And There's Nothing Left To Do But Count The Years (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Black Muddy River")

            There is a concept in Judaism called Cheshbon HaNefesh, an accounting of the soul. Cheshbon HaNefesh tantamount to analyzing a balance sheet examines the soul's assets and liabilities its virtues and shortcomings. Cheshbon HaNefesh forces the individual to engage in analysis of “where they are in their lives”. How far astray have they wandered from the most sacred and holy aspects of themselves? How far astray have they wandered from the best version of themselves? It is not a process that leads to a request for forgiveness although it is a process that may lead to an apology. It is not a process that leads to a request for mercy; although it is a process that may inform and direct others to avoid the mistakes that the individual made. It is not a process that generally occurs in public; rather it is a deeply personal and spiritual endeavor. After watching the events of the past week unfold in Ukraine, and seeing how unified Europe, Canada, and the United States are against Putin; I wonder if a country and a society’s collective historical memory motivates a nation and a society to engage in a type of Cheshbon HaNefest. Does a country or a  society ask itself: “How far have we drifted from the ideals of our nation?”  “Can we, as citizens, find a better path?”   

        This week's Parsha is Pekudei. It is the last Parsha of Sefer Shmot. The Parsha, in a very matter-of-fact way, provides us with an accounting of all the material that was used for the Mishkan. The Parsha, in a very matter-of-fact way, tell us all that Bezalel and Oholiab had done while inspired by God and their art. We derive this idea of "taking stock" from the first Pasuk. Eilah F'kudei Ha'Mishkan Ha'Eidut Asher Pukad Al Pi Moshe Avodat Ha'Leviim - These are the countings of the Tabernacle, the Tabernacle of Testimony, which was reckoned at Moshe's bidding (Ex.38:21). What follows is essentially a ledger of all materials that were used in the Mishkan's construction.  With full transparency, Moshe engages in a full accounting of the materials used by Bezalel, Oholiab, and supplied by B'nai Yisroel in order to eliminate any possibility of corruption and instead, to prove that these materials were used to construct the Mishkan. Why do we need this accounting? We have been reading about the Mishkan for the last four Parshiot. However, it was not until now, that Moshe and B'nai Yisroel were able to look back at the process and see exactly how far along they have come. For a lengthy period of time, B'nai Yisroel, as told to us in the Torah, had experienced an individual, communal and spiritual revolution. They watched Ten Plagues destroy Egypt, fled Egypt, and experienced the miracle of the Crossing of the Yam Suf. They witnessed the revelation at Sinai, received the Ten Commandments, panicked, and built the Golden Calf. They began the T'shuvah process by bringing a half Shekel as a means of expressing atonement. They willingly brought their precious jewels and raw materials for the construction of the Mishkan. They came together as a community and they successfully constructed "God's dwelling place."

            Certainly, there were specific events that we would deem as vitally important, including the actual exodus from Egypt, the Crossing of the Reed Sea, and the Revelation at Sinai. However, in each of these three pivotal moments, B'nai Yisroel behaved as individuals. During each of these three pivotal moments, one could argue that B'nai Yisroel was more reactive than proactive. After the Tenth Plague, following God's direct command, B'nai Yisroel left Egypt. After God opened the Reed Sea, B'nai Yisroel began to cross it. It is the Midrash that explains that B'nai Yisroel took the first steps into the water prior to God's miracle. The revelation at Sinai was a more reactive experience than a pro-active one. Even the Golden Calf fiasco could be argued as B'nai Yisroel's response to the fact that Moshe delayed his descent from the mountain. However, Tshuvah (Repentance)  helps explain why in last week's Parsha (VaYakheil), B'nai Yisroel brought so much more material and so many participated. Regarding the construction of the Mishkan,  it wasn't built out of fear and anxiety as was the Golden Calf. Instead, the construction of the Mishkan demonstrated a genuine desire, a choice to have God dwell among the community.  Constructing and completing the Mishkan, for this generation was perhaps its greatest achievement. They were finally, at least for the time being, pure of soul and pure of heart. They understood what it meant to be a community, a holy community, and the Mishkan was an expression of that. Therefore when B'nai Yisroel completed this transition to “people-hood” culminating in the completion of the Mishkan; it makes sense that an accounting of the Mishkan's construction would occur.

