Search For Where The Rivers Ends Or Where The River Starts (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Foolish Heart")

          There is a tradition that the Yeshivot in Israel begin their programs at the beginning of Elul. The Sages and the Mystics considered Elul a time of spiritual preparation for the Yamim Noraim, and after a year of drifting away from God, Elul provides the perfect opportunity to spiritually begin the process of returning to God. Well, with Elul beginning this Shabbat, this will be our son’s last Shabbat with us. He departs for Yeshiva this Monday.  Ironically, it is also his Bar Mitzvah Parsha.  Five years ago, when he became a Bar Mitzvah he took the first steps towards adulthood when he became Mechayeiv - obligated to fulfill the mitzvot. Now he takes another huge step towards adulthood by moving away from home, living on his own, and learning for the sake of learning instead of learning for a grade or transcript. This is also the last Shabbat that my wife and I have Shabbat with children living in our house. From now on, when we are blessed to have our children home with us for Shabbat, they will only be visiting us. Indeed this Shabbat is very emotional as our family prepares to enter a new phase of development.

           This week's Parsha is Re'eh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. "See I present before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26). V'haklalah Im Lo Tishm'u el Mitzvot Adonai Eloheichem V'sartem Min Ha'Derech Asher Anochi M'taveh Etchem Ha'yom La'lechet Acharei Elohim Acheirim Asher Lo Y'Datem-"And the curse: if you do not hearken to the commandments of the Lord your God, and you stray from the path that I command you today, to follow gods of others, that you did know." (Deut. 11:28) Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to its covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds B'nai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns B'nai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds B'nai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoid non-kosher foods, not live in wayward cities, forgive loans after seven years, care for the less fortunate, and celebrate the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

          Moshe reminds B'nai Israel Ki Im El HaMakom Asher Yivchar Adoshem Eloheichem miKol Shivteichem LaSum et Shmo Sham L’Shichno Tidreshu Uvata SHama – Rather, only at the place that Hashem, your God, will choose from among all your tribes to place His Name shall you seek out his Presence, his dwelling, and come there. Certainly, this is reminiscent of God, at the time of the Akeida, telling Avraham that he will show him where to go with his son Yitzchak. Its reminiscent of Avraham as a much younger man, leaving his home and going to a place that God would show him., Certainly we could understand Moshe’s words as a  reminder for B’nai Yisroel that “sanctity”. Holiness, Kedusha is central to  Israel, Torah, and Jewish identity. The Sfas Emet (The Gerrer Rebbe from about 1870-1905) reminds us that God’s choice is not revealed until B’nai Yisroel “seeks”.  We only find answers when we seek, when we look, and when we investigate. Because we are commanded to seek Shechino, his divine aspects that dwell among us, we are tasked to seek holiness. Holiness is in Time and Space. Holiness is in our  Neshama, Holiness is in our choices, and in our words, our deeds, and the way we live our lives. That is the constant choice we are commanded to make HaYom Today –  a choice that we make each and every day and each and every moment. 

           While raising our children in North America, we consciously chose to raise them in vibrant Jewish communities and with day school education through high school. In doing so, we wanted them to learn how to experience God dwelling among us in each community we have lived. We also made sure that they would have the opportunity to experience God while they dwelled in Eretz Yisroel. Yes, it's different, powerfully meaningful, and provided our three older daughters with a firm foundation for the life choices that confronted them while in University and in life after University. It is my sincere hope that our youngest child, our son, will have a similar experience of making his upcoming ten months in Israel, ten months of HaYom- ten months of full and meaningful days;  full of experiencing God in his learning and daily life in Israel.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

There Were Days Between, Summer Flies And August Dies, The World Grows Dark And Mean (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Days Between")

Every morning for the past week, I have been waking up earlier than normal and, along with a few other people, attended Selichot. Selichot are penitential prayers, supplications and poetry invoking God as Judge, God as Merciful, and a God that remembers biblical ancestors. I usually sit in my spot, with a mug of coffee and follow as the Baal Tefillah begins the service. For the first five to ten minutes I am not quite awake, after all the coffee hasn’t quite kicked in. Then I am involved following along, listening to the tune, and reading the words. At some point each morning during Selichot, I have a moment, a moment where I begin asking all the existential questions. Where am I in my life? What exactly have I accomplished in my life? Am I the best possible me that I can be? The answers aren’t so positive nor uplifting and if I ended the process then, I would probably be diagnosed with Depression. But the process doesn’t end there. As I continue working my way through the Selichot liturgy, it concludes with reminders and reassurances. Maybe the existential answers to my existential questions are not particularly uplifting. However I know that I am not alone. The Selichot service concludes with a series of statements including the refrain: Hu Aneinu- He answers. That is re-assuring.  Maybe my supplications and prayers are not answered at that moment. However my moment of clarity leaves me with a stronger faith, a faith that eventually there will be an answer. I just need to stay engaged and involved and maybe the difficult question that leave me troubled will eventually be resolved and leave me comforted.

We are keenly aware that we are in a very special time of year. We are in the midst of a very spiritual time of year. We are in the midst of a ten day period from Rosh HaShanah until Yom Kippur knows as the Aseret Yamei T’shuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance. As the name suggests, this is the time of year in which we seek M’chila or forgiveness for any transgression we have committed. We seek forgiveness from God, and we seek forgiveness from family and friends. Mostly, it seems to me, that during these ten days we honestly look at ourselves and assume that we have hurt others instead of being shocked when we find out that we are capable of hurting another. The ability to engage in this process known as Shuvah, the process of returning to holiest aspect of our being, requires great clarity.   Sometimes clarity comes on a starry night. Sometimes clarity comes sipping coffee at sunrise. Sometimes clarity comes at childbirth. Sometimes clarity comes when you tuck your children into bed and wish them sweet dreams. Sometimes clarity occurs during on a beautiful autumn day. Sometimes, clarity comes amidst a hurricane as Hurricane Matthew batters the Florida Coast, and the south eastern U.S. coast. Sometimes clarity comes at the death of a loved one. Sometimes, clarity comes at one's impending death.

