Going Where The Water Tastes Like Wine (arranged by Jerry Garcia - Going Down the Road Feeling Bad)

No matter how often we travel, we ought to be keenly aware that our arrival at our desired destination is indeed a miracle. When we arrive safely according to the schedule, we almost take it for granted. However, when things go wrong, and we still arrive safely, well, sometimes we can’t help but feel blessed. As I write this, it is dawn in Yerushalayim. The sun is rising, the birds are chirping, there is the noticeable quiet between intermittent early morning traffic. A city is waking up, Yerushalayim is waking up.  Because of the early dawn’s peacefulness, I take a deep breath and feel blessed to be spending some time here.  My family and I were supposed to be here, in Yerushalayim three days earlier. However, a flat tire, rolling thunder and lightning storms, and then the fact that the pilots shift was ending meant that our Thursday evening flight was cancelled until Friday afternoon at 12:30pm.  Because, we are Shomer Shabbat, the res-scheduled flight on Friday afternoon meant that we stayed in Toronto for Shabbat. Finally on Sunday evening we were air born and by Monday afternoon we were driving up the hills and entering Yerushalayim. It was sitting on the plane for four hours, and then waiting for another three and half while the airlines decided if and when the next flight would be that raised our frustration. Then as we trekked through the airport to get, our children in tow with their backpacks, quietly complaining about being hungry, thirsty, and tired, I looked at them and was actually quite proud at how they were handling all this.  When we finally arrived home on Friday morning at 2:45 am, our children were exhausted but I felt strangely rejuvenated. Our flights were successfully re-arranged, we were home, safe and sound, and not stranded at an airport. We only had to deal with some disappointment. Instead of hustling everyone to bed, I decided that we needed to begin getting over our disappointment, so I made omelettes and bagels and had a big meal. Then everyone went to bed with a full stomach.

This Shabbat we read from Parshat Chukkat. The Parsha receives its name from the Chok, (the statute) of the Red Heifer. The Kohen Gadol would take a completely Red Heifer, and offer it on behalf of the people as a form of national atonement. The Parsha then returns to the narrative of Bnai Yisroel’s wandering in the wilderness. Now it is 38 years later and the Torah shares the last year of Bnai Yisroel’s journey.  Miriam dies and the water dries up. God commands Moshe and Aharon to speak to the rock in order to draw more water for the people.  However after hearing more complaining, Moshe hits the rock out of frustration. As a result, neither one will be permitted entry into the Land of Israel. The people resume their journey and ask the Edomites if they can pass through Edomite territory. They are refused.  Aharon dies and his son Elazar takes up the mantle of the Priesthood. Bnai Yisroel resumes its journey and contends with the Canaanites. Eventually they win. However the people complain again about the lack of food and water. This time the people are punished. After the punishment concludes, the people begin their journey again only to do battle with Sihon, the king of the Amorites on the border of the Moabites. The Parsha ends with Bnai Yisroel on the plains of Moab ready to enter into Eretz Yisroel.

As the Torah shares with us mishap after mishap, obstacle after obstacle of their journey, we cannot help but be reminded that the journey is a test. When confronted with the lack of water the people complain Lamah Haveitem et Khal Hashem el Hamidbar HaZeh Lamut Sham Anachnu U’Vireinu – Why have you brought the congregation of Hashem to the wilderness to die there us and our animals (Num.20:4)? This complaint and similar complaints will be the ongoing complaint throughout the rest of the Parsha.  The people and their animals are suffering.  Inherent to the complaint is the fact that Bnai Yisroel has lumped itself together with its animals: Anachnu U’Vireinu – we and our animals. Although Bnai Yisroel does not realize it or is unable to see it; it is being tested as to its worthiness of covenant that God made with Avraham Yitzchak and Yaakov. With each trial and tribulation, Bnai Yisroel and its leadership must be able to find the blessings and sanctify God. However God supplies the answer to the test!  VaYidaber Hashem el Moshe Leimor. Kach et Hamateh, vHakheil et HaEidah, Atah v’Aharon Achicha, V’Dibartem el Haselah L’Eineihem V’natan Meimav V’Hoteita Lahem Mayim Min HaSelah Vhishkitah et HaEida vEt HaBiram. Hashem spoke to Moshe saying: take the staff and gather together the assembly, you and Aaron your brother, and speak to the rock before their eyes that it shall give its waters. You shall bring froth for them water from the rock and give drink to the assembly and to their animals (Num. 20:7-8). Even with the answer these tests must be difficult. Even Moshe and Aharon failed.  What is the answer? Within the instructions, God separates the people from their animals Et HaEida v’Et HaBiram – instead of Anachnu  v’Ireinu.  In God’s  command the Eidah and the Biram are two separate and distinct direct objects. In their complaint, Bnai Yisroel and the animals are part of same list. God saw Bnai Yisroel as his people, as a treasure. Bnai Yisroel saw itself as similar to animals because at that moment that was how they probable felt, like starving and thirsty animals. When we fail to make that distinction, we fail the taste much like Moshe and Aharon.

