Once We Grew Into Our; Shoes We Told Them Where To Go (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

Normally, when our children head off to summer camp, we make sure that they bring two pairs of sneakers. This usually means that they bring an old pair of sneakers that they normally throw out at the conclusion of camp and return with only one pair. The pair that returns with our son has normally been worn to such an extent that we usually need to purchase a new pair of sneakers at the beginning of the school year. Our son went to camp with two pairs of sneakers: one old and one brand new. When he returned from camp, there were two pairs of sneakers: one appearing unworn and one looking more torn up and beat up. Well, school is about to begin, and when we suggest that he disposes of the old torn up and beat up sneakers; he quickly replies that he prefers not to dispose of the sneakers nor does he want another pair of sneakers at this time. He is looking forward to wearing the unworn sneakers. However, for now, he only wants to wear the old, broken in, torn up sneakers.

This week we read from Parsha Ki Tavo. The Parsha begins with Moshe explaining the laws that are specific to B'nai Yisroel’s entry into the Land.  He reminds them of the laws of first fruits, and tithing.  Moshe reminds them that there is a powerful link between God, B'nai Yisroel, and the Land. Each needs the other.  Moshe then describes the ritual specific to this generation that will symbolize their acceptance of the Torah and the covenant.  As they cross the Jordan River, they would inscribe two stones with Kol Divrei HaTorah HaZot Ba'Eir Heiteiv – You shall inscribe on the stones all the words of this Torah well clarified.” Then the stones would be covered with plaster in order to protect the inscriptions. Moshe then reminds B'nai Yisroel that they are now an Am Yisroel– a Nation and no longer B’nai Yisroel – Children of Yisroel.  With that change of status comes responsibility, and Moshe lists the blessings and the curses that will result depending upon Am Yisroel’s behavior.  Moshe concludes his passionate plea to fulfill the covenant by giving Am Yisroel a brief history lesson. He reminds them that they left Egypt and saw all the signs and wonders (they didn’t, rather their parents and grandparents experience the Exodus and witnessed the plagues). Moshe reminds them that he let them for Forty years, and they didn’t eat bread nor drink wine, rather they experienced the miracle of the Manna. He reminds them of the battles they fought and won and finally he reminded them they were ready to begin their new lives in the land.

Certainly, the concluding verses are incredibly uplifting as Moshe passionately explains that they are ready to enter the land. However, there is one verse in this “pep-talk” that reminds us that Moshe is really an old man, a zeide (a grandfather or great-grandfather), who apparently worked in the shmatte business. “V’Oleich Etchem Arbaim Shana BaMidbar – And I led you for forty years in the Wilderness, Lo Valu Salmoteichem Mei’Aleichem V’Na’alcha Lo Valtah Mei’Al Raglecha – your garment did not wear out from on you, and your shoe did not wear out from on your foot.” (Ex. 29:4). Moshe does not explicitly mention the parting of the Yam Suf, nor surreal and miraculous moments at Sinai. Yes, he mentions some battles but shoes and clothes? The fact that they didn’t wear out after all those years; that the miracle? Well yes. Besides water and Manna, this was the one miracle that touched them on a daily basis. This is the one miracle that while it happens, they probably didn’t think about it. At least with the Manna, they had to go and gather it. At least with the Water, they had to go and draw it. However, with clothes and shoes, they would just put them on without any thought, nor effort. Now, looking back, Moshe reminds them that even the smallest miracle, that which was normally taken for granted should be considered miraculous.

Yes, it’s amazing that after two months of camp, neither outgrew nor wore out a pair of sneakers to such an extent that he asked for a new pair. Maybe the miracle is that our son decided that he could wait for a new pair of sneakers. Maybe the miracle is that our son figured he would wait until sneakers went on sale before declaring his desire for a new pair. Maybe the miracle is that our son finally understood the difference between “needing” a pair of sneakers and “wanting” a pair of sneakers.  Whatever the miracle might be; one thing is clear, our son who is a year removed from his Bar Mitzvah seems to have matured, and is ready to begin high school.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Out Of The Door And Into The Street All Alone (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh, & Bob Weir - "Truckin'"

