Steal Your Face Right Off Your Head (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "He's Gone")

Our daughter turns 13 years old this week. Generally, I do not think about birthdays until the birthday is a few days away. However for the past couple of months, our daughter took it upon herself to remind me of her upcoming birthday and her desire to receive a puppy for her 13 birthday.  Every quiet moment, when there is a lull in the conversation she will tell us about the puppy she wants, she would even put her phone in front of me with a puppy on the phone screen. Ironically, when her grandparents ask her what she wants for her birthday, she grows quiet, shy and unsure of what she wants. Just the other day her grandmother, while speaking to me and my wife commented that she understood that her granddaughter’s hesitancy was a function of not wanting to appear greedy and needy.  How ironic! With her parents, our daughter has no problem telling us what she wants. With her grandparents, our daughter grows quiet and unsure because she is keenly away that she cares doesn’t want her grandparents to think that she is greedy and needy. How her grandparents perceive her genuinely matters.

           

This week’s Torah portion is Acharei Mot/Kedoshim; a double Parsha like last Shabbat. Yes, there are discussions about sacrifices. After all, we are still in the book of Leviticus. Like everything else in Leviticus, the Torah tells us how to increase holiness in our lives, and how we can atone for that lack of holiness when we fail to live up to this moral standard. Two Shabbatot ago, we learned how to make the physical activity of eating a more spiritual and holy endeavor. Last Shabbat, we learned how to make the physical activity of procreation between a husband and wife a more spiritual and holy act.  In Acharei Mot, we learn that we must not defile ourselves in unholy relationships. In Kedoshim, we are reminded of a series of positive and negative commandments that emphasize our behavior towards God as well as community members.

           

Parsha Kedoshim begins with a rather peculiar reminder. God tells Moshe to speak to the entire assembly of Israel, remind them that Kedoshim Tiheyu Ki Kadosh Ani Adoshem Elokeichem – “You Shall be holy because holy and I, Hashem, your God. Al Tifnu El Ha’Elilim V’Elohei Maseicha Lo Ta’asu Lachem Ani Adoshem Elokeichem – Do not turn to the idols and molten gods you shall not make for yourselves – I am Hashem your God. Why are we reminded of the prohibition of Idolatry and everything associated with Idolatry at this point when the rest of the Kedoshim will focus upon the way B’nai Yisroel must treat the members of the community? What does Idolatry have to do with gifts to the poor, caring for neighbor, weights and measures  and caring for employees, servants, maidservants and children?(Chap 20 and the prohibition of offering children to Molech). If we look at these laws concerning those less fortunate in language Ten Commandment language, then the connection becomes clearer. The first few psukim (verses) talk about acceptance of God, Shabbat, Respecting Parents, Idolatry.  Failure to leave a corner of the field for the poor, not paying an employee in a timely manner, cheating a client in with unfair weights and measures and even offering children to Molech, is the equivalent of Stealing. Those with less power, less money, less statues are easily taken advantage. It is easier to steal from those with less money, less power, less status. The question then becomes why would anyone steal from those with less, especially of the “thief” as more to begin with? One word comes to mind, one modern idol comes to mind, Greed. Sure, it is easy to be in awe of God and ones’ Parents. Observing laws focused upon God, Shabbat, ritual and even parents are easy. We tend to worship those that have more than us: more power, more authority, more respect. However we also are reminded that true holiness means seeing godliness, and holiness in those who have less than us and rather than taking from them because they are easy prey, to give of ourselves like we give of ourselves to Shabbat, to God and to our parents.   

Certainly, our daughter wants a gifts for her birthday. We are all conditioned to desire recognition on our birthday through cards and gifts. We know that on a certain level our daughter’s constant refrain “I want a puppy” is a perfectly safe thing to desire and say since she knows that there is no way her mother would allow a puppy in the house or even near the house. When asked what she needs, she quickly replies that she needs nothing. When asked about what she wants, she comments that there isn’t anything that she really wants either since she is comfortable with what she has. So as our daughter turns 13, and becoming a teenager, I find it comforting that she is not needy. I find it comforting that she is self-aware enough to appreciate what she has and as a result doesn’t want for anything. Her mom and I can only hope that her “wanting for nothing” will continue throughout her teenage years: probably not!

