Speak With Wisdom Like A Child (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- " Foolish Heart")

It is not frequent when we get to experience a once in a lifetime event. Yet this week, for Jews throughout the United States, and American Jews throughout the world, they will celebrate Thanksgiving and the first day of Chanukah on the same day.  This unique event has been dubbed Thanksgivukuh. Certainly there are all kinds of cute ways to combine these two Holidays. In terms combining foods, I have seen recipes for Cranberry Latkes.  For those who really want to boost their cholesterol count, I am sure there a numerous recipes for frying the Thanksgiving turkey.  I am sure they have even designed a turkey with its tail feathers shaped like a Menorah that can be used for lighting Chanukah candles.  While our children are certainly having fun preparing for Thanksgivukah and are fascinated how mainstream this event has become, when we sit down to celebrate these two very distinct holidays, I am amazed how neatly they fit together. One Holiday focuses upon God’s everyday presence and offering thanks.  One holiday acknowledges God’s presence through the miracles we have witnessed.

This week’s Parsha is Mikeitz. This is Yosef’s coming out party. He is released from prison in order to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. First he informs Pharaoh that God has given him this gift, and then he successfully interprets the two dreams. Pharaoh is so impressed, and so trusting of Yosef, that he makes Yosef his right hand man. He becomes responsible for preparing Egypt for the famine that will occur. When the famine struck Egypt, it also affected Canaan where Yosef’s brothers and father lived. They go down to Egypt seeking relief. Yosef recognizes them, but he does not reveal his identity. Rather he tests their moral growth; he purposefully frames the youngest brother, Benjamin in order to determine whether the brothers would finally protect one of their own. After many years in prison, Yosef finally has the opportunity to exhibit the moral growth of his character, and can evaluate the moral character of others. This Parsha demonstrates the effect that his moral character has upon others.

Throughout the Parsha, Yosef experiences numerous miracles. The wine steward remembers Yosef and recommends him to Pharaoh in order to interpret Pharaoh’s dream. Yosef interprets the dream correctly. Yosef’s plan of manipulating the brothers and getting them to bring all the brothers and later the father (in the next Parsha) can also be viewed as a miracle. It’s one thing for his brother’s and his brother’s, his brother’s descendants and Am Yisroel to read the text and see these miracles. It is quite another thing when the Torah tells us that the Egyptian people could also exclaim their thanks and be aware of the miracle that they were witnessing.  VaYarKeiv Oto B'MirKevet Hamishneh Asher Lo VaYikru L’Fanav “AvReich” V’Naton Oto Al Kol Eretz Mitzrayim – He [Pharaoh] had him [Yosef] ride in his second royal chariot and they proclaimed before him “Avrech!” Thus, he appointed him over all the land of Egypt (Gen. 41:43). Both Pharaoh and the Egyptians not only think very highly of Yosef but they are all keenly aware of this unique man and powerful spirit that now resides in their midst. The people have given him the tile “Avrech”. The Talmudic Midrash explains that AvReich is a composite of two words: Av (father) in wisdom and rach (tender) in terms of years. Indeed several verses later (41:46), the Torah tells us: V’Yosef Ben Shloshim Shanah– Now Joseph was thirty years old. The miracle from the perspective of those who were affected by Yosef and the Thanksgiving that Yosef should be offering to God, was the fact that such a young man, at age 30, had so much wisdom. There are not many 30 year olds who become the second most powerful person in a national superpower. Perhaps the miracle for Yosef was that throughout all of his ups and downs, he was able to learn from all those experiences. Those experiences, coupled with Yosef ability to express himself to Pharaoh suggest that within Yosef’s soul, was a great reservoir of wisdom, so much so that even the Egyptians recognized Yosef’s wisdom “AvReich”.

As we prepare for Thanksgiving and Chanukah in our home, we are all keenly aware of how our children have grown and matured from the previous year. We are both thankful for the fact that we have witnessed their physical, intellectual emotional and spiritual growth. We are aware of the miracle of having arrived at this moment in time and we are able to celebrate it: Baruch Atah Adoshem Elokeinu Melech Ha’Olam Sh’HeChiYanu, V’KiYaManu, V’Higianu LaZMaN HaZeh. Praise be are You O Lord, Our God, Ruler of the Universe who has kept us alive, sustained us and brought us to this season.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

But His Rod And His Staff They Comfort Me (The Grateful Dead "And We Bid You Goodnight")