            From Moshe's "accounting", we learn something very important about human nature. As individuals, as part of a team, and as part of the community; we need to do Cheshbon HaNefesh, an accounting of our souls. While it is certainly important to do Cheshbon HaNefesh at prescribed times with the community (Yom Kippur for example); it is also vital that we engage in this process when we have survived and successfully or unsuccessfully navigated through the transition.  These transitions and changes are not necessarily confined to lifecycle events or the calendar but as a part of life in general; and certainly when about to begin a new and difficult phase of life. Parsha Pekudei reminds us that we must possess the self-awareness to step back and look back at the process and own it, and if it is appropriate, mourn it, celebrate it, or learn from it. Perhaps society and a country’s collective historical memory can also engage in Cheshbon HaNefesh. Countries that were neutral 80 years ago when another European dictator invaded other countries are no longer neutral. Where once the Western World took years to debate, placate, dither, and finally called out a dictator; this time it took the world less than a few weeks to come together, to begin supplying Ukraine and announce and enforce economic sanctions against a corrupt brutal dictator. Maybe the thousands of Russians who have had the courage to protest and speak out against its corrupt brutal dictator illustrates the first steps of national accounting.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

"Come In," She Said, "I'll Give You Shelter From The Storm" (Bob Dylan: Shelter From The Storm)

           I spent this past week finishing up my final days of quarantine. I took my Covid Test and had a requisite Negative result  72 hours prior to my returning to the border, took the Covid Test upon my arrival at the border two weeks ago, took my Day 8 Covid test and received the negative result three days later, I have received the daily phone calls, filled out my daily questionnaire on the ArriveCan app. Oh, I was already fully vaccinated prior to my driving out of Canada. I was even visited by someone from Health Canada inquiring about my quarantine three days before the rules for re-entry and quarantine changed for Canadian citizens and Permanent Residents of Canada. During this time, I began to wonder about the logic and science of it all.  Six months ago, even three months ago, I completely understood the rationale of the testing and the 14-day quarantine. Back then,  Canada was at the beginning of the vaccination rollout process and there were all kinds of issues regarding supply. As I entered my final days of quarantine, Ontario had more than 70% of its population with one shot and nearly 30% of its population fully vaccinated.  I have been fully vaccinated for more than 5 weeks. I had no Covid 72 hours prior to crossing the border 15 days ago Friday. I was negative when I crossed the border. I was negative 8 days into quarantine. So, when I was visited by Health Canada, I asked him the logic of remaining in quarantine.

          This Shabbat, we read from the final two Parshiot in Sefer Bemidbar (Book of Numbers): Matot and Masei.  This double Parsha begins with the laws of Nedarim (Vows), and then B'nai Yisroel fights against the Midianites. Moshe rebukes his officers for their collective failure to deal with the Midianite woman since they were the cause of Bnai Yisroel’s plague in the first place. Bnai Yisroel then begins the process of dividing the spoils of this battle. Two tribes, Reuben and Gad request to settle in the land east of the Jordan River and not the land promised by Hashem. Moshe expresses his anger over the request and the two tribes amend their request. Moshe adds a condition and an agreement is reached. The Torah recounts the various stops that Bnai Yisroel made on their journey to Eretz Canaan, the boundaries of Eretz Canaan are clarified, the new leadership is introduced and the cities of refuge of explained and established. Finally, Sefer Bemidbar concludes with a reminder of the laws for tribal inheritance. With all those loose ends neatly sewn up; B'nai Yisroel now sits on the eastern bank of the Jordan River waiting to enter Eretz Canaan. As we conclude the reading, we say Chazak Chazak v’ NitChazeik – From strength to strength we shall go forward in strength.

           The Arei Miklaat, the Cities of Refuge, were essentially places to quarantine. No, these quarantine-like Cities of Refuge were not instituted for medical purposes. Rather the Cities of Refuge were designed for those individuals accused of manslaughter. In order to avoid the victim's family, the perpetrator could flee to one of these cities and quarantine,  seeking refuge. However, instead of remaining in quarantine for 14 days, the individual would have to remain there until the death of Kohen, or for 40 years. These cities were, by design, cities for the Leviim for the Priests. These cities were supported by the tribal lands in which the cities existed. By design, these cities had a different status. V’Eit He’Arim Asher Titnu Le’Leviim Et Shesh Arei Miklaat  Asher Titnu LaNus Shamah HaRotzeach V’Aleihem Titnu Arbaim U’Shtayim Ir - And the cities that you shall give to the Levites shall be the six cities of refuge,  which you shall provide as places to which a murderer can flee. Besides these (six) you shall provide an additional forty-two cities (Num. 35:6). The six cities are for the Leviim, why then, does the verse include another statement which mentions the forty-two cities and for whom, are those cities? Do those cities also allow for a refuge, quarantine, or sanctuary? The Tifferet Shlomo, 19th century Polish Chassidic leader, offered a fascinating way to understand the verse. “The six cities of refuge allude to the six words in the verse Shema Yisroel, Adoshem Elokeinu  Hashem Echad - Hear O’ Israel, the Lord our God the Lord is One (Deut. 5:22). These words indeed provide a spiritual refuge for a Jew’s troubled soul. The additional forty-two cities suggest the forty-two words that make up the “Vehavta” the first paragraph of the Shema, through which a Jew submits his entire being to God’s will.”  