Peace,

Rav Yitz

But when things go wrong, wrong with you; It hurts me too (Elmore James -" It Hurts Me Too)

Each night, when family sits down to dinner, I insist that we listen to the news. I insist on this for several reasons. First, I want my children to be aware of what is going on in the world around them. Second, I want my kids to be intellectually stimulated to ask questions about what is going on in the world. Finally I hope they will find relevance between what they learn in school with what they hear on the news. With the news on, we get to discuss all kinds of issues including the events that continue to embroil the Middle East. So the other evening, as we are listening to the news  and heard about six young men from Minnesota, all of Somali descent were charged with terrorism as they were caught trying to leave the U.S. and join ISIS. Each of our children wondered how anyone could become so filled with hate that they would join ISIS. As our kids watched the news and heard about the verdict in the case of the Boston Marathon Bomber, again, they wondered how someone could become filled with so much hate that they behave like that. Then our children attended the community Yom HaShoah commemoration. One of our daughters was asked to escort one of the survivors to light one of the 6 candles that symbolize the six million Jews. The woman along with the other 5 honorees, shared their stories. Again my kids wondered how people could become so filled with hate that six million Jews were systematically wiped out. This time they were able to answer themselves. People can become infected with hate and evil in a variety of ways: including ignorance, prejudice, alienation, and numerous other reasons for hate and evil to infect one’s soul.

This week we combine two Parshiot: Tazriah and Metzorah. God tells Moshe the laws of purity and impurity as it relates to birth. God instructs Moshe about the appropriate korbanot (sacrifices) that a mother should make as she re-enters the camp. God also instructs Moshe about Tza'arat, or for lack of a good translation; leprosy. Throughout the rest of Tazria and Metzora, we are told all about Tzaarat. We are told what it is. We are told how it is diagnosed. We are told how it is treated. We are told how it spreads. We are told what to do in case it spreads.

 Basically, Tazriah is a type of Tza'arat, a type of skin ailment which is commonly thought of as leprosy. However this skin ailment is not treated by the resident dermatologist. Even if they had dermatologists in the Torah, we would not bring someone suffering from Tazriah to the dermatologists. Why? The skin ailment was not a symptom of any type of physical malady. Since the person with the skin ailment appears before the Priest, the Kohen, we know that the skin condition must be spiritual malady and not a physical one. Adam Ki Yiheyeh V'Or B'Saro S'Eit O Sapachat O Va'Heret V'Hayah V;Or B'Saroh L'Negah Tzara'at V'Huvah El Aharon H'Kohen O el Achad Mi'Banav Ha'Kohanim - If a person will have on the skin of his flesh a swelling, a rash, or a discoloration and it will become a scaly affliction on the skin of his flesh; he shall be brought to Aaron the Kohen, or to one of his sons the Kohanim (Lev. 13:2-3). The rest of the Parsha teaches us the appropriate protocol for treatment. The Kohen checks again to determine if that person has become ritually impure. If so, they must be sent out of the camp in order to avoid the risk of the skin ailment spreading to others. The quarantine would last for seven days. Afterwards, the Priest would check again, if there was no contamination the person was brought back into the camp, However if the contamination remained, then the quarantine would continue for another seven days. Then the process would begin all over again. We also learn that if this contamination spread to the clothes or vessels; then everything would be burned and destroyed.

While we know that this skin ailment is caused by a spiritual malady, and we learned how to treat the malady, Torah does not tell us the cause of the spiritual malady. For anyone who has ever suffered from an ulcer understands that emotional stress causes physical ailments. Anyone who has suffered from depression understands that emotional stress causes physical ailments such as low energy, lack of sleep etc. So what spiritual sickness that exhibits physical ailments do we learn from the Book of Leviticus? On one hand the Book of Leviticus concerns with the ritual slaughter and laws of the Tabernacle. On the other hand, these laws are based upon the ethical behavior which must exists within human relationships and in our relationship with God. In the Talmudic Tractate of Arichin, which primarily focuses upon the laws of valuations; we learn that the skin ailment is a punishment for the sins of bloodshed, false oaths, sexual immorality, pride, robbery, and selfishness (Talmudic Tractate Arichin 16a). All of these physical occurrences have a spiritual aspect. These occurrences all demonstrate the offender's failure to empathize with the needs of others. It is fascinating to think that in an ideal community, we are not only concerned with our own well-being. We should also be concerned about others as well. Our failure to do so leads to a spiritual sickness. It leads to an artificial sense of self-importance, it leads to a sense of entitlement, it leads to a petty jealousy, it leads to the alienation of others and it eventually leads to erosion of community and society. By removing the contaminated offender from the community two positive results occur. First the welfare, integrity and holiness of the community is spared from spiritual sickness. This is the primary concern since we fear that God will cease dwelling in a community that becomes spiritually sickened or spiritually dysfunctional. The second positive result is that the contaminated offender has experienced the isolation and concern from others. This is exactly what he/she wrought upon the community with such behavior.

