Now Is The Time Past Believing; The Child Has Relinquished The Reign (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh - "The Eleven")

          Well, Covid arrived at our home. Despite being doubly vaccinated, despite a booster, despite mask-wearing, our son managed to contract Covid. He has remained quarantined in his room all week. Thankfully, no one else has expressed any symptoms and we have tested negative. When our son first complained about feeling congested, a sore throat, and chills, and then tested positive, both his mother and I wondered how did this happen? After a few minutes of wondering “how”; we both quickly realized that “how” no longer mattered. All that mattered was the fact that he is completely vaccinated with a booster and statistics, science, and all the empirical evidence indicated that his symptoms should not worsen, he should not require hospitalization and he should be feeling better shortly. So we monitor his symptoms and we continue to place our faith in science, empirical data, and God. 

          This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Shira (Shabbat of Songs) because of the "songs" or poetry in both the Parsha, Beshallach, and in the Haftarah. In Parsha Beshallach, B'nai Yisroel finally left Egypt. Pharaoh sent them out and they hurriedly departed. Three days later, B'nai Yisroel arrived at the Yam Suf, The Reed Sea,  along the Mediterranean coast. With Pharaoh's army behind them and the Sea in front, B'nai Yisroel was trapped. Eventually, the sea opened up, B'nai Yisroel crossed through and arrived safely on the other side. The Egyptian army was caught in the sea as its waters came crashing down. Out of joy and relief, B'nai Yisroel composed Shirat HaYam, The Song of the Sea. No sooner are they finished celebrating than they complained about the lack of water and food. God provided water and Manna. However, B'nai Yisroel still felt safe. Now they were attacked by the indigenous tribe, the Amalekites. Putting aside its hunger and thirst, B'nai Yisroel fought for its life and eventually won. The Parsha ends with God commanding Moshe to blot out the very existence of the Amalekites.

          From the time B’nai Yisroel complains to Moshe about the oncoming Egyptian army and Yam Suf that lies before them, to the lack of water, lack of food, and lack of meat, one could understand the entire Parsha as God testing B’nai Yisroel’s faith. With all the complaining, with the refrain of the people cynically asking Moshe if God brought them out of Egypt to have them die in the wilderness, or die on the banks of the Yam Suf; it is very easy to view these newly released slaves as not at all ready to engage in a covenantal relationship with God since they lack faith. However, the Midrash in Shmot Rabbah teaches us that Nachshon ben Aminadov, from the tribe of Judah, went first into the Reed Sea even before it split open. In fact, the waters didn’t open up until he was completely submerged. Only then did the waters open due to his faith. Only then did the rest of B’nai Yisroel follow.  The sea didn’t part because of Moshe’s praying on behalf of the people; it split because of one man’s Emunah, one man’s faith that taking the next step forward would ultimately prove to be the step that saved a nation.  As a result of Nachshon’s faith, the tribe of Judah would have dominion over Israel.

  Yes, we worried about our son dealing with Covid. As far as a test of faith goes, perhaps our test was the equivalent to Nachshon Ben Aminadov wading into the Reed Sea up to his ankles. I continue to be in awe of those who, like Nachshon Ben Aminadov is fully submerged before their faith is rewarded and their circumstances change. I am always intrigued by those who have the ability to keep faith under the most trying circumstances. Obviously, some circumstances are much more difficult than others. A family that must always contend with poverty, and homelessness, a family member with a terminal disease, anyone who must contend with the daily trauma of abuse, and war, or anyone who has managed to survive such trauma, all of these people have had far more difficult circumstances than I could ever hope to imagine.  I am struck by those who have faith in the decency and goodness of humanity when they themselves carry the scars of those impossibly difficult circumstances. When I speak to Holocaust survivors, I am in awe of those who struggled with and kept their faith in the idea of the fundamental decency of people, despite the pain they have experienced by the murder of a loved one at the hands of those who don’t want to co-exist. Just as we learn from Nachshon who kept his faith in God despite being fully submerged underwater, we can learn from those who kept their faith in spite of experiencing incredibly sad, painful, and gut-wrenching circumstances. Having that sense of perspective, helped us to manage the test in our faith. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

"Come In," She Said, "I'll Give You Shelter From The Storm" (Bob Dylan: Shelter From The Storm)

