On
a typical Friday night Shabbat dinner, as part of the blessings, we sing Shalom
Aleichem (Peace to you). Looking at my wife and children, it becomes abundantly
clear how worn out everyone is from the week just passed. Besides a fulltime
job, my wife prepares a Shabbos feast. Our children’s school day is typically longer
than the standard 9-5 job and their work week s typically longer than the
standard 40-hour workweek). Even after their long week, they are expected to
pitch in and help prepare for Shabbat dinner. Needless to say by the time we finish
eating dinner, Shalom – Peace, permeates the house. They adjourn from the
table, make the way to the sofa and begin reading. All the while, I clean up
the dining room, and the kitchen put away the leftovers and wash the dishes. The
entire clean up takes about 30 minutes. By the time I finish cleaning my wife
and children have ceased reading and are all in a deep slumber. The house is so
quiet, so peaceful. Gone are the weekday requests for “homework help”, food
shopping, house fixing, or the myriad of things that my wife and children need
me to do. During these moments I have a
profound sense of Shalom, of Peace. Everything is put away, shalom. Everyone
is safely home, Shalom. There is no anxiety of teenagers driving my car, Shalom,
no worrying about my California born wife driving in bad weather, Shalom. There
is no dealing with overtired frustrated high school students, shalom. I pour myself a cup of hot tea, I sit, stretch
my legs out, and for the next 30-45 minutes, I get to quietly study the weeks
Torah portion without any interruptions. Indeed, for those 30-45 minutes,
depending upon how tired I am, I experience the calm and the quiet of Shalom,
of peace, knowing that for a moment everything is Shaleim, whole and complete.
This
Shabbat, we read from Parsha Vayeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts
from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov
is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal
struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of
the Parsha: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents,
played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet
Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was
manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and the subjugated his
brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his
dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him but instead threw him into
an empty pit nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that
they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit,
sold as a slave and worked in the home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. The Parsha
concludes with Yosef being sent to prison.
Unfortunately
for Yaakov, and his family, there wasn’t an abundance of Shalom-Peace in their
home. Yaakov’s son’s despised Yosef. VaYiru Echov Ki Oto Ahav Avihem MiKol
Echav Vayisnu oto V’ Lo Yachlu Dabro L’Shalom – His brothers [Yosef’s
brothers] saw that it was he [Yosef] whom their father loved the most of all
the brothers; so they hated him and they could not speak peaceably to whom.
(Gen 37:4). The brothers hated Yosef so much they couldn’t utter the words “Peace
to You”, even as a common salutation or farewell. They were so jealous that
they couldn’t muster the patience to inquire about their brother Yosef’s
welfare. The Vilna Gaon explains this verse in light of a Talmud teaching from
Berachot 64a: “one who takes leave of his friend should say Lech L ’Shalom – go
TO peace rather than Lech B’Shalom – go IN peace. Although the difference is
one letter, a Lamed for L’Shalom (to Peace) and a Bet for B’Shalom - In peace;
it is the difference between e active and the passive, between the dynamic and
the static, between the participating in the journey that was the week just
passed, and the week passing by. For the brothers to withhold the blessing of L’Shalom-
suggests that they were withholding their blessing that Yosef continues on his
life’s journey. It’s no wonder that soon after they plan to kill him.
As I sip my tea and study, I look at my wife and
children, slumbering on the sofa. Knowing that I will have to help them to bed,
I sit and look at them just a bit longer. Indeed, it seems that the week that
has past was a journey, full of ups and downs. Perhaps there is something to be
said for having successfully completed the week, completed the journey and grew
as a person. For Yosef and the brothers, there was no such Peace nor will there
be until Yosef and his brothers return to each other many years later. Their
exhaustion is due to a lack of Peace. However, our exhaustion is merely the physical
manifestation of completing this journey and preparing for the next one that begins
after Shabbat. Certainly, our ability to
tolerate and handle the journey is directly proportionate to be able to Lech L’Shalom.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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