I Can Hear The Siren's Call It's A Certain Sort Of Sound; And The Rain Falling Down (John Barlow & Bob Weir -"Saint of Circumstance")

           Over the past few weeks, Frances Haugen,  a former data scientist at Facebook, revealed how the company’s algorithm amplifies misinformation, anger, inflammatory divisive speech: all of which ultimately corrodes the foundations of a democratic society. She explained this to newspapers, and with numerous documents that she copied prior to leaving Facebook, she testified to this before a Senate subcommittee. Earlier this week, she appeared before the British Parliament to testify as well. Since she went public with her story and documents, others have and will continue to come forward testifying to the toxic environment that Facebook creates with its algorithm, its disdain for public safety, and its avarice and greed with revenue generation as its only goal. It takes a certain type of person to have the courage, the strength of character, a strong moral code,  to be a whistleblower. I don’t think Ms. Haugen began her career as a data scientist aspiring to become a whistleblower.  Nor do I think that one becomes a whistleblower for selfish reasons. It is a rather selfless and lonely endeavor that illustrates a concern for the greater good and concern for the vulnerable.

        This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial, and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, his servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. The servant wants to know how to determine the appropriate girl for his master's son. Avraham answers that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels, and plenty of wealth for a dowry, the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

        The story of the Yitzchak and Rebecca's courtship is one of the more unique stories in Torah. Three times we read of the servant’s test or criteria for determining a wife for his master’s son. The first mention occurs when the servant prays to God that a girl offers water to him and his camels. Vayomer Adonai Elohei Adoni Avraham Hakrei Nah Lfanai Hayom V'Asei Chesed Im Adoni Avraham - And he said, " Lord, God of my master Avraham, may you so arrange it for me this day that you do kindness with my master Abraham, See, I stand here by the spring of water and the daughters of the townsmen come out to draw. Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say 'Please tip over your jug so I may drink', and who replies, 'Drink, and I will even water your camels,'…. (Gen 24:12-14) The second telling of this story is when it actually occurs. (Gen 24:15-21) The third telling of the story occurs when the servant tells it for the first time to Rebecca's family (Gen.24:42-46). These events must be significant if Torah tells us the events in three different contexts, all of which are in the same chapter.

        The servants' criteria are quite eye-opening. A woman that shows kindness to the stranger, a lowly servant, the embodiment of the vulnerable. The woman showed kindness to the stranger by offering him water and then providing water to his camels without having to be asked. Neither demonstrating fear of a stranger, concern for her safety, Rebecca's sole focus was upon the well-being of the “other”, in this case, Avraham’s servant. Such a selfless woman, with a genuine concern for the “other”, must be the right person for his master’s son because similar qualities are manifest in his master’s character. The servant doesn’t worry about looks, her family's character, and behavior, success in school, or anything else. Just one simple act of Gemilut Chasadim, of Loving Kindness, is the sole criteria for choosing a mate. Ms. Haugen must have had role models, perhaps her parents, teachers, or mentors with tremendous character, a powerful moral code, and concern for the welfare of others. Clearly, Ms. Haugen learned those lessons, internalized them, made those qualities part of her character, and when confronted with an injustice, she blew a whistle in an attempt to make the world a bit safer and a bit better than it was before. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Walk Out Of Any Doorway; Feel Your Way Like The Day Before (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh "Box of Rain")

            I just spent two weeks in quarantine, after I drove my twenty-year-old daughter to the University of Maryland. While down in my basement, reading books, working out on my elliptical machine, and watching the news as well as assorted Netflix movies, my daughters knew that I was always home and available for them. In the late mornings, our eighteen-year-old daughter would Whatsapp video call me from Israel. She would tell me about her classes her voice filled with excitement her face full of enthusiasm. Later on, in the early part of the afternoon, I would receive a WhatsApp message or video call from our twenty-year-old. If it was a video call, invariably she would be walking across the campus, coming from a class, her physical therapy session, or a store. Always wearing a mask, her voice too was filled with excitement to be on a big-time college campus, excited to be living in an apartment and thankful for schlepping her down to the University of Maryland. Later in the evening, I would send a message to our eldest daughter. I know that she is incredibly busy trying to get her candidate elected to the United States Congress. Usually, she would respond on a video call as well, prefacing our call by informing me that she only has a few minutes to spare because she is so busy. The campaign will be done next week. Although she looks so tired that I worry about her, her voice is also filled with excitement and passion, her face resolute as she guides a campaign to its ultimate goal.  

