And I Told Her My Story; I Told Her What Was Going On (Grateful Dead - "Caution: Do Not Stop On Tracks)

           Despite the rising tide of antisemitism, despite the cesspool of anti-semitic tropes that one finds on Twitter, despite all the anti-semitic conspiracy theories found in the extreme parts of the Alt-Right universe and the anti-Israel rhetoric of the extreme Left political universe, I found tremendous comfort in the middle. Two weeks ago, the State of Pennsylvania elected a “Left of Center” Jewish Governor. Josh Shapiro was recently elected Governor by receiving the greatest amount of votes for a Governor in state history.  He ran against a candidate who espoused White Christian Nationalism, supported the January 6th Capitol Riot, and believed that a woman has no right to an abortion under any circumstance. Josh Shapiro grew up attending Jewish Days School and attending shul with his father. He and his wife send their children to Day School and celebrate Shabbat and the Jewish Holidays. When Josh campaigned, he told a story that people were familiar with. He told a story. He told an aspirational story of a nation founded upon the principles of religious freedom. He told the aspirational story of a nation struggling to guarantee and protect the rights and freedoms of all its citizens. He reminded the voters that the future of their community and state is premised upon expanding rights, freedoms, and liberties. Josh’s story reminded everyone of the past and spoke of a future that was both inspirational and aspirational.

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah, “the Life of Sarah”. It is a rather odd name for a Parsha that discusses’ Sarah’s death, and Avraham’s funeral preparations including a eulogy, crying, and the purchase of land for burial. The focus then shifts from Sarah’s death and Avraham’s caring for her to Avraham’s son Yitzchak and getting on with his life. Avraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Yitzchak from among his ancestors. The servant head back to Avraham’s homeland, he asks God for a sign so that he knows which girl is the right one for his master’s son. He finds the girl and convinces her to return with him, the girl leaves home and heads back with the servant to meet her new husband and her father–in–law. They get married. Avraham takes a wife and lives quietly in retirement. The Parsha concludes with Avraham’s death and the death of his eldest son Ishmael.

          Structurally, the Parsha is rather peculiar. Between the narrative of Sarah’s death and funeral and the narrative of Avraham and Ishmael’s deaths exists a narrative affirming life.  A father arranges to find a wife for his son. A young woman, Rivkah,  leaves home and marries Avraham’s son Yitzchak, a man who had a near-death experience when his father tried to offer him as a sacrifice and who is dealing with the death of his mother.  This life-affirming narrative is told in three different ways. The first narrative occurs when Avraham tells his servant what to do: Return to the ancestral homeland, find a girl from the tribe, and bring her back so that Yitzchak can marry her. The second narrative is Avraham’s plan coming to fruition. The servant returns to Avraham’s homeland, he prays to God for a sign that he should pick the right girl, he meets the girl and then meets the family. The third narrative is the servant recounting the narrative beginning with Avraham’s presenting the servant with this sacred task. Why does the Torah present this narrative in three different ways and from three different perspectives: Avraham’s plan, Avraham’s servant (Eliezer) fulfilling the mission, and Eliezer explaining all these events to Rebecca’s family? Why all the details? The Torah could have told of Avraham’s plan and even included the events that allowed Eliezer to fulfill the plan. Certainly, we don’t need to read Eliezer’s recounting of events to Rebecca’s family. The Torah could have said: “And Eliezer told her family all that happened.” Maybe we read the narratives’ reiteration gets us to look at it in more than just a cursory manner. The more we look at it, and hear about it, the more we begin to realize just how miraculous the whole story is. Maybe the narrative’s reiteration reminds us that the focus should be on life-affirming events rather than death-affirming events.  Maybe the subliminal message and the reason for the narrative’s reiteration is the sanctity of the narrative. Yitzchak was dealing with lots of death, as was Avraham. Generally, death marks the end of a narrative. For Yitzchak and Rebecca, both of whom were about to begin a new stage of life together, they needed to have a new narrative, their narrative. For the narrative to be effective it had to include the past and an origin, it needs to embody a point to a possible future, it needs to embody fundamental values, and it needs to have a way of being transmitted.

