Look Through Time, It's For Sure, It's The Greatest Gift To Man (Willie Dixon, Bob Weir, & Rob Wasserman - "Eternity")

          I remember when I was a college student (approximately 35 years ago) the end of January and the beginning of February marked the time of year that my father made arrangements for the payment of 2nd-semester tuition. Also, this was always the time of year that I told my parents and grandparents about my 2nd-semester courses. Twenty-one years after I graduated,  our eldest daughter headed off to University. The pattern continued. Around this time of year, I made arrangements for 2nd-semester tuition to be paid. Thankfully, we set aside a portion of savings for college/university. Our eldest daughter would dutifully call me, her grandparents and great-grandfather, and tell us about her 2nd-semester courses.  Back then, when I would speak to our eldest daughter’s grandparents, and great-grandfather, they would kvell with pride, saying “it is money well spent to see our grandaughter/ great-grandaughter thrive at university.” Despite the U.S. dollar price tag, I agreed with them.  Now, thirty-five years after I graduated from college, the grandparents have grown older and the great grandfather has been deceased for nearly ten years.  Two more daughters both attend university and the family has been setting aside a portion of savings. Once again, as January concluded and February began I made arrangements for two 2nd semester tuitions to be paid.  Both daughters routinely call and speak with us (the parents) and their grandparents, telling us about their classes and college life. Whenever I speak to our kids' grandparents and we talk about how their college-age granddaughters, both grandfather, and grandmother “kvell”, beaming that “it is money well spent to see their grandaughters intellectually and emotionally thrive. Despite the steep price tag, I agree with them. 

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Terumah. In it, Moshe has re-ascended the mountain in order to receive the laws, and the blueprint, if you will, for the construction of the Mishkan, the portable tabernacle that will eventually permit B’nai Yisroel to gather, to make offerings to God, and to provide a physical dwelling for God. If you are an architect, or if you are an interior decorator, this Parsha goes into tremendous detail about Mishkan’s construction and decoration. More than anything, this Parsha is all about fundraising, financial development, and a  community getting behind a concrete common cause as opposed to the shared experience of revelation or shared words of the law.

          Before all the detail are presented for construction and decoration, God commands Moshe to tell B’nai Yisroel that the funding for this vital public works project will come from each individual V’Yikchu Li Terumah Mei’eit Kol Ish Asher Yidvenu Libo Tikechu et Terumati – They shall take for Me a portion, from every man whose heart motivates him, you shall take my portion (Ex. 25:2). The holiest spot within the community, the most sacred area is based upon each and every individual apportioning a percentage of their assets to the construction of, decoration of, and maintenance of the Mishkan. How incredibly equitable! Everyone is involved and everyone has a stake in the outcome. All this fundraising success occurs as a result of Yidvenu Libo- literally, he will donate according to his heart. This is not a tax. These funds were to be raised by voluntary donations. The Or Hachayim (Rabbi Chaim Ibn Attar 18th century Moroccan Talmudist, Torah Commentator, and Kabbalist) explains that three phrases, three expressions correspond to three degrees of “gifts”/ “donations”.  He explains that the phrase: Mei’eit Kol Ish, from every man, appears superfluous. The verse could have easily been written without it so that the new verse would have read: They shall take for me a portion from anyone whose heart motivates (from anyone willing to donate), you shall take my portion. Why is the phrase necessary? The verse speaks of “Terumah -gift” and “Terumati – my gift.” The term “my gift” cannot be used except when the donor has done so willingly. The donor could not have been coerced. According to the Midrash, this Mishkan, this “mobile worship station” was a form of atonement for Golden Calf (Jerusalem Talmud Shekalim 1:5). This phrase “from every man” indicates that each individual person made a donation (an offering) above and beyond the designated “atonement tax”.  “From every man” also indicates that economic station and social status were irrelevant. The motivation was based upon “one’s heart” and not some external authority.