           I spent this past week finishing up my final days of quarantine. I took my Covid Test and had a requisite Negative result  72 hours prior to my returning to the border, took the Covid Test upon my arrival at the border two weeks ago, took my Day 8 Covid test and received the negative result three days later, I have received the daily phone calls, filled out my daily questionnaire on the ArriveCan app. Oh, I was already fully vaccinated prior to my driving out of Canada. I was even visited by someone from Health Canada inquiring about my quarantine three days before the rules for re-entry and quarantine changed for Canadian citizens and Permanent Residents of Canada. During this time, I began to wonder about the logic and science of it all.  Six months ago, even three months ago, I completely understood the rationale of the testing and the 14-day quarantine. Back then,  Canada was at the beginning of the vaccination rollout process and there were all kinds of issues regarding supply. As I entered my final days of quarantine, Ontario had more than 70% of its population with one shot and nearly 30% of its population fully vaccinated.  I have been fully vaccinated for more than 5 weeks. I had no Covid 72 hours prior to crossing the border 15 days ago Friday. I was negative when I crossed the border. I was negative 8 days into quarantine. So, when I was visited by Health Canada, I asked him the logic of remaining in quarantine.

          This Shabbat, we read from the final two Parshiot in Sefer Bemidbar (Book of Numbers): Matot and Masei.  This double Parsha begins with the laws of Nedarim (Vows), and then B'nai Yisroel fights against the Midianites. Moshe rebukes his officers for their collective failure to deal with the Midianite woman since they were the cause of Bnai Yisroel’s plague in the first place. Bnai Yisroel then begins the process of dividing the spoils of this battle. Two tribes, Reuben and Gad request to settle in the land east of the Jordan River and not the land promised by Hashem. Moshe expresses his anger over the request and the two tribes amend their request. Moshe adds a condition and an agreement is reached. The Torah recounts the various stops that Bnai Yisroel made on their journey to Eretz Canaan, the boundaries of Eretz Canaan are clarified, the new leadership is introduced and the cities of refuge of explained and established. Finally, Sefer Bemidbar concludes with a reminder of the laws for tribal inheritance. With all those loose ends neatly sewn up; B'nai Yisroel now sits on the eastern bank of the Jordan River waiting to enter Eretz Canaan. As we conclude the reading, we say Chazak Chazak v’ NitChazeik – From strength to strength we shall go forward in strength.

           The Arei Miklaat, the Cities of Refuge, were essentially places to quarantine. No, these quarantine-like Cities of Refuge were not instituted for medical purposes. Rather the Cities of Refuge were designed for those individuals accused of manslaughter. In order to avoid the victim's family, the perpetrator could flee to one of these cities and quarantine,  seeking refuge. However, instead of remaining in quarantine for 14 days, the individual would have to remain there until the death of Kohen, or for 40 years. These cities were, by design, cities for the Leviim for the Priests. These cities were supported by the tribal lands in which the cities existed. By design, these cities had a different status. V’Eit He’Arim Asher Titnu Le’Leviim Et Shesh Arei Miklaat  Asher Titnu LaNus Shamah HaRotzeach V’Aleihem Titnu Arbaim U’Shtayim Ir - And the cities that you shall give to the Levites shall be the six cities of refuge,  which you shall provide as places to which a murderer can flee. Besides these (six) you shall provide an additional forty-two cities (Num. 35:6). The six cities are for the Leviim, why then, does the verse include another statement which mentions the forty-two cities and for whom, are those cities? Do those cities also allow for a refuge, quarantine, or sanctuary? The Tifferet Shlomo, 19th century Polish Chassidic leader, offered a fascinating way to understand the verse. “The six cities of refuge allude to the six words in the verse Shema Yisroel, Adoshem Elokeinu  Hashem Echad - Hear O’ Israel, the Lord our God the Lord is One (Deut. 5:22). These words indeed provide a spiritual refuge for a Jew’s troubled soul. The additional forty-two cities suggest the forty-two words that make up the “Vehavta” the first paragraph of the Shema, through which a Jew submits his entire being to God’s will.”  

