And Or It Will Require A Change That Hasn't Come Before (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia & Phil Lesh - "Saint Stephen")

           Ever since a legal U.S. Department of Justice search revealed classified and unclassified documents were taken and found in the home of the twice impeached former President, I have wondered when someone from Trump’s orbit would actually cross the line and actually speak out in support of the Department of Justice and publicly declare Trump’s removal of classified information and kept at his home in Florida to be an egregious violation of the law. So my hope is that eventually, those leaders who actually know better but have blindly and foolishly followed Trump actually spoke out. Trump’s former Attorney General, Bill Barr, came out on Fox News and actually criticized Trump for illegally removing top secret documents. Barr went so far as to explain that the Department of Justice is not only acting appropriately but has gone out of its way to handle the investigation in an entirely reasonable manner. No, I do not expect one voice to break the fever that has plagued U.S. democracy for the past several years. However, some of my hope has been restored that there are courageous leaders from the Trump orbit who are no longer able to tolerate his illegal corrupt behavior and instead shine a light upon it.

          This Shabbat, we read Parsha Ki Teitzeh. Moshe teaches us the laws concerning war, creating an environment for soldiers to behave as honorably as possible. We learn that everyone, whether “loved” or “hated” has rights under the law as well as entitlements. We learn that every one of us is responsible for the other. If we see something that has been lost by our neighbor then we pick it up and return it. Moshe re-iterates that human relationships can either be holy, ( eg. between a husband and wife or between parents and children) or unholy by crossing the boundaries of those relationships. Moshe reminds the people that children will not be punished for the sins of their parents, nor will parents be punished as a result of their children. In such a situation there would be no need to add punishment since the parents of the child or the children of the parent would be punished enough just having been touched by the situation. Essentially this morning’s Parsha is all about human relationships designed to maintain individual holiness as well as communal holiness.

          So it is troubling that we are confronted with one of the most controversial commandments of the Torah. Ki Yiheyeh L’Ish Bein Sorer U’Moreh Einenu Shomeiah B’kol Aviv U’vkol Imo, If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son, who does not hearken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother V’Yisru Oto v’Lo Yishmah Aleihem and they discipline him, but he does not hearken to them, then his father and mother shall grasp him and take him out to the elders of his city and the gate of his place. They shall say to the elders of the city, B’Neinu zeh Sorer U Moreh “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious, he does not hearken to our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” All the men of his city shall pelt him with stones and he shall die;  U’viarta HaRah Mikirbecha  and you shall remove the evil from your midst (Deut. 21:18-21). The literal meaning of the verses suggests that in the extreme case of an evil child who is beyond help and clings to evil the way the rest of the community clings to holiness, such a child must be eliminated.

          First, we should all recognize the fact that Moshe’s presentation of the “Rebellious Child” is theoretical. The Talmud makes the point that “there never was nor will there ever be” a child to be put to death based upon this law. Rashi, the 11th-century Northern French commentator, explains that the harshness of the punishment is not for crimes already perpetrated rather it is to prevent this amoral, evil person to grow up and wreak greater havoc upon society. Rather than allowing him to die as an older person with his victims’ blood on his hands, Moshe teaches us to eliminate this person before there are more victims. Theoretically, Rashi is merely stating what so many of us already take for granted in terms of our place within society.  The greater good is the highest virtue. Just imagine if leaders weren’t so fearful of the 75 million voters, just imagine if supporters of the former President claimed that he lost the 2020 election, and the claim that the 2020 election was an erroneous and dangerous claim that put the electoral process at risk? U.S. Democracy would be in a very different place.

          The Jewish calendar indicates that it is approximately ten days in the final month of the Jewish Year, the month of Elul. When Elul concludes, a new year will commence. As we approach Rosh Hashanah and a new year; we begin evaluating ourselves, and we can take a lesson from this theoretical case. The death of such a rebellious person is a result of not mending one’s ways, or not engaging in Teshuva. Such a person’s soul is already dead, or at least that is what the Torah is symbolically telling us. So let us have the strength and courage to make sure that we never allow ourselves to slip that far and in doing so, the rebellious child that resides within us can grow and evolve into a mentsch.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Mama Tried To Raise Me Better But Her Pleading I Denied; That Leaves Only Me To Blame 'Cause Mama Tried (Merle Haggard - "Mama Tried")

Since last weekend, we have been riveted with the ongoing catastrophic flooding that has occurred in Houston and vicinity because of Hurricane Harvey. We have seen shocking and heart wrenching pictures of rescues, of lost loved ones, of people who have lost their homes, lost everything except what was on their back and what they carried. We have watched neighbors form a human chain to rescue a pregnant woman rush her to the hospital in order to give birth.  Amid the property loss, damage and death, we have watched people reaching out to care for those in need. Keeping in mind what happened in the preceding weeks in Charlottesville, my faith in humanity and the United States was re-affirmed by a simple picture of an African American policeman rescuing two white children in his arms and carrying them to safety.