          This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland, and everything he has ever known, and go towards a place that God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of traveling.

            The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close or proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World, however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is called a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.

            Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. Abram walked and traveled, and so did Lot. Yet Abram epitomized the individual who retained his integrity and ideals despite the difficulties of life, and despite the growing cynicism brought on by age. Abram managed to remember that God is the end and everything else is merely a means to that end. However, all the wealth and all the prosperity are not ends in and of itself. Our daughters have left home,  They are making their way. They may have left home but not the value with which they have been raised. They may have left home, but they brought with them the lessons they have learned and applied it to their lives, their studies, and their jobs. They may have left home but wherever they are and whatever they do, they do so with the passion and joy that can only exist when they choose their respective paths. I only hope our son demonstrates the same passion and joy in whatever path he chooses.

Peace,

Rav Yitz 

Walk Into Splintered Sunlight; Inch Your Way Through Dead Dreams To Another Land (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh - "Box Of Rain")

Our seventeen year old has come down with a sickness that strikes students in their final year of High School and University. It became particularly acute this past week as my daughter and I attended University Night at her high school. About a dozen universities made presentations to parents and students suffering from the disease known as “Senioritis”. Judging from how well attended University Night was; it is apparent that “Senioritis” is quite prevalent in our daughter's class. “Senioritis” tends to strike high school students in their final year, and it is marked by a keen and profound desire to leave home. Whether the desire is to go away for a gap year and return home for university, or to actually leave for a four-year university; there is an expectation of “going away”, or embarking on a journey. In some cases, it means going far away, and in some cases, it may mean being only an hour away. The desire to get out of the parents’ home is so powerful, that life with the 12^th grader can be quite strained. When suffering from “Senioritis”, long-established family rules are questioned, parents are considered to be overbearing and impossible to deal with. The 12^th grader walks around frequently aggravated and muttering under his/her breath: “I can’t wait to get out of here.” Senioritis is most dangerous when the student has not yet been accepted to a college/university or gap year program because of the pressure to academically succeed and apply remains. All the while, the student still struggles with the profound and overbearing desire to finally leave high school. 

This week’s Parsha offers an excellent example of the first steps towards independence, the natural need for re-assurance, and mutual trust and faith between a parent and child. Many events occur in Parshat Lech Lecha. Included among these are: Abram leaving his birthplace, traveling down to Egypt and becoming wealthy, separating from Lot, his brother’s son and last blood relative, fight in a battle and killing those men responsible for territorial instability, fathering a son by his wife’s handmaid (with his wife’s approval), and finally circumcising himself at age 99 and all the males in his household, including his son Ishmael.

In this Parsha, so many things happen to Avram. He is forever running ahead of God; He is forever living life and making decisions. Avram is forever wondering if he is indeed “doing the right thing”.  Like any good parent, God allows Avram to “run ahead”, be independent, and still offer the necessary parental reassurance.  Noach’s relationship was very different than Avraham’s. Noach walked with God suggesting an image of a parent holding a baby’s hands as he/she learns to walk.  Regarding Avram, the Torah says: “And the Lord appeared before Avram and said- Ani El Shaddai Hithaleich Lefanai Veheyei Tamim - I am El Shaddai; walk before Me and be perfect (17:1). Avram is spiritually more evolved; he can walk ahead. However, even when we allow our children to run ahead of us, or give them more and more independence, we still reassure them that we are part of their lives, and everything will work itself out. Six times Avram receives fatherly assurance in the form of a covenant. Ironically, the first time we read of this assurance is immediately following Avram’s father’s death. God tells Avram to leave his birthplace and he will become a great nation (12:2).  God reassures Avram a second time while Avram, literally, walks ahead of God and keeps going until God tells him where to stop. God reiterates his covenant to Avram (12:7), thereby reassuring Avram. God reassures Avram after he made the difficult decision of separating from the last vestiges of his family of origin, Lot (his brother’s son). By re-iterating his covenant (13:14), God reassures Avram that although the decision was painful, it was correct. After worrying whether he behaved appropriately by fighting against the five kings, God re-iterates and reassures Avram a fourth time (15:4). Avram receives re-assurance a fifth time after he drives away the birds of prey that ruined the sacrifice he made to God (15:13). Avram’s sixth reassurance occurs after making the difficult decision of sending away his firstborn son Ishmael.      