            Certainly we can understand how emotions can affect ones physical well-being. The Torah reminds us that our spiritual shortcomings can also affect our physical well-being.  Our psychological well-being, our spiritual well-being, and our physical well-being, according to Tazriah/Metzorah must reflect life. Just as important, we need to have life affirming rituals that we can engage in when we are confronted with things that threat our life affirming existence. We eliminated impurity. We don’t eliminate the person.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Let The Words Be Yours, I'm Done With Mine (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "Cassidy)

The other day, our fourteen year old daughter got the best of me. After pushing my buttons over and over again, I made the number one parent mistake. I responded. I should have walked away but I responded. Knowing that I possessed a much stronger vocabulary that could inflict more hurt than what she was saying to me; I should have just walked away. However in the heat of the moment, I wanted to show her that I was the parent.  So I said something that was pretty hurtful to her. In a look that expressed shock; her jaw dropped, tears welled up and she ran upstairs to her room.  Belatedly I went outside to get some air and collect my thoughts. I thought about what had just transpired. I thought how I should have behaved differently, behaved in a manner that would have de-escalated the tension as opposed to escalated the tension. Then I thought about what I could do to rectify the current situation of our fourteen year old daughter angry and upset in her room.  Personally, I don’t like apologizing to my children. However in this particular case, it was absolutely the right thing to do. I went upstairs, I sat at the foot of her bed and apologized. I explained that I should have known better. I apologized for failing to act more like an adult and her parent. My apology was contrite and heartfelt. She cried a little and apologized to me. We talked some more, hugged and then I said good night to her. I realized that had I not apologized first, she would never have apologized to me and we would never have discussed the issue that was at the heart of the matter. 

This Shabbat, we resume the weekly Torah Readings with Parsha Shemini. Divided into three chapters, Parsha Shemini begins the narrative aspects of the book of Leviticus. Until now, we have read God’s speaking to Moshe about all the various Korbonot (offerings) and Moshe speaking to Bnai Yisroel and the Kohanim about all the Korbonot (offerings). Now, Aaron, the Kohen Gadol, begins his preparations for and then engages in the actual slaughtering of the Ram as part of his own Sin Offering. First the Kohen Gadol must be without blemish, without sin, and ritually pure before he begins serving as the conduit between the individual/community and  God. When the Kohen is ritually impure and attempts to approach God inappropriately we learn the results, as does Aaron (Lev. 10:1-2). Finally, we learn how the individual/the community can aspire to be holy without Kohen Gadol’s involvement. We learn this by the Torah’s enumeration of all the animals that are prohibited for consumption.

The Parsha begins with the word VaYehi: It was on the eighth day; Moses summoned Aaron and his sons, and the elders of Israel (Lev. 9:1). In the Talmudic tractate of Megillah (10b) we are taught that the word VaYehi often serves as foreshadow for troubling events. The Midrash teaches that this parsha occurred on the first of Nissan, an incredibly happy time since it serves as an indicator of Zman Cheiruteinu – the Time of our Freedom and the Pesach holiday. However this is a bittersweet moment. The sweetness is the fact that the community is gathering together for the dedication of the Mishkan. The bitterness lay in the fact that a Mishkan is even necessary. Prior to the sin of the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf), there was no need for a place for Bnai Yisroel to gather and engage in communal and individual Tshuva. Following the sin of the Eigel Zahav, we as individuals and as a community required a central gathering place to atone for our sins, and engage in Tshuvah.  Next we read Vayomer El Aharon Kach Lecha Eigel ben Bakar L’Chatat – [Moshe] said to Aaron: Take for yourself a young bull for a sin offering…(Lev. 9:3).What sin offering? What did Aaron do wrong that a Sin offering was required? Precisely because of Aaron’s involvement in the Golden Calf debacle, he needs to atone. So Aaron must bring a Chatat offering, a sin offering. Aaron must admit his sin, atone for it, and seek a spiritual return to God (Tshuvah) prior to serving on the behalf of the people. Even more powerful than Aaron’s fulfilling this obligation is the fact that Aaron’s two remaining sons, the Elders, and the entire assembly will bear witness to Aaron’s humbling of himself. Not only will Aaron know that he is worthy to serve on behalf of the people, but the people will know as well.

            Our sages hold Aaron in very high esteem. While the Rabbinic Sages are troubled with the way he handled himself during the incident of the Golden Calf; it is here in Parsha Shemini, when Aaron publicly humbles himself, we understand Aaron’s meritorious conduct.  Aaron’s behavior provides a powerful lesson for any individual in a position of authority or leadership. Our ability to engage in heartfelt Tshuva does not diminish our authority but rather enhances it.

Peace,

Rav Yitz