          Indeed, these words, these words of faith provide a refuge, a sanctuary, they allow us to quarantine, to heal, to become and remain spiritually inoculated. To a degree, the Tiferet Shlomo reminds us that the words of the Torah, Judaism itself is a refuge. No, the words of the Torah are not an escape from the world. However the words of Torah, Judaism allows us to infuse holiness into the mundane. That process, infusing holiness into our everyday lives, into everyday ordinary deeds provides a refuge from the mundane, and spiritually enriches one's life by adding meaning. So, after it was abundantly clear that I cannot possibly have the Covid Virus, and therefore cannot transmit what does not exist, the Health Canada person smiled and scratched his head. He said that my conclusion reflects science and logic and understanding. He agreed with me and explained that was the reason why all the checking would be winding down. Everyone now understands that there are legitimate moments to quarantine to seek protection. However, after multiple tests and being fully vaccinated, there is no scientific reason to continue the policy. He then warned me that all it takes is one individual who is not particularly thoughtful, and will be ridiculously overzealous in his/her job and still want to catch people breaking quarantine and issuing fines.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Every Man Is Prophet At The Mercy Of A Fool (Phil Lesh - "Equinox")

            Our 17, 19, and 21-year-old kids begin their summer camp jobs in Pennsylvania this week. The two younger ones will be counselors and the older one will be a unit head. With the packing completed, the car loaded, we headed out.  Our 17-year-old son asked his two older sisters what some of the challenges might be. Knowing that I had been a camp counselor many, years ago; he thoughtfully included me in the conversation.  So, his sisters spoke of their experiences and some of the challenges they had faced with campers. Finally, I spoke up and said that one of the biggest challenges facing their campers is a condition known as “PC”. No, PC doesn’t only stand for “Politically Correct”, PC also stands for Parentally Challenged. Many of their campers will be Parentally Challenged, this condition will manifest itself by being insecure, a misguided desire to “fit in with the cool kids”, or even suffer from severe “homesickness”.  I reminded them that their job is to teach and to demonstrate to their campers how to find “joy” and “happiness” in something other than all the negative stuff that some parents think will make their kids happy.  I reminded them that they had eight weeks to model a value system where a child need not be jealous of others or insecure with who and what they are. 

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Balak. Balak was a Moabite King. After watching what B’nai Yisroel had done to the Ammonites, Balak was distressed. He realized that fighting B’nai Yisroel with a regular army was doomed to fail because he realized that God had blessed them. Being a clever king, Balak surmised that the only way to fight B'nai Yisroel was to fight them on a spiritual level. Since God blessed B'nai Yisroel, Balak wanted to find someone to curse them. There lived a prophet, a “Prophet Consultant,” a “hired gun” if you will, named Bilaam. King Balak hired Bilaam to curse B’nai Yisroel. God appears to Bilaam and instructs him to avoid cursing B’nai Yisroel. Bilaam ignores God’s instructions and heads off on his donkey towards B’nai Yisroel’s camp. Along the way, the donkey suddenly stops, and despite Bilaam’s prodding, the donkey refuses.  A sword-wielding “angel” appeared and the donkey continued to refuse Bilaam’s prodding. However, Bilaam, the prophet, the seer cannot see this “angel”.  Finally, Bilaam realizes that a divine force occupies the middle of the road and he must confront it. Bilaam listens and heads toward the camp. Looking down upon the encampment, Bilaam blesses B’nai Yisroel with words that we say upon entering into any synagogue, words that we teach our children at the youngest of ages. Ma Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov Mishkenotecha Yisroel – How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places O Israel – Kinchalim Nitayu K’ganot Alei Nahar K’Ahalim Natah Adoshem Ka’Arazim Alei Mayim – stretching out like brooks like gardens by the river, like aloes planted by Hashem, like cedars by the water (Num 24:5-6). Try as he might, Bilaam is unable to curse B'nai Yisroel, rather he blesses them.

