BNagpo Et Mitzrayim v’Et Bateinu Hitzil - And you shall say: “ It is a Pesach Feast –Offering to Hashem, Who passed over the houses of the Children of Israel in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, but he saved our households”

Because this is the first day of Pesach, a Yom Tov as well as Shabbat it is fair to ask about the relationship between Pesach and Shabbat? While Shabbat may come 52 weeks a year and Pesach comes once a year, both are a celebration of freedom from slavery and freedom for a purpose. Both are mandated in the Torah, Shabbat being mentioned both in Exodus and Deuteronomy with the telling of the Ten Commandments as well as Parshah Ki Tissah, Breishit, Pinchas and several others. Pesach is mentioned in Bo, Bashallach, the book of Leviticus, as well as Deuteronomy. On Pesach we liberate ourselves physically from Pharaoh with the purpose of entering into a covenant relationship with God. Unlike physical liberation however, emotional and spiritual liberation is much more subtle and in some ways more difficult. Hence we have Shabbat. Shabbat offers a tool to liberate us emotionally and spiritually. No, Shabbat is not an escape from reality. We should recognize that the other six days we work, but on one day we are free from those responsibilities and, ideally, those anxieties. They will still be there after Shabbat. Pesach, and the telling of the Exodus, provides a very explicit and strong message regarding this notion of freedom. It is a message that is easily transmitted. It is transmitted in the preparation, it is transmitted in the food. It is transmitted at the Seder. The message is explicit it defines our national experience. This was and is an experience that all Jews share. Shabbat offers another means of sharing a similar experience. However the freedom that Shabbat offers is less nationalistic, and more spiritual. Shabbat probably needs to be experienced more than once in order to appreciate the subtle message and beauty. Not so with Pesach.

So we should imagine that we are back in Egypt at the time of the Exodus. Like Moshe experiences his own personal revelation at Sinai, so too did B’nai Yisroel experience its own personal revelation with each plague, and with each wonder. However the more Bnai Yisroel was invested, the more it had to do in terms of preparing for the plague (Makat Bechorot), the more activity their children saw them engage in like wiping blood upon the doorpost, then Bnai Yisroel would have more awe in Hashem, greater appreciation in Hashem as well as being aware of a revelation experience. Under such circumstances, falling asleep at the table would indeed be ironic.

Peace and Chag Kasher v’ Sameach

Rav Yitz