Like parents of many 18-year-old children here in North America, we said “good-bye” to ours as she left for her gap year in Israel. There were about 30 sets of parents at the Toronto airport, all from our daughter’s school, saying goodbye. Yes, some of those kids will return to Toronto and attend university in Toronto and live at home. Some will go attend university and college out of town (most likely our daughter will be in this category), some will remain in Israel for a second year of study and some will make Aliyah and stay. No matter which category the eighteen year old falls into, I have explained to our daughter that a fundamental change is occurring. She will now have two homes, a home where her parents live and that she will either frequently or infrequently visit, and home is where she lives her life. For me, as a parent and for many of the parents who were saying goodbye at the airport, our focus was upon our children leaving home. Sure enough, there were lots of tears, many mothers and fathers cried.  Our family was not spared. However in the few moments that I had alone with our daughter, I explained that this is what parents sign up for, raise them, feed them clothe them, educate them, instill values, morals, and as many life lessons as possible in order diminish the risk when they do leave; however a child’s leaving is inevitable. I looked into my daughter’s big hazel eyes and re-assured her that she is ready to leave, to embark on her journey confront life and live life without mommy and daddy involved on a daily basis.

This week's Torah portion is Ki Teitzei. Moshe continues with listing laws such as: rights of the firstborn for inheritance, the wayward rebellious son, lost and found property, sending a mother bird from the nest when procuring the egg from the nest, tzitzit, false accusations, forbidden marriages, charging interest, divorce, workers’ rights to timely payment, honesty in weights and measures and remembering Amalek. That is just to name a few. All these laws reflect one extremely relevant idea. Judaism is not just a ritualized religion that takes on import three times a year, or only at life cycle events. Judaism is a way of life.  

Anything, any idea that is considered to be a “way of life” must be relevant in two places, in the home (a sanctuary) and outside the home where life is much less ideal than the home/sanctuary. Certainly, we can read the first verse as Moshe’s instructions regarding the appropriate manner to behave while fighting a war.  Ki Teitzeh LaMilchama Al Oyvecha UnTano Adoshem Elokecha B’Yadecha  - When you will go out to war against your enemies, and Hashem, your God, will deliver him [your enemies] into your hand (Deut. 10:11). Yes, Moshe presentation of these laws suggests that there is an inevitability about going out to wage war. Rashi clarifies by explaining that this B’Milchemet HaRashut-an optional war. The sages explained that biblically speaking, an “optional war” is any war other than a war of the conquest of the Land of Canaan and the war against Amalek. Those wars are not optional but rather the fulfillment of a direct commandment. According to Sforno (the great Italian Renaissance commentator), “an optional” war is any war outside Israel or a political war.” Sforno’s comment is fascinating because it forces us to understand Moshe’s statement about Ki Tetzei La Milchama from a figurative and perhaps even a spiritual dimension. Moshe is speaking to “you” in the singular, “you” the individual. The Torah never said that he was addressing the only the army. Each and every one of “you” wages a war of Reshut, an optional war. The individual “You” wages war against inner demons, against peer pressure, against that which is convenient and easy. “You” the individual wages a war against the monotony of routine. One thing is for certain, from Moshe’s perspective, war is waged upon Ki Teitzeh upon “going out”, leaving the “friendly confines”, leaving the “nest”, leaving the warmth and safety of the home and a sanctuary.

Reading Ki Teitzeh in a figurative manner, gave new meaning to our daughter’s leaving for Israel. Yes, I am her father and yes, I am protective. However, I know that protecting her means that her mother and I accept the inevitability of her leaving and it is our job to give her the tools, the “weapons” so to speak, in order to deal with life, people, and her own insecurities and anxieties. So when I hugged my daughter goodbye, and when I blessed her through my tearing eyes, I also reminded her that she was ready for this and I lovingly reminded her code, her way of life is applicable not only to our home, the home she was raised in, but the home that she will be making for herself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

All The Things I Planned To Do, I Only Did Half Way (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Mission In The Rain")

