Our 17, 19, and 21-year-old kids begin their summer camp jobs in Pennsylvania this week. The two younger ones will be counselors and the older one will be a unit head. With the packing completed, the car loaded, we headed out. Our 17-year-old son asked his two older sisters what some of the challenges might be. Knowing that I had been a camp counselor many, years ago; he thoughtfully included me in the conversation. So, his sisters spoke of their experiences and some of the challenges they had faced with campers. Finally, I spoke up and said that one of the biggest challenges facing their campers is a condition known as “PC”. No, PC doesn’t only stand for “Politically Correct”, PC also stands for Parentally Challenged. Many of their campers will be Parentally Challenged, this condition will manifest itself by being insecure, a misguided desire to “fit in with the cool kids”, or even suffer from severe “homesickness”. I reminded them that their job is to teach and to demonstrate to their campers how to find “joy” and “happiness” in something other than all the negative stuff that some parents think will make their kids happy. I reminded them that they had eight weeks to model a value system where a child need not be jealous of others or insecure with who and what they are.
This Shabbat we read from Parsha Balak. Balak was a Moabite King. After watching what B’nai Yisroel had done to the Ammonites, Balak was distressed. He realized that fighting B’nai Yisroel with a regular army was doomed to fail because he realized that God had blessed them. Being a clever king, Balak surmised that the only way to fight B'nai Yisroel was to fight them on a spiritual level. Since God blessed B'nai Yisroel, Balak wanted to find someone to curse them. There lived a prophet, a “Prophet Consultant,” a “hired gun” if you will, named Bilaam. King Balak hired Bilaam to curse B’nai Yisroel. God appears to Bilaam and instructs him to avoid cursing B’nai Yisroel. Bilaam ignores God’s instructions and heads off on his donkey towards B’nai Yisroel’s camp. Along the way, the donkey suddenly stops, and despite Bilaam’s prodding, the donkey refuses. A sword-wielding “angel” appeared and the donkey continued to refuse Bilaam’s prodding. However, Bilaam, the prophet, the seer cannot see this “angel”. Finally, Bilaam realizes that a divine force occupies the middle of the road and he must confront it. Bilaam listens and heads toward the camp. Looking down upon the encampment, Bilaam blesses B’nai Yisroel with words that we say upon entering into any synagogue, words that we teach our children at the youngest of ages. Ma Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov Mishkenotecha Yisroel – How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places O Israel – Kinchalim Nitayu K’ganot Alei Nahar K’Ahalim Natah Adoshem Ka’Arazim Alei Mayim – stretching out like brooks like gardens by the river, like aloes planted by Hashem, like cedars by the water (Num 24:5-6). Try as he might, Bilaam is unable to curse B'nai Yisroel, rather he blesses them.
However, more than blessing B'nai Yisroel, Bilaam learned something else. He examined B’nai Yisroel and he reflected upon his own life. Whatever B'nai Yisroel has, he wishes it was bottled for his use. Tamot Nafshi Mot Yi’sharim Ut'hi Achariti Kamohu – May my soul die the death of the upright, and may my end be like this. Bilaam, a once materialistic, prophet for hire, looks out upon a peaceful people’s encampment. Bilaam looks out upon a warm caring community in which boundaries are observed, Derech Eretz is respected (the considerate treatment of one’s fellow man), observance of ritual, and the desire of everyone to live as a holy a life as possible is lived out every day in a million and one little ways. Bilaam looks out upon a nation that has achieved a sense of spiritual completeness, Shalem. This is a community that is at peace with itself, with a sense of purpose and destiny. If an entire nation has achieved this, what individual would not want this? Bilaam realized that this spiritual wholeness is attainable. If Bilaam realizes this, why don’t we?
The community model that Bilaam sees and wants for himself is still possible today. Obviously, it takes work. Obviously, it takes a group of people with similar values, similar goals, and similar concerns for a community’s most vulnerable including children. Obviously, members of a community need to be "on the same page" in terms of spiritual priorities and a desire to learn. Members of a community need to care about one another, while simultaneously respecting each other’s space and privacy. It takes the parents of “parentally challenged kids” to stop worrying if their children will like them. It takes parents' understanding that children are not little adults but rather children, children that mimic what we say, what we do, and how we behave towards others. Gee, I can’t wait to hear how our kids handled “PC” kids and their parents.
Rav Yitz
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