Our children had an opportunity to spend some time with their grandparents. We had dinner together. Their grandfather seized the rare opportunity of dinner with his son, his daughter in law and three of his grandchildren and turned it into an American History lecture and discussion.  The lesson began with a question aimed at the grandchildren. “Do you know what famous speech was given 150 years ago this week?” I closed my eyes and smiled. My kids looked around and asked if this had to do with American History. Grandpa smiled and nodded yes. A chorus of “Well we haven’t learned any American History since we moved to Canada” erupted. Grandpa calmly smiled and replied “well we have an opportunity to learn some American History right now.” Then he repeated the question, “what famous speech was given 150 years ago this week?” It was Abraham Lincoln’s “The Gettysburg Address”.  For the next 45 minutes, his three grandchildren listened to their grandfather talk about the Civil War, the Battle of Gettysburg, the speech, and the importance of taking the time remember those who gave their lives for a noble idea called freedom. A couple of days later, my son and I watched the speech on YouTube. During the video, they showed the battlefield, the death, and all the graves. My son looked and me and stunned me with his insight when he heard that 50,000 were killed in three days of fighting. “There must have been lots of mothers and fathers who were so sad. Did the President’s speech comfort those parents whose sons died at Gettysburg; did the speech make those parents feel any better?”  

This morning we read from Parshah Vayeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parshah: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and the subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him but instead threw him into an empty pit, nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit, sold as a slave and worked in home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. As a slave, Yosef proved invaluable to the welfare of the Courtier’s business dealings. Yosef managed everything and the courtier profited greatly. The courtier’s wife however was a bit bored and made a pass at Yosef. Yosef put her off and then was accused of sexual harassment. Yosef was sent to prison. While in prison, Yosef helped the warden manage the prison, and the warden did well. Yosef became known for an ability to interpret dreams.

While there were no actual deaths of sons in this week’s Parshah, as far as Jacob was concerned; his favorite son – Yosef had died in the pit. After having sold Yosef into slavery, the brothers conspire to convince their father that Yosef was dead.  They bring Yosef’s Coat of Many Colors as evidence.  Jacob identifies the Yosef’s tunic and then he mourns: VaYiKRa Yaakov Simlotav VYaSem Sak BMaTNav VYitABeiL Al B’No Yamim Rabim – Then Yaakov tore his garments and placed sackcloth on his loins; he mourned for his son many days. In reality, Yaakov was inconsolable   VaYakumu Chol Banav v’Chol B’Notav – All his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, VaYaMaEin LaHitNaCheM – but he refused to comfort himself and said: “ For I will go down to the grave mourning for my son” (Gen. 37:33-36). Clearly Yaakov’s children offered no source of comfort. Yaakov was unable to find any source of comfort to deal with the apparent death of Yaakov.  It seemed that Yosef had died in vain. It seemed that there was no purpose in Yosef’s death. Yaakov was completely bereft; the Torah tells us that he mourned for Yamim Rabim. – Many days.  However anyone who has ever lost a parent has “mourned for many days”: 7 days of Shiva, another 3 weeks and 2 days combined with Shiva makes Shloshim (30 days), and then another 10 months of saying Mourners Kaddish, then another month without mourners Kaddish being said at each daily service, up to the anniversary of the burial constitutes a year of mourning. Yet the Torah, by telling us Yamim Rabim, suggests that Yakov, aveilus (mourning) is even longer. Rashi clarifies and quantifies Yaakov’s deeps sense of grief and loss by citing the Talmud in Megilla 17a which explained that Yaakov mourned for 22 years, until he was re-united with Joseph down in Egypt.

As I thought about my son’s statement regarding the Gettysburg Address, I thought about Yaakov’s Avinu’s mourning for “many days” and unable to “comfort himself”. I answered my son’s questions. For Yaakov, Yosef‘s apparent death seemed utterly in vain, purposeless. Yosef did not die for some noble cause, nor could Yaakov find anything meaningful in his son’s death. As a result, Yaakov was unable to comfort himself.  Sometimes there is comfort in knowing that there was a noble cause worth dying for. When my son heard and understood Lincoln’s words “we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain” he understood that sometimes comfort can be found in the reason for death.