Our test, whether it is walking through airports at a very late hour burdened by luggage, or when our patience is waning, or when we feel that our lives are utterly miserable, is to be able to find the sanctity of the human spirit within our souls. That “human spirit” is not the animal within us. Rather the “human spirit” is really the divine spirit that God breathed into the soul of Adam.  Sometimes we can find that “divine spirit” with sanctifying God over a glass of water, or a meal or even watching a sunrise in Yerushalayim.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

On a Jet To The Promised Land (Chuck Berry- "The Promised Land")

Well, school is ending, summer vacation is just beginning and our children have been absolutely out of their minds during this past week. Are they excited? Absolutely. Can they concentrate on anything? Barely.  This has been particularly stressful as we, actually my wife, has planned a family trip to Israel in honor of our daughter’s Bat Mitzvah.  Because they are so excited to visit Israel, they have been talking about this for weeks. They have been packing for a week. The house has been literally turned upside down as they prepare to be there for a month. It has become such a big deal that they have been unable to focus on all things that need to be done on a day to day basis. Literally it feels as if we have been herding cats, no offence to cat herders. Sometimes, we have had to discipline each child individually. Sometimes we have had to discipline them as a group. They all understand that our ability to enjoy our time in Israel will be a direct function of their ability to listen, follow instructions, and be helpful; this will have to be a family effort. They understand that there will be times that if they don’t listen and if they don’t follow direction, and then our family won’t be able to do some of the things that Mommy planned.  Educationally, there is a value in communal punishment. First, communal punishment offers an opportunity for the group to come together. The group is bound by common experience. Second, the group has a common purpose or sense of mission. Third, the group understands that each member of the group has a role to play in order to insure the success of the group. However you might be thinking,  "Ha'Ish Echad Yechtah v'Al Kol Ha'Edah Tiktzof- shall one man's sin, and you be angry with the entire assembly?" (Num. 16:22). The answer is yes, there are times when communal punishment is most effective.  Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai explained this verse with the following analogy. "A man on a ship took a drill and began to drill a hole under his own seat. When his companion asked him 'Why are you doing this?' he replied, 'Why should it bother you? Am I not drilling only under my own seat?' His companions look at him incredulously:  'But the water will rise up and flood the ship for all of us!' (Leviticus Rabbah 4:6).

This week's Parsha is Korach. Korach was a relative of Moshe's. They both came from the tribe of Levi. Korach questioned Moshe's authority. He did not do this during a private meeting between individuals. Rather, Korach gathered 250 supporters, and then publicly challenged Moshe. Moshe tried to keep peace within the community, but to no avail. A divine test is administered, and Korach and his supporters fail. The earth swallows them up. However God is angry and a plague falls upon the people. They are communally punished for Korach's actions, their passive support, and their failure to bond together against Korach. God speaks to Aaron and binds Aaron's line even closer to the rest of the tribe of Levi, and Korach's family. In a sense, they now have greater reliance upon one another. "Also your brethren the tribe of Levi, the tribe of your father, shall you draw near with you, and they shall be joined to you….. (Num. 18:2-7).  The survival of the Priestly class, the survival of Levi, and its leadership depends upon its ability to keep its family together.

