All This Favour Ended When My Brother Failed At War - (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "My Brother Esau")

           Being American, Thanksgiving was always a big deal in my family. There were numerous family traditions and foods that were associated with the day. One of the traditions established by my mother occurred during the meal. We would go around the table and offer our reason for being thankful. Usually, the reasons focused on health and family. However this year I am more acutely aware of what or more importantly for whom I am not thankful. I am not thankful for Elon Musk and his decision to reinstate Donald Trump on Twitter. However, I am thankful for all those employees of Twitter who continue to quit and hopefully, the company will be utterly ruined and fall into the dust heap of history. If you go on Twitter, you will find a cesspool of hate ignorance, intolerance a  sewage system of conspiracy theories, and a public square inhabited by loud people who crave attention, speak in hyperbole, and pander in fear and hatred. 

          This week’s Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – is a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father, Avraham, who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak does not go down to Egypt. Yitzchak remains, grows wealthy, and re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses on Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. As a result, Esav is fit to be tied and threatens to kill Yaakov.

        When Esav turned 40, he got married. As different as the boys were before this, Esav’s marriages reflect his further spiritual diminishment from his mother and father. Esav’s association with these women brings out the worst in him. Va’Yehi Eisav Ben Arbaim Shanah VaYikach Isha et Y’hudit Bat B’Eiri HaChiti V’et Basmat Bat Eilon Ha’Chiti – When Esav was forty years old, he took as a wife Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. Va’Tiheyenah Morat Ruach L’Yitzchak U’l’Rivkah – and they were a source of spiritual bitterness for Yitzchak and Rivka (Gen.26:24). There is a Midrash that tells us that once a species of bird migrated to Eretz Yisrael. The Rabbis were unable to determine whether this new specie was kosher or treif. Rabbi Chiya, the leading scholar of his day, said, “Isolate one on the roof and see what kind of birds associate with it.” Immediately a raven (which is not kosher) joined the new bird. The Rabbis were able to finally determine that the new species of bird was not kosher. The same was true with regard to Esav when he married both women. They brought out the worst in him, whether it was Avodah Zarah – idolatry, or degrading himself to such a point that he did not warrant receiving the blessing. Of even greater concern to Rivkah and Yitzchak was the departure of the Divine Presence. Remember that when Yitzchak’s mother, Sarah, died, the light in her tent, the holy presence diminished. When Yitzchak married Rivka, the holy presence returned to Sarah’s tent. However, when Esav’s wives became part of Yitzchak’s household, this holy light was vanquished.

          Yes, there was a brief moment when Twitter was first created when its potential was evaluated through the prism of the best of human nature. When children are young, we tend to see their future as positive, full of potential, and as a source of joy and pride (nachas) to the parents. At that moment we are completely thankful. However, the children grow up and follow their paths, and perhaps a parent’s optimism, hopes, and dreams gradually diminish and are replaced with the realization that the child has become the worst possible version of him/herself. That is what happened to Esav. That also holds for any new endeavor or product or service. Twitter came into the world and was hailed as a place for the civilized exchange of ideas, and the instant transmission of information. Sadly it did not take long for Twitter to grow up and become the worst possible version of itself, a place that attracts misinformation, conspiracy, hatred, racism, antisemitism, and fear. Maybe all those who left Elon Musk can form a version of Twitter that fulfills the best possible version of itself and become like Yaakov as opposed to Esav.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

We'll Still Have Our Place Of Peace, Our Love Will Linger On (Willie Dixon, Rob Wasserman & Bob Weir - "Eternity")

