With three daughters, every so often I get anxious regarding
that moment when they discover boys. Our youngest daughter is now twelve and while
most boys are still considered “gross” or “immature” like her little brother, a
tiny select few have enter the category of “cute”. Our oldest daughter, several
years removed from her college graduation is focused entirely upon her career
in politics. Right now she has
absolutely no interest in boys and a relationship. That leaves our fourteen year old. No, she is
not boy crazy in the least bit, but it has been fascinating watching her leave
the “boys are gross” stage and talking with boys at the Shabbat table, or
hanging out with them at the movies. For our fourteen year old, boys are no
longer “gross”; some of them are actually “people.” Of course, all this gives me
reason to worry, first the boys become “people” and then one or two becomes
friends, and then comes “adorable” and then
comes “puppy love”, and then? Then I try to stop thinking about it and
try to end my anxiety attack.
This Shabbat is the last day of Pesach. Among the additions
to the Shabbat/Pesach service is the fact that we say Yizkor and commemorate the
deceased. Because we are celebrating a Festival that did not have an
intermediate Shabbat, but rather the last days fall on a Shabbat; we read a Megillah
- a Scroll that corresponds to Pesach.
ChaZaL – our sages teach us that we read Shir HaShirim, the Song of
Songs. This biblical text, taken from Ketuvim (Writings) is attributed to
Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon. The eight
chapters, which are song in a melody different from both Torah and Haftarah
speaks of the young romantic love between a young couple. I imagine that this young couple is in their
early twenties but there is no evidence that suggests a specific age. One thing
is for sure, because the text begins with the words: Shir HaShirim Asher L’Shlomo – The
Song of Songs by Solomon. ChaZaL explains that only a young man in throes
of romantic love would write such poetry. A middle age man wouldn’t write such
romantic poetry since some of the idealism
of that romantic love would have waned, and certainly a older man,
towards the end of life wouldn’t write of romantic love since an older man
would be more scarred by life’s experience. Nevertheless, this beautiful poetry
and the illusions of green meadows, deer, trees and fruit, portray a romantic
vision that would great poets such as Shakespeare and Keats jealous with its
use of language.
The question is why we read Shir HaShirim during the Pesach
Festival. How is a nation attaining liberty remotely connected to Romantic poetry?
R’Akiva, the same R’Akiva that we all
read about in the Haggada at our respective sederim, comments that the Song of Songs is the holy of holies
(Midrash Tanchuma). We understand that something
becomes holy when it has been separated from the mundane and ordinary and
elevated to a higher purpose. Certainly,
Bnai Yisroel fits such a description. Throughout the story of the Yetziat
Mitzrayim, when Moshe request of Pharaoh that Bnai Yisroel be released from
bondage, Moshe repeatedly says to ‘Let me people go… Asher Ya’Avduni “So that they may serve me.” Clearly the
purpose of being released from Pharaoh’s slavery enabled Bnai Yisroel to enter
into a relationship with God. As long as Pharaoh declined Moshe’s request, the
more Pharaoh prevented Bnai Yisroel from separating itself from Egypt and
elevating itself for the sole purpose of entering into a sacred relationship
with God. Now that Bnai Yisroel has been freed from Egypt, it can return to the
sacred relationship with God, a relationship that it had not experienced for
over two centuries. From that
perspective, the relationship, with this generation of Bnai Yisroel is novel,
idealistic and romantic. After all, within our tradition we view Hashem as our
protector, we view Hashem as bound to the Jewish people much like a husband is
bound to a wife. On Friday nights, we have a Kabalistic tradition of viewing
the Shabbat Queen as our spiritual mate. After all, Sunday has Monday, Tuesday
has Wednesday and Thursday has Friday. Can Shabbat really be left alone?
According to Midrash, Shabbat is paired off with the Jewish People. (Breishit Rabbah 11:8)The Shabbat Bride serves
as a symbol of that pairing off.
As Pesach draws to a close,
our story doesn’t end, nor does our relationship with God draw to a
conclusion. Because we are counting the Omer each evening up until 50, we
understand that our job is to prepare ourselves for our long, awaited re-union
with Hashem. That re-union will occur on
Shavuot when we stand at Sinai to receive the Torah. Shir HaShirim merely marks
the beginning of a loving relationship, a courtship prior to a marriage, a time when we should be full of romantic
visions prior to entering a relationship built upon obligations. As a father of three daughters, someday all
three will grow into relationships that culminate in the sanctity of marriage. For
now, however, I have enough anxiety just dealing with their interest in boys!
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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