          The ability to create a narrative and share it is an incredibly important part of life. A narrative connects the past, present, and future. A narrative provides attributes meaning by adeptly connecting seemingly disparate events. Whether it was a servant’s narrative that spoke of miracles and God’s presence, or a gubernatorial candidate’s narrative on the broad themes of liberty and freedom as expressed in casting a ballot; narratives connect people allowing them to create community, purpose, and meaning.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

I Can Hear The Siren's Call It's A Certain Sort Of Sound; And The Rain Falling Down (John Barlow & Bob Weir -"Saint of Circumstance")

           Over the past few weeks, Frances Haugen,  a former data scientist at Facebook, revealed how the company’s algorithm amplifies misinformation, anger, inflammatory divisive speech: all of which ultimately corrodes the foundations of a democratic society. She explained this to newspapers, and with numerous documents that she copied prior to leaving Facebook, she testified to this before a Senate subcommittee. Earlier this week, she appeared before the British Parliament to testify as well. Since she went public with her story and documents, others have and will continue to come forward testifying to the toxic environment that Facebook creates with its algorithm, its disdain for public safety, and its avarice and greed with revenue generation as its only goal. It takes a certain type of person to have the courage, the strength of character, a strong moral code,  to be a whistleblower. I don’t think Ms. Haugen began her career as a data scientist aspiring to become a whistleblower.  Nor do I think that one becomes a whistleblower for selfish reasons. It is a rather selfless and lonely endeavor that illustrates a concern for the greater good and concern for the vulnerable.

        This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial, and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, his servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. The servant wants to know how to determine the appropriate girl for his master's son. Avraham answers that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels, and plenty of wealth for a dowry, the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

        The story of the Yitzchak and Rebecca's courtship is one of the more unique stories in Torah. Three times we read of the servant’s test or criteria for determining a wife for his master’s son. The first mention occurs when the servant prays to God that a girl offers water to him and his camels. Vayomer Adonai Elohei Adoni Avraham Hakrei Nah Lfanai Hayom V'Asei Chesed Im Adoni Avraham - And he said, " Lord, God of my master Avraham, may you so arrange it for me this day that you do kindness with my master Abraham, See, I stand here by the spring of water and the daughters of the townsmen come out to draw. Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say 'Please tip over your jug so I may drink', and who replies, 'Drink, and I will even water your camels,'…. (Gen 24:12-14) The second telling of this story is when it actually occurs. (Gen 24:15-21) The third telling of the story occurs when the servant tells it for the first time to Rebecca's family (Gen.24:42-46). These events must be significant if Torah tells us the events in three different contexts, all of which are in the same chapter.

        The servants' criteria are quite eye-opening. A woman that shows kindness to the stranger, a lowly servant, the embodiment of the vulnerable. The woman showed kindness to the stranger by offering him water and then providing water to his camels without having to be asked. Neither demonstrating fear of a stranger, concern for her safety, Rebecca's sole focus was upon the well-being of the “other”, in this case, Avraham’s servant. Such a selfless woman, with a genuine concern for the “other”, must be the right person for his master’s son because similar qualities are manifest in his master’s character. The servant doesn’t worry about looks, her family's character, and behavior, success in school, or anything else. Just one simple act of Gemilut Chasadim, of Loving Kindness, is the sole criteria for choosing a mate. Ms. Haugen must have had role models, perhaps her parents, teachers, or mentors with tremendous character, a powerful moral code, and concern for the welfare of others. Clearly, Ms. Haugen learned those lessons, internalized them, made those qualities part of her character, and when confronted with an injustice, she blew a whistle in an attempt to make the world a bit safer and a bit better than it was before. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz

It Speaks Of A Life That Passes Like Dew (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Black Throated Wind")

