It never ceases to amaze me that just
when I can catch my breath, when there is a lull in the schedule:, no major
events to plan, no carpooling, and things seem pretty quiet, and I sigh and
think to myself that I have a respite from problems, from enormous expenses, or
a busy schedule; in a blink of an eye that lull is gone and the next storm, the
next crisis, the next batch of hurt feelings, misunderstandings tears me away
from the quiet and the calm. Yes, being the parent of adolescents sometimes
feels like being an eyewitness to a horrible pre-teen soap opera. “She was mean”,
“they didn’t invite me to the party”, and “she was supposed to study with me but
went with another friend instead”. All these ups and downs seem associated with
our daughter and her friends. Cynically speaking, it seems to me that maybe if
she had no friends, then there would not be so many dramatically emotional ups
and downs.
This morning we read from Parshah
Vayeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to
his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life
where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm
and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parshah: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites.
He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many
Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed
his greatness and the subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power.
Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted
to kill him but instead threw him into an empty pit, nor his father who sent
Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen.
37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit, sold as a slave and worked in
home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. The brother’s explain to their father that
Yosef was killed by a wild beast. As a slave, Yosef proved invaluable to the
welfare of the Courtier’s business dealings. Yosef managed everything and the
courtier profited greatly. The courtier’s wife however was a bit bored and made
a pass at Yosef. Yosef put her off and then was accused of sexual harassment
and even rape. Yosef was removed from the home and sent to prison. While in
prison, Yosef again helped run the prison and the prison did well, and the
warden did well. Yosef became known for an ability to interpret dreams. So
there, in prison, Yosef did well and managed to make a life for himself.
Phew! Yosef’s life sounds like a soap
opera. Yosef’s life is full of ups and downs. Yosef was up as a favored son, down when he was
admonished by his father. Yosef was down when he was thrown into a pit by his
brother, and then he was quite literally up when he was removed from the pit.
Then Yosef was quickly down when he was sold into slavery. However he went back
up again when, as a slave, he was also the manager of the courtier’s business
dealings. Yosef was then literally brought down by the courtier’s wife, and
then went further down when he was thrown down into the prison. Yet even in
prison, he enjoyed an elevated status because of his abilities. Yosef’s life
has a certain roller coaster quality to it. He is an individual who has enjoyed
success and experienced failure. He has tasted the joy of life as well as its
bitterness. He has had tremendous gains as well as losses. The ups and downs
are not only confined to the fortune and misfortune of Yosef’s life. Frequently
we read of Yosef going up and going down, ascending and descending in terms of
direction and not only his spirituality. VaYishlcheihu
M’Emek Chevron V’Yavoh ShChema – So he
[Yaakov] sent him [Yosef] from the depth of Hebron, and he arrived at Shechem.
Hebron is in the south and Shechem is in the north, so from the perspective of
direction, Yosef going from south to north or up. However the phrase Emek Chevron is very problematic. Rashi
explains that V’Eilah Chevron B’Har,
“VYaalu B’Negev Ad Chevron (BeMidbar
13:22) – Hebron is situated on a mountain
as it says in Numbers 13:22 ‘they
ascended in the south up to Hebron’. Clearly the language is confused. Clearly
the text is geographically challenged. Maybe those two simple words, Emek Hebron, and those contradictory concepts
Emek Hebron are supposed to teach us
something about the nature of Yosef’s life and our lives.
Maybe it is too much for me to wish
my children’s lives to be quiet and boring. While “quiet” and “boring” suggests
that there is calm and even problem free; the reality is that human beings are
far too complex to have “quiet and boring”. We engage in relationships, we are
social beings, we are spiritual beings. We think and we feel. As one daughter
has started adolescence and one is on the brink, let’s just say that they
socialize more, think more and definitely feel more than those of us who are a
little grayer and a little wiser. Life will always have its ups and downs.
However what Yosef teaches us is that sometimes a perceived down might really
be an up and a perceived up might really be a down. It seems that the key is
how we look at the ups and downs and how we handle those ups and downs.
Peace,
Rav
Yitz
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