A community is a combination of symbiotic relationships. For B'nai Israel that symbiotic relationship was manifest in the role that each tribe played within the community. That symbiotic relationship was also manifest in Amcha's (the nation's) desire for God to dwell among it. If anything threatened God's dwelling among Amchah, then it must be removed. Two weeks ago the threat occurred when Miriam spoke Lashon Harah. She was quarantined from the camp. Last week it happened with the spies as well as the man who desecrated Shabbat. Here it happens with Korach, his staunch supporters, and those who remained silent.

There is an opinion that communal punishment is inherently unfair. It punishes the innocent. After all, Korach gathered only 250 followers. The rest of the community did not actively participate in Korach's rebellion. However, there is the Torah principle of Midah K'neged Midah, a measure for a measure. What did the "innocent" members of the community do to warrant a plague? Certainly after they witnessed Korach's humiliation and then death, the people were shocked. "You have killed the people of God!" (Num. 17:6). Is such an exclamation worthy of a plague? No. B'nai Yisroel's crime, was its lack of judgement. Yes, Korach was a demagogue of sorts. His crime was acting as a self-serving arrogant leader. For that, Korach took responsibility. He paid with his life. However B'nai Yisroel also bears some responsibility. B'nai Yisroel allowed itself to be led  by “false” leader. Again, they demonstrated a lack of faith. Last week they lacked faith by listening to 10 of the 12 spies. This week, they listen to Korach instead of demonstrating faith in Moshe, and, by extension, God.

What do we learn from Korach's rebellion, and the ensuing communal punishment? First, we learn that a community cannot be polarized and hope to survive. That was the reason Korach was punished in the first place. Second, we learn that a community and its leadership must share in a common vision. Third, there must be room for disagreements to take place. There must be room to ask questions. Questions must be asked, and disagreements must arise. However both must occur under the auspices of truth, and the acquisition of knowledge. Korach's demise demonstrates that questions and disagreements can never occur under false pretenses, arrogance, or in a self-serving manner.  I certainly hope that our children have learned the lesson about Korach before we get on the plane.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Got Two Good Eyes But We Still Don't See ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Casey Jones")

          As parents, our son experienced bullying and it raises a difficult lesson.  Certainly there is no excuse for bullying to occur in a school. Every child should be able to walk into a school building and feel safe.  However I am also a realist. There will always be bullies and I want all my children to have the tools to deal with bullies. Among the more difficult concepts for our son to grasp, in large part because he is only 8, falls in the realm of verbal bullying. We teach all of our children that one can only fall victim to verbal bullying if one actually pays attention to the verbal bullying and if the listener cares what is being said and who is saying it.  As a result, we spend a lot of time on self image and self respect with our children. For our son, this is not so easy. Since he is so physically oriented, like most boys his age, our son always feels bullied by kids who are physically larger and in fact the boys that tend to bully him are the bigger kids in the class. Of course when our son comes home from school, he laments that he is the shortest and smallest boy in the class. He laments that because of his small physical stature, he thinks he is a target. When he sits with us and does this it reminds me of how I felt exactly the same way when I was his age.  As parents we want to make the problem go away and ease his life. On the other hand, we know that he must learn how to fight his own battles if he ever hopes to grow up into a mentsch. As he complains about his stature I ask how he puts on his pants.  “One leg at a time”, he says. I ask if one leg must remain on the floor while he puts on his pants. Astutely, he responds, “yes”. I ask him if the big kid who bully’s him needs to keep a foot on the ground while he puts on his pants. Again, our wise son responds with “yes”.  I ask him to look in the mirror and describe what he sees.  Interestingly enough, the first words out of his mouth are not “short” or “weak”.  Those negative words come later. 