On a typical Friday night Shabbat dinner, as part of the blessings, we sing Shalom Aleichem (Peace to you). Looking at my wife and children, it becomes abundantly clear how worn out everyone is from the week just passed. Besides a fulltime job, my wife prepares a Shabbos feast.  Our children’s school day is typically longer than the standard 9-5 job and their work week s typically longer than the standard 40-hour workweek). Even after their long week, they are expected to pitch in and help prepare for Shabbat dinner. Needless to say by the time we finish eating dinner, Shalom – Peace, permeates the house. They adjourn from the table, make the way to the sofa and begin reading. All the while, I clean up the dining room, and the kitchen put away the leftovers and wash the dishes. The entire clean up takes about 30 minutes. By the time I finish cleaning my wife and children have ceased reading and are all in a deep slumber. The house is so quiet, so peaceful. Gone are the weekday requests for “homework help”, food shopping, house fixing, or the myriad of things that my wife and children need me to do.  During these moments I have a profound sense of Shalom, of Peace. Everything is put away, shalom. Everyone is safely home, Shalom. There is no anxiety of teenagers driving my car, Shalom, no worrying about my California born wife driving in bad weather, Shalom. There is no dealing with overtired frustrated high school students, shalom.  I pour myself a cup of hot tea, I sit, stretch my legs out, and for the next 30-45 minutes, I get to quietly study the weeks Torah portion without any interruptions. Indeed, for those 30-45 minutes, depending upon how tired I am, I experience the calm and the quiet of Shalom, of peace, knowing that for a moment everything is Shaleim, whole and complete.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Vayeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parsha: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and the subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him but instead threw him into an empty pit nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit, sold as a slave and worked in the home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. The Parsha concludes with Yosef being sent to prison.

Unfortunately for Yaakov, and his family, there wasn’t an abundance of Shalom-Peace in their home. Yaakov’s son’s despised Yosef. VaYiru Echov Ki Oto Ahav Avihem MiKol Echav Vayisnu oto V’ Lo Yachlu Dabro L’Shalom – His brothers [Yosef’s brothers] saw that it was he [Yosef] whom their father loved the most of all the brothers; so they hated him and they could not speak peaceably to whom. (Gen 37:4). The brothers hated Yosef so much they couldn’t utter the words “Peace to You”, even as a common salutation or farewell. They were so jealous that they couldn’t muster the patience to inquire about their brother Yosef’s welfare. The Vilna Gaon explains this verse in light of a Talmud teaching from Berachot 64a: “one who takes leave of his friend should say Lech L ’Shalom – go TO peace rather than Lech B’Shalom – go IN peace. Although the difference is one letter, a Lamed for L’Shalom (to Peace) and a Bet for B’Shalom - In peace; it is the difference between e active and the passive, between the dynamic and the static, between the participating in the journey that was the week just passed, and the week passing by. For the brothers to withhold the blessing of L’Shalom- suggests that they were withholding their blessing that Yosef continues on his life’s journey. It’s no wonder that soon after they plan to kill him.

            As I sip my tea and study, I look at my wife and children, slumbering on the sofa. Knowing that I will have to help them to bed, I sit and look at them just a bit longer. Indeed, it seems that the week that has past was a journey, full of ups and downs. Perhaps there is something to be said for having successfully completed the week, completed the journey and grew as a person. For Yosef and the brothers, there was no such Peace nor will there be until Yosef and his brothers return to each other many years later. Their exhaustion is due to a lack of Peace.  However, our exhaustion is merely the physical manifestation of completing this journey and preparing for the next one that begins after Shabbat.  Certainly, our ability to tolerate and handle the journey is directly proportionate to be able to Lech L’Shalom.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

When All We Ever Wanted Was To Learn And Love And Grow ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

Fiftieth anniversaries are usually considered a pretty big deal. It is a time to look back and see how far the journey has been. It is a time to look back and see younger version, perhaps a more innocent, more naïve, and more foolish version of oneself. It is a time to look back and see those younger versions of ourselves when the world was full of possibility as opposed to a world full realizations and self awareness. Fiftieth wedding anniversaries are considered amazing accomplishments and the embodiment of commitment, devotion and love between two people. This summer is the fiftieth anniversary of the Summer of Love, a name given to the baby boomers that spent 1967 making a pilgrimage out west to California and specifically to my wife’s hometown of San Francisco. I can’t help but notice the irony of that Summer of Love fifty years later during this week.  One of the most influential musicians during the Summer of Love, Jerry Garcia,  would have been 75 this week and the anniversary of his death, his Yartzeit is next week. This was the week the Jewish People commemorated Tisha B’ Av, the destruction of the 1^st and 2^nd Holy Temples, as well as a myriad of other tragedies including the Spanish Inquisition.  I don’t recall every hearing about anything in Judaism that suggests anything like “The Summer of Love”. Instead, the Talmudic Rabbis remind us that the reason for the destruction of the 2^nd Temple was because of Sinat Chinam – Pure Hatred. Yet within their attempt to make sense of the national tragedy, these same Sages remind us that the Messiah was born on Tisha B’Av. From the pure hate that led to a national tragedy comes the possibility of goodness, holiness, and Pure Love.

