Chanukah conveniently coincided with the Christmas and
New Years holiday this year. Lights were lit both in the Jewish and Christian
world at the same time. It also turned out that our children had off for all of
Chanukah. We decided to spend it visiting family and friends in the New York
Metropolitan area. Normally we drive. Normally we spend the night at the
grandparents in Rochester, and then leave first thing the next morning. This
time the plans were different. Our son was sick so we delayed our departure by
a day. Then on the morning we were going to leave, the roads and iced over and
we had to wait for the weather to turn a bit warmer, which it did. The problem
was that ice was forecast on the very route that we were taking to New York. However,
as the day would progress, the temperatures were supposed to rise. I watched
the weather, studied the forecast, loaded the car and family and began our
drive. The weather was fine until we arrived at the grandparents. We spend
about an hour there, ate a late lunch. I looked at the weather forecast again.
One route which was a bit longer, safer, with more rest stops, was expecting
cold temperatures and ice. The alternative route which was less lit, through
the mountains with fewer stops was expecting warmer temperatures and rain
instead of ice. So as I drove, and heard
one last forecast, I opted for the the mountain route through Pennsylvania and
New Jersey. The weather was cold, damp, and remained between 33-38 Fahrenheit
the whole drive. As the temperature
inched lower and grew more nervous, more concerned about skidding as I crossed
mountain over passes, more concerned as trucks were slowing down mountain
descents, and more concerned about having to suddenly stop. Needless to say it
was far from a relaxing drive. At one
point our daughter who is taking driving lesson, commented that she didn’t
recall me ever appearing worried during a drive. I explained that because I am driving, I
always worry since I felt responsible for everyone. I asked her why she noticed
my worrying this time. She said that maybe because she is now taking driving
lessons, she has started to understand and appreciate the responsibility
involved in driving a car.
This week we read from Parsha
Mikeitz. The Parsha always coincides with Shabbat of Chanukah. While there is
nothing in the Parsha that explicitly mentions or implicitly suggests Chanukah;
we could look at the entire Parsha as embodying miracles. Two years after
Joseph correctly interprets the dreams of the Wine Steward and the Baker, the
Wine Steward informs Pharaoh of the Hebrew prisoner that interprets dreams.
Pharaoh has a dream, and only Joseph is able to interpret it. Pharaoh promotes
Joseph from prisoner to Prime Minister. Joseph becomes second in command,
devises a plan that saves Egypt from the impending seven-year famine. He is
given an Egyptian name, an Egyptian wife, and had two sons: Ephraim and
Menashe. After seven plentiful years, the famine begins. The famine is
particularly devastating outside Egypt where no preparations occurred. Jacob
sends his sons to Egypt for food. However, they have no idea that the person
that they meet, the person to whom they make their request for food is their
brother Joseph. Joseph recognizes the immediately. Joseph devises a plan to
ascertain whether or not the brothers have finally done some type of Teshuva
(some type of repentance for what they had done to him years before. For
Joseph, he must try to manipulate events in order to get the brothers to bring
Benjamin, Jacob’s youngest son born from Rachel, to Egypt as well as convince
Jacob to come to Egypt. The Parsha concludes, with Joseph forcing the brothers
to leave Benjamin in Egypt and return to Jacob with the news.
There are two moments when
Jacob and family suffer because of the famine. There are two moments when, on
two separate occasions, two sons, Reuven and Judah, attempt to convince Jacob
to allow the to bring Benjamin to Egypt in return for more food. When Reuven,
the first born son, attempts to convince Jacob that he will be responsible for
looking after Benjamin, Jacob disapproves of the suggestion. The family
continues to suffer from a lack of food. When Judah attempts to convince his
father that he will assume responsibility for Benjamin, Jacob accepts and
assigns Judah responsibility. Why does Jacob allow the fourth eldest to assume
responsibility and not the eldest? Reuven’s idea of responsibility is Et Shnei Vanai Tamit Im Lo Avienu Eilecha
T’na Oto Al Yadi V’Ani Ashivenu Eilecha
– You may slay my two sons if I fail to
bring him back to you. Put him in my care and I will return him to you
(Gen. 42:37). Rashi quoting a midrash that Jacob heard Reuven and thought to
himself that his eldest son is a fool. Jacob had already lost a son (Joseph)
and one is being held in Egypt. If
Reuven fails and now Jacob would lose two grandsons? Jacob hears Reuven’s offer
and realizes that he is shifting the blame. If, God forbid, something was to
happen to Benjamin, two other sons would suffer as well as a father and a
grandfather. To Jacob, Reuven’s offer hardly sounds like someone assuming
responsibility. Judah’s idea of
responsibility is: Anochi E’Ervenu
MiYadi T’Vakshenu Im Lo Havi’otiv Eilecha V’Hitzagtiv Lefanecha V’Chatati Lecha
Kol Hayamim – I will personally
guarantee him; of my own hand you can demand him. If I do not bring him back to
you and stand him before you, then I will have sinned to you for all time.
( 43:9). Judah “guarantees” Benjamin’s welfare. Judah explains to his father
that he will put his life on the line for his brother. Judah knows what it is to lose a son. He has
lost two sons. He, more than any of the other brothers, including Reuven,
understands what is is to have lost a child and to take responsibility for his
deeds. (Gen. 39). Judah won’t punish anyone else but himself if he fails to
care for Benjamin. Yaakov believes that this is the language of responsibility,
so he acquiesces and allows Judah to assume responsibility for Benjamin.
Symbolically, Judah has now assumed the mantle of responsibility for the
welfare of the whole family and ultimately the nation. Judah is the ancestor to King David. Judah is
blessed by Jacob as being the ancestor to the God’s anointed (Moshiach).
As I continued the drive, our
sixteen-year-old, began to understand what it meant to assume responsibility.
She asked if I thought about waiting a day and driving when we knew the weather
would have been nicer? Yes, I thought
about it and I told her so. She acknowledged that she would have been disappointed
but she added that she now understood my reasoning. Before driving lessons, she
thought that if I chose to delay the drive, the weather was merely an excuse;
she thought that I just didn’t want to be in New York visiting family and
friends. Now that she takes driving lessons, she can “appreciate the fact that
assuming responsibility means putting feelings aside and doing the smart
thoughtful thing even if means “not doing what you want.” Because of the
driving lessons. I realize that she is able to empathize with me. As a result, she now realizes that my trust
and a deep understanding of responsibility for her decisions and judgment accompanies her drivers license and my car. I
guess it was an educational drive after all.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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