Let's See With Our Hearts These Things Our Eyes Have Seen (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Blues For Allah")

           Several hours before the Rosh HaShana holiday began, my wife and I received a phone call from our son who is studying in Israel for the year. Knowing that he was on his way back to his Yeshiva after having spent Shabbat in Tel Aviv, I was getting a bit worried because I always worry when he or any of my kids travel.  So when he called, I felt relieved; I wasn’t even thinking about Rosh HaShanah. After he told us he was safe at his Yeshiva and was getting ready for Rosh HaShanah, he wished us a Shanah Tovah. Then he thanked us. He not only thanked us for giving him the opportunity to spend a gap year in Israel, and he thanked us for our supporting his decision to attend that particular Yeshiva.  He thanked us for being his parents. I smiled and said two words to him. One word sums up the reason we wanted him to follow the news and be involved in the community- Perspective. The other word allowed her to cope with hardship, discomfort, or any challenge – Clarity. Usually, clarity occurs when one is able to sense moments of extreme possibility. I know that I had great moments of clarity when each of my children was born. I also had great moments of clarity when my grandfather passed away a few years ago. Life and death provide perspective, clarity, and appreciation of the essence of life.

        In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, perhaps for the last time, Moshe experiences a moment of clarity. However, of all the moments of clarity including the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, and his Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however, the process of closure is always positive. Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. If a person engages in Tshuvah, a repentant return to God, and Vidui, confession even if the moment before death it is tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In a moment of clarity, certainly, such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment.

        This is a very special time of year for The Jewish People. It is a very spiritual time of year. This ten-day period from Rosh HaShanah until Yom Kippur is known as the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance. As the name suggests, this is the time of year in which we seek M’chila or forgiveness for any transgression we have committed. We seek forgiveness from God, and we seek forgiveness from family and friends. Mostly, it seems to me, that during these ten days, we honestly look at ourselves and assume that we have hurt others instead of being shocked when we find out that we can hurt another. The ability to engage in this process known as Tshuvah, the process of returning to the holiest aspect of our being, requires great clarity. Sometimes clarity occurs when one experiences a beginning, like a new life. Sometimes clarity comes at the conclusion, the death of a loved one. For our son, clarity came on a beautiful autumn day in Jerusalem as he thought about the path and trajectory of his life, leaving home, this current gap year, and then on to college/university. Perhaps, Shabbat Shuvah, the Shabbat of Return, reminds us of the importance of allowing those moments of clarity to serve as a source of spiritual strength.

 

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Lady In Velvet Recedes In The Nights Of Goodbye (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Dark Star")

           It’s not every day that we attend the funeral of a King or a Queen. Yet, earlier this week, a billion people tuned in for part of (if not all) Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral. For about a week, the coffin bearing the Queen lay in State in her beloved Scotland and then was brought to London. Along the way people stopped and respectfully acknowledged the coffin’s passing by. Once in London, Queen Elizabeth lay in state for several days and millions of people stood in line, some time for as much as 30 hours in order to be physically close to the coffin, and pay final respects. On the day of the funeral, millions lined the route as the coffin was brought to Westminster Abbey where the funeral service was conducted. During this time, it was clearly evident that all of the Royal Family wanted the coffin to be accessible to all of the Queen’s subjects. She did not lie in State for only the noble class. She did not lie in state for only white Englishmen. She did not lie in state for only a certain gender, or only for the wealthy privileged class. Anyone and everyone who stood there at the appropriate moment caught a glimpse and had a moment of closure.  

            This week’s Parsha is the Parsha Nitzavim. According to the Aggadah, this is the recounting of Moshe Rabeinu’s last day of life. Unafraid of his imminent death, he gathers his family: Rosheichem, Shivteichem, Zikneichem, v’Shotreichem, Kol Ish Yisroel, Topchem N’Sheichem V’Geircha Asher B’Kerev Machanecha Meichotev Eitzecha Ad Sho’eiv Meimecha – The heads of your tribes, your elders, and your officers, all the men of Yisroel; your children, your women, and the stranger who is in the midst of our camp, from the woodchopper to the one who draws water (Deut. 29:9-10). Moshe imparts the last vestiges of wisdom to his children and his people. Moshe wants to make sure that everything is in order when he dies and Joshua takes over. Moshe truly has been blessed. He has had the blessing of old age, and here God has granted him the gift of saying goodbye in perhaps the most wonderful fashion. God has commanded Moshe to say his goodbyes and impart the final vestiges of wisdom.