This morning we read from Parsha V’Etchanan. V’Etchanan is always the Parsha that immediately follows Tisha B’Av.  The Parsha itself portrays B’nai Yisroel sitting intently and listening to Moshe's first discourse on the Law. Moshe re-iterates the covenant, the punishment of exile and the constant possibility of return. Moshe re-iterates the experience of revelation at Sinai as well as a re-statement of the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments. Moshe teaches this new generation that they heard the revelation, they witnessed the fire. And the fact that they sit on the Eastern Bank of the Jordan River is a testament to that fact. Moshe reminds this new generation that this Torah is perfect, one can interpret but we cannot add or subtract words. Instead we must struggle and make sense of every aspect of Torah. Moshe then introduces the lone piece of dogma in the entire Torah: Shema Yisroel Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad Hear O Israel the Lord is God the Lord is One. The Parsha concludes with Moshe strongly reminding B’nai Yisroel that as part of the Covenant it must reclaim the land. Once in the land, B’nai Yisroel is obligated to separate themselves from the other indigenous tribes and uphold the obligations of the covenant that God made with their ancestors.

Central to Moshe’s message is the transcendent power of the God’s Covenant at Mt. Horeb. The covenant was made with their ancestors, it is made now with this generation and it will be renewed with each and every generation. How often does Moshe use words like Sham listen; Shamor guard, keep (as in take care of something)? Then Moshe tells this generation V’Ahavta et Adoshem Elokecha – Love the Lord your God.  Moshe clarifies that this is accomplished through deed, B’Chol Levavcha U’Vechol Nafshecha U’vechol Meodecha – With all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your possessions. With every fiber of their being; by being completely committed to the relationship will they be able to enjoy the blessing from it.  Moshe understood that Love will be the key for this covenant to survive. When B’nai Yisroel loves God, it will listen cherish and keep all the means of expressing that love towards God. Moshe also reminds them what will happen when love wanes and they cease listening, cherishing, keeping and observing.

For Moshe, love was not just an emotion it was a source of energy. It was a constructive force.  Moshe also understood that Love was something that needed to be acted upon. Love was not for the passive.  The Aggadah that tells of Rabbi Akivah’s death, reciting these words while being tortured and ultimately dying are but the ultimate expression of love. What parent wouldn’t choose his/her own life in exchange for his/her child? Love isn’t a seasonal short term fleeting emotion such as just a summer. Rather, Love is every day, love is hard work, and love is commitment. Because Love is all those things, love transcends time.  So while ChaZaL,the Talmudic Sages, can say that the destruction of the 2^nd Temple was due to pure hatred; ChaZaL can also teach that from the fleeting, short term destructive nature of hatred comes love and its transcendent, constructive force of goodness, of holiness and of a future that focuses upon the possible.  Just as Moshe taught that love is transcendent and perhaps the most powerful force that can emanate from the soul; in this fiftieth anniversary of the Summer of Love, maybe our task as parents should be the same. Maybe Judaism never had a "Summer of Love" because we say "V'Ahavta et Adoshem Elokecha.... " twice a day to remind us that every day one should strive to love.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Well You Know, Hate's Just The Last Thing They're Thinking Of (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Looks Like Rain")

Over the past few weeks, we have witnessed a human tragedy unfold in Aleppo. Actually what is happening in Aleppo has been going on in Syria for the past five years. Only now has it become starker, crueler, and more brutal and with more callousness and hatred that what previously existed as hundreds of thousands of Syrians have been killed, wounded or displaced. Now, not only has it been the Syrian army and air force indiscriminately killing its own. We have witnessed several attempted ceasefires in order to evacuate the innocent civilians from the wanton death and destruction.  We have witnessed tens of thousands killed. We have watched as the some countries, Russia, explicitly aid and abet the Assad loyalists. We have watch as the other countries, like the rest of the world remain silent as this Assad does to Aleppo what his father did to Hama in the 1980’s. As we watch the evening news, as we see the footage, our children admit to confusion. They understand a leader putting down a rebellion and they understand a civil war. What they don’t understand and what I can’t comprehend is a leader so focused on putting down a rebellion that he doesn’t care how many of his own innocent civilians are part of the “collateral damage” or are actual targets. I told our children to google Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot as they all turned on their own civilian populations and killed hundreds of thousands of their own. Just when it seems that a leader can’t be filled with any more hate; the leader manages to find even more in order to engage in such heinous behavior. 

