Small Wheel Turning By The Fire And Rod Big Wheel Turning By The Grace Of God (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia & BIll Kreutzman - "The Wheel")

          One of the things I love to do with my kids and something my father did with me, especially when watching a sporting event, is to determine “turning points”. There may be only one turning point, there may be more. Rarely does something progress on a straight upward slope. Sometimes there is an ebb and flow, more momentum or less, headwinds or tailwinds. At my age, I know my father well enough to know what he considers to be a key turning point in a sporting event, or in a political campaign. Until recently, our son would have focused on the highlight reel moments, the flashy and glitzy plays or the moments when the team scored.  He would be bowled over by the person running with the ball and not notice the block that allowed the runner to break free. So when we had a chance to talk about the “Big Game”, I asked him what he thought was a key turning point. He didn’t point out the flashy nor the spectacular. Rather he identified a small seemingly insignificant moment. I asked him why he thought that was the moment. He noticed that until then, the team seemed rather lethargic, and back on its heels. He noticed the entire complexion of the game changed after that certain play. The team blocked more effectively, the defense became more stout, and the team played a much crisper and more efficient style than it had up until that moment.  

 This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parshah: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and the subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him but instead threw him into an empty pit nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit, sold as a slave and worked in the home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. As a slave, Yosef proved invaluable to the welfare of the Courtier’s business dealings. Yosef managed everything and the courtier profited greatly. The courtier’s wife, however, was a bit bored and made a pass at Yosef. Yosef put her off and then was accused of sexual harassment. Yosef was sent to prison. While in prison, Yosef helped the warden manage the prison, and the warden did well. Yosef became known for an ability to interpret dreams.

                Certainly, it was a “perfect storm”, a chain of events that brought Yosef to Egypt. His brother’s hatred, his father’s favoritism and later his aggravation with Yosef contributed to his winding up in Egypt. The brother’s decision to sell Yosef rather than kill him and the coincidence of the caravan’s arrival all contributed to Yosef’s winding up in Egypt.  However the moment, the turning point in the narrative, that small seemingly minor detail that affected the rest of Yosef’s life was the moment that Yosef, upon instructions from his father, sought out his brother, and got lost.  Vayimtza’eihu Ish V’Hinei To’eh BaSadeh And a certain man found him and behold, he [Yosef] was wandering in the field; VaYishaleihu Ha’Ish Leimor: Mah T’Vakeish? And the man asked him, saying: What are looking for? VaYomer Et Achai Anochi Mevakeish and He [Joseph] said I seeking my brothers. Hagidah Nah Li: Eifo Haim Ro’im.  Tell me I pray, where do they feed their flocks?   VaYomer HaIsh Nasu Mi’Zeh Ki Shamati Omrim Leilcha Dotainah. And the man said they traveled from here for I heard them say ‘Let us go to Dotham. VaYeilech Yosef Achar Echav Vayimtza’eim B’Dotan. So Yosef went after his brother and found them in Dothan. (Gen. 47:15-17). Between the dysfunctional environment of home and the confrontation with his brothers (at the request of his father); exist this very brief but incredibly important conversation between Yosef and an unnamed man. How important is this conversation? Yosef’s entire future, God’s prophesy and covenant with Avraham hinges upon this conversation and Yosef finding his brothers and eventually winding up in Egypt. The turning point in the narrative of Breishit hinges upon and an unnamed man giving directions to Yosef. The Talmudic Sages explain that this was not a chance passer-by but an “angel”; a divine messenger of God.

                For the Talmudic Sages, implicitly, this narrative is about God’s involvement in a person’s life.  Certainly, it is human nature to focus upon the big glaring moments: the explanation of a dream, a colorful coat, being thrown into a pit or being sold. God’s presence or absence may appear to be obvious. For the Sages, the key to a relationship with God was being able to sense God’s presence in the smallest and seemingly innocuous moments like a moment shared with an unnamed passerby who offers directions. The key is for us to be open-minded, and open-hearted enough to see that turning point and have the courage to see where it leads. It may lead to a new opportunity, it may cause us to avoid being in the “wrong place at the wrong time”.  For the Talmudic Sages, this is never happenstance this is evidence of God’s involvement and we must learn to make ourselves aware. Part of Yosef’s growing up involves increasing his awareness of God’s presence. The same can be said for our teenage son. Part of his growing up and maturation process is an increased awareness of those small details, those easily overlooked moments that really are turning points in life, and the ability to sense God in those small moments.