            This week’s torah portion is Parsha Shelach Lecha. The Torah portion begins with the narrative of Moshe gathering up twelve spies, one corresponding to each of the twelve tribes, and giving them the mission. The spies are told to investigate the quality of the land – fertile or barren, its inhabitants - warlike or peaceful, the nature of cities –fortified or open? The spies go and investigate and return. Ten spies offer a negative report and two, Caleb and Joshua, offer a positive report. Bnai Yisroel listen to the ten spies with the negative report and fell utterly overwhelmed at the prospect of entering into the land that Hashem promised them.  Hysterical, the people beg to return to Egypt. Hashem wants to wipe them all out immediately but Moshe defends the people just like he did after the Golden Calf. So rather than wiping out an entire people Hashem punishes Bnai Yisroel by prohibiting this generation from entering into the land. Eventually, when the slave generation has died out, the generations born in freedom will enter Eretz Canaan.  The people hear the punishment and decide they are ready to enter the land. Moshe explains that it is too late since entry into Canaan is ultimately premised upon faith.  Then Moshe begin teaching Bnai Yisroel laws specific and premised upon settlement in the Canaan.  First Moshe teaches the Libation Offering as well as Challah. Next, Moshe teaches the laws of public atonement of unintentional idolatry, individual unintentional idolatry, intentional idolatry, a reminder about violating Shabbat and finally the laws of Tzitzit. 

            The ten spies whom Bnai Yisroel chose to believe did not really bring such a negative report. They explained that the land was fruitful and fertile, there were trees and that it was really quite beautiful.  The problem with the report was that it revealed more about the spies and Bnai Yisroel than the land itself. When seeing some of the inhabitants and the physical size of some of those inhabitants.  The Ten spies said Vanhi V’Eineinu Ka’CHaGaVim V’Chain Hayinu B’Eineihem – we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes. (Num. 13:33) How do the ten spies know how the Nefilim (the Giants) perceive them? Did they ask the Nefilim? The answer to both questions is “No”. No they don’t know how the Nefilim perceive the Ten Spies and “No”, the Ten Spies did not ask the Nefilim. The spies feel small because from their own perspective and self image, they are small. When they look in a mirror, they see slaves. They don’t see people who stood at Sinai and received the Torah. They don’t see a people who carry a Mishkan with Hashem protecting them and scattering their enemies. They don’t see a people worthy of Hashem’s daily miracles of Manna, and water.  Instead they carry with them the burden of two centuries of slavery and being slightly less than human rather than being slightly less than angels.  Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk  (The Kotzker Rebbe ) explained that this was the root of the spies as well as Bnai Yisroel’s sin. They had no right to consider how others viewed them, nor should they have been at all concerned.  They should have all been spiritually strong enough to realize and accept that they were “priests to the nations” and “chosen by God”. The fact that such spiritual awareness was still lacking even after all the miracles and promises that God made; meant that problem lay with Bnai Yisroel. These former slaves were not ready for the responsibility of land and people hood.

            As our son has grown both physical and spiritually this year, he has started to learn the valuable lesson that the generation of slaves could not learn in the Wilderness.  He realizes that the first thing he sees in the mirror is not something small and insignificant.  Yes he is short, now he realizes that at his age, it does not exclude him from being competitive.  Yes he's slight, but he looks at pictures of his father at the same age and sees himself.  He has started to understand that he needn’t worry about what bullies say since the comments have no bearing on his reality and his self image. Rather he should worry about what he can control, his schoolwork, his progress in Karate, baseball, his reading,  piano playing, and growing up to be a mentsch.  As a result, he has started to learn that the first step in dealing with bullying is dealing with oneself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Dear Old Daddy, Rest His Soul, Left My Mom A Heavy Load ( Merle Haggard - "Mama Tried")

