The other day, our fourteen year old daughter got
the best of me. After pushing my buttons over and over again, I made the number
one parent mistake. I responded. I should have walked away but I responded.
Knowing that I possessed a much stronger vocabulary that could inflict more hurt
than what she was saying to me; I should have just walked away. However in the
heat of the moment, I wanted to show her that I was the parent. So I said something that was pretty hurtful
to her. In a look that expressed shock; her jaw dropped, tears welled up and
she ran upstairs to her room. Belatedly
I went outside to get some air and collect my thoughts. I thought about what
had just transpired. I thought how I should have behaved differently, behaved
in a manner that would have de-escalated the tension as opposed to escalated the
tension. Then I thought about what I could do to rectify the current situation
of our fourteen year old daughter angry and upset in her room. Personally, I don’t like apologizing to my
children. However in this particular case, it was absolutely the right thing to
do. I went upstairs, I sat at the foot of her bed and apologized. I explained
that I should have known better. I apologized for failing to act more like an
adult and her parent. My apology was contrite and heartfelt. She cried a little
and apologized to me. We talked some more, hugged and then I said good night to
her. I realized that had I not apologized first, she would never have
apologized to me and we would never have discussed the issue that was at the
heart of the matter.
This Shabbat, we resume the weekly Torah Readings
with Parsha Shemini. Divided into three chapters, Parsha Shemini begins the
narrative aspects of the book of Leviticus. Until now, we have read God’s
speaking to Moshe about all the various Korbonot
(offerings) and Moshe speaking to
Bnai Yisroel and the Kohanim about all the Korbonot
(offerings). Now, Aaron, the Kohen
Gadol, begins his preparations for and then engages in the actual slaughtering
of the Ram as part of his own Sin Offering. First the Kohen Gadol must be
without blemish, without sin, and ritually pure before he begins serving as the
conduit between the individual/community and
God. When the Kohen is ritually impure and attempts to approach God
inappropriately we learn the results, as does Aaron (Lev. 10:1-2). Finally, we
learn how the individual/the community can aspire to be holy without Kohen
Gadol’s involvement. We learn this by the Torah’s enumeration of all the
animals that are prohibited for consumption.
The Parsha begins with the word VaYehi: It was on the
eighth day; Moses summoned Aaron and his sons, and the elders of Israel
(Lev. 9:1). In the Talmudic tractate
of Megillah (10b) we are taught that the word VaYehi often serves as foreshadow for troubling events. The Midrash
teaches that this parsha occurred on the first of Nissan, an incredibly happy
time since it serves as an indicator of Zman
Cheiruteinu – the Time of our Freedom
and the Pesach holiday. However this is a bittersweet moment. The sweetness is
the fact that the community is gathering together for the dedication of the
Mishkan. The bitterness lay in the fact that a Mishkan is even necessary. Prior
to the sin of the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf), there was no need for a
place for Bnai Yisroel to gather and engage in communal and individual Tshuva. Following the sin of the Eigel Zahav, we as individuals and as a
community required a central gathering place to atone for our sins, and engage
in Tshuvah. Next we read Vayomer El Aharon Kach Lecha Eigel ben Bakar L’Chatat – [Moshe] said to Aaron: Take for yourself a
young bull for a sin offering…(Lev. 9:3).What sin offering? What did Aaron
do wrong that a Sin offering was required? Precisely because of Aaron’s
involvement in the Golden Calf debacle, he needs to atone. So Aaron must bring
a Chatat offering, a sin offering.
Aaron must admit his sin, atone for it, and seek a spiritual return to God (Tshuvah) prior to serving on the behalf
of the people. Even more powerful than Aaron’s fulfilling this obligation is
the fact that Aaron’s two remaining sons, the Elders, and the entire assembly
will bear witness to Aaron’s humbling of himself. Not only will Aaron know that
he is worthy to serve on behalf of the people, but the people will know as
well.
Our sages hold Aaron in very high
esteem. While the Rabbinic Sages are troubled with the way he handled himself
during the incident of the Golden Calf; it is here in Parsha Shemini, when
Aaron publicly humbles himself, we understand Aaron’s meritorious conduct. Aaron’s behavior provides a powerful lesson
for any individual in a position of authority or leadership. Our ability to
engage in heartfelt Tshuva does not diminish our authority but rather enhances
it.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