            We are taught that death is a part of life. Yet many of us are afraid of death. Many of us believe that we should shield our children from death, sadness and loss. However, when we read Parsha Nitzavim, we learn that while impending death is sad, death in the manner of Moshe’s can take on an aura of holiness – of Kedushah. It is in holiness that we attain the highest level of life, a life that is directly connected to God. When death comes like this, from God, with an opportunity to say Goodbye- with an opportunity to impart wisdom to one’s children, death is not mundane, death is not ordinary, but rather holy and part of life, the final expression of holiness in a very physical endeavor. When we talk of strength, we, unfortunately, think of the person who lifts a lot of weight. We think of the person who doesn’t cry, who remains stoic if he/she is all torn up inside. At this time of year, from Elul through Sukkot, when we recite the 27th Psalm and conclude with the words Chazak v’Ya’Ameitz Libecha, v’Kavei El Adoshem – Strengthen yourself, and he will give you courage; and hope to HaShem! We now understand what it means to strengthen oneself.  Moshe had that kind of strength. To be aware of the end of life, to prepare for it, to draw loved ones toward and tell them how we feel is the epitome of courage.

           In a sense,  Queen Elizabeth’s funeral wasn’t just a sacred ritual in which respect was paid to the deceased. Even in death, the Queen managed to allow her people to engage in a holy endeavor.  By giving her subjects the opportunity to come together and offer “final respects” we are reminded to reaffirm and celebrate life no matter how difficult, no matter how troubling. This Shabbat is the final Shabbat of the Jewish year. The  Jewish People are days away from celebrating Rosh HaShanah, (Jewish New Year). Rosh HaShanah is also known as Yom HaDin (Judgment Day). So while there is joy at arriving on the brink of a new year, perhaps there is a bit of anxiety while awaiting Judgment. However, during this anxious moment, we are reminded that we are all gathered and standing in judgment. Every Jew, from every walk of life, stands before God in Judgement, stands before God for a moment of accessibility.  

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

Plenty Easy Answers Now, Listen To Me Here (Robert Hunter & Bob Weir - "Easy Answers")

           During the month of August, our twenty-two-year-old daughter had ACL surgery and then had 30 days to get herself ready for college. That meant she needed to have enough strength to walk without crutches, get up and down stairs, and have enough endurance to handle physiotherapy as well as a typical university course load. To prepare herself for University, our daughter was incredibly focused and dedicated throughout her knee rehab while at home. Three days a week I would drive her to physio. When not at physio, she did her rehab at home. We spent a lot of time together either driving to physio or taking walks.  We had an opportunity to talk a lot about the surgery, her physio, the exercises, her frustration with the healing process, and a host of other things. All the while, she was laser focused on arriving at school by the Labour Day holiday. Much of the rehab process involved thinking about certain techniques and motions in physio and then applying those techniques and motions at home and every day. She listened and watched. Then she followed my instruction and asked, “How did you know to do that? You aren’t a physiotherapist.” No, I am no physiotherapist,  but I have had enough leg injuries and gone through enough physio, that I learned through experience. So, I smiled and explained to my daughter, that I have learned a few things based on my own experiences.