During the last drive we took to the United States, before we put the DVD’s into the DVD player, my wife and I tried to explain what family car rides were like when we were kids. We told them that there were no such things as DVD’s. They were shocked. I explained that I remember how excited I was when I was about 14 or 15 and the car actually had a cassette player. Of course they wanted to know “what’s a cassette player”. I explained that before we even had a cassette player we either listened to the radio or listened to their grandfather sing. Sometimes we would play various games or actually have a conversation. Our children were overwhelmed. They wondered how we drove anywhere. They wondered if we were bored to death. That little bit of reminiscing usually gives them enough perspective to limit the complaining. However when the complaining begins, I simply suggest that we turn off the DVD player and I turn on the music that I like. They quickly stop complaining. When we are home and the complaining gets to be so overwhelming, and I feel like I am about to becoming extremely frustrated with them, I yell “I quit”,  I go outside. I take a walk. Of course I begin thinking about how many more years until our 12 year old, our 10 year old and our 8 year old are out of the house. Realizing I will be 57 in ten years; I wonder to myself if I can survive that long. Then I walk back in the house and ignore the complaining.

This Shabbat we read Parshat Behalotcha. For the previous two Parshiot, Bemidbar and Naso, Bnai Yisroel has counted and prepared for their journey from Sinai to Eretz Canaan. This week, the final preparations are ordered and executed and the departure from Sinai begins. Aaron, Moshe’s brother and the Kohen Gadol, lights the lamp for the Mishkan, the entire Levite tribe is purified, offerings made and their service for maintenance of the Mishkan begins. Final instructions for observing Pesach under these new conditions, (they were not leaving Egypt anymore nor had they arrived in the land) were offered, including the case of coming into contact with the deceased and becoming spiritually impure. The narrative tells us the manner in which Bnai Yisroel traveled: sheltered by a cloud during the day, and protected by a pillar of fire at night. Then with the all too familiar statement V’Yehi Binsoa Ha’Aron Va’Yomer Moshe Kumah Adoshem V’Yafutzu Oyvecha V’Yanusu M’Sanecha Mipanecha – When the Ark would journey, Moshe said, “Arise, Hashem, and let your foes be scattered, let those who hate You flee from before you” (Num. 10:35); Moshe, Bnai Yisroel and the Ark of the Covenant began their journey towards Eretz Canaan.

Like our own children at the start of our family trip, Bnai Yisroel acts in a similar fashion. Just like our children begin the universal complains of “Are we there yet,” I’m hungry”, “When are we going to get there!” the children of Israel begin complaining and whining as well.  Bnai Yisroel complains that they are hungry (they want meat). Bnai Yisroel complains about everything, but mostly they complained, according to the Commentators, about the travail of the road. Just like we grow impatient with our children upon hearing complaint after complaint, Moshe Rabeinu and even God became impatient with Bnai Yisroel. In fact Moshe became so impatient and upset that he asks God to resign from the position. Lo Uchal Anochi L’Vai LaSeit Et Kol Ha’Am HaZeh Ki Kaved Mimeni – I alone cannot carry this entire nation, for it is too heavy for me! V’Im Kacha At Oseh Li HarGeini Na Harog  -And if this is how You deal with me, then kill me now (Num. 11:14-15). Clearly Bnai Yisroel’s incessant complaining has affected Moshe Rabeinu’s ability to his job. Rav Ovadia Sforno, the great Italian Renaissance Rabbi and Torah commentator explains the depth of Moshe’s despair for Bnai Yisroel. With children there is a basic trust that the child has in the parent. There is a fundamental love that the parent has for the child. There is an assumption that the parent, based on his/her judgment, does what is best for the child. Sforno continues to explain that in the case of Moshe and Bnai Yisroel, Moshe does not enjoy any such trust from Bnai Yisroel. Rather Bnai Yisroel was constantly testing Moshe to see if he had any love for them. One can well imagine, that after a while, Moshe, like any person, will begin to fail these “test” and grow weary, fed up and eventually want to quit.

The same holds true for us in our jobs, our careers, our homes as well as our obligations towards God. Whether we are incessantly complaining or listening to incessant complaining, at some point it saps our energy, our strength and our desire to fulfill the myriad of tasks and obligations we need to fulfill as husbands, wives, parents, and children. Perhaps in adjusting our attitude and perspective our lives become greatly enhanced with the possibility of greater holiness and meaning.

Peace,

Rav Yitz