            In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, Moshe is now experiences for the last time a tremendous moment of clarity. However of all the moments of clarity including: the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however the process of closure is always positive. Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. If a person engages in Tshuvah, a repentant return to God, and Vidui, confession even if the moment before death it is tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In a moment of clarity, certainly such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment.

            On this Shabbat Shuvah, this Shabbat of Return, let us be reminded and strengthened to accept moments of clarity. Let us be wise enough to deal with such moments of clarity in the most holy of endeavors. Let us be pro-active enough to take advantage of moments of clarity by moving towards our loved ones. Let us be spiritually aware enough and realize the absolute importance of moving towards God. Let us not wait until we become aware of an impending loss. Instead, during the Aseret Yamei T’shuva, we should be spiritually clear enough to see every moment as an opportunity to return to that which is holy.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I'm Leaving Today, I'm Going But I Ain't Coming Back (Bill Browning & Jerry Garcia - "Dark Hollow")

          At  48 year of age, with a wife, four children: one in her twenties, one who needs to decide on a high school, one preparing for a bat mitzvah, and one who is just a typical 10 year old boy,  my focus, my energy and my worries are amazingly middle class and family oriented.   I worry about how to afford day school, high school, and university. I worry about our family’s health, our family’s financial welfare. I worry about my work. Socially, I tend to me most comfortable with people who are on a similar path or trajectory.  Many of my childhood friends are on the same trajectory, so that when we speak to each other, or see each other we can reminisce about the past, but we can also share current life experiences because we share this common trajectory.  So even if we don’t see each other for months or years at a time, or even speak to each other  for months at a time,  there is a familiarity because of how long we have known each other as well as dealing with similar worries about family, children etc.  One friend, I would see whenever I visited New York City.  We would spend a couple of hours together and “catch up”. When it came time to leave, we would both say how we should keep in touch and we would wish for the other only good things. However, I knew that I wouldn’t reach out and keep in touch as we were on such different paths; we had very little in common.

This week’s Parsha is VaYishlach. We read about Yaakov and Esav’s reunion. We read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and her unholy tryst with Shechem a member of the Hivvites. We learn of what many consider to be the fanatical response on behalf of her brother Shimon and Levi. Yaakov returns to Bet El, the place where he dreamt of the ladder many years before, builds and altar, and receives the covenant from God. During that process, God changes his name from Yaakov to Yisroel. And while we read about the name change at the very beginning of the Parsha, that name change was given by another being (Gen. 32:29). Rachel dies as well as a wet nurse named Deborah. Finally we read a list of Yaakov’s children as well as Esav’s.

At the time of the re-union, Esav seems very excited to see his Yaakov. VaYaratz Esav Likrato VaChabkeihu VaYiPol Al Tzavarav Vayishakeihu VaYiVKu – And Esav ran toward him [Yaakov] embraced him, fell upon his neck and kissed him; then they wept.  Until the last word of the verse, we had no idea sense of Jacob’s emotions. All the action was with Esav. He ran towards Yaakov and he hugged and he kissed his brother. While we don’t know the true nature of the tears that were shed, Rabbi Shimshon Rapheal Hirsch, (19^th Century German Rabbi and father of Modern Orthodoxy) explains that one cannot cry unless there were genuine emotions. Indeed, one can perceive Esav actions as genuine and he was crying because he was happy to see Yaakov. However Yaakov might have cried due to relief, relief over the fact that Esav no longer intended to kill his brother.  As the Reunion unfolds  (33: 5-15) it becomes quite evident that Yaakov doesn’t not want to spend any more time with his brother than is absolutely necessary.  Esav offers to escort Yaakov and Yaakov diplomatically and very politely declines the offer.  Esav offers two of his men as escorts and Yaakov once again diplomatically and politely declines the offer. (Gen. 33:15) VaYashav BaYom HaHu Esav L’Darko Seira - So Esav returned on that day on his way back to Seir. V’Yaakov Nasa Sukota – But Yaakov traveled to Sukkot.  For all the emotion, all the relief, all the hugging and crying that occurred at the beginning of the re-union; there are absolutely no details when the brothers depart.  There are no tears, no hugs, no “well wishes” rather one goes one way and the other goes another way.  However a clue as to why there were so few emotions when the brothers departed occurs in the second half of the verse after we are told that Yaakov went to Sukkota. VaYiven Lo Bayit UlMikneihu Asah Sukot …   (Gen. 3:16-17).  Immediately afterwards we read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and the troubling events that surround her experience while the family lived near the city of Shechem.  

Yaakov and Esav had absolutely nothing in common. While Esav was married and we learn about all of his descendants at the end of the torah portion, Esav’s focus is not upon his family. Esav  is with his 4oo men. Esav is portrayed as taking care of his family. Yaakov is the exact opposite. Yaakov’s entire existence is centered on his wives and his children. Yaakov doesn’t ride off with 400 men, rather he walks along with his family and his sheep and then when it is time to settle down he builds a house and focuses upon the mundane aspects of raising children.  As a result, Yaakov knows full well that his departure from Esav will be the last time that they have any encounter of value. He realizes that his life is on a trajectory that includes God’s covenant, being a father to the future nation of Israel.

That childhood friend will be getting married. We remain in very different places in life. However, maybe this time, because he will not be experiencing marriage and God willing and his wife will have children,  we will have a little more in common. Maybe now we will have a little more to connect with than just reminiscing about the past.

Peace,

Rav Yitz