Peace,

Rav Yitz  

And So I Wrestle With The Angel To See Who'll Reap The Seeds I Sow (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Like so many American families, we celebrated Thanksgiving. We packed up and drove to my parents’ home. Our eldest daughter who had been working in Florida until the recent midterm elections came, my sister brother in law and niece came.  Our daughter studying in Israel made Thanksgiving and we all had the chance to video chat with her. The last time that I saw our eldest daughter was in June when she came for her sister and brother’s graduation. Certainly, we had video chatted. Let’s just say a video chat doesn’t exactly offer a complete picture. So when she took one look at my completely gray beard, my salt and pepper head of hair, she hugged and kissed me and said. “You are so old! What happened to you?” Like the crows feet around my eyes, I attributed all the gray hair and white beard to the existential angst of fatherhood. For me, existential angst usually occurs in the middle of the night. It wakes me up, I go downstairs, I look outside at the night sky full of stars I think and worry. I worry about life, death, the quality of life and the quality of death, what am I doing with my life, how am I going to pay for Jewish day school, college, and weddings. I worry about my aging parents, my aging mother in law. I worry about my wife worrying about her aging mother. I explain to my eldest daughter that I wake up in the middle of the night and worry about all the stuff that a middle-aged person wrestles with.” While I normally sleep quite soundlessly, every so often I am wake up to wrestle with all my existential angst and worries.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Vayishlach. Yaakov and his family prepare to return to Yaakov’s home. However, they will first need to deal with an almost twenty-year grudge held by Esav. Yaakov will hope for the best and prepare for the worst as he prepares to meet his brother.  After their short reunion, Yaakov makes his way back to his ancestral lands. His mother passes away. He is blessed with another son, Benjamin, born to his wife Rachel. However, she dies in childbirth. His daughter, Dinah, has an illicit relationship with a prince of Shechem. According to the text, she is rendered “impure” and her brothers wipe out the prince and his village. Yaakov’s name is changed to Yisroel. God blessed Yaakov within the context of the covenant made with Avraham and Yitzchok. Yaakov’s blessing includes children, land and wealth, all of the things that God promised to Yaakov’s grandfather – Avraham. The Parsha concludes Yaakov and Esav seeing each other one last time in order to bury their father Yitzchok, and then we read the final psukim: a list of Esav’s descendants down to grandchildren.

The parsha is replete with dramatic moments. However, the brief narrative (Gen. 32:25-29) about Yaakov’s night prior to his first meeting with Esav, offers us a life-changing moment in Yaakov’s life. The narrative of the wrestling match begins in a very peculiar manner. VaYivater Yaakov L’Vado, VaYei’avek Ish Imo Ad Alot HaShachar – Jacob was left alone and a many wrestled with him until the break of dawn.  So if Yaakov was left alone, with whom did he wrestle?  The Torah tells us he wrestled with a man, however by the end of this brief narrative, Yaakov is asking the man(?) to bless him. During the wrestling match, and to add to the confusion the word for “man” is not used neither is Yaakov’s name. Rather the third person masculine singular pronoun “Hu” is used.  The M’forshim also struggle with this brief narrative.  Rashi reminds us of how our sages explain Sh’Hu Saro Shel Eisav – that it was the guardian angel of Esav.  Chizkuni – the 13th-century French commentator succinctly states Malach B’Damut Ish – an angel in the form of a man. Radak, Rabbi David Kimchi – a late 12/early 13th-century French commentator is even more explicit. He offers a single word of explanation as to the “man’s” identity – Melach – an angel. Some say it was the guardian angel of Esav and some say it was an Angel sent to restate God’s promise to Yaakov. However, a more modern and psychologically aware understanding seems that the “man” is Yaakov. Yaakov is struggling with himself. The language of the wrestling match only uses the Hebrew word “Hu” – in English "he". He said, he held on, he didn’t let go, he blessed him, he wrestled with him. Yaakov’s name is only mentioned when his hip is pulled out of joint, when he states his name and when the other being renames Yaakov. Yaakov’s whole life has been a struggle… first with Esav, God, and then Lavan. Before his impending struggle with Esav, Yaakov needs to know who exactly Yaakov is and who he clings to – which aspect of himself does he cling to? The godly aspect within him? The Esav within him? The reality is, Yaakov must decide who He is and what that means as he returns to his ancestral home and receives the covenant.  It will leave a mark for sure, however during his sleepless night, during his “mid-life crisis” and his “moment of clarity”; Yaakov will finally be a complete spiritual person with a full acceptance of his relationship to God and a sense of purpose in his life. This does not mean his life will be easier. It just means that Yaakov, with this renewed sense of purpose and identity, will be able to deal with all the troubles and heartache that is involved in living life as he continues to grow old.

