Now that December Holiday season
is upon us, one cannot turn on the television without a Christmas special on
this channel or a Christmas movie on that channel. Perhaps the most beloved
holiday movie in our home is Frank Capra’s “It’s A Wonderful Life”. In fact, the
first time the movie was on this year occurred last Saturday night during the
U.S. Thanksgiving holiday. With all of our children, we sat together as a
family and watched. We have watched this movie dozens and dozens of times as a
family. While we watched, our 17-year-old daughter furiously worked on her university
applications as well as her Israel seminary applications. The Seminary
applications and one university application were due the following day. During
the scene Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey sits at the dining room table
with his mother, his father, his younger brother, they discuss George’s future
plans. There we were, our seventeen-year-old sitting with her father, mother
and siblings worry about her future. Our daughter, who just wanted to be
finished with the process, declared that perhaps she would just remain at home.
As she makes this statement, Jimmy Steward said: “I just feel like if I don't get away, I'd bust.” We all laughed at the contradicting attitudes: one stated
by our daughter and one stated by Jimmy Stewart as a 21-year-old son. When we finished laughing, I suggested that
our two children who no longer lived at home ought to provide an answer.
This Shabbat we read from Parsha
VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov
will find out what it means to be alone in the world. He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his
father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now
embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the
last time, he will have to face being alone. He will learn to be an independent
individual. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and
Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children.
The narrative will focus upon Yaakov’s life from young adulthood to becoming a
responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and
tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully, he
will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov
has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and
better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet
throughout the narrative he will learn to be alone, he will learn to become
independent, he will learn, through trial and error, to whom he should
spiritually cling: Esav, his parents, Lavan, his wives, and God.
At the conclusion of the previous Parsha, Parsha Toldot, we read that
Yitzchak and Rivkah instructed Yaakov to go to Padan- Aram, to the house of
Bethuel (Rivkah’s father’s home) and take a wife from there. We would expect
Parsha VaYeitze to begin with Yaakov heading to Padan- Aram. Instead, VaYeitze
begins: VaYeitze Yaakov M’Beer Sheva VaYeilech Charana – Yaakov departed from Beer Sheva and went
toward Charan. Why doesn’t VaYeitze, say that Yaakov departed and went to
Padan Aram? Why do we need to be told that he went to Charan what’s in Charan?
Keeping in mind that Yaakov has never been away from home and although he is
heading toward his mother’s family; even Rivkah knew enough to leave her family
of origin. Now Yaakov, in order to preserve his life, must leave his family of
origin. In Toldot, Yaakov was described as Ish Tam Yoshev Ohalim – a simple man of faith who dwells in tents (Gen. 19;27) The
Talmudic Sages explain that Yaakov’s dwelling in the tents meant that he spent
time in his parent’s tents studying and learning. However, no learning would
prepare him for what he would contend with when dealing with Rivka’s family and
particularly her brother Lavan. Rabbi
Kamenetsky, (1891-1986), explained that prior to arriving in Paddan Aram,
Yaakov stopped in Charan to learn from Shem and Eber. Shem was Noah’s son, and
Eber from the generation of the Tower of Bavel. Both were considered righteous
and wise men who lived in unsavory environments and managed to retain their
sense of righteousness. Yaakov sought their practical wisdom prior to his encounter
with Lavan and dealing with becoming independent in an unsavory environment. He will also need the wisdom of Shem and Eber
to help him eventually return home. As a result of Yaakov’s diversion, Yaakov
understands that he must maintain a relationship with God, and he understands
that he will need to find his way home when the time is right.
As we watched the movie, George Bailey’s desire to leave home was
symbolized by his request and his “wish to never been born”. Indeed, when
George cries out “I want to live again” he is asking to return home. For
Yaakov, he needed to leave his physical home, but clearly, he took with him the
values and the learning that he acquired from his family. He took God with him
as well as the sense of the land. He took with him a desire to return home. Yaakov
and George Bailey derive an aspect of their independence from not only leaving
home but leaving home with a code as well has having the courage and humility
to return home. Our daughter’s older sisters both explained that leaving
home is a vital ingredient in becoming and independent and confident person. Older
sisters pointed out that part of becoming independent is knowing what to bring
and what to leave, what wisdom is helpful and which superstitions are foolish As our 17-year-old watched the remainder of
the movie and listened to her older sisters’ wisdom, hopefully, she will leave
with same excitement and enthusiasm as they left with. Admittedly, and
selfishly, I also hope that she will return often, having become an independent,
thoughtful, and decent woman like her sisters.
Peace
Rav
Yitz.
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