          Indeed, these words, these words of faith provide a refuge, a sanctuary, they allow us to quarantine, to heal, to become and remain spiritually inoculated. To a degree, the Tiferet Shlomo reminds us that the words of the Torah, Judaism itself is a refuge. No, the words of the Torah are not an escape from the world. However the words of Torah, Judaism allows us to infuse holiness into the mundane. That process, infusing holiness into our everyday lives, into everyday ordinary deeds provides a refuge from the mundane, and spiritually enriches one's life by adding meaning. So, after it was abundantly clear that I cannot possibly have the Covid Virus, and therefore cannot transmit what does not exist, the Health Canada person smiled and scratched his head. He said that my conclusion reflects science and logic and understanding. He agreed with me and explained that was the reason why all the checking would be winding down. Everyone now understands that there are legitimate moments to quarantine to seek protection. However, after multiple tests and being fully vaccinated, there is no scientific reason to continue the policy. He then warned me that all it takes is one individual who is not particularly thoughtful, and will be ridiculously overzealous in his/her job and still want to catch people breaking quarantine and issuing fines.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Your Doorways Crawl With Fear (Bobby Peterson & Phil Lesh- "Pride of Cucamonga")

           Only our 16-year-old son awaits his second vaccine. The rest of us are fully vaccinated. This week has been remarkably similar to the previous Covid 19 years at this time. Our kids have been getting themselves packed for summer camp jobs in Pennsylvania. My wife has been finishing up with her school responsibilities and preparing for her summer camp job as well. Indeed, they are excited. Yet at the same time, we are constantly dealing with the very genuine fear and anxiety of “re-opening”. Their camp won’t be allowing visitors to camp as they want to create a bubble. Even though life seems to have opened “south of the border”, it is clear both socially and politically,  there remain concerns around the U.S. Canada border. Similar concerns have affected travel between provinces. A recent Poll from the end of May reflects that nearly 52% of Canadians have anxiety about re-opening, and that anxiety is higher in younger people ages 16-30. ( Stephanie Taylor, The Canadian Press CP24 New May 26th). The re-opening anxiety is not confined to Canada. It is a real thing. Roughly half of the United States shares the same anxiety. Part of the anxiety is based upon the notion that going outside will be different than before, however, we do not know exactly how different. Despite our best attempts to remain connected through phones and computers, relationships returning to “live” situations are just different from “virtual” relationships”.  Also, like any muscle that hasn’t been used, that begins to atrophy, the first few times it begins to get used, will cause soreness and even pain. It seems that the same holds true for re-opening. 

          This week we read from Parsha Chukkat. This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chukkat. Chukkat begins by telling us the Law for the Red Heifer. The Priest who prepares the mixture of water and the Red Heifers burnt ashes will render the entire nation spiritually pure; but the mixture will render him impure. A brief narrative concerning the death of Miriam, the lack of water, and B’nai Yisroel’s resulting anxiety and lack of faith leads to the issuance of another test of faith in the Wilderness. Moshe and Aaron don’t know what to do; so God tells them to speak to the rock and water will spring forth. Instead of following instructions, Moshe succumbed to his anger and hit the rock with his staff. Indeed water came out, the people drank, but Moshe and Aharon were punished. Aharon died and Moshe learned that he would not be able to enter into Eretz Canaan. As B’nai Yisroel resumes its wandering, they are attacked by Amalek. As a result, B’nai Yisroel must detour around the heart of Amalek territory. The people complain to Moshe again. They try to seek permission from the Sihon, the King of the Amorites, to pass through Amorite territory. Sihon denies permission and B’nai Yisroel attacks and eventually defeats the Amorites. Og King of Bashan tries to prevent B’nai Yisroel from marching through his land, B’nai Yisroel, with the help of Hashem, defeats King Og and his army.  The Parsha concludes with B’nai Yisroel settling on the Plains of Moab on the eastern side of the Jordan poised to enter Canaan.