This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeishev. We begin the Joseph story. Loved more than his brothers, Joseph is eventually sold into slavery by his brothers. He works for a powerful Egyptian only to wind up in prison. While in prison, he helps the warden and the prison becomes very profitable. The Parsha begins with Joseph interpreting dreams and the Parsha ends with Joseph interpreting dreams.  In between, we read about Yehuda who presented with an opportunity to engage in public repentance.

  For the first time in narrative in Book of Genesis, we encounter hatred. Regarding Joseph’s brother’s feelings towards Joseph, the Torah is clear. They are not jealous nor angry. V’Yavei Yosef et Dibata Ra’ah el Avihem – Joseph brought and evil report of them (this might mean only Leah’s son’s or it might refer to all the brothers). V’Yisroel Ahav et Yosef Mikol Banav Ki Ven Zekunim Hu Lo V’Asah Lo KeTonet Pasim – Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons because he was the son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colors. Va’Yiru Echav Ki Oto Ahav Avihem MiKol Echav VaYisnu Oto  V’ Lo Yachlu Dabro L’Shalom – And when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all the brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him. VaYachalom Yosef Chalom VaYaGeid L’Echav VaYosifu Od Sno Oto – and Joseph dreamed a dream and he told it to his brothers and they hated him even more (Gen.27:2-5). Normally one goes through a series of emotions before arriving at hatred. We might have assumed that the brothers were at first angry or jealous before we learn that they hate Joseph. However, not only do these brothers hate Joseph they couldn’t speak civilly to him. They had to avoid speaking to him for fear that they might hurt him. That seems like a lot of hatred. Yet they managed to find even more hatred in their souls after Joseph told them about his dream of their bowing down to him. What is the difference between the first hatred that the brothers felt prior to hearing of the dream and the hatred they felt after hearing about the dream? Perhaps the first hatred really was the culmination of emotions. That the normal anger and jealousy, over time, evolved into a hatred for Joseph. Certainly that “hatred” seems to be justified as the Torah text offers reasons for their hatred. It seems that by trying to ignore Joseph, the brothers are aware that their hatred is passionate based upon jealousy, anger and rage. The second hatred is more than the first. This hatred seems like a cold calculating hatred where they stop seeing Joseph as a brother. Hinei Ba’al Chalomot HaLaZeh Ba – Behold the dreamer comes (Gen. 27:19). How much do the brothers hate their brother? They hate him so much that they don’t see him as a brother but as something else. Because he is seen as and considered to be something else, something other than a part of their family, they see Joseph as threat. Without passion but rather with a cool hatred they can coolly, calmly and rationally discuss killing him and leaving him in a pit.

                The Torah narrative almost seems to acknowledge that the human soul has a large capacity for hatred. However as large a capacity for hatred we may have, that doesn’t mean we should act upon it. The brother’s discuss killing Joseph but they don’t. They sell him to Midianites on their way to Egypt. Hatred is one of the seven basic emotions. We are not supposed to succumb to our emotions, no matter how justified, no matter how cool and calculated those emotions may be. They are still emotions. The narrative reminds us and we see it with the development of Joseph and Judah. We are supposed to be governed by something more than our emotions. We are supposed to be governed by our desire to be holy and sacred. Leave it to an Israeli youth group to understand and appreciate that lesson, a lesson that they understood and anticipated two years ago. Two years ago they asked the Chief Rabbi who told them to recite Psalms 37 and 120.  Hopefully the rest of the world can catch up and pray for the civilians of Aleppo and the victims of this horrible civil war.

Peace,

Rav Yitz