All The Things I Planned To Do, I Only Did Half Way (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Mission In The Rain")

          I guess summer vacation is rapidly drawing to a conclusion. Our teenagers have all returned home. One returned from her summer as a camp counselor, one returned from camp as a camper, and one returned from her summer in Israel. Each of them had a terrific time, with meaningful experiences and a powerful desire to return next summer. As we sat down to have our first family dinner together in about 8 weeks; I asked each of them their summer experience met their expectations. I asked them if there was anything they felt that they missed out on. I asked if there was anything they wished they could have done differently in order to achieve a better result. Each wondered aloud what was wrong with me that I was curious about their judgments, their self-evaluation once this reflective process was completed. I looked at each of our teenagers and reminded them that the only way to determine if an experience was good or bad, worth doing or not, is to be a bit self-reflective, wonder if it met expectations. Then I reminded them that most of all it is important to make sure that expectations are realistic, that the pre-conceived pictures are based upon reality or fantasy, achievable or unreachable.

This week’s Parsha is Shoftim. Moshe has completed his lecture on the values of monotheism and covenant. Now he begins telling B'nai Yisroel all the nitty-gritty details of living a Jewish life within this community. What a downer! B’nai Yisroel is inspired and ready to enter into Eretz Canaan and begin living the life in the land that God had promised their ancestors. They are now ready to begin fulfilling the dream that allowed them to survive centuries of slavery. So what does Moshe Rabbeinu do? He brings them crashing back to reality. Now they will listen and understand laws concerning war, punishments for idolatry, choosing a king, jurisprudence, priestly entitlements and unsolved murders. Moshe gives B’nai Yisroel a healthy dose of reality by supplying all the details required to uphold the Covenant.

            One of these laws is rather curious yet serves as a reminder of how important it is to maintain a balance between dreams and reality, between the idealism of our youth and the cynicism of age. V’Hayah Ch’shivto Al Kisei Mamlachto V’Chatav Lo Et Mishnei HaTorah Hazot – And it shall be when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah in a book… V’Haitah Imo V’Kara Vo Kol Yemei Chayav Lema’an Yilmad L’yirah et Adonai Elohav – It shall be with him and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear the Lord his God, Lishmor et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot V’Et HaChukim Ha’Eilah La’Asotam – to observe all the words of this Torah and these decrees, to perform them, so that his heart does not become haughty over his brethren and not turn from the commandment right or left, so that he will prolong years over his kingdom, he and his sons amid Israel (Deut. 18:18-20). The king must write and maintain two Sifrei Torah. The “personal” Torah must be carried with him wherever he goes: meetings, wars, benefit dinners etc. The Torah must always remain physically near his heart. However, the second Sefer Torah sits in the treasure room as a pristine copy, as a benchmark. This “benchmark” Torah remains enclosed, protected, and untouched. The king may consult it, but this pristine copy never leaves the sanctuary. How brilliant! The “personal” Torah that is carried around eventually becomes worn, the letters fade, and the parchment may even tear. This would most likely occur unbeknownst to the king. Yearly, the king must lay his “personal” Torah besides the “benchmark” Torah. There, in the inner chamber, the two Torahs are checked against each other. Then if there are any discrepancies in the “Personal” Torah, the king must make the necessary corrections. The king’s “personal” Torah must reflect the purest and highest standard. Through daily wear and tear, through the compromises necessary to manage a kingdom, the king must regularly check to make sure that he has not gradually drifted away from the “Pristine” or “Benchmark” Torah.

            This is the ultimate form of personal “Checks and Balances”! Instead of waking up one morning twenty or twenty-five years later wondering “What’s become of me”; Judaism understands that we all make compromises. Sometimes we may even, unfortunately, compromise our integrity our values and our own sense of propriety. Sometimes our drift from the ideal is not even that pernicious. Sometimes we just slow down or get sidetracked. However, Judaism is about behavior that expresses our relationship with each other and with God. Like a king that needs to periodically check his “personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”, we also must check our “Personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”. Certainly, the process may be uncomfortable, and yes, there is the danger of becoming so self-absorbed that we become paralyzed. The process occurs on a regular enough basis that we don’t become too paralyzed that we can’t function. However, what is so empowering is that this “personal Torah” is not confined to the King. In this regard, we are all kings, we are all royalty. We are all better off making sure that our “personal Torah”, the one we carry with us wherever we go matches up with Torah, the Torah that we learn from, the Torah that we read upon Shabbat and Holidays.  As I remind my teenagers regarding this self- reflective exercise; this is one of the ways that a teenager becomes an adult and one of the ways a parent learns to trust a teenager.