          However, more than blessing B'nai Yisroel, Bilaam learned something else. He examined B’nai Yisroel and he reflected upon his own life. Whatever B'nai Yisroel has, he wishes it was bottled for his use. Tamot Nafshi Mot Yi’sharim Ut'hi Achariti Kamohu – May my soul die the death of the upright, and may my end be like this. Bilaam, a once materialistic, prophet for hire, looks out upon a peaceful people’s encampment. Bilaam looks out upon a warm caring community in which boundaries are observed, Derech Eretz is respected (the considerate treatment of one’s fellow man), observance of ritual, and the desire of everyone to live as a holy a life as possible is lived out every day in a million and one little ways. Bilaam looks out upon a nation that has achieved a sense of spiritual completeness, Shalem. This is a community that is at peace with itself, with a sense of purpose and destiny. If an entire nation has achieved this, what individual would not want this? Bilaam realized that this spiritual wholeness is attainable. If Bilaam realizes this, why don’t we?

          The community model that Bilaam sees and wants for himself is still possible today. Obviously, it takes work. Obviously, it takes a group of people with similar values, similar goals, and similar concerns for a community’s most vulnerable including children. Obviously, members of a community need to be "on the same page" in terms of spiritual priorities and a desire to learn. Members of a community need to care about one another, while simultaneously respecting each other’s space and privacy. It takes the parents of “parentally challenged kids” to stop worrying if their children will like them.  It takes parents' understanding that children are not little adults but rather children, children that mimic what we say, what we do, and how we behave towards others.  Gee, I can’t wait to hear how our kids handled “PC” kids and their parents.

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

Full Of Hope, Full Of Grace Is The Human Face (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "Throwing Stones")

           Earlier this week, the Jewish People celebrated Shavuot, the Feast of Weeks, the celebration of the Giving of the Torah. A synagogue ritual that normally occurs on Shavuot, as well as on  Pesach and Sukkot, is the ceremony known as Duchening. The Kohanim of the congregation stand upon the bimah and with Talis covering them, and bestow a blessingknown as Birkat Kohanim upon the congregation. In Israel, the Duchening ceremony occurs every Shabbat. On Friday night, before sitting down to the Shabbat dinner, it is traditional for the father to give the Birkat Kohanim upon his children.  Many years ago, I attended  a wedding and  a baptism in a Catholic church.  During both ceremonies the Catholic Priest invoked the words of the Birkat Kohanim, both in Latin and English. When I made the Birkat Kohanim this past Friday, our dinner discussion included the recent events in Gaza and Hamas’ continued rocket fire targeting Israeli citizens. Even more disturbing than Hamas’ rocket fire has been the street violence that occurred in Lod, Haifa, and other Israeli towns where Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs live near each other.  Our son asked if there was an Islamic equivalent of Birkat Kohanim that a parent offers his/her child, or to the community for that matter. I explained that I did not know. I assumed that there is probably a blessing that a parent gives a child but I did not think that such a placing was also the same as a “Priestly Benediction” since Islam did not have “priests” like Judaism or Christianity. 

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Naso. The Parsha’s 176 psukim make it among the longest single parshiot in the entire Torah.  Its length is also reflected in the wide variety of topics covered including the census for the tribe of Levi - the Priestly tribe, the responsibilities for the maintenance and operation of the Mishkan, the purification of the camp,  the treatment of the wayward wife (the Sotah), the vow of the Nazir (a vow that limits the behavior of the individual as a means of elevating oneself to a higher level of holiness for only a limited time),  the identical tribal offerings made by each leader in order on twelve successive days. This ritual offering celebrated the fact that the Mishkan was “open for business”. Inserted into these seemingly disparate rules and narratives are the priestly benedictions. A quick glance at the different components of Parsha Naso suggests that each blessing is connected to the other by focusing upon the image and the theme of Naso – “lift up” or "raise up". Indeed, each of the three blessings focuses upon the idea of  issues of spiritually uplifting our souls, spiritually uplifting  ourselves in holiness. We accomplish this either through our own actions or the actions of the other.

