I Can Hear The Siren's Call It's A Certain Sort Of Sound; And The Rain Falling Down (John Barlow & Bob Weir -"Saint of Circumstance")

           Over the past few weeks, Frances Haugen,  a former data scientist at Facebook, revealed how the company’s algorithm amplifies misinformation, anger, inflammatory divisive speech: all of which ultimately corrodes the foundations of a democratic society. She explained this to newspapers, and with numerous documents that she copied prior to leaving Facebook, she testified to this before a Senate subcommittee. Earlier this week, she appeared before the British Parliament to testify as well. Since she went public with her story and documents, others have and will continue to come forward testifying to the toxic environment that Facebook creates with its algorithm, its disdain for public safety, and its avarice and greed with revenue generation as its only goal. It takes a certain type of person to have the courage, the strength of character, a strong moral code,  to be a whistleblower. I don’t think Ms. Haugen began her career as a data scientist aspiring to become a whistleblower.  Nor do I think that one becomes a whistleblower for selfish reasons. It is a rather selfless and lonely endeavor that illustrates a concern for the greater good and concern for the vulnerable.

        This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial, and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, his servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. The servant wants to know how to determine the appropriate girl for his master's son. Avraham answers that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels, and plenty of wealth for a dowry, the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

        The story of the Yitzchak and Rebecca's courtship is one of the more unique stories in Torah. Three times we read of the servant’s test or criteria for determining a wife for his master’s son. The first mention occurs when the servant prays to God that a girl offers water to him and his camels. Vayomer Adonai Elohei Adoni Avraham Hakrei Nah Lfanai Hayom V'Asei Chesed Im Adoni Avraham - And he said, " Lord, God of my master Avraham, may you so arrange it for me this day that you do kindness with my master Abraham, See, I stand here by the spring of water and the daughters of the townsmen come out to draw. Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say 'Please tip over your jug so I may drink', and who replies, 'Drink, and I will even water your camels,'…. (Gen 24:12-14) The second telling of this story is when it actually occurs. (Gen 24:15-21) The third telling of the story occurs when the servant tells it for the first time to Rebecca's family (Gen.24:42-46). These events must be significant if Torah tells us the events in three different contexts, all of which are in the same chapter.

        The servants' criteria are quite eye-opening. A woman that shows kindness to the stranger, a lowly servant, the embodiment of the vulnerable. The woman showed kindness to the stranger by offering him water and then providing water to his camels without having to be asked. Neither demonstrating fear of a stranger, concern for her safety, Rebecca's sole focus was upon the well-being of the “other”, in this case, Avraham’s servant. Such a selfless woman, with a genuine concern for the “other”, must be the right person for his master’s son because similar qualities are manifest in his master’s character. The servant doesn’t worry about looks, her family's character, and behavior, success in school, or anything else. Just one simple act of Gemilut Chasadim, of Loving Kindness, is the sole criteria for choosing a mate. Ms. Haugen must have had role models, perhaps her parents, teachers, or mentors with tremendous character, a powerful moral code, and concern for the welfare of others. Clearly, Ms. Haugen learned those lessons, internalized them, made those qualities part of her character, and when confronted with an injustice, she blew a whistle in an attempt to make the world a bit safer and a bit better than it was before. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz

I Would Slave To Learn The Way To Sink Your Ship Of Fools (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - Ship Of Fools")

As a father of four, I spend a lot of time worrying. I worry about our four kids. I worry about my wife. I worry when they are very busy with work and school. I worry when they feel stress. I worry when I sense that they are not taking care of themselves. For our eldest daughter who works on a presidential campaign, this is one the busiest times of the presidential campaign cycle. She loves this time of year and she thrives during this time of year. Admittedly, as her dad,  I worry about her. I worry that she will forget to take care of herself. During a recent conversation, she reassured me that she was looking after herself and that she even decided to suspend her Facebook account, cut back on her use of social media and diminish the number of people she follows on Twitter, mostly comedians. She explained that the world of Social Media had grown incredibly toxic and she believed that by cutting back; she could reduce her stress and anxiety.  I decided to look into this relationship between social media and anxiety, depression and mental health. My daughter was onto something.  A recent study published in the Journal of Depression last year demonstrated a link between the high usage of social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, to name a few,  and depression.  Of the participants in the study who checked their social media accounts 30 times per week an hour per day; 25% faced a higher risk (2.7 times more risk) for depression. There is greater exposure to cyberbullying, and all the toxicity and hate that is in social media. Also, because people only post the best thing and the most “perfect” moments, others suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Such people are left feeling that they have nothing worthwhile to post, their lives are not as great as those whom they follow.  A recent study at York University found that young women who were asked to interact with a post of someone whom they perceived as more attractive felt worse about themselves afterward. The 120 undergraduate women were either asked to find on Facebook and Instagram a peer who they felt was more attractive, or a family member who they did not feel was more attractive, and leave a comment. They reported that they felt worse about their own appearances only in the first condition, with peers, but not family. It would appear based upon scientific studies and our daughter’s social media experiences, too much Social Media can enslave.

