A
few weeks ago, our eldest daughter moved to Iowa. Our younger children, who are
still learning to locate all fifty states on a map (living in Toronto for the
past 5 years, they are able to locate all the Canadian provinces on a map);
know that it is somewhere in the middle of the United States, in the flat part
of the country. Iowa is a place with
lots of corn, lots of pigs and I think it provided the setting for the musical “The
Music Man”. For many Americans, Iowa is
generally FOS - “Fly Over State” three out of four years. However, in the
fourth year Iowa becomes a political center for Presidential candidates. For
our daughter, working for the former First Lady and former Secretary of State
is the specific reason for her move to Iowa. As Parents, we worry about our
children, not just one in Iowa. We worry about their choices, we worry the
lessons we thought we were teaching become misinterpreted. We worry about the type of adults they may or
may not become. As Jewish parents we worry about their Jewish lives, their
Jewish choices, and relationships. As parents we foolishly and naively think we
have more control when they are younger and living in our house and living by
our rules. Of course, in reality we have very little control, we just fool ourselves.
However with a child in Iowa, well, we don’t even have the convenience of lying
to ourselves. Rather we talk our eldest daughter. (Sometimes, I think we talk
just to make me feel better and less worried). However I remind her to always remember
who she is. No she doesn’t need to remember that she is a Rabbi’s daughter.
That doesn’t matter to me. No, I don’t need to remind her that she is Jewish.
She knows that. No, I remind her, like I remind all my kids before they go out,
to keep in mind who she is, how she was raised and the type of values that we
instilled in her. Like all of our kids, we remind them to avoid going along
with the crowd. We remind them to be a mentsche even when people around are
being a little less than mentschlekite, less than ethical and a little less
than kind and decent.
This
Shabbat we read from Parsha Emor. In the four chapters that comprise Emor, the
first deals with the Kohanim and their very different way of striving for
holiness as compared to the rest of the nation. For example, because of the
Kohen’s function within society, he must remain in a perpetual state of purity.
He is restricted in terms of who he can marry. He is restricted in terms of for
whom he mourns. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial
offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second chapter reminds B’nai
Yisroel that all animal offerings must be blemish free. These offerings must
come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger”
(Lev.22:25). Both chapters deal with the holiness of certain people, the Kohen
and his family, and certain animals, those designated for sacrificial offering.
The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the designation of holiness in
regards to seasons and the calendar.including: Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot,
Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The fourth chapter offers a narrative in
which the son of an Israelite woman and Egyptian man, and another Israelite man
get into a fight. The son pronounced the forbidden name of God and was charged
with blasphemy. The Torah tells us the punishment for blasphemy is death. This
is the same punishment for an individual who commits murder.
As
the Torah upon Holiness and perhaps even Perfection, we learn that striving for
Holiness and striving for Perfection requires creating a distinct separation
from the mundane, the ordinary, and the less than perfect. The Torah reminds
the Kohen, “Lo Yikrechu Korcha B’Rosham
U’Fa’at Z’Kanam Lo Y’Galeichu UVivsaram Lo Yisr’tu Saratet- They shall not make a bald spot on their
heads, and they shall not shave an edge of their beard; and in their flesh they
shall not cut a gash (Lev21:5). Rashi explains that certain tribes that
lived in Biblical Canaan, as well as Ancient Egyptians would engage in these
types of behaviors while mourning the death of a loved one. Literally the Torah
reminds the Priestly class to be sure and NOT behave like other people, don’t
mourn like other people, don’t worship like other people, don’t behave like
these ancient tribes of idolaters. The Chatam Sofer, one of the great 19th
century Central European Rabbis, explained that the verse has a homilietical
meaning as well. The Torah reminds us not to create a bald spot upon our head,
we don’t create an emptiness on our head. The Chatam Sofer understand the
emptiness as ignorance, a lack of learning. The head should be filled with
Torah, with mitzvoth, with doing good things in the world, and making sound,
intelligent choices. Sometimes that requires the person to be just a bit
separate, distinct and apart from those who create an emptiness in their own
respective heads.
Certainly
Judaism is difficult. Climbing the ladder of holiness requires effort and
desire. Climbing this ladder will affect and even change our lives. It affects
what we eat, it affects how we relate to our mates, it affects our treatment of
others, it affects how we look at time and space, it affects our relationship
to God, and how we relate to ourselves. If Judaism, the sanctification of the
self, and the sanctification of God were easy, then neither could we appreciate
it, nor commit to it. We strive to fill our heads knowledge, with Torah. We
avoid creating “empty spaces”, bald spot, in our heads, knowing that what our
heads are filled with or not, will be expressed in our behavior, our attitudes
our relationship with our loved ones and with God. So our daughter lives in
Iowa. The more we speak with her, the more re-assured we are that she hasn’t
created an emptiness in her head, but rather has kept it filled and continues
to fill it with wisdom, knowledge and mentschelekite.
Peace
Rav Yitz
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