Avram walks ahead of God knowing that God is always around to reassure him. Ultimately this type of relationship breeds a strong sense of security, trust, and faith in the parent figure. Faith breeds more faith and trust breeds more trust. Certainly, our 12th-grade daughter might think that she is ready to begin her own version of Lech Lecha. Yet about some things, she still needs to walk with her parents and, believe it or not, still wants to walk with her parents. About other things, her frustration and aggravation with us is merely an expression of the fact that she wants to walk on ahead of us. In those cases, it is quite clear that her “Senioritis” has spread to us because there are moments that we wish she would walk on ahead of us. However, we are acutely aware that in both instances, she is expressing her level of self-confidence to handle the first steps of her own life's path and her lifelong journey.  One thing is for sure, we never stop trying to infuse and teach her so that way when she does walk on ahead, she remains grounded in her values and the lessons that we instilled. Hopefully, as she gets older and well on her journey, her aggravation with her parents will diminish and she will appreciate the wisdom her mother and I gave her. However, I won’t hold my breath.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Hey, Now, Bird, Wouldn't You Rather Die Than Walk This World When You're Born To Fly? (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Liberty")

Our seventeen year old has come down with sickness that strikes students in their final year of High School and University. This sickness is extremely prevalent in the United States. All of our daughter’s U.S. summer camp friends are coming down with this. I remember having an awful case of it when I was a high school senior. From what I can tell, it is also quite prevalent here in Toronto. The sickness is called “Senior-itis”. It strikes students who are in their final year and are ready to move onto to the next chapter. “Senior-itis” and it affects high school seniors (students in their final year of high school); and it has one glaring symptomatic difference from the “Senior-itis” that strikes college/university seniors. "Senior-itis" for a college/university senior is more about getting on with the next chapter of life, whether it be graduate school or work.  However "Senior-itis" that strikes the High School student is marked by a keen and profound desire to leave home. A college/university senior has already left home. High School senior can’t stand being home. There is an expectation of “going away” for school. In some cases it means going far away and sometimes it may mean being only an hour away. The desire to get out of the parents’ home is so powerful, that life with the 12^th grader can be quite strained. Suddenly rules are questioned, parents are considered to be overbearing and impossible to deal with. The 12^th grader walks around frequently aggravated and muttering under his/her breath: “I can’t wait to get out of here.” While all this is perfectly normal and natural, it does carry one enormous risk. It is much safer to have "Senior-itis" when the senior has already been accepted to University or at least a gap year program. Why? "Senior-itis" also affects the 12^th grader’s attitude towards school. "Senior-itis" is most dangerous when the student has not yet been accepted because there is still the pressure to academically succeed and apply, all the while dealing with the overbearing desire to leave home.  One should keep in mind that depending on the behavior of the 12^th grader, the symptoms can spread. Not only to younger siblings but more importantly, it can spread to us parents. The more the 12^th grader becomes impossible; the more the parents can’t wait for the child to get accepted, graduate high school and actually leave. Obviously some parents may be more affected than others. In our home for example, I have become quite vulnerable to our 12^th graders’ case of "Senior-itis". Like her, I also can’t wait for her to leave. However, her mother seems completely invulnerable and can’t stand the idea that she wants to leave.

This week’s Parsha offers an excellent example of the first steps towards independence, the natural need for re-assurance, and mutual trust and faith between a parent and child. Many events occur in Parshat Lech Lecha. Included among these are: Abram leaving his birthplace, traveling down to Egypt and becoming wealthy, separating from Lot, his brother’s son and last blood relative, fight in a battle and killing those men responsible for territorial instability, fathering a son by his wife’s handmaid (with his wife’s approval), and finally circumcising himself at age 99 and all the males in his household, including his son Ishmael.