          The Priestly benediction is an example of a third party elevating us, or at least offering supplication to God on our behalf that we indeed are worthy of blessing.  From that perspective, I can’t imagine a more powerful ritual for parents to do with their children. Yevarechecha Adoshem VaYishmarecha, May Hashem bless you and keep you. Ya' eir Adoshem Panav Eilecha VaYichuneka, May Hashem make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you Yisa Adoshem Panav Eilecha VaYaSem Lecha Shalom May Hashem lift his countenance upon you and give you peace. ( Num 6:24-26). What does it mean that God should “keep" our children or “guard” our children? Naturally, as parents invoking Hashem to protect our children seems like a great idea given all the tsuris in the world. Yet Rashi, the great 11th-century French commentator explains that this first blessing is not an expression of  Hashem protecting our children. Rather the “blessing” expresses a blessing that had already been enumerated in the Torah, namely, that our children should be materially well off. Also we ask that Hashem (the loving and kind aspect of God) should “protect” our children and their material blessings from those who might usurp such a blessing. The second blessing which speaks of “shining Hashem’s face upon” our child expresses our desire for our children to become enlightened by Torah and experience a meaningful relationship with Hashem. The “gracious” is the subliminal understanding that we can only request that our children have an intellectual and spiritual ability to learn Torah and connect to Hashem. We hope Hashem was gracious in giving our children plenty of ability to be worthy enough to receive such “light”.  The third blessing is perhaps the most relevant for parents and children. Rashi explains that “lifting His countenance to you” means that Hashem should suppress His anger. One could also understand that the light or the enlightenment we seek is God's gift raising his face up towards us. With God's countenance before us, we sense God's love and we are able to cast aside or let go of our anger and hatred. Only after we, only after our children are capable of casting aside their anger and hatred will our souls be complete, whole and at peace in this world.  Both interpretations suggest that we hope and pray that our children are at spiritual peace, their souls will be  Shaleim, to be whole and complete. Anger and hatred prevent Shleimah – wholeness, harmony, peace.

          I thought about our son’s question, I thought about my own childhood dutifully walking towards my father and receiving this blessing. I thought about the blessing itself with its invocation of peace, of God’s shining his glory about the person receiving the blessing. I thought about God raising his face towards the person receiving the blessing.  I remain unfamiliar with any equivalent in Islam where a priest stands before the community and issues Birkat Kohanim - a “Priestly Benediction”  or an equivalent. To this day, I can’t imagine why parents in Gaza, the West Bank, East Jerusalem, or mixed Israeli Arab and Jewish neighborhoods (Haifa for example) would listen to Hamas and place their children in harm’s way. I can’t imagine hating so much that I am willing to harm my own children in order to feed that hatred. I thought about the words that Golda Meir purportedly said: ”Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.”  When the Palestinian people stop listening to Hamas, when they stand up to Hamas rather than offer their own children to Hamas’ hatred, then Israel will know there is a partner for peace in Gaza.  

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

Learn To Speak, Speak With Wisdom Like A Child Directly To The Heart (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Foolish Heart")

          The Jewish people concluded the eight days of Chanukah this week. Halacha (Jewish Law) instructs that each household must light a Chanukiya. However, if there is a desire to Hadur Mitzvah (beautify the commandment), each person may light his/her own Chanukiyah. In our home, we have the “house” Chanukiya that I light and our children have their own.  When each child leaves for their gap year, university, or to live and work in another city, they take their Chanukiya with them.  Because of the pandemic,  three of our four children happen to be home for Chanukkah.  As a result,  our family has lit at least three Chanukiyot on each of the eight nights. On the last night of Chanukkah, when three Chanukiyot were lit, the most spiritual light glowed in our window. I looked at my wife, I looked at my children, our eighteen-year-old daughter in Israel joined us through Whatsapp, and I truly felt blessed.  As I looked at my eldest daughter. I didn’t look at her remembering a little girl. Instead, I saw a thirty-year-old woman who is incredibly accomplished, well respected in her career,  and sought after for her advice and ability by those who seek public office. Through that powerful Chanukkah light, I saw a thirty-year-old woman who has already accomplished so much. 

          This week’s Parsha is Mikeitz. This is Yosef’s coming out party. He is released from prison in order to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. First, he informs Pharaoh that God has given him the gift of interpretation,  and then he successfully interprets the two dreams. Pharaoh is so impressed, and so trusting of Yosef, that he makes Yosef his right-hand man. Yosef becomes responsible for preparing Egypt for the famine that will occur. When the famine strikes Egypt,  neighboring lands are affected, including Canaan and Yosef’s family. Seeking relief from the famine, Yosef's brothers go down to Egypt. Yosef recognizes them, but he does not reveal his identity. Rather, he tests their moral growth; he purposefully frames the youngest brother, Benjamin.  Yosef wants to determine whether the brothers are capable of protecting one of their own.