This Shabbat, we read Parsha Ki Teitzeh. Moshe teaches us the laws concerning war, creating an environment for soldiers to behave as honorably as possible. We learn that everyone, whether “loved” or “hated” has rights under the law as well as entitlements. We learn that every one of us is responsible for the other. If we see something that has been lost by our neighbor then we pick it up and return it. Moshe re-iterates that human relationships can either be holy, between a husband and wife, and between parents and children or unholy by crossing the boundaries of those relationships. Moshe reminds the people that children will not be punished for the sins of their parents, nor will parents be punished as a result of their children. In such a situation there would be no need to add punishment since the parents of the child or the children of the parent would be punished enough just having been touch by the situation. Essentially this morning’s Parsha is all about human relationships designed to maintain individual holiness as well as communal holiness.

So it is troubling that we are confronted with one of the most controversial commandments of the Torah. Ki Yiheyeh L’Ish Bein Sorer U’Moreh Einenu Shomeiah B’kol Aviv U’vkol Imo, If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son, who does not hearken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother V’Yisru Oto v’Lo Yishmah Aleihem and they discipline him, but he does not hearken to them, then his father and mother shall grasp him and take him out to the elders of his city and the gate of his place. They shall say to the elders of the city, B’Neinu zeh Sorer U Moreh “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious, he does not hearken to our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” All the men of his city shall pelt him with stones and he shall die;  U’viarta HaRah Mikirbecha  and you shall remove the evil from your midst (Deut. 21:18-21). The literal meaning of the verses suggests that in the extreme case of an evil child who is beyond help, and clings to evil the way the rest of the community clings to holiness, such a child must be eliminated.

We should all recognize the fact that Moshe’s presentation of the “Rebellious Child” is theoretical. The Talmud makes the point that “there never was nor will there ever be” a child to be put to death based upon this law. Rashi, the 11th century Northern French commentator, explains that the harshness of the punishment is not for crimes already perpetrated rather it is to prevent this amoral, evil person to grow up and wreak greater havoc upon society. Rather than allowing him to die as an older person with his victims’ blood on his hands, Moshe teaches us to eliminate this person before there are more victims. Theoretically Rashi is merely stating what so many of us already take for granted in terms of our place within society.  The greater good is the highest virtue. How else can we understand Houston city officials choosing to empty some of the reservoirs that are at capacity and its structural integrity threatened. Emptying the reservoirs will contribute to the flooding; however it will be less damaging than if the dams and reservoirs break.

The Jewish calendar indicates that it is approximately ten days in the final month of the Jewish Year, the month of Elul. When Elul concludes, a new year will commence. As we approach Rosh Hashanah and a new year; we begin evaluating ourselves, we can take a lesson from this theoretical case. The death of such rebellious person is a result of not mending one’s ways, of not engaging in Teshuva. Such a person’s soul is already dead, or at least that is what the Torah is symbolically telling us. So let us have the strength and courage to make sure that we never allow ourselves to slip that far and in doing so, the rebellious child that resides within in us can grow and evolve into a mentsche.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Well My Mama Told Me, My Papa Told Me Too (Noah Lewis - "Big Railroad Blues")

Well, our sixteen year old just received her G1 Driver’s License or in America, she just received her Driver’s Permit. Of course on the day she passed her written test, her mother and I congratulated her. Her mom told her how proud she was of her. However, I was a bit more understated about praising and congratulating her. I knew that I was the one who would take her driving in between driving lessons with a certified driving instructor. As we drove home, I asked if she wanted to drive in a nearby empty parking lot. She enthusiastically said yes. We arrived at the parking lot, switched seats and she sat in the driver’s seat while tightly gripping the wheel. Then I gave her the talk, a talk that I am sure my father gave me. Driving is an enormous responsibility, it is a weapon that can kill people. I piled it on and explained that her behavior would demonstrate if she was ready to handle that kind of responsibility. As a parent, I had tremendous leverage. If she wanted me to take her driving, there wouldn’t be the typical teenage attitude and fresh mouth that drives me and my wife crazy. If she wanted to drive, would have to be more responsible regarding caring for her room, household chores and how she spoke to her parents and sibling. If she wanted me to take her driving, there would be minimal teenage rebelliousness. I am not quite sure my plan is working out the way I anticipated.