           With a daughter spending a gap year learning in Israel, we get phone calls at rather odd times. One of the odd times she decides to call is at the conclusion of Shabbat in Israel. Knowing that she can only leave a message, our daughter will call, inform us of her Shabbat experience. If she was spending Shabbat away from her Seminary, she will call to let us know that she is safely home. If there was important news that occurred late Friday night or on Saturday eastern standard time, she will tell us what we might have missed. Last Shabbat was no different than any other Shabbat since she has been in Israel. While we were eating Shabbat lunch here in Toronto, our daughter called and told us that Joe Biden was now the President-Elect. In our home, we were thankful and hopeful that there might be a new beginning,  as these troubling and chaotic four years draw to an inevitable conclusion. Ten minutes later, that hope, that sense of a new beginning, and new opportunity burst as our daughter called again. This time she called to tell us that Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, the former Chief Rabbi of England, passed away. The Jewish people and indeed the world lost a brilliant intellect, and an empathetic soul,  teacher of Jewish texts, and perhaps the greatest ambassador of Modern Orthodox Judaism,  western morality, ethics, and philosophy. Within ten minutes of our Shabbat lunch, there was life and death, joy and grief, light, and darkness. 

         This Shabbat is Parsha Chayei Sarah. In Chayei Sarah, life and death appear almost simultaneously.  We read of Sarah’s death in terms of life: “Sarah’s lifetime was…” (Gen23:1). Then Avraham prepares for his wife’s burial. Next, Avraham concentrates his focus upon the perpetuation of life. He sends his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for his son. He sends his servant, Eliezer, to find a matriarch that can fill the void left by Sarah’s death. Rivkah embodied this notion of life and legacy. These qualities are inherent to her character. Rivkah offered water, a symbol of both life and Torah, to Eliezer. Then she offered water to Eliezer’s camels thereby demonstrating her menschlekite. Rivkah also possessed the ability to sustain life. She sustained Eliezer’s life by allowing him to accomplish his mission and return to Avraham with a wife for Yitzchak. She sustained her own life by having the wherewithal and the strength to leave her family, a family which our sages suggest were cutthroats and cheats (Genesis Rabbah 63:4), and join a family that made a covenant with God. Ultimately she brought sustenance and comfort to Yitzchak when they both entered his mother’s tent. 

          After Eliezer received water from this girl, we are told her name, Rivkah. Her name is indicative of her character. Her name also suggests an inherent ability to join seemingly disparate events or ideas such as life and death and make meaning from it. The Hebrew root of her name (RVK) means “join”, or “yoked together”, e.g. two oxen are joined together to pull a plow. The team must be of equal strength or the plow won’t go straight. Therefore Rivkah must be equally as strong as and independent as Yitzchak. Rivkah must be strong enough to take the memory and legacy of Sarah and make it her own. This requires a very strong sense of self.              

Rivkah fills the spiritual vacuum created by Sarah’s death. Rivka will also become  Avraham in the sense that just like God shared with Avraham the prophecy; God will share the prophecy of  Rivkah’s two sons with Rivkah (Parsha Toldot). Like Avraham, Rivka is the bridge between this family’s current state of affairs and future spiritual holiness. “And Yitzchak brought her into the tent of his mother; he married Rivkah, she became his wife, and he loved her; and thus was Yitzchak consoled after his mother.” (Gen 24:67)  The Rabbis explain that while Sarah lived a cloud of glory hung over her tent, her tent was known for hospitality, and a lamp remained alit from Shabbat to Shabbat. When Sarah died all these qualities died with her. However, when Rivkah was brought into the tent of his mother, all these qualities returned (Genesis Rabbah 60:16). Besides perpetuating life, she perpetuated the spiritual holiness necessary for joining Yitzchak in God’s covenant. Only Rivkah was able to fill the powerful memory of Sarah and still prevent herself from being overwhelmed by such a memory, joining the legacy of Sarah to her own being and her marriage to Yitzchak.  Only Rivkah was able to join the generation of Avraham and Sarah with the next generation. Fittingly, the Parshah ends as it began, with death. However, now read of Avraham’s death.  