Peace

Rav Yitz

All The Years Combine, They Melt Into A Dream, A Broken Angel Sings (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Stella Blue")

Well Labour Day came and went and with it so did my birthday. Yep another year gone. More gray hair added. I have never been a big fan of birthdays. I always like to spend them quietly. While some in my family prefer some extraordinary family activity or party, I prefer a round of golf, sitting by a swimming pool reading a book while my kids swim and then grilling some steaks and eating dinner outside with my wife and children. Usually during golf while I am admiring the scenic beauty, or while I watch my children playing in the pool, or while I am grilling dinner; I have an opportunity for a bit of self-reflection. I think about successes and failures, I think about what my plans were after college and where I am in terms of those plans. Have I realized any of my goals? Am I on course, off course? With the right trajectory? Thirty years later, have I accomplished anything? On one level, the self- reflection exercise can be pretty brutal. There are times I feel like a complete failure save for my family.  There when I seriously wonder if I measure up to the standards that I set for myself way back when. For a moment this self- reflection on my Birthday can be really quite depressing. Sometimes there is a moment of contentment. Not only is this normal, but it is very healthy to examine the ideal of a person’s life, with the reality of that life.

            This week’s Parsha is Shoftim. Moshe has completed his lecture on the values of monotheism and covenant. Now he begins telling B'nai Yisroel all the nitty gritty details of living a Jewish life within this community. What a downer! B’nai Yisroel is inspired and ready to enter into Eretz Canaan and begin living the life in the land that God had promised their ancestors. They are now ready to begin fulfilling the dream that allowed them to survive centuries of slavery. So what does Moshe Rabeinu do? He brings them crashing back to reality. Now they will listen and understand laws concerning war, punishments for idolatry, choosing a king, jurisprudence, priestly entitlements and unsolved murders. Moshe gives B’nai Yisroel a healthy dose of reality by supplying all the details required to uphold the Covenant.

            One of these laws is rather curious yet serves as a reminder how important it is to maintain a balance between dreams and reality, between the idealism of our youth and the cynicism of age. V’Hayah Ch’shivto Al Kisei Mamlachto V’Chatav Lo Et Mishnei HaTorah Hazot – And it shall be when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah in a book… V’Haitah Imo V’Kara Vo Kol Yemei Chayav Lema’an Yilmad L’yirah et Adonai Elohav – It shall be with him and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear the Lord his God, Lishmor et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot V’Et HaChukim Ha’Eilah La’Asotam – to observe all the words of this Torah and these decrees, to perform them, so that his heart does not become haughty over his brethren and not turn from the commandment right or left, so that he will prolong years over his kingdom, he and his sons amid Israel (Deut. 18:18-20). The king must write and maintain two Sifrei Torah. The “personal” Torah must be carried with him wherever he goes: meetings, wars, benefit dinners etc. The Torah must always remain physically near his heart. However the second Sefer Torah sits in the treasure room as a pristine copy, as a benchmark. This “benchmark” Torah remains enclosed, protected, and untouched. The king may consult it, but this pristine copy never leaves the sanctuary. How brilliant! The “personal” Torah that is carried around eventually becomes worn, the letters fade, and the parchment may even tear. This would most likely occur unbeknownst to the king. Yearly, the king must lay his “personal” Torah beside the “benchmark” Torah. There, in the inner chamber, the two Torahs are checked against each other. Then if there are any discrepancies in the “Personal” Torah, the king must make the necessary corrections. The king’s “personal” Torah must reflect the purest and highest standard. Through daily wear and tear, through the compromises necessary to manage a kingdom, the king must regularly check to make sure that he has not gradually drifted away from the “Pristine” or “Benchmark” Torah.

            This is the ultimate form of personal “Checks and Balances”! Instead of waking up one morning twenty or twenty five years later wondering “What’s become of me”; Judaism understands that we all make compromises. Sometimes we may even, unfortunately, compromise our integrity our values and our own sense of propriety. Sometimes our drift from the ideal is not even that pernicious. Sometimes we just slowdown or get sidetracked. However Judaism is about behavior that expresses our relationship with each other and with God. Like a king that needs to periodically check his “personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”, we also must check our “Personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”. Certainly the process may be uncomfortable, and yes, there is the danger of becoming so self-absorbed that we become paralyzed from action. There is the very real danger that we can be hard on ourselves that we lose sight of the good. Thankfully, the process occurs on a regular enough basis that we don’t become too  paralyzed that we can’t enjoy a round of golf, watching the kids swim, eating a steak dinner with the family and appreciating the quiet blessings of another birthday.