          The value of setting aside “a portion” was meant as a mechanism for B’nai Yisroel to participate in the relationship with God.  For a family, setting aside a portion as a gift towards children and grandchildren’s college education was instilled by my grandfather. He never went to college. He barely went to high school since he had to help support his family. He used to explain that the greatest gift he received was witnessing and listening to his children and grandchildren become educated adults. I think he would be proud to know that his legacy continues. Parents and grandparents continue to experience nachas, (joy and pride) in witnessing and listening to children and grandchildren become university-educated adults. Indeed, the ability to give them “their” gift has been an incredibly meaningful gift for us.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

   

I Guess That Can't Revoke Your Soul For Trying; Get Out Of The Door, Light Out, and Look All Around (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh, & Bob Weir- "Truckin'")

           Frequently, our 17-year-old son confides that he can’t wait to finish high school, spend a gap year in Israel and then head off to university preferably out of town. When he tells me this, I smile since I felt the same way many years before. Lately, when we sit down to Shabbat dinner, he will say “this is my last  Shabbat of Parsha such and such before I leave home.” His mother immediately states that she cannot believe it and urges him not to rush away her time with him.  Although he says it in a kind and loving way, he clearly looks forward to moving on to the next chapter of his life. While we would love for our son to remain close by, intellectually we understand the importance of a child leaving home and making his/her way in the world. We find it reassuring that for years now, universities such as Harvard and Yale to name a few, preferred that their incoming freshman take a gap year in order for the student to mature and be more prepared for living away from home.  

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeitze. The narrative focuses upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father, Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will contend with being alone. He will learn to be an independent individual. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father-in-law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov’s life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living, and all the trials, tribulations, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, eventually, he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Through trial and error, Yaakov will figure out to whom he should spiritually cling: Esav, his parents, Lavan, his wives, and God.

          At the conclusion of the previous Parsha, Parsha Toldot, we read that Yitzchak and Rivkah instructed Yaakov to go to Padan- Aram, to the house of Bethuel (Rivkah’s father’s home) and take a wife from there. We would expect Parsha VaYeitze to begin with Yaakov heading to Padan- Aram. Instead, VaYeitze begins: VaYeitze Yaakov M’Beer Sheva VaYeilech Charana – Yaakov departed from Beer Sheva and went toward Charan.  VaYifga BaMakom and he experienced and encounter (Gen 28:10-11) If Yaakov’s ultimate destination is Padan Aram and Rebecca’s family of origin, why does the Torah explain that Yaakov stopped at Charan and experienced an encounter? Did Yaakov stop in Charan intentionally in order to have an “encounter”? Or was his stopover in Charan and the ensuing “encounter”  unintentional. Clearly, if the Torah is taking the time to explain Yaakov’s itinerary and the resulting “encounter” during his stopover, then it must be important. Yaakov has never been away from home. He was supposed to head toward his mother’s family, the same family that Rivkah knew enough to leave when she was younger.  Like his mother, Yaakov must leave his family of origin in order to preserve his life.  However, the reason for Rebecca’s departure and the reason  Yaakov’s departure were very different. In Toldot, Yaakov was described as Ish Tam  Yoshev Ohalim – a simple man [of faith] who dwells in tents (Gen. 19;27) The Talmudic Sages explain that Yaakov’s dwelling in the tent meant that he spent time in his parent’s tents studying and learning. However, no amount of learning would prepare him for what he would contend with when dealing with Rivka’s family and particularly his uncle Lavan.  Rabbi Kamenetsky, (1891-1986), explained that prior to arriving in Paddan Aram, Yaakov stopped in Charan to learn from Shem and Eber. Shem was Noah’s son and Eber from the generation of the Tower of Bavel. Both were considered righteous and wise men who lived in unsavory environments and managed to retain their sense of righteousness. Yaakov sought their practical wisdom prior to his encounter with Lavan, becoming independent, and maturing in an unsavory environment.   As a result of Yaakov’s diversion, Yaakov understands that he must maintain a relationship with God, and he understands that he will need to find his way home when the time is right.

          For Yaakov, he needed to leave his physical home for fear of his physical safety. He was heading towards a place that would test his values and test his ethical code.  Certainly, he took with him the values and the learning that he acquired from his family.  By making a stopover in Haran, by taking time to put into practice the wisdom and the book learning he acquired at home; he had  “an encounter”, that steeled himself for what he would experience with Uncle Lavan.  After the stopover and after the “encounter”, Yaakov took God with him as well as the sense of the land, covenant and a sense of purpose. Certainly, our son has acquired a moral code, a sense of ethics as well as “book learning”. Prior to heading off to four years of university, he understands, appreciates, and looks forward to a gap year, a stopover, to put into practice what he has learned. He looks forward to the “encounter” of studying in Israel, in order to give him a deeper sense of purpose as he continues his intellectual, emotional, and spiritual journey in life. Certainly, our son looks forward to his upcoming departure and I think both my wife and I are comforted knowing that his gap year in Israel will give him the self-confidence and the added focus for dealing with university life.

Peace
Rav Yitz.