          Rivkah took the legacy, the Middot, the qualities of the deceased, of Sarah, and (RVK)  joined those qualities, aspects, and Middot to her life. She accomplished this monumental task when she and her husband Yitzchak entered his mother’s tent and she brought him comfort. At that moment Rivkah managed to demonstrate life and death can converge, that joy and sorrow can be linked, that past and present can intersect resulting in something spiritually powerful as opposed to spiritually debilitating.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

The Story Teller Makes No Choice, Soon You Will Not Hear His Voice; His Job Is To Shed Light (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- Terrapin Station Suite/Lady With The Fan)

All week, our children have had a lesson in Civics. They have been watching the Impeachment hearings. I recorded them because I wanted to watch the testimony of Lt. Colonel Alexander Vindiman. Vindman is Jewish. In 1978, following his mother’s death, his father, and brothers emigrated from Kyiv, which was then part of the former Soviet Union and settled in an area of Brooklyn, NY known as “Little Odessa”.  He and his brother’s all served in the U.S. Armed Forces. During Vindman’s testimony, there were several moments when my children became aware that he was Jewish. First, there was his father’s value of making sure his children “got a good education”.  Second, there was Vindman’s testimony. It wasn’t so much a testimony but rather a narrative He was given the opportunity to provide testimony. Vindman didn’t just offer testimony. He offered a narrative to the House Intel committee. We heard about a plan (everything leading up to the “perfect phone call”), his experience as the plan unfolds (his listening to the “perfect phone call”), and finally his re-telling of these events both in his deposition in his testimony.  Finally, there was a moment towards the end of his testimony where he was asked to re-read an excerpt from his opening statement. In the excerpt he was asked to read, he thanked his father for bringing the family to America and that his father shouldn’t worry about his son testifying before the House Intelligence Committee, and that he would be safe because he was speaking the truth.  

This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, the servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. Avraham explains that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels and plenty of wealth for a dowry the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family, he convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

Three different times and in three different contexts we read about a father’s desire to find a wife for his son and then we read about that desire being fulfilled.  First, Avraham tells his servant Eliezer to swear an oath to find a wife for Yitzchak. Then we read about Eliezer actually finding the future wife for his master’s son, Yitzchak. Finally, we read about Eliezer’s transmitting the first two narratives to the future bride’s family since they are about to be impacted by both Avraham’s desire for his son to find a wife and their daughter’s decision to become that wife. Each narrative contains numerous details and descriptions. Yet the narrative that immediately preceded this week’s Parsha, the narrative that Jewish tradition points to as the foundational essence of a people’s relationship to God, the Akedah, and The Binding of Isaac is a scant nineteen verses and numerous details aren’t even included. In this one long narrative divided into three subsections, we are told of specific conversations, prayers, jewelry as well as gifts for Rebecca’s family.  Why does the Torah tell the story of how a couple met in three different ways, the third being a recapitulation of previous events by the servant. The only other time we read of a detailed recapitulation of a narrative is when Moshe speaks to B’nai Yisroel when they are on the eastern bank of the Jordan River and preparing to enter into Eretz Canaan. The RaDaK (Rabbi David Kimchi- Provence, France 1160-1235) explains that Eliezer’s recapitulation serves to placate Rebecca and her family. Avraham’s servant speaks candidly and enthusiastically of his master and his master’s household. Eliezer’s re-capitulation hints at  Avraham’s character as well as the very unique covenant established between him and God. Only by transmitting this message, this story in a face to face manner, Rebecca’s family understands the significance and the necessity of Rebecca leaving her family of origin for her future with Yitzchak.

Creating a narrative is important for individuals and for nations. Eliezer’s re-capitulation to Rebecca’s family and indeed, to the reader serves to placate Rebecca, her family and us. Lt. Colonel Vindman’s testimony, his recapitulation of his story, his narrative, including his background and his upbringing, was designed to placate those for whom he had the greatest respect. His testimony, the narrative that he offered and the way in which he provided it was designed to placate his family, his father, in order to re-affirm to his father that he did the right thing raising his children in a democratic nation based on the rule of law, truth, and liberty. His testimony, the narrative he offered and the way in which he offered it was designed to placate. The testimony placated his teachers and those who wore the uniform. Finally, his testimony, his narrative was designed to placate those who buy into the “American Dream” as understood by his father. After the inspiring and comforting words that the Lt. Colonel offered his father and the rest of his family the gallery applauded. We watched, and our children commented that Lt. Colonel Vindman's father should be very proud and hopefully “shevved a lot of nachas”.

Peace,

Rav Yitz