Peace

Rav Yitz

On a Jet To The Promised Land (Chuck Berry- "The Promised Land")

Well, school is ending, summer vacation is just beginning and our children have been absolutely out of their minds during this past week. Are they excited? Absolutely. Can they concentrate on anything? Barely.  This has been particularly stressful as we, actually my wife, has planned a family trip to Israel in honor of our daughter’s Bat Mitzvah.  Because they are so excited to visit Israel, they have been talking about this for weeks. They have been packing for a week. The house has been literally turned upside down as they prepare to be there for a month. It has become such a big deal that they have been unable to focus on all things that need to be done on a day to day basis. Literally it feels as if we have been herding cats, no offence to cat herders. Sometimes, we have had to discipline each child individually. Sometimes we have had to discipline them as a group. They all understand that our ability to enjoy our time in Israel will be a direct function of their ability to listen, follow instructions, and be helpful; this will have to be a family effort. They understand that there will be times that if they don’t listen and if they don’t follow direction, and then our family won’t be able to do some of the things that Mommy planned.  Educationally, there is a value in communal punishment. First, communal punishment offers an opportunity for the group to come together. The group is bound by common experience. Second, the group has a common purpose or sense of mission. Third, the group understands that each member of the group has a role to play in order to insure the success of the group. However you might be thinking,  "Ha'Ish Echad Yechtah v'Al Kol Ha'Edah Tiktzof- shall one man's sin, and you be angry with the entire assembly?" (Num. 16:22). The answer is yes, there are times when communal punishment is most effective.  Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai explained this verse with the following analogy. "A man on a ship took a drill and began to drill a hole under his own seat. When his companion asked him 'Why are you doing this?' he replied, 'Why should it bother you? Am I not drilling only under my own seat?' His companions look at him incredulously:  'But the water will rise up and flood the ship for all of us!' (Leviticus Rabbah 4:6).

This week's Parsha is Korach. Korach was a relative of Moshe's. They both came from the tribe of Levi. Korach questioned Moshe's authority. He did not do this during a private meeting between individuals. Rather, Korach gathered 250 supporters, and then publicly challenged Moshe. Moshe tried to keep peace within the community, but to no avail. A divine test is administered, and Korach and his supporters fail. The earth swallows them up. However God is angry and a plague falls upon the people. They are communally punished for Korach's actions, their passive support, and their failure to bond together against Korach. God speaks to Aaron and binds Aaron's line even closer to the rest of the tribe of Levi, and Korach's family. In a sense, they now have greater reliance upon one another. "Also your brethren the tribe of Levi, the tribe of your father, shall you draw near with you, and they shall be joined to you….. (Num. 18:2-7).  The survival of the Priestly class, the survival of Levi, and its leadership depends upon its ability to keep its family together.

A community is a combination of symbiotic relationships. For B'nai Israel that symbiotic relationship was manifest in the role that each tribe played within the community. That symbiotic relationship was also manifest in Amcha's (the nation's) desire for God to dwell among it. If anything threatened God's dwelling among Amchah, then it must be removed. Two weeks ago the threat occurred when Miriam spoke Lashon Harah. She was quarantined from the camp. Last week it happened with the spies as well as the man who desecrated Shabbat. Here it happens with Korach, his staunch supporters, and those who remained silent.

There is an opinion that communal punishment is inherently unfair. It punishes the innocent. After all, Korach gathered only 250 followers. The rest of the community did not actively participate in Korach's rebellion. However, there is the Torah principle of Midah K'neged Midah, a measure for a measure. What did the "innocent" members of the community do to warrant a plague? Certainly after they witnessed Korach's humiliation and then death, the people were shocked. "You have killed the people of God!" (Num. 17:6). Is such an exclamation worthy of a plague? No. B'nai Yisroel's crime, was its lack of judgement. Yes, Korach was a demagogue of sorts. His crime was acting as a self-serving arrogant leader. For that, Korach took responsibility. He paid with his life. However B'nai Yisroel also bears some responsibility. B'nai Yisroel allowed itself to be led  by “false” leader. Again, they demonstrated a lack of faith. Last week they lacked faith by listening to 10 of the 12 spies. This week, they listen to Korach instead of demonstrating faith in Moshe, and, by extension, God.

What do we learn from Korach's rebellion, and the ensuing communal punishment? First, we learn that a community cannot be polarized and hope to survive. That was the reason Korach was punished in the first place. Second, we learn that a community and its leadership must share in a common vision. Third, there must be room for disagreements to take place. There must be room to ask questions. Questions must be asked, and disagreements must arise. However both must occur under the auspices of truth, and the acquisition of knowledge. Korach's demise demonstrates that questions and disagreements can never occur under false pretenses, arrogance, or in a self-serving manner.  I certainly hope that our children have learned the lesson about Korach before we get on the plane.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Wonder Who Will Water All The Children Of The Garden ( Hunter, Garcia, Lesh - St. Stephen)

This has been quite an eventful week in our home. Our 11 year old daughter just returned from camp. When I met her at the bus the look on her face suggested two over arching ideas. First, “I am very tired because I was up late with my friends crying on the last night of camp”. Second, “While I have physically returned home, I don’t want to be here. I want to be back in camp. I will need some time to adjust to reentry to the home and the family.” So my wife and I have been very respectful of granting our daughter “space for re-entry”. We both acknowledge that we want this and most transitions to go smoothly. We understand that while we want to spend time with her, hug her and do all the things that 11year olds find annoying in their parents; we also realize that we are constantly aware that the way we deal with today can, to some extent, impact upon tomorrow.