          Throughout the Parsha, Yosef embodies two personas. There is the Yosef that we know: son of Yaakov, despised by his brothers and wise beyond his years having experienced and learned from life’s’ ups and downs. Yosef also has a public/professional persona in which people seek out his advice and insight. It began in Potifar’s home when he improved the household finances. Yosef's professional development and expertise continued in prison when he successfully interpreted dreams.  Recalling his own experience with Yosef's interpreting dreams, the wine steward recommends Yosef to Pharaoh in order to interpret Pharaoh’s dream. Yosef interprets the dream correctly. Ultimately, Pharaoh makes Yosef his second in command. Yosef is given the responsibility to save Egypt from the impending famine. The people have given him the title “Avrech”. The Talmudic Midrash explains that AvRech is derived from two words: Av (father) in wisdom and Rach (tender) in terms of years. Indeed several verses later (41:46), the Torah tells us: V’Yosef Ben Shloshim Shanah– Now Joseph was thirty years old. The Egyptian empire, its economy, and national security were in the hands of a thirty-year-old!. There are not many 30-year-olds who become the second most powerful person in the most powerful nation. Yosef’s numerous life experiences and his ability to learn from those ups and downs,  and his ability to express himself to Pharaoh suggests that Yosef had become an “old soul”,  a great reservoir of wisdom, worthy of the name “AvRech”. 

          As we read how Yosef is regarded by Pharaoh and the Egyptian people, we understand that Yosef is no longer the arrogant 17-year old hated by his brothers. He has suffered the consequences for mistakes he has made.  He also has suffered as a victim of unfortunate circumstances.  As Yosef grew up and matured; he learned how to listen to people: wealthy officials of the state, convicted felons warden’s, and of course Pharoah. Indeed, Yosef has a gift beyond the ability to interpret dreams. Yosef’s experiences have left him humble and approachable with the ability to connect to all types of people from all walks of life. The reader has been afforded the opportunity to watch this teenager grow up into this incredibly polished and powerful man. Yes, looking at our thirty-year-old daughter in the Chanukkah candlelight, it dawned on me that I have been blessed to watch her grow up into the incredibly polished strong young woman that is highly regarded by her friends, colleagues, and mentors.  For our three younger children who are only now embarking on their path, our hope is that whatever career path they choose,  they will work hard,  become a credit to their profession, and enjoy the same Shem Tov (good name/reputation) that their sister has achieved. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

The More My Brother Looks Like Me The Less I Understand (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "My Brother Esau")

 

          Well, it's official. The "Transition" formally began, and for the first time, President-Elect Biden received the PDB (the President's Daily Intelligence Briefing). Does this mean that Trump finally changed his mind about who won and who lost? Does this mean that during Thanksgiving dinner with his family, Trump decided it was time to treat the President-Elect with the same respect and offer the same access to information that he received when he was the President-Elect four very long years ago.  Does this mean that Trump graciously accepted defeat, and for the good of the country, will move on? Does this mean that he will stop sowing doubt about the integrity of the election and democratic norms and institutions? Does this mean that Trump will give a concessions speech and tell his followers to accept the result? My 18-year-old daughter living in Israel has two British roommates and when we speak with her, she will frequently take on a British accent and use British slang. Her response to these questions is rather succinct: "Not bloody likely",  My children incredulously remind me that we are talking about a 74-year-old man who never grew up, never learned how to fight fair, win graciously, and not behave like a sore loser. My eldest daughter reminded me that would deem any child that behaved like Trump has been behaving since the election as a spoiled brat. She quickly added that at least in the case of the child, there is still the possibility that the child would grow up and cease being a spoiled brat. Changing a personality, changing who we are, changing our core seems a rather daunting task. Several years ago, a book by Stephen Guise entitled Mini Habits: Smaller Habits Bigger Results appeared. Guise's theory is based upon Lao Tzu’s famous pearl of wisdom “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a small step”, and begins with the brutally realistic view of human nature. Guise explains change is predicated upon two ingredients: intention and overestimating competence. Big intentions and big ambitions are worthless if they don’t bring results. The lack of intended result harms and defeats the person and then he/she will eventually stop the process. Guise explains that one enormous obstacle is The Dunning-Kruger effect.  This is the cognitive bias that people generally overestimate their competencies. A person thinks that he is the smartest, has the biggest brain, or the nicest.  Since change is predicated on "self-control", Guise,  explains that usually, a person assumes more self-control, not less. and as a result of this unrealistic evaluation of our self-control and our lack of humility regarding strengths and weakness, we inadvertently place obstacles that contribute to our inability to change.

