When I reached certain milestones in my own life, I never thought much of it. Yes these milestones such as: Bar Mitzvah, graduation, or marriage were sources of joy, pride, and accomplishment. However these milestones never gave me pause to look back out over my life with a sense mortality, or existential angst. However when my children started having their own milestones, such as being born, their first day of school or their Bar/Mitzvah or their graduation; these milestones gave me moments for pause. These milestones reminded me of my own mortality. These milestones forced me to wonder how will I afford a Bat Mitzvah, college tuition let alone weddings. These milestones invariably force me to look back over the course of my life and realize that, in some respects, vast spiritual, emotional and physical distances have been traveled and, Im Yirtzeh Hashem (With God’s help) there is more distance left to travel. Just recently, my wife and I have begun on the second Bat Mitzvah Party circuit. Having safely negotiated this with our eldest daughter, we now begin negotiating this phase with our 2nd eldest daughter. Because we have maintained close friendships in both New Jersey and San Diego, our daughter has a wonderful opportunity to acquire frequent flier miles. At least, she hopes that she can acquire frequent flier miles. Her first opportunity came last weekend when she was supposed to go to New Jersey for her first Bat Mitzvah party. Admittedly, I was having a hard time accepting the fact that my wife and I had now entered this stage of parenting. Admittedly I was having a hard time accepting both the cost in dollars and time that this phase of parenting could potentially become. However something happened as she was about to go to New Jersey. The weather failed to cooperate. A freakish snow storm hit South Eastern New York, North Eastern Pennsylvania, and North New Jersey (the exact route we were to take to the Bat Mitzvah). We couldn’t go.
This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of travelling.
The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is call a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.
Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. We are all commanded to leave our homes, our birthplaces and face the world. We are all commanded to face the challenges of this World and retain our integrity, our ideals and our sense of purpose. The challenge is to enter the physical and material world and retain the priorities consistent with the world from where our Neshama, our soul came, the spiritual world. Abram walked and traveled, and so did Lot. Yet Abram epitomized the individual who retained his integrity and ideals despite the difficulties of life, and despite the growing cynicism brought on by age. Abram managed to remember that God is the end and everything else is merely a means to that end. However all the wealth and all the prosperity are not ends in and of itself.
In verse Gen 12:8 we read Va'Yeit Ahalo - "and he [Abram] pitched his tent". Rashi points out that we read "his tent", but it is written as "her tent". This means that he pitched his wife's tent first and only then did he pitch other tents. Also the word tent is written in the singular. For Abram, his travels through life were about first doing for others then for himself. Abram's wealth was only a means of satisfying the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter. Otherwise wealth was to be use for the betterment of his camp, of his family and his tribe. About Lot we are told in Gen. 13:5 that "Lot, who went forth with Abram, had flocks, cattle and tents." Lot had accumulated wealth. He had not used his wealth for any significant or fundamental purpose. Each had to make his way in the world and each had dealt with hardship and each had accumulated wealth. However one remained with God and one chose the fertile valley near Sodom and Gomorrah in order to increase wealth. One handled hardship with grace and dignity never losing faith in God. One drifted so far from God that he eventually chose to live in an utterly amoral community who cared more for his own guests than his own daughters (Gen. 19:6-8).
The realization that I just reached a milestone occurred that evening when we tucked our daughter in to bed. She was a little bit teary eyed and saddened by the fact that we couldn’t bring her to her friend’s party. However our daughter grew up in front of us. She handled the disappointing news with grace and maturity. When I told her how proud I was of her for the way she handled the disappointing news, I realized that this little girl was growing up preparing for her own journey.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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