Needless to say, as Shabbat approaches I am particularly excited to have our 11 year old home so I give her a bracha without any distance between us. On Erev Shabbat, before we begin Friday night Shabbat dinner, we perform several rituals including blessings over the candles, wine and challah. However the most meaningful and powerful Erev Shabbat ritual occurs when I bless my children. When I bless my four children and look into their eyes, I am overwhelmed with the sense of being a link in the chain of our people. Not only do I bless them by invoking our patriarchs and matriarchs and hope that God’s benevolence shines upon them. I also invoke thousands of years of learning, thousands of years of Halacha, thousands of years of a holy covenant and relationship to God. When I bless I am praying that they will know how precious this moment is, how beautiful Shabbat is, and how meaningful life is when it includes God, Torah and Mitzvot. When I bless my children, I pray that my children will yearn to pass down Mitzvot, learning, a sense of holiness, and the words of Torah to their children. It is at this moment I feel linked to my ancestors; it is at this moment I feel linked to our tradition, and to God, stretching all the way back across the millennia.

This week we begin the final book of the Torah, Sefer Devarim, with Parsha Devarim. Traditionally known as Mishnah Torah – or the repetition of the Torah, Parsha Devarim is the introductory Parsha to Moshe’s formal teaching of the Torah to this new generation. Moshe Rabeinu, now only a few weeks from the moment of his death, imparts his teaching and his wisdom upon B’nai Yisroel like a dying grandparent or parent would to his/her children. Eilah HaDevarim Asher Diber Moshe El Bnai Yisroel B’Eiver Yarden-These are the words that Moshe Spoke to all Israel, on the other side of the Jordan…(Deut. 1:1) Moshe's teaching and Moshe’s repetition of the Torah embodies tradition. Moshe’s teaching and his repetition of the Torah, exemplifies every parent’s responsibility to strengthen the child’s connection to Judaism, to Torah, and to God.

How do we as parents, and grandparents, teachers, and clergy, friends and neighbors, pass this tradition to the next generation? First and foremost we must start with ourselves. We should be grounded in our belief system and understand the role of Judaism in our lives. Judaism must be relevant to our own lives. Torah is not just a book but rather a code that allows us to engage in a meaningful relationship to God. The purpose of observing Torah and Mitzvot is to live a life of greater sanctification, a life based upon adding holiness to the mundane as opposed to diminishing holiness from the mundane. While there have been or will be times when we struggle in our relationship with God; we can find comfort in a tradition that reminds us that we are the great great great great… grandchildren of those men and women who stood at Sinai and saw and heard God speak to them.

Once we have worked on ourselves, once we have struggled with and accepted the primordial, and even primitive importance of maintaining our Jewish identity, of observing and learning we can begin passing this sense of importance to our children. Once we have accepted that in the very core of our souls, the place where we define ourselves as human and humane, that that sense of human-ness, and sense of humanity is Jewish, then we can pass Eilah Hadevarim, these words to our children. Once we have accepted that the only legacy we leave on this earth after we die is our children and our ideas, and then we are ready to pass Eilah Hadevarim, these words to our children, our legacy. Even if we have not accepted any of these things, even if we are still struggling, even if we honestly believe that this is all childish stuff, we must still pass down Eilah Hadevarim at least for one reason. Everything else that we leave for our children, our grandchildren and our community is finite. Money runs out always needing replenishment. Resources are finite and eventually need replenishment. Only Judaism, like God is infinite. The more it is used the more there is. More learning leads to more observance. More observance leads to more Tzeddakah. More tzeddakah improves the lives of those less unfortunate. The better off the unfortunate will lead to a kinder and gentler community. The kinder and gentler the community, the holier the world has become.

We teach and pass down Eilah Hadevarim, these words, by doing these words. We teach by speaking, we teach by doing. We teach by acknowledging that our children will model our behavior. On this Shabbat, the Shabbat before Tisha B’Av, the Shabbat prior to our commemoration of the destruction of the Holy Temple as well as numerous other tragedies, let us re-affirm that our ability to survive is a direct result of our ability to pass Eilah Hadevarim, these words to our children. As I bless my daughter for the first time in five weeks, I am reminded of just how sacred Eilah HaDevarim, These words are. As I bless my daughter for the first time in five weeks I pray she passes These Words to her children when they return home from summer camp.

Peace,

Rav Yitz