          This week we read from Parsha Ki Tavo. The Parsha begins with Moshe explaining the laws that are specific to B'nai Yisroel’s entry into the Land.  He reminds them of the laws of first fruits, and tithing.  Moshe reminds them that there is a powerful link between God, B'nai Yisroel, and the Land. Each needs the other.  Moshe then describes the ritual specific to this generation that will symbolize their acceptance of the Torah and the covenant.  As they cross the Jordan River, they would inscribe two stones with Kol Divrei HaTorah HaZot BaEir Heiteiv – You shall inscribe on the stones all the words of this Torah well clarified. Then the stones would be covered with plaster in order to protect the inscriptions. Moshe then reminds B'nai Yisroel that they are now an Am Yisroel– a Nation and no longer B’nai Yisroel – Children of Yisroel.  With that change of status comes responsibility, and Moshe lists the blessings and the curses that will result depending on Am Yisroel’s behavior.  Moshe concludes his passionate plea to fulfill the covenant by giving Am Yisroel a brief history lesson. He reminds them that they left Egypt and saw all the signs and wonders (they didn’t, rather their parents and grandparents experience the Exodus and witnessed the plagues). Moshe reminds them that he let them for Forty years, and they didn’t eat bread nor drink wine, rather they experienced the miracle of the Manna. He reminds them of battles they fought and won and finally he reminded them they were ready to begin their new lives in the land. 

          Moshe also reminds them that if they listen, they will be blessed. If they fail to listen and fail to live up to the covenant, then they will be cursed and sent into exile. V’Haya Im Shamoah Tishmah B’Kol Adoshem Elokecha - It shall be that if you hearken (surely listen/obey) the voice of Hashem, your God, - Lishmor et Kol Mitzvotav Asher Anochi Mtzavcha Hayom - to observe, to perform all His commandments that I command you this day, Untancha Adoshem Elokecha Elyon Al Kol Goyei Ha’Aretz - then Hashem, your God, will make you supreme over all the nations of the earth. (Deut. 28:1)  Rashi explains that the force of this emphatic doubling of the verb ShaMA-listen. “If you take it upon yourselves, it will become easy for you, since it is only the beginning that is hard.” Rashi, and the Talmud Sages before him, offer a psychological truth about observing Mitzvot and about anything new for that matter. At first, the action may prove daunting and perhaps even overwhelming. However, as the action is repeated, it becomes easier and easier and almost second nature. Rambam (Maimonides) commented that “the more man is drawn after the paths of wisdom and justice, the more he longs for them and desires them (Code, Teshuva 6:4) However it is not enough to listen, but rather one must listen emphatically, that is, internalize what has been listened to and then used.

Whether it is observing Mitzvot or just listening to dear old dad, our daughter learned this most valuable lesson. Sure, she whined a little; sure, there were times she grew frustrated. However, she also learned to listen, trust, and do the work and things have a way of working out. Of course, like B’nai Yisroel, it is all predicated on listening, observing, and then consciously acknowledging that it actually works.  Hopefully, she learned the important lesson of listening to her dear old dad.  Well, good luck with that!

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And Or It Will Require A Change That Hasn't Come Before (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia & Phil Lesh - "Saint Stephen")

           Ever since a legal U.S. Department of Justice search revealed classified and unclassified documents were taken and found in the home of the twice impeached former President, I have wondered when someone from Trump’s orbit would actually cross the line and actually speak out in support of the Department of Justice and publicly declare Trump’s removal of classified information and kept at his home in Florida to be an egregious violation of the law. So my hope is that eventually, those leaders who actually know better but have blindly and foolishly followed Trump actually spoke out. Trump’s former Attorney General, Bill Barr, came out on Fox News and actually criticized Trump for illegally removing top secret documents. Barr went so far as to explain that the Department of Justice is not only acting appropriately but has gone out of its way to handle the investigation in an entirely reasonable manner. No, I do not expect one voice to break the fever that has plagued U.S. democracy for the past several years. However, some of my hope has been restored that there are courageous leaders from the Trump orbit who are no longer able to tolerate his illegal corrupt behavior and instead shine a light upon it.