This Shabbat, we read Parsha Ki Teitzeh. Moshe teaches us the laws concerning war, creating an environment for soldiers to behave as honorably as possible. We learn that everyone, whether “loved” or “hated” has rights under the law as well as entitlements. We learn that every one of us is responsible for the other. If we see something that has been lost by our neighbor then we pick it up and return it. Moshe re-iterates that human relationships can either be holy, between a husband and wife, and between parents and children or unholy by crossing the boundaries of those relationships. Moshe reminds the people that children will not be punished for the sins of their parents, nor will parents be punished as a result of their children. In such a situation there would be no need to add punishment since the parents of the child or the children of the parent would be punished enough just having been touch by the situation. Essentially this morning’s Parsha is all about human relationships designed to maintain individual holiness as well as communal holiness.

            So it is troubling that we are confronted with one of the most controversial commandments of the Torah. Ki Yiheyeh L’Ish Bein Sorer U’Moreh Einenu Shomeiah B’kol Aviv U’vkol Imo, If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son, who does not hearken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother V’Yisru Oto v’Lo Yishmah Aleihem and they discipline him, but he does not hearken to them, then his father and mother shall grasp him and take him out to the elders of his city and the gate of his place. They shall say to the elders of the city, B’Neinu zeh Sorer U Moreh “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious, he does not hearken to our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” All the men of his city shall pelt him with stones and he shall die; U’viarta HaRah Mikirbecha and you shall remove the evil from your midst (Deut. 21:18-21). The literal meaning of the verses suggests that in the extreme case of an evil child who is beyond help, continues to cling to evil the ways while  the rest of the community clings to holiness, such a child must be eliminated. However, we understand that somethings in the Torah are not to be understood literally. For the Talmudic sages, this was one of those cases.

The Talmud makes the point that “there never was nor will there ever be” a child to be put to death based upon this law. Rashi, the 11th century Northern French commentator, explains these verses in two ways. First, Rashi clarifies and quantifies the Zoleil v’Sovei – glutton and guzzler as Yochal Tateimar Basar V’Yishteh Chatzi Log Yayin – as one who eats 8oz. of meat in one or two bites and drinks between 12-21 fluid ounces in a single gulp and Ad Yignov and will steal to support his habit. Second, Rashi explains that this rebellious son must be warned twice that his behavior is in opposition to Halacha (Jewish Law). Otherwise the Rebellious son is not liable for punishment. In his comment, Rashi implicitly suggests what the Talmud explicitly teaches. Neither Moshe, or the Talmudic sages could imagine a child purposefully ignoring his parents and begin thieving, drinking, doing drugs, or demonstrating gluttonous behavior, that is to say, doing too much of whatever they want without regard for anything or anyone. Moshe, in his re-iteration of the Torah, teaches that the parents are the responsible. It is their obligation to bring the child to the Bet Din (the court), and when the parents can no longer live up to that obligation, then society must take over. The question becomes how does a child become a Sorer U’Moreh? Children are not born wayward nor rebellious. Children are not born gluttonous and drunk. There may be a genetic disposition to obsessive compulsive behavior or addiction, but before a child becomes an adult and responsible for him/herself, the parents bear a responsibility for the social and emotional development of that child.

No, none of our children are like Ben Sorer U’Moreh- the gluttonous rebellious son. Although they strike me as a bit gluttonous when it comes to use of their phones and IPods. Yes, sometimes it feels like a never ending fight to make sure that we enforce our household rules, rules which are designed to prevent them from becoming Sorer U’Moreh. As we watch our daughter negotiate the landscape with this added leverage/desire to drive; she has started to see our wisdom and appreciate our methods. She has started to understand that our rules and our talks are a result of our concern with the type of person she might or might not become rather than what she is. As I sit in the passenger seat, and she adjusts the seat and mirrors, presses down on the break and begins to shift gears, she looks over at me and thanks me for all the rules, for the high expectations, for the instilling in her a sense of responsibility as well as consequences for her behavior. Then she turns to look straight ahead and begins to slowly drive as she has a look on her face that recognizes the fact that there is several tons of responsibility in her hands.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Talk About Your Plenty, Talk About Your Ills ( Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia & Phil Lesh - "St. Stephen").