          I guess summer vacation is rapidly drawing to a conclusion. Our teenagers have all returned home. One returned from her summer as a camp counselor, one returned from camp as a camper, and one returned from her summer in Israel. Each of them had a terrific time, with meaningful experiences and a powerful desire to return next summer. As we sat down to have our first family dinner together in about 8 weeks; I asked each of them their summer experience met their expectations. I asked them if there was anything they felt that they missed out on. I asked if there was anything they wished they could have done differently in order to achieve a better result. Each wondered aloud what was wrong with me that I was curious about their judgments, their self-evaluation once this reflective process was completed. I looked at each of our teenagers and reminded them that the only way to determine if an experience was good or bad, worth doing or not, is to be a bit self-reflective, wonder if it met expectations. Then I reminded them that most of all it is important to make sure that expectations are realistic, that the pre-conceived pictures are based upon reality or fantasy, achievable or unreachable.

This week’s Parsha is Shoftim. Moshe has completed his lecture on the values of monotheism and covenant. Now he begins telling B'nai Yisroel all the nitty-gritty details of living a Jewish life within this community. What a downer! B’nai Yisroel is inspired and ready to enter into Eretz Canaan and begin living the life in the land that God had promised their ancestors. They are now ready to begin fulfilling the dream that allowed them to survive centuries of slavery. So what does Moshe Rabbeinu do? He brings them crashing back to reality. Now they will listen and understand laws concerning war, punishments for idolatry, choosing a king, jurisprudence, priestly entitlements and unsolved murders. Moshe gives B’nai Yisroel a healthy dose of reality by supplying all the details required to uphold the Covenant.

            One of these laws is rather curious yet serves as a reminder of how important it is to maintain a balance between dreams and reality, between the idealism of our youth and the cynicism of age. V’Hayah Ch’shivto Al Kisei Mamlachto V’Chatav Lo Et Mishnei HaTorah Hazot – And it shall be when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah in a book… V’Haitah Imo V’Kara Vo Kol Yemei Chayav Lema’an Yilmad L’yirah et Adonai Elohav – It shall be with him and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear the Lord his God, Lishmor et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot V’Et HaChukim Ha’Eilah La’Asotam – to observe all the words of this Torah and these decrees, to perform them, so that his heart does not become haughty over his brethren and not turn from the commandment right or left, so that he will prolong years over his kingdom, he and his sons amid Israel (Deut. 18:18-20). The king must write and maintain two Sifrei Torah. The “personal” Torah must be carried with him wherever he goes: meetings, wars, benefit dinners etc. The Torah must always remain physically near his heart. However, the second Sefer Torah sits in the treasure room as a pristine copy, as a benchmark. This “benchmark” Torah remains enclosed, protected, and untouched. The king may consult it, but this pristine copy never leaves the sanctuary. How brilliant! The “personal” Torah that is carried around eventually becomes worn, the letters fade, and the parchment may even tear. This would most likely occur unbeknownst to the king. Yearly, the king must lay his “personal” Torah besides the “benchmark” Torah. There, in the inner chamber, the two Torahs are checked against each other. Then if there are any discrepancies in the “Personal” Torah, the king must make the necessary corrections. The king’s “personal” Torah must reflect the purest and highest standard. Through daily wear and tear, through the compromises necessary to manage a kingdom, the king must regularly check to make sure that he has not gradually drifted away from the “Pristine” or “Benchmark” Torah.

            This is the ultimate form of personal “Checks and Balances”! Instead of waking up one morning twenty or twenty-five years later wondering “What’s become of me”; Judaism understands that we all make compromises. Sometimes we may even, unfortunately, compromise our integrity our values and our own sense of propriety. Sometimes our drift from the ideal is not even that pernicious. Sometimes we just slow down or get sidetracked. However, Judaism is about behavior that expresses our relationship with each other and with God. Like a king that needs to periodically check his “personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”, we also must check our “Personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”. Certainly, the process may be uncomfortable, and yes, there is the danger of becoming so self-absorbed that we become paralyzed. The process occurs on a regular enough basis that we don’t become too paralyzed that we can’t function. However, what is so empowering is that this “personal Torah” is not confined to the King. In this regard, we are all kings, we are all royalty. We are all better off making sure that our “personal Torah”, the one we carry with us wherever we go matches up with Torah, the Torah that we learn from, the Torah that we read upon Shabbat and Holidays.  As I remind my teenagers regarding this self- reflective exercise; this is one of the ways that a teenager becomes an adult and one of the ways a parent learns to trust a teenager.