             Of course, I have gray hair. Yes, my beard is turning white. There are more worries, there are more things that feel beyond my control.  There are more times that I worry about the direction of my life and my children's lives. There are more times when I worry about my parent’s health. No, I don’t necessarily have my hip pulled out of joint when we wake up in the middle of the night with this existential angst. Although due to an old back injury; I sometimes wake up with my back pain more acute than at other times.  We do have the emotional scars of such moments. Our souls struggle and sometimes our souls receive scars because of those moments when we question our purpose in life. It probably causes wrinkles and definitely causes gray hair. However those struggles are necessary because it leads us to moments of clarity, and we understand that our lives do have a purpose, and our families will be ok and everything will be all right.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

What I Want To Know Is, Are You Kind (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Uncle John's Band")

There are some life lessons that recur so frequently that it seems almost impossible to learn from them. Yet, for some, it is impossible to learn. As a husband, a parent, a child, as a friend, as an educator, as a Rabbi or a community leader one of the most vital and recurring lessons of Presence. Sometimes, the Lesson of Presence is a phone call, a tweet, or an email. Sometimes the Lesson of Presence is a formal statement. Sometimes it is physically showing up. The fires out west have been horrific, lives lost. My wife’s family lives in both northern and southern California. We call them because we are concerned, but we also call them to let them know that we are thinking of them, that we are present. With a daughter in learning in Jerusalem and friends throughout Israel, when we say “stay safe”, it reminds them that we care and that we are sensitive what has been happening in Israel with hundreds of rockets being fired from Gaza.  With a daughter who has finished an election cycle and was driving alone from Florida to Washington DC; I spoke to her several times so she shouldn’t feel so alone (it probably drove her a bit crazy but she should know that she wasn’t alone).  As Jews, we pay a Shiva visit to a mourner, we do Bikur Cholim- we visit the sick. On a Yartzeit, (the anniversary of a person’s death), the loved one might visit the grave.  To be “Present” is among the most basic and simplest acts that one person can demonstrate to another. Sometimes it may require words or a hug. Sometimes it can be done in silence. For a leader of a Nation, the Power of Presence is about the easiest thing to do.  On one hand, it is incredibly symbolic, it creates a sense of good will, and it goes a long way in reminding the person or the group that feels alone and abandoned that they are not.  

This week we read from Parsha VaYeitze. This week we read from Parshat VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully, he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will come to understand the Lesson of Presence.  At the beginning of the narrative, he feels alone but will quickly sense God’s presence. He will learn the importance of Presence when his wife begs for a child, when a son helps his mother, and when a family prepares to finally leave an untenable situation.

Yaakov acknowledges his loneliness at the beginning of the Parsha. He doesn’t even feel connected to God. First God speaks to Yaakov in the dream: Ani Adoshem Elohei Avraham Avicha, V’Elohei Yitzchak HaAretz Asher Atah Shocheiv Aleha Lecha Etnenah U’LeZarecha – I am Hashem, God of Abraham your father and God of Isaac; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants (28:13). In the dream, God offers Yaakov protection wherever Yaakov goes. In a sense, God volunteers to be Yaakov’s God as well.  When Yaakov wakes up from the dream he still does not feel reassured: Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim.  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.  Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim.  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.   Yaakov equates the feeling of abandonment or a lack of presence with a lack of demonstrable kindness.  It will take nearly two decades, but as Yaakov is able to act selflessly, demonstrate kindness, he will feel less alone, and less of a sense of abandonment. As Yaakov is more present in others’ lives, he will sense God’s presence in his life.