            Towards the end of the Parsha, Moshe and B’nai Yisroel, now consisting mostly of a population that never experienced slavery firsthand, fought and battled against several of the indigenous tribes.  By this point, Moshe’s sister had passed away as well as his brother Aharon. Really, the only people that the Torah records as adult slaves in Egypt, who left Egypt, who crossed the Reed Sea, who stood at Sinai, who had been attacked by the Amalekites, who, like Moshe dealt with the negative report from 10 of the 12 spies were the two spies who offered a positive report: Joshua and Caleb.  Moshe is indeed the elder. After defeating the Sihon king of the Amorites, Moshe and B’nai Yisroel turn north. Vayifnu V’Yaalu Derech HaBashan And they turned and went up by the way of Bashan Vayeitze Og Melech HaBashan Likratam Hu V’ Chol Amo Lamilchama Edrei And Og the king of Bashan went out against them, he and all his people to the battle at Edrei. Vayomer HaShem El Moshe, Al Tirah Oto  And God said to Moses “Fear him not”. (Num. 21:33-34). Clearly, if God is telling Moshe to refrain from feeling scared, then obviously God is aware that Moshe is fearful.  Until this moment, at no point since embarking on this job as leader of the Jewish people and engaging in this incredibly close relationship to God, has Moshe displayed fear or been described as fearful.  So, Why now? Why after all that Moshe has been through with God and these people does God tell Moshe Al Tirah Oto? “Rashi, citing the Talmudic Tractate Niddah 61a, explains that Og was one of the last “giants' ' from the era of Noah and the Flood. It was Og, who had helped Abraham the Patriarch during his War with the 5 Kings. However, Rashi’s explanation and the Talmud’s explanation do not suggest that Moshe was afraid of the physical, “flesh and blood” of Og. God told Moshe Al Tirah Oto - Do not fear Oto. Oto means “him” and “it”. Is God telling Moshe not to fear “him”, (Og) or not to fear “it”,?  What would the “it” be referring to? Perhaps the “it” that Moshe should not fear is what Og symbolizes, the elimination of one of the last obstacles of Moshe and B’nei Yisroel fulfilling the covenant and entering into the land.  Moshe has just buried his sister and his brother. He must feel incredibly mortal and that something new is set to begin. Moshe is scared of “it”, fearful of the remainder of the process, the process of entry in Canaan. Moshe understands that “it” will not include him for much longer, and that could be a cause for fear and anxiety. 

         Apparently, Moshe’s fear was palpable. Given his age, the fact that he just buried his sister and brother, he knew that his time was drawing to an end. With each obstacle to the entry into Eretz Canaan eliminated, Moshe was one step closer to realizing his mission, transitioning out of leadership position, and ultimately never fully realize his He must have needed to address Moshe’s fear. To some extent, we have made adjustments in order to negotiate life amid a pandemic. We have refrained from hugging and shaking hands. We hesitate just a moment or two when we have to contend with large groups. We hesitate about things that we never used to be hesitant about. The anxiety of returning to “normal” is very real.  However, life amid the pandemic has meant that my wife and I have not had to worry about our son going out with his friends, and driving to high school parties. Life amid the pandemic has meant that we haven’t had to worry about him coming home late. Life amid the pandemic has meant that I haven’t had to stay awake in case of a late-night phone call or text telling me to pick him up. Life amid the pandemic has meant that we have not had to contend with a whole host of concerns and anxieties associated with the social life of teenage boys.  However, we all know that as soon as he receives the second dose of his vaccine, all that will change.  I guess being a parent means living with a certain amount of fear and anxiety, whether fully vaccinated or not.

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

My Words Fill The Sky With Flame; And Might And Glory Gonna Be My Name (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Estimated Prophet")

            As we listened to the Prime Minister share the additional restrictions on entry into Canada, my wife and I called our daughters in the Washington D.C. metro area. As parents, we needed to inform them of the new restrictions if they planned on returning home for Pesach. They would need to plan ahead accounting for testing, quarantining and the most efficient mode of travel.  My wife was upset because bringing them home for Passover became more expensive and more inconvenient. However, both our daughters agreed with the Prime Minister that further restrictions in order to prevent unnecessary travel were actually a smart and responsible decision. Each daughter explained that both Australia and New Zealand have initiated similar restrictive travel policies back in the late spring and early summer.  Compared to Europe and the United States, both Australian and New Zealand society appear far healthier, having returned to a more normal life. Testing and monitoring for outbreaks in those places remain constant and ongoing. The populace fully accepts what so many in North America consider “heavy-handed” because the vast majority in those respective nations believe that each person plays a vital role in making Australian and New Zealand society safe and open. Each individual feels connected to the greater good.

