Monday, October 7, 2013

So Many Roads I Know All I Want Is One To Take Me Home (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "So Many Roads)



          Our nine year old son has been a source of aggravation over the past week.  Granted, our son had his first full week of school last week. With the Holidays behind us, he was rudely reminded that school involves five days a week, homework, studying, and taking tests.  This week, our son had a test that encompassed a lot of material.  In his mind, “homework” and “test preparation” are two very separate and distinct concepts. As a result, when his mother asks, “did you finish your homework?” His response will be based only upon the actual task assigned for that particular day. He still has no understanding that homework assignment may be due in two or three days but it is still considered homework.  Unfortunately, he still gets surprised when he arrives in school slightly less than prepared for a quiz or a small test due to his lack of studying.  So the other day, I asked if he completed his homework. “Yes” he said. I reminded him “homework” includes “studying for test”.  He hemmed, he hawed, he rolled his eyes, and he whined “But Abba…” I cut him off quickly and sarcastically. I told him that I already finished fourth grade so I do not need to study for his test or take his test. I explained that when I inquire about his preparing for a test it is not for me but for him.
This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Avram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. He and his nephew decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of travelling.
The Parsha begins with a rather odd use of phrase.  Normally when we read the words VaYomer Adoshem – “And Hashem Said”, we expect a simple declarative statement to follow. If an instruction is about to be issued, we would expect a verb in the “second person” to appear without a preposition. For example, last week we began a new Hebrew Month, Cheshvan. The Torah reading for “Rosh Chodesh” (the new month) begins: Vayidaber  Adoshem El Moshe LeimorHashem Spoke to Moshe saying: Tzav et Bnai Yisroel  - “Command the Children of Yisroel…” There is no preposition following the verb directed at Moshe. However in the case of Avram, when Hashem gives this specific instruction we notice the preposition “Lecha”: VaYomer Adoshem El Avram: Lech Lecha -Hashem said to Avram: GoLecha” (for yourself) MeiArtzecha U’Mimoladetecha U’MiBeit Avicha El Ha’Aretz Asher ArekaFrom you r land, from your relatives, and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you (Gen.12:1).  God tells Avram to do something, and implicit to the instruction is a reminder for whom is Avram to go? Is Avram supposed to go for God or his father? No, Avram goes “Lecha” (for himself). Rashi, the great 11th century French commentator  clarifies this particularly odd use of the prepositional phrase Lech Lecha – go for yourself: “LHanatcha U’LTovtecha For your benefit and your own good”. Telling Avram to go is not for God’s benefit but for Avram’s benefit. Telling to Avram to “go” is not for God’s own good but for Avram’s own good.  Avram is supposed to do this because it is for his benefit.
Our son will worry about the grade on his test. If he comes home with a good mark he will be excited. If he comes home with a mediocre or bad mark he will be upset.  However as parents, we couldn’t care less about the grade he earns on this test. More importantly we will reiterate that the object is to study and prepare in order to do well for himself, so that he will feel good about himself, so that he understands the link between his effort and his achievement for himself, not for me.
Peace,
Rav Yitz

No comments:

Post a Comment