Peace

Rav Yitz

That A Man Can Be As Poor As Me (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Black Peter"

          Our sixteen-year-old daughter has been in Israel for the past 5 weeks. She is scheduled to return early next week. Because of cell phones and WhatsApp, we have communicated with her quite frequently, she has spoken to us, video phoned us, and texted us. She has sent us pictures of nearly everywhere she has traveled throughout Israel. She has been to Israel on numerous occasions so she is rarely surprised by what she sees. She spent last Shabbat in Jerusalem. When we spoke to her, she commented that she is always overwhelmed by the poverty she sees, the number of beggars, and certainly the numerous women begging, pleading, and asking for money in order get their food for Shabbat. Our daughter is astute enough to notice the shopping bags full of change that the women outside the Kotel (Western Wall) have while they continue to ask for more. She appreciates the irony that when she gave a few shekels to a woman, the woman incredulously returned the shekels to our daughter. However, our daughter explained that she felt a tinge dismay; that something seemed so wrong. Here she was at the Judaism’s most holy site, and economic poverty surrounded this source of spiritual light and holiness. It seemed, to her, counterintuitive and she wondered how these two images co-existed.

This week's Parsha is Re'eh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. "See I present before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26). V'haklalah Im Lo Tishm'u el Mitzvot Adonai Eloheichem V'sartem Min Ha'Derech Asher Anochi M'taveh Etchem Ha'yom La'lechet Acharei Elohim Acheirim Asher Lo Y'Datem-"And the curse: if you do not hearken to the commandments of the Lord your God, and you stray from the path that I command you today, to follow gods of others, that you did know." (Deut. 11:28) Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to its covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds Bnai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns Bnai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds Bnai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoiding non-kosher foods, not living in wayward cities, forgiving loans after seven years, caring for the less fortunate and celebrating the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

During the course of his warning Bnai Yisroel of the dangers of not following the Torah and exhorting them to observe the Torah, Moshe makes a simple if not stunning admission regarding the reality of our physical existence. Ki Lo Yechdal Evyon Mikerev Ha'Aretz -For destitute people will not cease to exist within the Land, therefore I command you saying, 'You shall surely open your hand to your brother, to your poor, and to your destitute in your land" (Deut 15:11). The Torah may be many things, but spiritually unrealistic is not one of them. Judaism recognizes human reality and weakness as well as the importance of empathy. Focusing upon the word “brother”, Rashi (the great 11^th Century French commentator) explains that if someone fails to empathize with his brother’s poverty; there may come a point when he joins his brother in poverty. For Rashi, there is little that separates the impoverished brother and the well-off brother, and as a result, the well-off brother must be able to see himself in the impoverished brother.

We know there will always be those less fortunate.  Whether "less fortunate" is a physical, emotional, spiritual, economic, or intellectual not everyone is as fortunate as the next person. We learn that tzuris is part of life and it transcends gender, age, and color and nationality. Moshe recognizes that in our zeal to make the world better, in our zeal to do Tikkun Olam (fix the world) we may grow dismayed and even beaten down because there is so much suffering.  Moshe reminds us that we are not obligated to do the impossible and eliminate the condition of poverty. Instead, our job is to contribute to the solution, by extending oneself to one who is less fortunate. Our sixteen year old understood the message.  The Kotel and what it symbolizes is an ideal, a utopia perhaps. The poverty that seemingly surrounds the Kotel manifest in all those beggars reminds the rest of us that we need to continually strive towards that ideal, towards that utopia. Rather than be overwhelmed our daughter realized that these two disparate images were empowered her to engage in acts of Chesed (Kindness) and Tzedaka (Charity) throughout her life.