In this Parsha, so many things happen to Avram. He is forever running ahead of God; He is forever living life and making decisions. Avram is forever wondering if he is indeed “doing the right thing”.  Like any good parent, God allows Avram to “run ahead”, be independent, and still offer the necessary parental reassurance.  Noach’s relationship was very different than Avraham’s. Noach walked with God suggesting an image of a parent holding a baby’s hands as he/she learns to walk.  Regarding Avram, the Torah says: “And the Lord appeared before Avram and said- Ani El Shaddai Hithaleich Lefanai Veheyei Tamim - I am El Shaddai; walk before Me and be perfect (17:1). Avram is spiritually more evolved; he can walk ahead. However even when we allow our children to run ahead of us, or give them more and more independence, we still reassure them that we are part of their lives, and everything will work itself out. Six times Avram receives fatherly assurance in the form of a covenant. Ironically, the first time we read of this assurance is immediately following Avram’s father’s death. God tells Avram to leave his birthplace and he will become a great nation (12:2).  God reassures Avram a second time while Avram, literally, walks ahead of God and keeps going until God tells him where to stop. God re-iterates his covenant to Avram (12:7), thereby reassuring Avram. God reassures Avram after he made the difficult decision of separating from the last vestiges of his family of origin, Lot (his brother’s son). By re-iterating his covenant (13:14), God reassures Avram that although the decision was painful, it was correct. After worrying whether he behaved appropriately by fighting against the five kings, God re-iterates and reassures Avram a fourth time (15:4). Avram receives re-assurance for a fifth time after he drives away the birds of prey that ruined the sacrifice he made to God (15:13). Avram’s sixth reassurance occurs after making the difficult decision of sending away his first born son Ishmael.      

Avram walks ahead of God knowing that God is always around to re-assure him. Ultimately this type of relationship breeds a strong sense of security, trust and faith in the parent figure. Faith breeds faith and trust breeds trust. Certainly, our 12^th grade daughter might think that she is ready to begin her own version of Lech Lecha. Yet about some things, she still needs to walk with her parents and, believe it or not, still wants to walk with her parents. About other things, her frustration and aggravation with us is merely an expression of the fact that she wants to walk on ahead of us. In both instances, she is telling us about her level of self-confidence to handle the first steps of her path and her lifelong journey.  One thing is for sure, as parents, we never stop trying to infuse and teach her so that way when she does walk on ahead, she remains grounded in her values and the lessons that she learned. Hopefully as she gets older and she is well on her journey her aggravation with her parents will diminish and she will appreciate the wisdom that we have given her.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Saw A Bird With A Tear In His Eye Walking To New Orleans My Oh My (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Liberty")

This has been an unusually crazy, anxiety ridden week. In the macro sense, there has been an election. As painful, as frequently embarrassing that the campaign has been, the President elect has merely taken the first step, the first step of governing a highly divided, suspicious and angry people with very deep divisions in terms of social values, economic values, and vision for the country. In the micro sense, my father had knee replacement surgery late last week, however there have been several complications (nothing to do with his new knee) that have forced him back into the hospital. Interestingly enough my father voted prior to this knee replacement surgery, however my mother had to leave her husband’s side and run out and vote. My father had anticipated that a week after the surgery, he would be standing, and even taking a few steps. Instead he is lying in bed, dealing with several a post-operative complications that has made the recovery, that much slower and that much more difficult. In both situations, a country and an individual, it seems that both will have to learn to walk again.

This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of traveling.

            The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is call a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.

            Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. Abram walked and traveled, and so did Lot. Yet Abram epitomized the individual who retained his integrity and ideals despite the difficulties of life, and despite the growing cynicism brought on by age. Abram managed to remember that God is the end and everything else is merely a means to that end. However all the wealth and all the prosperity are not ends in and of itself. We are all commanded to leave our homes, our birthplaces and face the world. We are all commanded to face the challenges of this World and retain our integrity, our ideals and our sense of purpose. That goes for individuals who have to learn to walk following knee replacement surgery as well as entire nations who have to learn to walk together under the new leadership of a President-Elect. The challenge is to enter the physical and material world and retain the priorities consistent with the world from where our Neshamah, our soul came, the spiritual world. For my father, he will have to keep his goals for recovery squarely before him, maintain his sense of humor and do the work. For the United States, it will require an inspired inclusive vision embodying the Constitution with a goal towards a future so that no one is left behind.

 Peace,

  Yitz