          This week we read from Parsha Vayishlach. We read about Yaakov and Esav’s reunion. We read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and her unholy tryst with Shechem a member of the Hivites. We learn of what many consider to be the fanatical response on behalf of her brother Shimon and Levi. Yaakov returns to Bet El, the place where he dreamt of the ladder many years before, builds an altar, and receives the covenant from God. During that process, God changes his name from Yaakov to Yisroel. And while we read about the name change at the very beginning of the Parsha, that name change was given by another being (Gen. 32:29). Rachel dies as well as a wet nurse named Deborah. Finally, we read a list of Yaakov’s children as well as Esav’s. 

          Yaakov’s trepidation prior to his reunion with his brother stems from the one unanswered question. Has Esav really changed? Yaakov just crossed the Yabok River and is unsure as to what to expect from his brother Esav.  VaYaratz Esav Likrato VaiChabkeihu, VaYipol Al Tzavarav Vayishahkeihu Vayivku – Esav ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him; then they wept (Gen. 33:4). At first blush, Esav appears to have forgiven his brother. Certainly, it appears that the decades have washed away Esav’s animosity towards his brother. Perhaps Esav truly changed. The plain meaning of the text suggests this. However, the text's simple meaning also appears focused upon superficial behavior, manners, social etiquette, and not upon motivation and the individual's core behaviour and instinct. Imagine not seeing someone for thirty years for fear of your life. Then as you approach; the person runs towards you. Are they a friend or foe? When you embrace, would it be out of the question to wonder if this hug felt more like an assault instead of a loving embrace? While worrying about the hug, what happens when the person falls upon your neck and kisses you on the neck? Is this a kiss of brotherly love or the proverbial “kiss of death”? Is this a “kinder and gentler” Esav, or the same Esav that has been angry since the blessing and birthright “incidents”. Perhaps all these questions justify Yaakov’s trepidation during this reunion.  

          One thing is clear, after this apparently emotional reunion, Esav wants to escort Yaakov and his family to their destination. When Yaakov politely rebuffs Esav’s offer; Esav suggests that some of his armed men should escort Yaakov and his family. Again, wary of his brother, Yaakov politely responds Lamah Zeh Why this (suggestion)? Emtzah Chein B’Einei Adoni Let me just have favor in my lord's eyes. VaYashav BaYom HaHu Eisav L’Darko Seirah So Esav started back that day on his way toward Seir. V’Yaakov Nasah Sukkotah - but Yaakov traveled to Sukkot (Gen. 33:15-17). The brothers go their separate ways. The Torah does say whether they hugged and kissed goodbye. Rather, Esav offers to take Yaakov to Seir.  Perhaps Esav thought he was being nice. Perhaps he was trying to lull Yaakov into a trap and only to wipe out Yaakov and his family later.  Yaakov understood that while his brother’s outward behavior, his social etiquette may have changed, it was more realistic to assume that at his core, big brother Esav hadn’t changed at all, For the sake of his family's future, Yaakov felt it best to keep as far away as possible. 

           Yes, social etiquette, manners, and perhaps even strategy demanded that Yaakov and Esav hug, kiss, and even weep together, Perhaps, over the course of twenty years, each had marginally softened and mellowed. Perhaps each had become more mature and better versions of themselves. Yaakov's new name Israel and his limp suggests that he is not the same scheming Yaakov that he was all those years before. He is somehow different. However, there is nothing in the Torah that suggests that Esav has acquired the ability and the skills necessary for introspection. He remains a hunter, his focus is upon his prey, not himself. At the core, each mans is who he is. So do people change? Well, it seems that change is only possible if a person is humble about personal is brutally honest with oneself and capable of introspection and humility, doesn't overestimate strengths, and acknowledges and understands his/her weaknesses. Then the person must be inclined to embrace the effort to engage in mini habits with an eye towards big results. However, if a person never put forth an effort, always received whatever they asked for, never had to contend with failure and loss, do we really expect a person to change?