In this week’s Parsha Yitro, there are two distinct narratives. The first narrative focuses upon Moshe and his father-in-law Yitro.  Moshe leads B’nai Yisroel to Midian. While there, Moshe spends a little time with his wife, his two sons, and his father-in-law, Yitro. Yitro acknowledges that G-d has been protective of B’nai Yisroel and that the Lord is greater than all other gods. The next day, Yitro witnesses Moshe sit from morning to night mediating and adjudicating conflicts among B’nai Yisroel. Yitro understands that his son-in-law is overextended and the current method of governing is neither good for him or Amchah (the nation). Being both a Priest of Midian as well as his father-in-law, Yitro offers advice as both a father and a community leader. The second distinct narrative occurs, from chapters 19 through 20,  and focuses upon B'nai Yisroel’s revelation at Sinai.  The Parshah concludes with God’s declaration of the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments. The second part of the Parshah is very well known, incredibly unclear, and lends itself to numerous interpretations, commentaries, and Midrashim.  However, the two stories seem so disparate and could easily stand alone.  Why do these two separate narratives appear together in the same Parsha and how are they connected? 

           Yitro suggests to Moshe “You be a representative of God, and you convey the matters to God…you shall make known to them the path in which they should go and the deeds they should do. You shall discern from among the entire people, men of accomplishment, men of truth, men who despise money. You shall appoint them as leaders of thousands…they shall judge the people at all times, and they shall bring every major matter to you, and every minor matter they shall judge, and it will be eased for you, and they shall bear with you. If you do this thing and God shall command you, then you will be able to endure, and this entire people, as well, should arrive at its destination in peace.” (Ex. 18:19-23)  Yitro explains that a community must have a shared vision. To some degree, people need to know how to seek G-d on their own, and how to behave within a community. Others need to know God's ways in order to adjudicate and mediate conflicts or transmit information. Everyone must have access to G-d and G-d’s teaching. Only then will Moshe’s leadership responsibilities be light enough to bear. Only then will Amchah have a stake in the relationship with G-d. Only then will Moshe and B’nai Yisroel become willing participants in their covenant with G-d. Only then can this community uphold its role as a “priest to the nations”. Then and only then will Moshe and B’nai Yisroel arrive at its destination in peace.  However, Yitro’s suggestion is a top-down approach. Moshe sits atop. Those with enough knowledge and integrity to serve as judges sit beneath Moshe. Eventually, this knowledge will “trickle-down” to Amchah, the general population.  

          After Moshe heeded his father in-law’s advice, the preparation for and the Revelation at Sinai occurs. While Moshe ascends and descends the mountain, the narrative focuses upon B’nai Yisroel’s preparation, and its standing, waiting, and listening.  God instructs  Amchah to prepare for Revelation. The “entire people'' were in the camp, and they shuddered. Then Moshe brought the people from the camp toward God. (Ex 19:16-17). When presented with God’s covenant, “the entire people responded together and said, ‘everything that God has spoken we will do!’”(Ex 19:8) The narrative continually emphasizes that Revelation was not solely between God and Moshe. If it were, then Moshe’s role as teacher, prophet, and adjudicator of law would be overwhelming. Rather,  B'nai Yisroel must be involved in the process. B’nai Yisroel must experience some aspect of Revelation. B’nai Yisroel must be active participants in Revelation. They were. They willingly and unanimously responded.  B’nai Yisroel’s unanimous response indicated that they were responsible and willing participants in the covenant. Their participation and the unanimous response indicated that they shared a common vision and purpose.