            This week, we begin the Book of Shmot, the Book of Exodus. The first few verses essentially recount the ending of the Book of Genesis. Shmot re-iterates the fact that Yaakov and his sons came to Egypt, Yaakov dies, and the next generation, Yaakov’s sons (including Yosef) pass away. A new king assumes the mantle of power and does not know of Yosef’s great deeds. Instead, the new Pharaoh believed that this foreign population was tantamount to a fifth column. Therefore this tribe must be enslaved in order to prevent their uniting with Egypt’s external enemies. Vayavidu Mitzrayim et B’nai Yisroel B’Farech – The Egyptians enslaved B’nai Yisroel with crushing harshness. Vai’Mareru et Chayeihem Ba’Avodah Kasha B'Chomer Uvilveinim Uvechol Avodah Ba’Sadeh Eit Kol Avodatam Asher Avdu Bahem B’Farech – They embittered their lives with hard work, with mortar, and with bricks, and with every labor of the field, all their labors that they performed with them were with crushing harshness (Ex. 1:13-14). These two verses strike me as problematic. Why does the first verse tell us that enslavement was with “crushing harshness” when the second verse goes into great detail as to what constitutes crushing hardness and then concludes with “the labor that they performed with them with crushing harshness? Either the verse seems redundant, or superfluous. Perhaps the best solution would be to eliminate the word b’Farech in the first verse and keep it in the second verse. So it would read: the Egyptians enslaved B’nai Yisroel. They embittered their lives….  How do we understand the use of the extra B’Farech?

            The second use of B’Farech is defined for us by the verse. Hard work, embittering lives, every labor of the field constitutes crushing harshness. The issue is the use of B’Farech in the previous verse. Perhaps the crushing harshness is not to be taken literally. In Hebrew B’Farech means “in a crushing manner” the slavery ground them into the ground. Farech can be divided into two words Peh and Rech. Peh means mouth and Rech means soft. Figuratively “soft speech” means persuasively or persuading via the “soft sell” as opposed to threats. With this in mind, we can understand that there were to steps to slavery. First, convince B’nai Yisroel that they were part of Egypt. Explain to B’nai Yisroel how much they are needed by Egypt. Incorporate them into the Egyptian workforce. Make it easy to be Egyptian. Encourage assimilation. Once B’nai Yisroel willingly gave up their “separateness”, once they gave up their identity, one piece at a time, they relinquished their freedom one piece at a time. The first verse could, therefore, be understood as Egyptians crushing slavery as the dominant culture and society overwhelming or crushing the minority culture. Once assimilation occurred, once B’nai Yisroel had assumed the bondage of the popular culture; putting them into chains and crushing them with backbreaking work became inevitable.

            To a degree, Social Media has enslaved us.  We are exposed to all the unfiltered thoughts and bilge that a person desires to share. We are exposed to everyone’s attempt to cast themselves in the best possible light, we think that we are the only ones with problems and imperfections. The second we receive a notification, we have programmed ourselves to look and see about what are we being notified, and if we don’t check our notification right away: we will miss out and then feel left out (FOMO). Ironic isn’t it? The one notification for which we ought to be attentive, answer or follow is God, and that is the one relationship that requires no technology, no plugging in, no screen and no cell tower. When I checked in our daughter and asked her how her diminished social media use was going; she explained that besides less stress, she has more time, more focus, less aggravation and a greater sense of calm. Now, I need to convince my three other kids and my wife to liberate themselves from too much social media.

Peace.

Rav Yitz

With hope in our hearts, with trust in our eyes - Robert Hunter, Merle Saunders "Resurrection Rag "