In the first chapter of Genesis, we learned that humankind was created in God’s image. That is to say, human beings have the capacity to emulate Godly qualities. The Talmudic Tractate Sota 14 a explains that clothing the needy is a Godly quality because God clothed Adam and Chava; visiting the sick is a Godly quality because God visited Avraham while Avaraham was healing from circumcision (the beginning of Parsha VaYeirah); comforting the mourner is a Godly quality because God comforted Isaac (end of Parsha Chayei Sarah) and burying the dead because God buried Moses (end of Deuteronomy 34:6). Emulating God requires us to act selflessly, to remove the self from the equation and to do for the other. Fundamental to each of these Godly actions, these acts of kindness is the notion of being present. Every act of kindness is an expression of God’s Presence. Perhaps it is the simplest activity for a person to do – be present, empathize, and in doing so, God’s presence is self-evident.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

What Truth Is Proof Against All Lies (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Shiva for the last of the 11 Jews murdered in Pittsburgh will conclude this Sabbath. While the relatives of Rose Mallinger (z”l) sat Shiva, an election took place in the United States. When a virulent anti-semite, raging against Jews and Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society murdered Rose and 10 other Jews, Jews need to acknowledge that “it” can happen in America. As my children have watched the news about Pittsburgh unfold, as they have listened to commentators, Rabbis and civic leaders speak about it, as they listen to the President speak about it, they also  I remind my kids that “it” can happen in the U.S. My children watched the President denounced Anti-semitism; and, even though his son in law is Jewish, even though his daughter converted to Judaism, even though his grandchildren are Jewish, even though he has moved the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem; my children wanted to believe the President. I explained that of course we want to believe the President but then I warned them the need to do their homework and decide whether or not they should believe him. I suggested they take a few minutes and do some reading. The President uses terms like “Globalists” and described himself as a “Nationalist I suggested to my children that they should look into how those terms have been historically used and who used those terms. I suggested that they look up people like Richard Spencer, David Duke and see what they have to say about Trump. I suggested that they read an article about the rise of White Nationalism in the U.S. in the New York Times Magazine. I suggest that they look at t relationship between the rise of “Nationalism” and Anti-Semitism. That information is readily available from the Anti Defamation League

This week’s Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father, Avraham, who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak does not go down to Egypt. Yitzchak remains, grows wealthy, and re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. As a result, Esav is fit to be tied and threatens to kill Yaakov.

            When Esav turned 40, he got married. As different as the boys were before this, Esav’s marriages reflect his further spiritual diminishment from his mother and father. Esav’s association with these women brings out the worst in him. Va’Yehi Eisav Ben Arbaim Shanah VaYikach Isha et Y’hudit Bat B’Eiri HaChiti V’et Basmat Bat Eilon Ha’Chiti – When Esav was forty years old, he took as a wife Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. Va’Tiheyenah Morat Ruach L’Yitzchak U’l’Rivkah – and they were a source of spiritual bitterness for Yitzchak and Rivka (Gen.26:24). There is a Midrash that tells us that once a species of bird migrated to Eretz Yisrael. The Rabbis were unable to determine whether this new species was kosher or treif. Rabbi Chiya, the leading scholar of his day, said, “Isolate one on the roof and see what kind of birds associate with it.” Immediately a raven (which is not kosher) joined the new bird. The Rabbis were able to finally determine that the new species of bird was not kosher. The same was true with regard to Esav when he married both women. They brought out the worst in him, whether it was Avodah Zarah – idolatry, or degrading himself to such a point that he did not warrant receiving the blessing. Of even greater concern to Rivkah and Yitzchak was the departure of the Divine Presence. Remember that when Yitzchak’s mother, Sarah, died, the light in her tent, the holy presence diminished. When Yitzchak married Rivka, the holy presence returned to Sarah’s tent. However, when Esav’s wives became part of Yitzchak’s household, this holy light was vanquished.

            So my kids discovered that terms like “Nationalist” and “Globalist” mean something to David Duke, Richard Spencer, White Nationalist, and the Alt-Right. My kids discovered you can learn a lot about a person by who gravitates towards that person. My kids discovered that you can learn a lot about a person by not only the words they use but how people respond to those words. Rose Mallinger was alive in February 1939 when the German American Bund Party filled Madison Square Garden for a political rally, and use those words and similar words to describe Jews. Nearly eighty years later those words and similar words have been used in arenas throughout the U.S.to stoke hate and fear. Unfortunately, my kids also learned the valuable lesson that leaders can and should be judged by the words they say, the company they keep, and who else may endorse and support those words.

           

Peace,

Rav Yitz