I'm Leaving Today, I'm Going But I Ain't Coming Back (Bill Browning & Jerry Garcia - "Dark Hollow")

          At  48 year of age, with a wife, four children: one in her twenties, one who needs to decide on a high school, one preparing for a bat mitzvah, and one who is just a typical 10 year old boy,  my focus, my energy and my worries are amazingly middle class and family oriented.   I worry about how to afford day school, high school, and university. I worry about our family’s health, our family’s financial welfare. I worry about my work. Socially, I tend to me most comfortable with people who are on a similar path or trajectory.  Many of my childhood friends are on the same trajectory, so that when we speak to each other, or see each other we can reminisce about the past, but we can also share current life experiences because we share this common trajectory.  So even if we don’t see each other for months or years at a time, or even speak to each other  for months at a time,  there is a familiarity because of how long we have known each other as well as dealing with similar worries about family, children etc.  One friend, I would see whenever I visited New York City.  We would spend a couple of hours together and “catch up”. When it came time to leave, we would both say how we should keep in touch and we would wish for the other only good things. However, I knew that I wouldn’t reach out and keep in touch as we were on such different paths; we had very little in common.

This week’s Parsha is VaYishlach. We read about Yaakov and Esav’s reunion. We read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and her unholy tryst with Shechem a member of the Hivvites. We learn of what many consider to be the fanatical response on behalf of her brother Shimon and Levi. Yaakov returns to Bet El, the place where he dreamt of the ladder many years before, builds and altar, and receives the covenant from God. During that process, God changes his name from Yaakov to Yisroel. And while we read about the name change at the very beginning of the Parsha, that name change was given by another being (Gen. 32:29). Rachel dies as well as a wet nurse named Deborah. Finally we read a list of Yaakov’s children as well as Esav’s.

At the time of the re-union, Esav seems very excited to see his Yaakov. VaYaratz Esav Likrato VaChabkeihu VaYiPol Al Tzavarav Vayishakeihu VaYiVKu – And Esav ran toward him [Yaakov] embraced him, fell upon his neck and kissed him; then they wept.  Until the last word of the verse, we had no idea sense of Jacob’s emotions. All the action was with Esav. He ran towards Yaakov and he hugged and he kissed his brother. While we don’t know the true nature of the tears that were shed, Rabbi Shimshon Rapheal Hirsch, (19^th Century German Rabbi and father of Modern Orthodoxy) explains that one cannot cry unless there were genuine emotions. Indeed, one can perceive Esav actions as genuine and he was crying because he was happy to see Yaakov. However Yaakov might have cried due to relief, relief over the fact that Esav no longer intended to kill his brother.  As the Reunion unfolds  (33: 5-15) it becomes quite evident that Yaakov doesn’t not want to spend any more time with his brother than is absolutely necessary.  Esav offers to escort Yaakov and Yaakov diplomatically and very politely declines the offer.  Esav offers two of his men as escorts and Yaakov once again diplomatically and politely declines the offer. (Gen. 33:15) VaYashav BaYom HaHu Esav L’Darko Seira - So Esav returned on that day on his way back to Seir. V’Yaakov Nasa Sukota – But Yaakov traveled to Sukkot.  For all the emotion, all the relief, all the hugging and crying that occurred at the beginning of the re-union; there are absolutely no details when the brothers depart.  There are no tears, no hugs, no “well wishes” rather one goes one way and the other goes another way.  However a clue as to why there were so few emotions when the brothers departed occurs in the second half of the verse after we are told that Yaakov went to Sukkota. VaYiven Lo Bayit UlMikneihu Asah Sukot …   (Gen. 3:16-17).  Immediately afterwards we read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and the troubling events that surround her experience while the family lived near the city of Shechem.  

Yaakov and Esav had absolutely nothing in common. While Esav was married and we learn about all of his descendants at the end of the torah portion, Esav’s focus is not upon his family. Esav  is with his 4oo men. Esav is portrayed as taking care of his family. Yaakov is the exact opposite. Yaakov’s entire existence is centered on his wives and his children. Yaakov doesn’t ride off with 400 men, rather he walks along with his family and his sheep and then when it is time to settle down he builds a house and focuses upon the mundane aspects of raising children.  As a result, Yaakov knows full well that his departure from Esav will be the last time that they have any encounter of value. He realizes that his life is on a trajectory that includes God’s covenant, being a father to the future nation of Israel.