          The two narratives join together in order to demonstrate that covenant is a sacred partnership between God and Amchah (the Nation), and between God and each individual. The two narratives combine to demonstrate that B’nai Yisroel connects directly and through a shared intermediary, Moshe. As a result, each individual understands the benefits of self-sacrifice for his/her own welfare as well as the welfare of the covenant and the community. Ideally, this self-sacrifice will allow B'nai Yisroel and Moshe to arrive at their destination in peace. The citizens of Australia and New Zealand care enough about themselves and their community to engage in behaviour that requires some self-sacrifice in order to prevent the spread of Covid,  re-open society thereby arriving at its destination in peace.  This attitude benefits both the individual and the community.  So our daughters will plan accordingly. Their inconvenience is a small price to pay to combat the spread of Covid and hopefully return to a more normal way of life. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

The More My Brother Looks Like Me The Less I Understand (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "My Brother Esau")

           With her candidate’s campaign now complete, our daughter needed a rest. When we spoke about her post-campaign plans, I suggested that a two-week quarantine with unlimited wifi, meals served, no chores, access to exercise equipment, cable television, free laundry, and a coffee maker might permit her to relax, catch up on some sleep, as well as her friends. All the while she could professionally network.  By the time her quarantine would end, she could celebrate her birthday and celebrate U.S. Thanksgiving. For our son, his eldest sister’s presence would mean that he wouldn’t be the only child home while we celebrated American Thanksgiving. So, with an opportunity to quarantine, relax, and celebrate her birthday and Thanksgiving with at least one of her siblings,  our eldest daughter arrived home. Thankfully she feels fine.  During her quarantine, our other daughters, (University of Maryland and Israel) have called the two siblings who are here in Toronto. They have had several Whatsapp group video calls. We, the parents,  love watching the four of them speak together or video chat together. As I watch them and listen, I am amazed by their similarities and their differences. I am always amazed that these four nearly adult children who grew up in the same are four different personalities and different perspectives on the world. 

          This week, we read from Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any more different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak doesn’t depart from the land but rather remains there, growing wealthy. Instead, Yitzchak re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. Esav discovers that he lost out on the blessing and he threatens to kill Yaakov. The Parsha concludes with Rivka telling Jacob to go to her brother’s home. She explains to  Yitzchak that Yaakov needs to leave home in order to find a wife. Prior to his departure, Yitzchak wants to bless Yitzchak.  So, prior to his departure Yaakov receives his the blessing of the Brit, the Covenant that God made with Avraham and Yitzchak. This covenantal blessing was never intended for Esav.  Yaakov leaves home. Esav moves away as well and decides to dwell with his uncle Ishmael among the Canaanites.

Two boys grew up in the same home with the same parents and instilled with the same values, went to the same day school, participated in the same extracurricular activities, and shared the same Bar Mitzvah date. Although the parents disagreed as to who was going to be “successful”; by the end of the Parsha, it is quite clear that the blessing that Yitzchak gave Yaakov prior to Yaakov’s departure was always intended for Yaakov. So to some extent, both parents agreed as to who was the rightful inheritor of the Abrahamic Covenant. Right or wrong, the parents had definite opinions about their sons’, their abilities, and their future success.  Much of that opinion is based upon how each child responds to life’s stimuli. The Torah doesn’t really tell us much about their respective youth, Va’Yigdalu HaN’Arim, “And the boys grew up.” (Gen25: 27) R’ Levi said: At first they were like myrtle and a wild rose growing side by side. But when they grew up the former yielded to its natural fragrance, and the latter its thorns. So, for the first thirteen years, both Yaakov and Esav went to school and came home from school. But at the end of thirteen years, one went to houses of study and the other to shrines of idolatry.” (Genesis Rabbah 63:10). The Sifsei Chachamim clarifies that until their Bar Mitzvah, they were nearly identical. However, after their Bar Mitzvah, essential differences became evident. By the time they reached Bar Mitzvah, they now can begin to formulate their own opinions, develop their own attitudes, respond to their likes and dislikes. By the time the boys reach Bar Mitzvah, the parents can see a personality develop and take root. 

          As parents, we always think our perceptions of our children are the best indicators of an outcome.  However, it would appear that parents’ perceptions are not always based upon the context at the time but rather upon an ideal. From Yitzchak’s perspective Esav was a fine son, and worthy of a blessing because he meticulously fulfilled the value of Kibud Av – Respecting the father.  However, as meticulous as Esav was about that particular value, it did not make him fit for The Covenantal  Blessing. Children grow up in the same home but they respond to the stimuli differently, they have different interests, passions, and experiences outside the home which also influence, shape, and stimulate. As parents, perhaps all we can do is leave our arms, homes, and minds open to our children, praising them when they work hard at becoming the best possible version of themselves, and kvelling when they accomplish this.

Peace, 

Rav Yitz