Steal Your Face Right Off Your Head (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "He's Gone")

Our daughter turns 13 years old this week. Generally, I do not think about birthdays until the birthday is a few days away. However for the past couple of months, our daughter took it upon herself to remind me of her upcoming birthday and her desire to receive a puppy for her 13 birthday.  Every quiet moment, when there is a lull in the conversation she will tell us about the puppy she wants, she would even put her phone in front of me with a puppy on the phone screen. Ironically, when her grandparents ask her what she wants for her birthday, she grows quiet, shy and unsure of what she wants. Just the other day her grandmother, while speaking to me and my wife commented that she understood that her granddaughter’s hesitancy was a function of not wanting to appear greedy and needy.  How ironic! With her parents, our daughter has no problem telling us what she wants. With her grandparents, our daughter grows quiet and unsure because she is keenly away that she cares doesn’t want her grandparents to think that she is greedy and needy. How her grandparents perceive her genuinely matters.

           

This week’s Torah portion is Acharei Mot/Kedoshim; a double Parsha like last Shabbat. Yes, there are discussions about sacrifices. After all, we are still in the book of Leviticus. Like everything else in Leviticus, the Torah tells us how to increase holiness in our lives, and how we can atone for that lack of holiness when we fail to live up to this moral standard. Two Shabbatot ago, we learned how to make the physical activity of eating a more spiritual and holy endeavor. Last Shabbat, we learned how to make the physical activity of procreation between a husband and wife a more spiritual and holy act.  In Acharei Mot, we learn that we must not defile ourselves in unholy relationships. In Kedoshim, we are reminded of a series of positive and negative commandments that emphasize our behavior towards God as well as community members.

           

Parsha Kedoshim begins with a rather peculiar reminder. God tells Moshe to speak to the entire assembly of Israel, remind them that Kedoshim Tiheyu Ki Kadosh Ani Adoshem Elokeichem – “You Shall be holy because holy and I, Hashem, your God. Al Tifnu El Ha’Elilim V’Elohei Maseicha Lo Ta’asu Lachem Ani Adoshem Elokeichem – Do not turn to the idols and molten gods you shall not make for yourselves – I am Hashem your God. Why are we reminded of the prohibition of Idolatry and everything associated with Idolatry at this point when the rest of the Kedoshim will focus upon the way B’nai Yisroel must treat the members of the community? What does Idolatry have to do with gifts to the poor, caring for neighbor, weights and measures  and caring for employees, servants, maidservants and children?(Chap 20 and the prohibition of offering children to Molech). If we look at these laws concerning those less fortunate in language Ten Commandment language, then the connection becomes clearer. The first few psukim (verses) talk about acceptance of God, Shabbat, Respecting Parents, Idolatry.  Failure to leave a corner of the field for the poor, not paying an employee in a timely manner, cheating a client in with unfair weights and measures and even offering children to Molech, is the equivalent of Stealing. Those with less power, less money, less statues are easily taken advantage. It is easier to steal from those with less money, less power, less status. The question then becomes why would anyone steal from those with less, especially of the “thief” as more to begin with? One word comes to mind, one modern idol comes to mind, Greed. Sure, it is easy to be in awe of God and ones’ Parents. Observing laws focused upon God, Shabbat, ritual and even parents are easy. We tend to worship those that have more than us: more power, more authority, more respect. However we also are reminded that true holiness means seeing godliness, and holiness in those who have less than us and rather than taking from them because they are easy prey, to give of ourselves like we give of ourselves to Shabbat, to God and to our parents.   

Certainly, our daughter wants a gifts for her birthday. We are all conditioned to desire recognition on our birthday through cards and gifts. We know that on a certain level our daughter’s constant refrain “I want a puppy” is a perfectly safe thing to desire and say since she knows that there is no way her mother would allow a puppy in the house or even near the house. When asked what she needs, she quickly replies that she needs nothing. When asked about what she wants, she comments that there isn’t anything that she really wants either since she is comfortable with what she has. So as our daughter turns 13, and becoming a teenager, I find it comforting that she is not needy. I find it comforting that she is self-aware enough to appreciate what she has and as a result doesn’t want for anything. Her mom and I can only hope that her “wanting for nothing” will continue throughout her teenage years: probably not!

Peace,

Rav Yitz

His Job Is To Shed Light, And Not To Master (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Lady With The Fan")

Our daughter's birthday will occur in a couple of weeks. Generally, I do not think about birthdays until the birthday is a few days away. However our daughter has taken it upon herself to remind me in the middle as early as the first week of April for her May birthday. Every quiet moment, when there is a lull in the conversation, she will tell give us the countdown to her birthday as well as a list of what she hopes to receive as a gift. Because she is the technologically savvy child, her choice of gifts tends to be expensive including: an IPhone, IPad, MacBook, or a new IPod. When I ask her why she wants these things, her first response is because she has friends that have these things so she wants them. As those words begin coming out of her mouth, I think about my father’s response to me when I asked for things because others had them. My daughter will see the look on my face; know full well that I am thinking about how to respond. She knows that my response to her requests will usually be based upon similar requests that I made of my father and knowing her grandfather and me so well, she begins offering alternate reasons as to why she wants these things for her birthday.  She knows that in our house, offering the explanation, “Because everyone else has it” will guarantee not getting the desired gift.

           

Like last week, this week’s Torah portion is a double Torah portion. Acharei Mot and Kodashim are combined and read together on this Shabbat, in this particular year. Yes, there are discussions about sacrifices. After all, we are still in the book of Leviticus. Like everything else in Leviticus, the Torah tells us how to increase holiness in our lives, and how we can atone for that lack of holiness when we fail to live up to this moral standard. Two weeks ago, we learned how to make the physical activity of eating a more spiritual and holy endeavor. Last week, we learned how to make the physical activity of procreation between a husband and wife a more spiritual and holy act.  In Acharei Mot, we learn that we must not defile ourselves in unholy relationships. In Kodashim, we are reminded of a series of positive and negative commandments that emphasize our behavior towards God as well as community members.

           

Both Acharei Mot and Kodashim contain a related theme. This theme is made explicit towards the end of Parsha Acharei Mot.  Ushmartem et Mishmorti L’vilti Asot MeiChukot HaToeivot Asher Na’Asu Lifneichem, V’lo Titamu Bahem, Ani Adonai Eloheichem- “You shall safeguard My charge not to do any of the abominable traditions that were done before you and not contaminate yourselves through them; I am the Lord your God.” (Lev.18:30). Here is God speaking to B’nai Yisroel just like my parents spoke to me, and just like I want to speak to my daughter. “I don’t care if all the other kids have an IPhone or an IPad. There is no reason to have one, it will just be another thing to divert your attention from your school work and being part of this family.” B’nai Yisroel cannot behave as other people. If they do, they will incur the same punishment as the “other people”, the Canaanites, the Moabites and all the other “ites” in the land. What was the punishment? If B’nai Yisroel behaves like all the “ites”, then they too will lose their right to the land.

In Parshah Kodashim, we see the flip side of God’s charge not to behave like the other nations. Instead we must behave like God. We must act holy. We don’t act holier than thou, just holy. God instructs Moshe to tell B’nai Yisroel: Kodashim Tiheyu Ki Kadosh Ani Adonai Eloheichem- You shall be holy, because I am holy, I am the Lord your God.” (Lev 19:2) Throughout the rest of the parshah, for every reason given, whether a positive or negative commandment, we hear the mantra “Ani Adonai Eloheichem”-I am the Lord your God.” Combining both Parshiot we learn that we don’t defile ourselves like other people. We don’t behave like other people. Rather we behave in a holy way.  We treat others in an ethical respectful manner. We treat our relationship with God in a respectful and ethical manner. We behave in a manner that purifies. We behave like a mentsche. We draw boundaries and distinctions as to what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. Just because everybody else behaves inappropriately and unethically does not mean we behave inappropriately. We “don’t set a stumbling block before the blind” (Lev.19:14). We don’t take revenge and we shall not bear a grudge against the members of our people (Lev.19:18). We also don’t crossbreed animals and we don’t mix plant and animal fibers in our garments, Shatnes (Lev.19:19). We only engage in appropriate relationships, we don’t marry our mothers or our sisters.  Why? Because, “I am the Lord your God.” We can hear this mantra in two ways. We can hear it as the ultimate “Because I am your mother (father) and I said so!” However, we can also hear it as the ultimate “Because I am your mother and father, and I don’t behave that way, and neither should you!” If we hear this mantra with the latter perspective, we know that God, like any good parent, provides an example of behavior, not by words but by deeds. God’s creative power is based upon division. So is ours. God creates holiness within the time space continuum. We create holiness within our physical activities, eating, praying, relationships with others, and our relationship to God.

When I explain to my daughter that she cannot have things that other kids have, there is only one reason. I explain to her and to all of our children that we raise our children according to our values, our sense of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. I remind our birthday girl that she will be treated her age and not older. She is turning 11, so we will buy her a gift that is appropriate for an 11 year old and an 11 year old's sense of responsibility. We will buy her clothes that are for an 11 year old and not 18 year old. I remind her that she is not like other daughters. She is our daughter, with our name, our values.  She frowns and then I smile and tell her “Guess what, we are not like everybody else”.  Of course this is what the Torah is teaching us.  We are a holy nation. Perhaps, we should speak to our children like God spoke to B’nai Yisroel. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Things That Are Twisted and Hide From The Light (Hunter & Hart - "Only the Strange Remain"

          One of the things that we find so impressive about the Toronto Jewish community is the incredibly supportive feelings it has for the state of Israel. While our experience in America has always reflected a highly politicized and complex relationship that had as much to do with religious affiliation as it does ones politics; here in Toronto we have found that Israel still manages to transcend the inherent differences within the Toronto Jewish community. Nowhere was this more evident than where our children attend school. On the street where their school is located, (which by the way is a Modern Orthodox Zionist school) exist a Reform day school as well as a Community based Jewish Day School. Throughout the year, one will notice enormous differences in the students, in their attire, in the type of homework they have, their curriculum and the way Judaism is observed in their homes. However on Yom Ha’Atzmaut, on Israeli Independence day, each school sent its students who were part of the actual celebration, (choir participants, dance participants and acting participants) to the other schools in order to enhance each school’s Yom Ha’Atzmaut celebration.  For one day, Jewish Children and very different communities set aside their differences and came together to support Israel. Certainly the schools and the families politics might reflect slightly nuanced disagreements; however Israel occupies a place that of holiness. It would seem that these three schools look at Israel as an ideal, as something to aspire to not only from a Zionist perspective but from a socio-religious/spiritual perspective.

This morning we read the double parsha of Acharei Mot / Kedoshim. In this double Parshah, following the deaths of Aaron’s to oldest sons, we learn about national  t’shuvah, (repentance) with the scapegoat Azazel and the national sin offering. This of course is Yom Kippur. We learn how the individual attains level of holiness in the context of human relationships. Not only is holiness attained through ritual and the individual’s and the nation’s relationship to god, but also the individual’s relationship to everyone else. Holiness is attained by elevating relationships and not turning those relationships abominations. Holiness is attained by treating people with civility and human decency, instead of showing favoritism. Holiness is attained to justice and mercy not favoritism. Also, throughout this double portion we are reminded that we obey because God is holy and we are a holy nation. We are a separate and distinct nation. Our holiness is directly related to our separateness from the rest of the world. Vi’Heyitem Li Kedoshim Ki Kadosh Ani Adoshem Va’Avdil Etchem Min Ha’Amim Li’heyot Li – You shall be holy for me for I, Hashem, am holy; and I have separated you from the People’s to be mine.(Lev. 20:26).

            After reading and thinking about this Pasuk, I can appreciate Toronto Jewry’s strong support of Israel and the frequent frustration with the double standard that Israel is held compared to the rest of the world. However, it seems that what makes Israel so special is the very fact that it does hold itself or tries to hold itself to a higher standard than its neighbors and even the rest of the world.  By holding itself to a higher standard, we and Israel arrive at the painful conclusion that the “other”, whatever that “other” is, (a person, a people, an element within our own personality that demeans our holiness), that “other” must be removed.  The problem of course is that one cannot rid oneself of evil without touching it, without being near it.  We need only to remind ourselves of  how the Israeli Army deals with the towns and villages in Gaza that foments such hatred.  Israel does not have the luxury of the United States. The United States’ war against terrorism very often means bombing a country, sometimes using planes with human pilots, and sometimes with drones.  The United States aims at military, Taliban and Al Qaida bases. However even if those bases were in urban populated areas, instead of risking our soldiers’ lives, the United States bombs first, then it sends in soldiers. Israel is a very different country. It holds itself to a different standard and it is aware that it is held to a different standard compared to the rest of the world. As a result, Israel has a different type of soldier.  Israel deliberately sends its soldiers into to fight at close range. Israel strategically decides to send its forces in fighting door to door in order to deal with this evil on the most intimate levels. Israel confronts evil not from thirty thousand feet in the sky, but rather 30 feet on the ground. Very often the Israel Defense Forces and for that matter, Israeli citizens, have seen evil in the face of a child wearing a bomb vest ready to murder himself and others.  This cannot possibly leave the soldiers, the Israeli people, or us feeling hopeful about mankind’s holiness and spirit.

            Yet Torah does offer us hope. Torah does offer us a framework. Treat others decently because we are a holy nation. We fight in a holy manner. We do everything we can to preserve life. And if God forbid we see evil, we must have faith that eventually evil will be eradicated and holiness will win out, life will defeat death, humanity will defeat inhumanity, and reason will defeat insanity.

Peace,

Rav Yitz