 One of the most fascinating aspects of the Pesach Seder is that educationally speaking, it provides a wonderful form of instruction. It utilizes props, food, stories of real live heroes, song, as well as mythical paradigms with whom we can all identify. The most famous of these paradigms are the Arbah Banim, the Four Sons, or the Four Children, The Chacham – The wise child, The Rashah, known as the Rebellious child, the Tam, the simple child, and Sheino Yodeah Lishol- the one who does not know how to ask. With four children, each year we can see how they begin to take on different aspects of each category. A question that our family has always struggled with is the answer offered to the Rebellious Child and the answer offered to the Child Who Does Not Know How To Ask.

The Rebellious child (the RaShAh) asks a question. The Haggadah answers using the same words as its answer to The One Who Does Not Know How to Ask (Sheino Yodeah Lishol).  The Rebellious Child asks Mah HaAVodah HaZot Lachem – What does this service mean to you?  The Haggadah’s answer is taken from The Book of Exodus 13:8: Ba’Avur Zeh Asah Hashem Li B’tzeiti Mimitzrayim- Because this is what Hashem did for me when I left Egypt. However prior to the answer the Haggadah issues the following instruction: V’Af Atah Hakhei et Shinav – We set his teeth on edge, V’Amor Lo, then recite to him. The words are not enough, the answer must be delivered with a certain tone. The tone offers context and provides a deeper meaning than just the words from Exodus 13:8. The reason is because when he asked what the service meant to you, he of course excluded himself so the answer we give to the Rashah should be exclusive. The words appear to exclude the Rebellious Child, the tone is exceedingly confrontational to the Rebellious Child. We are to literally “knock his teeth out” with our answer.

Our answer to Sheino Yodeah Lishol is a citation from the same verse Bavur zeh Asah Hashem Li B’tzeiti Mimitzrayim – because of what Hashem did for me. A superficial reading suggests that this answer alienates this child like the same answer alienates the Rebellious child. However the two answers of very different because the questions and the questioner are different. The Child That Doesn’t Know How To Ask, never asked the question. The Haggadah gave an answer to an inquisitive look.  We can understand the Four Children as symbols four developmental categories leading to adulthood. The Child That Doesn’t Know How To Ask is the baby. The Rebellious Child is the teenager or the young adult that is single and not yet settled down. We can also understand these four Children symbolically representing different types of Jews. In either case, The Child That Doesn’t Know How to Ask has no obligation, doesn’t understand the concept of Chiyuv (obligation), nor can be expected to observe anything since the child does not know what to do nor how to do it. The words that constitute our answer should be simple, straightforward, but our tone should be warm, inviting, supportive and demonstrating concern.

Regarding the RaShah, it is important that we have some perspective about the Rebellious Child. The RaShah does not embody complete evil. The word for pure un-adulterated Evil is  RaH, Reish Ayin.  The Shin, the middle letter in RaShah, according to Kabbala, is a “good” letter. The Shin is a representative of God, for example one of the names for God is El Shadai. The Shin is the letter that appears on the Mezuzah and on Tefillin. So, because of the Shin in the word Rashah, we know that there is some hope for this soul. There is Godliness within the Rebellious Child. The RaShah should not be infantilized. Intellectually, The Rebellious Child understands that he is rebelling against something. Therefore, the teenager, or the educated Jew that rebels against Judaism, understand the idea of Chiyuv, religious obligation, and the idea of Jewish peoplehood, of Jewish community and transmitting a tradition. The Haggadah’s answer is designed to break down the RaShah’s arrogant tone. The same energy used for disrupting and negatively influencing others to stray can be channeled for a positive purpose. The Haggadah’s answer is not only for the benefit of RaShah but for those that the RaShah could influence. Of the four children, the most impressionable is One Who Does Not Know How to Ask (Sheino Yodeah Lishol). Words don’t necessarily suffice. This child is influenced by action and by deed. As easily as this child is influence by the RaShah, he or she will be just as easily influenced by the way in which we respond to the RaShah. Therefore when the RaShah has his teeth ground by the answer given, and eventually becomes less rebellious, he becomes a wonderful example to the one who does not know how to ask.

My wife and I are blessed with four children. It is remarkable that each Pesach we are able to gauge where they are developmentally when we discuss Yetziat Mitzrayim, The Exodus from Egypt. It amazes us when one listens and nods, another argues but accepts, another argues and refuses to listen or be bothered and one might not even be engaged but is just too hungry to be bothered. We understand that our words matter. But our deeds matter more.  In celebrating freedom we understand that ultimately we are responsible for our deeds. So when we answer our children’s questions, not only our words matter; and not only our tone matters. Our answers must be consistent with our deeds, and if they are not we have to be able to explain and teach our children.

Peace,

Rav Yitz