Peace,

Rav Yitz

All The Endless Ruins Of The Past Must Stay Behind (Jerry Garcia - "The Cream Puff War")

           This week seems to have lasted much longer than seven days. From Tuesday until Friday, we have had the news listening to and watching the results of the U.S. elections. Yes, as citizens, we had a vested interest. We all voted. Having a daughter run a campaign for a congressional seat in Texas also gave us a personal interest in the outcome. As we watched, it became clear that the U.S. is horribly divided. One political talking head commented that there really are two nations that are south of the Canadian border. It seems that these “two Americas” have nothing in common except for one thing. Both are full of fear. One America is scared of the future, scared of the changing demography, scared that the current alienation that they sense will grow worse. This America perceives that their world was better in 1955 than it could ever be in 2025. The other America fears the present. They fear Covid19, they fear systemic racism, they fear the continued erosion of democratic institutions and America’s values. They look towards the future with hope, possibility, the see the future as aspirational, as a means to “build a more perfect union.”

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeira. The narrative and adventures of Avraham the Patriarch continue. While healing from his ritual circumcision, he fulfills the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, hospitality. He negotiates with God and reduces the number of righteous people that must be found in Sodom and Gomorrah in order to prevent its destruction. The narrative of Avraham is interrupted as we read the narrative of Lot, the two Angels (the same two that had visited Avraham at the beginning of the Parsha), the destruction of the city, and the impure relationship that results when the survivors think that world has been destroyed. The narrative returns to Avraham as its focus and he and his wife Sarah give birth to a son (Yitzchak), the banishment of Hagar and Ishmael (Avraham’s firstborn son and his concubine) and the final test of his belief, the Akeidat Yitzchak – the Offering of Isaac. 

          During these adventures, during these tests, it is fascinating to watch Avraham deal with each new issue, each new tension, and arrive at solutions. Avraham always looks forward. Avraham looked forward, he looked towards the horizon towards Sodom and Gomorrah while God talked to Avraham about his intention to destroy those cities. When he is commanded to banish Hagar and Ishmael, Avraham looks forward. He looked towards the horizon, in the direction they were heading, and provided them food and water in order to survive the journey. When asked to sacrifice his son, Isaac, Avraham doesn’t look back, he looks forward, towards the mountain where the sacrifice will supposedly occur. Compare this with Lot and his family (Gen 19:12-26). Three times the angels tell Lot that he and his family must leave. First, Lot tells his children to leave, although there is no indication that Lot and his wife intent to go. The second time, the two angels lead Lot, his wife, and children out, but Lot still can’t just leave! VaYitmama – still he lingered (Gen 19:16). Even when God’s messengers grab Lot, his wife, and his daughters by the hands and led them out of the city VaYomer Himaleit Al Nafshecha Al Tabit Acharecha v’Al Taamod B’Chol HaKikar Hahara Himaleit pen Tisafeh- Flee for your life! Do not look behind you nor stop anywhere in all the plain; flee to the mount lest you be swept away (Gen 19:17). Lot can’t just move on. He stays to stay and negotiate, figuring he can flee to a nearby city.  Finally, they begin making their way towards the alternative destination VeTabeit Ishto M’Acharav Vathi  Ntziv Melach  But His wife looked back and she became a pillar of salt (Gen. 19:26) Ramban explains that she looked back to make sure her daughters were following. What parent would flee and have the children (little or young adult) behind them? A parent would either have the children in front of them or be holding their hand while fleeing. So what other reason was there to turn around. Like her husband, who had such a difficult time moving forward, Lot’s wife wants to turn around one last time in order to see life and the world she was leaving. She was merely emulating Lot. However, she did it “one more time”. From the Angels’ perspective, enough was enough. 

          Sometimes moving forward can be very difficult. Fear of the future, fear of the unknown can be overwhelming. Sometimes there is comfort looking back towards the past. However, one must avoid being enslaved by the past or romanticize the past to the point where the past is only a myth. Doing so endangers an individual’s welfare and it endangers a nation’s welfare. For Lot’s wife, that simple glance over her shoulder symbolized not only a lack of faith in the future, it symbolized her preference for the perceived idealized life that she was leaving behind. A nation struggles with itself, nearly half looking back at a past built upon myth, not fact, fearful of the horizon fearful of a future.  Elections are very similar to  Lot’s wife. Some vote in elections looking towards the horizon with hope and anticipation of a better possibility, and some vote in elections fearful of the future and prefer the life of a bygone time. Eventually, however, we know that time continues to move forward.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz