During the excitement of the
last couple of weeks in the world of baseball, (The Kansas City Royals defeat
of the Toronto Blue Jays in 6 games to win the American League Championship
Series and Kansas City’s defeat of the New York Mets in 5 games to win the
World Series,), and Canadian politics, (the recent victory of the Liberal Party
and Justin Trudeau), the stabbings continued in Israel. Recently one of those
who was murdered caught my attention. His name was Richard Lakin, a 76 year old
man from Newton Massachusetts who made Aliyah in the 1980’s. Prior to making
Aliyah, Mr. Lakin was a Glastonbury, Connecticut Elementary School Principal. This was a man who participated in the Freedom
Rides in the early 1960s as part of the America Civil Rights Movement. When he arrived
in Israel he and his wife opened up a business teaching English language to
Israeli and Palestinian children and he was very involved in the CoExist
movement that attempts to bring Israeli and Palestinian youth together teaching
them to listen and learn from each other. He recently wrote a book entitled Teaching
as an Act of Love: Thoughts and Recollections of a Former Teacher, Principal,
and Kid. Here was a man whose life’s purpose was to help young people, to
educate young people in tolerance, to expose them to new ideas, and
perspectives. Here was a man who saw young people as a symbol of home for a
better future and therefore such symbols, such beings must be nurtured with
kindness and understanding. He was shot and stabbed by Palestinian teenagers
who have become the symbol of worse future, and intolerant future. Ironically,
these Palestinian Teen Age terrorist, murdered the wrong guy. This was a person
who tried to help everyone.
This week we read from Parsha
Chayei Sarah. This week's Parsha is Chayei
Sarah. The Parsha begins with the recounting the years of Sarah's life,
Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial and
then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son,
Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, the servant must return to
Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. The
servant wants to know how to determine the appropriate girl for his master's
son. Avraham answers that the girl that returns with the servant is the right
girl. Armed with treasures, camels and plenty of wealth for a dowry the servant
sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There
the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer
him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives
at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with
Rebecca to her family, convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked
if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a
yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's
requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not
knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered
herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak
and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.
This Parsha is the first Parsha
that focuses upon two powerful lifecycle events: Death and Marriage. Ironically
the majority of the Parsha focuses upon marriage and the story of how Yitzchak
and Rivka met. However it is the brief narrative of Avraham’s dealing with the
death of his wife that we are taught what is involved in Meit Mitzvah, in caring for the deceased. According to Jewish Law
there are three obligations in caring for the deceased: 1) Tahara or washing the body. This is a form of purification, much
like a women or a convert enters a Mikvah
(the Ritual Bath). 2) Burial was manifest in the protracted negotiation between
Avraham and Ephron as Avraham ultimately purchased the Caves of the Machpelah
in Hebron in order to bury his wife. 3) Hesped- Eulogizing the deceased. VaYavoh Avraham Lispod L’Sarah V’Livkotah-
“And Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and
to bewail her (Gen23:2). The
commentators explain that eulogizing someone means to speak of the righteous
traits that embody the individual. For Avraham this meant seeing Sarah’s life
in phases: Meah Shana, V’Esrim Shana, V’Shevah
Shanim – A Hundred Years, Twenty
Years, and Seven Years. Rashi explains that in each of these phases there
were certain righteous qualities that Sarah embodied. Regarding Avraham’s
weeping, Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch explained that the word Livkota with a diminutive letter in the
text, teaches us that a small aspect of Avraham’s grief and mourning remained
private.
This first funeral, first
burial, and first process of mourning provides a model of how the Jewish people
mourn. We offer words that speak of the righteous qualities of the deceased. We
publicly mourn utilizing various symbols and public expressions of mourning but
there is always an aspect of grief that remains private. For Richard Lakin, who
possessed righteous qualities in the various phases of his life, he will be
mourned by his family, an ex-wife, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren
because they lost the patriarch of a family. He will be mourned by the Israel
and the Jewish people because he was a mentsche
that did great acts of Chesed-
Selfless acts of kindness in a troubled world both in the United States and in
Israel. He should be mourned by the Palestinians because more than anything
else, they need Israelis and Jews like Richard to create bridges of
understanding as a means of arriving at coexistence and respect.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
Rav Yitz
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