          This Shabbat, we read Parsha Ki Teitzeh. Moshe teaches us the laws concerning war, creating an environment for soldiers to behave as honorably as possible. We learn that everyone, whether “loved” or “hated” has rights under the law as well as entitlements. We learn that every one of us is responsible for the other. If we see something that has been lost by our neighbor then we pick it up and return it. Moshe re-iterates that human relationships can either be holy, ( eg. between a husband and wife or between parents and children) or unholy by crossing the boundaries of those relationships. Moshe reminds the people that children will not be punished for the sins of their parents, nor will parents be punished as a result of their children. In such a situation there would be no need to add punishment since the parents of the child or the children of the parent would be punished enough just having been touched by the situation. Essentially this morning’s Parsha is all about human relationships designed to maintain individual holiness as well as communal holiness.

          So it is troubling that we are confronted with one of the most controversial commandments of the Torah. Ki Yiheyeh L’Ish Bein Sorer U’Moreh Einenu Shomeiah B’kol Aviv U’vkol Imo, If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son, who does not hearken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother V’Yisru Oto v’Lo Yishmah Aleihem and they discipline him, but he does not hearken to them, then his father and mother shall grasp him and take him out to the elders of his city and the gate of his place. They shall say to the elders of the city, B’Neinu zeh Sorer U Moreh “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious, he does not hearken to our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” All the men of his city shall pelt him with stones and he shall die;  U’viarta HaRah Mikirbecha  and you shall remove the evil from your midst (Deut. 21:18-21). The literal meaning of the verses suggests that in the extreme case of an evil child who is beyond help and clings to evil the way the rest of the community clings to holiness, such a child must be eliminated.

          First, we should all recognize the fact that Moshe’s presentation of the “Rebellious Child” is theoretical. The Talmud makes the point that “there never was nor will there ever be” a child to be put to death based upon this law. Rashi, the 11th-century Northern French commentator, explains that the harshness of the punishment is not for crimes already perpetrated rather it is to prevent this amoral, evil person to grow up and wreak greater havoc upon society. Rather than allowing him to die as an older person with his victims’ blood on his hands, Moshe teaches us to eliminate this person before there are more victims. Theoretically, Rashi is merely stating what so many of us already take for granted in terms of our place within society.  The greater good is the highest virtue. Just imagine if leaders weren’t so fearful of the 75 million voters, just imagine if supporters of the former President claimed that he lost the 2020 election, and the claim that the 2020 election was an erroneous and dangerous claim that put the electoral process at risk? U.S. Democracy would be in a very different place.

          The Jewish calendar indicates that it is approximately ten days in the final month of the Jewish Year, the month of Elul. When Elul concludes, a new year will commence. As we approach Rosh Hashanah and a new year; we begin evaluating ourselves, and we can take a lesson from this theoretical case. The death of such a rebellious person is a result of not mending one’s ways, or not engaging in Teshuva. Such a person’s soul is already dead, or at least that is what the Torah is symbolically telling us. So let us have the strength and courage to make sure that we never allow ourselves to slip that far and in doing so, the rebellious child that resides within us can grow and evolve into a mentsch.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

I Have Spent My Life Seeking All That's Still Unsung (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Attics Of My Life)

           Well, the unofficial end of summer is upon us. It is Labour Day Weekend. Indeed, summer came and went, our children headed off to where they are supposed to be, and I quietly celebrated a birthday.  Yep, another year has gone by. My beard is grayer and while I am thankful for the hair on my head, it is grayer as well. I have never been a big fan of birthdays. I always like to spend them quietly. While some in my family prefer some extraordinary family activity or party, I prefer a round of golf, sitting by a swimming pool, reading a book while my kids swim, and then grilling some steaks and eating dinner outside with my wife and children. Usually during golf, while I am admiring the scenic beauty, while I watch my children playing in the pool, or while I am grilling dinner; I have an opportunity for a bit of self-reflection. This year, I spend my birthday returning home from dropping our daughter off at college in Maryland.  I had lots of time to reflect while my wife slept and I drove through Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, and eventually Ontario.  I thought about successes and failures, I thought about what my plans were after college, and where I am in terms of those plans. Have I realized any of my goals? Am I on course, or off course? If I am off course, am I so far off course that I cannot get back on course? For thirty-two years I have had a child in my house and my children have been at the forefront of every decision I have made. Have I accomplished anything? On one level, the self-reflection exercise can be pretty brutal. There are times I feel like a complete failure except as a father.  I seriously wonder if I measure up to the standards that I set for myself way back when I had first left home and set out on my life’s journey. There are moments when this birthday self-reflection can be really quite depressing. Once in a while, there is a moment of contentment. I am always amazed by the differences between my idealized pristine life and my not-so-pristine life grounded in reality. 