That childhood friend will be getting married. We remain in very different places in life. However, maybe this time, because he will not be experiencing marriage and God willing and his wife will have children,  we will have a little more in common. Maybe now we will have a little more to connect with than just reminiscing about the past.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Why Hold Out For More (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Here Comes Sunshine")

The other morning I am watching my favorite news show, a U.S. newscast based in New York. The morning news leads with gubernatorial elections in Virginia and New Jersey and the political implications for the national Democratic and Republican Parties as well as the Tea Party. My children were awake, bleary eyed and quietly eating breakfast since they are not yet too excited by politics. Then the host of the morning show began speaking about the next news story. “In Toronto…” she began. My kids perked up and started paying attention. The newscaster was talking about the troubling news story of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack and even with this news the Mayor’s approval ratings had actually gone up 5 points from the previous week.  Our children’s’ eyes didn’t blink, they didn’t leave the television. Their mouths, ears and eyes were wide open. The story ended, the commercial began and so did the questions. “What’s crack?”  “Is it illegal?” “If the Mayor is doing something illegal why is he still Mayor?” “How can his approval ratings go up if he was smoking crack?” For five minutes as I am preparing to leave for morning minyan, I am answering questions about Crack, drugs, and how can the Mayor smoke crack, break the law, and be Mayor.  We all like to have our leaders, Mayors, Prime Ministers, and Presidents to serve as role models and to have minimal character flaws.

            This week’s Parsha is Parsha Va’Yeitze. We continue reading of the adventures of Yaakov Avinu, Judaism’s third Patriarch.  Yaakov flees from home and eventually arrives at his uncle’s home. Yaakov’ marries both his cousins, Leah and Rachel. He is given their maidservants as a concubine. He has children, twelve sons; he works for his uncle and makes his uncle very wealthy. Finally Yaakov realizes that it is time for him to leave his uncle Lavan and return home. Yaakov devises a plan that will allow him to return home with much of his uncle’s flock as a form of payment for the 21 years of indentured servitude. 

Indeed Yaakov struggles in this week’s Parsha as he struggled in last week’s Parsha.  He struggles in his relationships and faith in God. He struggles with his need to cling to someone or something. He was born clinging to his brother. Now he desperately struggles to find another to cling to: God, Lavan, Rachel, his sons, or his wealth. Yaakov also struggles with himself. He struggles with his “moniker” and what he is supposed to be, an Ish Tam- a simple man (Gen. 25:27), and his desire to be materially well off (Gen.28: 20). Perhaps this struggle is best illustrated at the beginning of the Parsha when Yaakov suggests that God is not yet his God but only the God of his father and grandfather. In that famous dream about the ladder and the angels, God stands next to Yaakov and tells him the Covenant made with his father and grandfather  will now be passed down to him. By re-iterating the covenant with him, Yaakov not only inherits a pre-existing Covenant but also becomes an active participant in the Covenant. God tells Yaakov “Hinei Anochi Imach Ushmarticha b’chol Asher Teilech, Behold I am with you and I will guard you wherever you go…” (28:15). That should have been re-assuring to Yaakov as he makes his way to Padan Aram and to his uncle’s home.

However, Yaakov needs more. Yaakov does not yet have the faith that his father and grandfather have. Yaakov, as a young man, still struggles with who he is, whom he should emulate, and how to live his life.  In an incredible act of chutzpah, Yaakov makes a deal with God. Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Beit Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim  -  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God. Until now Yaakov only considered God to be the God of Avraham and Yitzchak, his father and grandfather. When will Yaakov consider God his God? If and when God provides him with the material sustenance that his brother Esav clamored for in Parsha Toldot. Yaakov wants food, clothes and material goods. Again we see a very different Yaakov than the one described as an Ish Tam (Simple Man- Gen.25:27) Now that he is on his own, Yaakov is unwilling to accept God as his until he too has some type of personal relationship with God. Both Avraham and Yitzchok had this personal relationship with God and experienced signs and wonders. Yaakov takes the first steps toward a personal relationship with God. He received a Covenant from God. However Yaakov still struggles in his attempt to cling to God.  Certainly some kind of sign or wonder would cement his belief.

Yaakov was hardly a saint. From Yaakov we learn that faith in God is not necessarily easy. While a covenant may satisfy our mind, a sign or a miracle engenders faith in God. Yaakov demonstrates that achieving faith in God is a challenging undertaking, as well as an ongoing process. Frequently this process begins as Yaakov’s began, with an immature demand such as: “if you save me now God,” or “if you do this for me God, then I will do….” Hopefully the process evolves into a more mature relationship where neither party has to prove its faith or its presence to the other. Perhaps this is the difference between one who perpetually struggles and one who has achieved spiritual fulfillment and contentment. I admit it is far easier to explain  and learn from the “flaw” of a lack of faith as opposed to the flaw of arrogance, hubris and smoking crack.

Peace,

Rav Yitz