Only our 16-year-old son awaits his second vaccine. The rest of us are fully vaccinated. This week has been remarkably similar to the previous Covid 19 years at this time. Our kids have been getting themselves packed for summer camp jobs in Pennsylvania. My wife has been finishing up with her school responsibilities and preparing for her summer camp job as well. Indeed, they are excited. Yet at the same time, we are constantly dealing with the very genuine fear and anxiety of “re-opening”. Their camp won’t be allowing visitors to camp as they want to create a bubble. Even though life seems to have opened “south of the border”, it is clear both socially and politically, there remain concerns around the U.S. Canada border. Similar concerns have affected travel between provinces. A recent Poll from the end of May reflects that nearly 52% of Canadians have anxiety about re-opening, and that anxiety is higher in younger people ages 16-30. ( Stephanie Taylor, The Canadian Press CP24 New May 26th). The re-opening anxiety is not confined to Canada. It is a real thing. Roughly half of the United States shares the same anxiety. Part of the anxiety is based upon the notion that going outside will be different than before, however, we do not know exactly how different. Despite our best attempts to remain connected through phones and computers, relationships returning to “live” situations are just different from “virtual” relationships”. Also, like any muscle that hasn’t been used, that begins to atrophy, the first few times it begins to get used, will cause soreness and even pain. It seems that the same holds true for re-opening.
This week we read from Parsha Chukkat. This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chukkat. Chukkat begins by telling us the Law for the Red Heifer. The Priest who prepares the mixture of water and the Red Heifers burnt ashes will render the entire nation spiritually pure; but the mixture will render him impure. A brief narrative concerning the death of Miriam, the lack of water, and B’nai Yisroel’s resulting anxiety and lack of faith leads to the issuance of another test of faith in the Wilderness. Moshe and Aaron don’t know what to do; so God tells them to speak to the rock and water will spring forth. Instead of following instructions, Moshe succumbed to his anger and hit the rock with his staff. Indeed water came out, the people drank, but Moshe and Aharon were punished. Aharon died and Moshe learned that he would not be able to enter into Eretz Canaan. As B’nai Yisroel resumes its wandering, they are attacked by Amalek. As a result, B’nai Yisroel must detour around the heart of Amalek territory. The people complain to Moshe again. They try to seek permission from the Sihon, the King of the Amorites, to pass through Amorite territory. Sihon denies permission and B’nai Yisroel attacks and eventually defeats the Amorites. Og King of Bashan tries to prevent B’nai Yisroel from marching through his land, B’nai Yisroel, with the help of Hashem, defeats King Og and his army. The Parsha concludes with B’nai Yisroel settling on the Plains of Moab on the eastern side of the Jordan poised to enter Canaan.
Towards the end of the Parsha, Moshe and B’nai Yisroel, now consisting mostly of a population that never experienced slavery firsthand, fought and battled against several of the indigenous tribes. By this point, Moshe’s sister had passed away as well as his brother Aharon. Really, the only people that the Torah records as adult slaves in Egypt, who left Egypt, who crossed the Reed Sea, who stood at Sinai, who had been attacked by the Amalekites, who, like Moshe dealt with the negative report from 10 of the 12 spies were the two spies who offered a positive report: Joshua and Caleb. Moshe is indeed the elder. After defeating the Sihon king of the Amorites, Moshe and B’nai Yisroel turn north. Vayifnu V’Yaalu Derech HaBashan And they turned and went up by the way of Bashan Vayeitze Og Melech HaBashan Likratam Hu V’ Chol Amo Lamilchama Edrei And Og the king of Bashan went out against them, he and all his people to the battle at Edrei. Vayomer HaShem El Moshe, Al Tirah Oto And God said to Moses “Fear him not”. (Num. 21:33-34). Clearly, if God is telling Moshe to refrain from feeling scared, then obviously God is aware that Moshe is fearful. Until this moment, at no point since embarking on this job as leader of the Jewish people and engaging in this incredibly close relationship to God, has Moshe displayed fear or been described as fearful. So, Why now? Why after all that Moshe has been through with God and these people does God tell Moshe Al Tirah Oto? “Rashi, citing the Talmudic Tractate Niddah 61a, explains that Og was one of the last “giants' ' from the era of Noah and the Flood. It was Og, who had helped Abraham the Patriarch during his War with the 5 Kings. However, Rashi’s explanation and the Talmud’s explanation do not suggest that Moshe was afraid of the physical, “flesh and blood” of Og. God told Moshe Al Tirah Oto - Do not fear Oto. Oto means “him” and “it”. Is God telling Moshe not to fear “him”, (Og) or not to fear “it”,? What would the “it” be referring to? Perhaps the “it” that Moshe should not fear is what Og symbolizes, the elimination of one of the last obstacles of Moshe and B’nei Yisroel fulfilling the covenant and entering into the land. Moshe has just buried his sister and his brother. He must feel incredibly mortal and that something new is set to begin. Moshe is scared of “it”, fearful of the remainder of the process, the process of entry in Canaan. Moshe understands that “it” will not include him for much longer, and that could be a cause for fear and anxiety.
Apparently, Moshe’s fear was palpable. Given his age, the fact that he just buried his sister and brother, he knew that his time was drawing to an end. With each obstacle to the entry into Eretz Canaan eliminated, Moshe was one step closer to realizing his mission, transitioning out of leadership position, and ultimately never fully realize his He must have needed to address Moshe’s fear. To some extent, we have made adjustments in order to negotiate life amid a pandemic. We have refrained from hugging and shaking hands. We hesitate just a moment or two when we have to contend with large groups. We hesitate about things that we never used to be hesitant about. The anxiety of returning to “normal” is very real. However, life amid the pandemic has meant that my wife and I have not had to worry about our son going out with his friends, and driving to high school parties. Life amid the pandemic has meant that we haven’t had to worry about him coming home late. Life amid the pandemic has meant that I haven’t had to stay awake in case of a late-night phone call or text telling me to pick him up. Life amid the pandemic has meant that we have not had to contend with a whole host of concerns and anxieties associated with the social life of teenage boys. However, we all know that as soon as he receives the second dose of his vaccine, all that will change. I guess being a parent means living with a certain amount of fear and anxiety, whether fully vaccinated or not.
Rav Yitz
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