        This week’s Parsha is Shoftim. Moshe has completed his lecture on the values of monotheism and covenant. Now he begins telling B'nai Yisroel all the nitty gritty details of living a Jewish life within this community. What a downer! B’nai Yisroel is inspired and ready to enter Eretz Canaan and begin living life in the land that God had promised their ancestors. They are now ready to begin fulfilling the dream that allowed them to survive centuries of slavery. So what does Moshe Rabeinu do? He brings them crashing back to reality. Now they will listen and understand laws concerning war, punishments for idolatry, choosing a king, jurisprudence, priestly entitlements, and unsolved murders. Moshe gives B’nai Yisroel a healthy dose of reality by supplying all the details required to uphold the Covenant.

        One of these laws is rather curious yet serves as a reminder of how important it is to maintain a balance between dreams and reality, between the idealism of our youth and the cynicism of age. V’Hayah Ch’shivto Al Kisei Mamlachto V’Chatav Lo Et Mishnei HaTorah Hazot – And it shall be when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah in a book… V’Haitah Imo V’Kara Vo Kol Yemei Chayav Lema’an Yilmad L’yirah et Adonai Elohav – It shall be with him and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear the Lord his God, Lishmor et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot V’Et HaChukim Ha’Eilah La’Asotam – to observe all the words of this Torah and these decrees, to perform them so that his heart does not become haughty over his brethren and not turn from the commandment right or left so that he will prolong years over his kingdom, he and his sons amid Israel (Deut. 18:18-20). The king must write and maintain two Sifrei Torah. The “personal” Torah must be carried with him wherever he goes: meetings, wars, benefit dinners, etc. The Torah must always remain physically near his heart. However, the second Sefer Torah sits in the treasure room as a pristine copy, as a benchmark. This “benchmark” Torah remains enclosed, protected, and untouched. The king may consult it, but this pristine copy never leaves the sanctuary. How brilliant! The “personal” Torah that is carried around eventually becomes worn, the letters fade, and the parchment may even tear. This would most likely occur unbeknownst to the king. Yearly, the king must lay his “personal” Torah besides the “benchmark” Torah. There, in the inner chamber, the two Torahs are checked against each other. Then if there are any discrepancies in the “Personal” Torah, the king must make the necessary corrections. The king’s “personal” Torah must reflect the purest and highest standard. Through daily wear and tear, through the compromises necessary to manage a kingdom, the king must regularly check to make sure that he has not gradually drifted away from the “Pristine” or “Benchmark” Torah.

        This is the ultimate form of personal “Checks and Balances”! Instead of waking up one morning thirty-two years later with the kids all grown up and moved out of the house wondering “What’s become of me”; Judaism understands that we all make compromises. Sometimes we may even, unfortunately, compromise our integrity our values, and our own sense of propriety. Sometimes our drift from the ideal is not even that pernicious. Sometimes we just slow down or get sidetracked. However, Judaism is about behavior that expresses our relationship with each other and with God. Like a king that needs to periodically check his “personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”, we also must check our “Personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”. Certainly, the process may be uncomfortable, and yes, there is the danger of becoming so self-absorbed that we become so paralyzed that we are unable to move our lives forward. There is a very real danger that we can be hard on ourselves that we lose sight of the good. Thankfully, the process occurs on a regular enough basis that we don’t become so paralyzed that we are unable to enjoy a round of golf, watch the kids swim, enjoy a steak dinner with the family, or appreciate the beautiful scenery while driving from Maryland, through Pennsylvania, New York, and Ontario or even appreciate the quiet blessings of another birthday.

Peace
Rav Yitz