Watched the Golden Globes the other night. Incredibly, I saw only one of the movies that were nominated for best picture. That must indicated something. I am not sure what, well I have an idea. My eldest daughter, the college student, watched with us. She had taken a film class at university so she had not only seen most of the movies and even felt qualified and compelled to offer insight about most of the movies. Among the big movie winners in the Golden Globes was The Social Network. The movie was based upon the founding of the FaceBook, the most popular social networking website of all time. How popular is FaceBook? Well it is now not only a website but because of FaceBook the noun "friend" has become a verb as in: "Some high school classmate of mine 'friended' me even though we couldn't stand each other when we were in High School". The premise of the Face Book and its billionaire founder Mark Zuckerberg was to create an on line community, to reconnect with old acquaintances as well as develop new and perhaps 'virtual' friends. The tag line for the movie was "You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies". I am not such a FaceBook person. I rarely go on it. My wife finds it to be an incredibly easy way for her to stay in touch with her friends across North America and Israel. What is so interesting about FaceBook is the facility with which web based communities have been established and flourished. The web based community is fascinatingly simple. People with a common interest in something, in anything join. It doesn't matter if its gardening, cookie baking, parenting, intermarriage, farming or being an alumnus of a particular university. If you have a computer and an interest, you can find like minded people and join a community. Its a perfect scenario. Everyone is on the same page, the same interest, the same passion (otherwise they wouldn't have joined the site FaceBook group), and the same desire to connect with other like minded people. Doesn't that sound so perfect? Doesn't that sound so ideal? Actually, it strikes me as rather limiting. The thing that binds these FaceBook groups together is a rather limited thread of interest (whatever that thread of interest maybe). Not only is it a limited thread of interest, but it strikes me that it requires very little personal investment or commitment on the part of the individual member. Perhaps that is the larger problem with the virtual world. It is virtual! If I don't like it, I don't have to enter into the Face Book group, I don't have to log in, I can easily ignore, or even drop out, and just as easily find another group.

This week we will read of the incredibly powerful, confusing, somber moment when Bnai Yisroel stood at the foot of Har Sinai and experienced revelation. We will read of the moment when this former group of slaves, must now find another way of creating commonality and a shared experience that will allow them to build a community. We will read of the moment when each individual that stood at Sinai now had the opportunity to become part of something much bigger and more holy than him/herself. However, unlike the ease with which we can come and go from a FaceBook group, there was an enormous commitment made by both God and the Jewish People at Sinai, a commitment that was neither flimsy or "fair-weathered". Prior to the revelation at Sinai, Moshe's father in-law, Yitro - a Midianite priest offers wonderful advice and an equally powerful argument for his advice. Im Et Ha'Davar HaZeh Ta'Aseh V'Tzivcha Elokim V'Yachalta Amod V'Gam Kol Ha'Am HaZeh Al Mkomo Yavo V'Shalom If you do this thing and God Shall command you then you will be able to endure, and this entire people, as well, shall arrive at its destination in peace. (Ex. 18:23. ) "The Thing" that Yitro mentions was his advice to re-organize the community to listen and judge people's conflicts. Moshe cannot spend the whole day listening to and adjudicating peoples problems and the people cannot stand in line all day waiting to get their conflicts solved. Yitro explains that some people should be educated and trained to adjudicate simpler and basic conflicts and the really difficult issues would come before Moshe. After Moshe heeded his father in-law’s advice, we read the second half of the Parshah, the Revelation at Sinai. Throughout this narrative, the focus is upon the people, and Moshe’s ascending and descending the mountain. G-d’s instructs the Amcha, “the people” to prepare for Revelation. Three times God tells Moshe to inform B’nai Yisroel of everything that transpired between them. Moshe connects “the people” to G-d. Three days, B’nai Yisroel prepared for their “destination”. The “entire people” was in the camp, and they shuddered. Then Moshe brought the people from the camp toward God. (Ex 19:16-17). When presented with God’s covenant, Va Ya'anu chol Ha'Am Yachdav, VaYomru Kol Asher Diber HaShem Na'Aseh - the entire people responded together and said, ‘everything that God has spoken we will do!”(Ex 19:8) The narrative continually emphasizes that Revelation was not solely between God and Moshe. If it were, then Moshe’s role as teacher, prophet and adjudicator of law would be overwhelming. No, Bnai Yisroel must be involved in the process. B’nai Yisroel must experience some aspect of Revelation. B’nai Yisroel must be active participants in Revelation. They were. They willingly and unanimously responded. B’nai Yisroel’s unanimous response obligates them as responsible participants. Also their participation and unanimous response indicates that they share a common vision and purpose. Perhaps each individual experienced something different, but they all realized that in that individual experience was great commonality with everyone else at Sinai.

Yet the experience wasn't a virtual, it wasn't web based. It wasn't with one person and then reported to a bunch of other people. Neither did it come easy. There was work involved in order to prepare for it (three days), there were rules as to how this moment would be experienced (they could not touch the mountain or go up the mountain) and there was a moment where a comittment needed to be made and verbalized. This wasn't something that was a passing interest so they joined a group. This was a demanding experience which in turn demanded a profound commitment, a commitment that was more than an interest in something or even a common past experience. No, this commitment had to be based on the opportunity to continually renew the commitment everyday as well as to pass it on to the next generation. Being part of such a group might not be so perfect, nor agreeable like a FaceBook group. However because it demands us to be the best we can, to constantly learn and to pass this along to the next generation; it seems that these are the ingredients that are necessary to build a community that transcends time and space more so than a FaceBook Group.

Peace,
Rav Yitz