Peace

Rav Yitz

It's Good To Touch The Green Green Grass Of Home (Curly Putnam - "Green Green Grass Of Home")

A good case could be made that LeBron James is the most despised athlete in Toronto. His Cleveland Cavalier team has eliminated the Toronto Raptors from the playoffs in each of the last three years, and, as a result, he has broken the hearts of Toronto Raptors fans. The broken hearts have become so acute, that following the most recent playoff loss to Lebron James and his Cleveland Cavalier team; Raptor management fired the coach and traded away its most beloved player who, by the way, liked Toronto so much that he wanted to remain in Toronto. LeBron James earns nearly $100 million a year in salary and endorsements. He acknowledges that his family is financially secure for several generations. He understands that he has more than enough. He understands that he can’t possibly spend all that he earns. He readily acknowledges that he has been blessed and with such a blessing comes the obligation to “do good in the world”. LeBron strongly believes that he has an obligation to give back to the community. For LeBron, giving back to the community means providing educational programs for “at-risk youth” in his hometown of Akron.  Until this past week, LeBron’s foundation has invested tens of millions of dollars in college scholarships for at-risk students, providing them with academic and emotional support in order to help them earn a college diploma. Then earlier this week, LeBron’s foundation opened up a school in his hometown of Akron, Ohio. The elementary school is designed for at-risk students. It provides breakfast, lunch, tutors and uniforms for the students. It provides family and career counselling for families, and tutors for its students. As well as aftercare programs for students. The school is considered to be a state of the art facility. When the school opened, LeBron said that besides the birth of his children, the opening of the school was the most meaningful moment of his life, more than winning an NBA Championship.

This week’s Parsha is Eikev. Here in his second discourse, Moshe explains to the new generation how the second set of tablets that contain the Aseret Dibrot came into being. He explains how God forgave the parents of their idolatrous behaviour in regards to the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf), and all B’nai Yisroel must do essentially refrain from Idolatry, serve God, worship God, and the nation will be rewarded with water, grass and quality lives. Moshe also reminds B’nai Yisroel that they have nothing to fear when they enter into Canaan and conquer the land even if they are outnumbered. God already demonstrated that he will protect his people. He did so during the Yetziat Mitzrayim (Exodus), and he did so over the past 40 years in the wilderness. As long as B’nai Yisroel keeps its side of the B’rit, God will continue to protect his people. V’Haya Im Tishma’u El Mitzvotai Asher Anochi M’tzaveh Etchem Hayom L’Ahavah Et Adonai Eloheichem Ul’Avdo B’Chol Levavchem Uv’chol  Nafshachem. V’Natati M’tar Artzechem B’Ito Yoreh Umalkosh V’Asaftah D’Ganecha V'Tiroshcha v’Yitzharecha – It will be that if you hearken to My commandments that I command you today to love Hashem your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, then I shall provide rain for your Land in its proper time, the early and the late rains, that you may gather in your grain, your wine and your oil.  V’Natati Esev B’Sadcha Livhemtecha V’Achalta V’Savata – I shall provide grass in your field for your cattle and you will eat and be satisfied (Deut 11:15). Among the rewards is grass for our cattle and we will eat and be satisfied. In this second paragraph of the Shema, we are told that there is a reward for our obeying God’s commandments and there will be retribution for disobeying God’s commandments. Among the rewards is a phrase that, at first glance, does not seem like such a reward. What does this mean and how does it relate to the perils of celebrity?

The simple meaning of the verse suggests that we will eat the grass and or the cattle, but whatever we eat, we will be satisfied –v’Savatah. Satisfied implies that we will not be wanting for anything. Satisfied means fulfilled, content. How can the grass that God will make plentiful satisfy us. Have we ever been too busy to eat? Have we ever been in a place or a situation that cause our adrenaline to pump that we didn’t even feel hunger pangs? Most probably yes, we have all been in situations or places where we were too busy, to wound up, too excited to eat. Yet, we were clearly in a place, both physical and spiritual where we were satisfied.  Rashi explains the verse as follows: When you are very prosperous, you must be very careful not to rebel against God, because man rejects God only when he is sated.”

Experience shows that the temptations of wealth are among the hardest to resist. People who are rich in wealth but poor in sophistication often succumb to temptation. They succumb due to ignorance. They succumb due to arrogance. Sometimes they succumb to boredom. It is so refreshing to see an athlete, even one despised here in Toronto, acknowledge his blessings, accept his obligation to give back to the community, and then do so in a manner that will benefit this generation of young people as well as leave a future legacy.

Peace,

Rav Yitz