Several hours before the Rosh HaShanah holiday began, my wife and I received an email from our daughter who is studying in Israel for the year. Since she arrived, her main form of communication has been phone calls or texts messages through Whatsapp. So when I saw an email from her, I was concerned. Don’t ask me why I should be concerned about getting an email from my daughter; I guess as I grow older and worry more and more. (I guess I am becoming more like my father.) So I read our daughter's email. I welled up. She explained that she did not have classes the day before Rosh HaShanah. Apparently, it was a beautiful day in Jerusalem, yet our daughter was experiencing the first twinges of homesickness as this was the first time that she was away during the High Holidays. She explained all this to us in her email and amid the twinges of homesickness and the welling up of tears, our daughter thanked us. She not only thanked us for giving her the opportunity to spend a gap year in Israel, she thanked us for the making her attend this particular seminary even though her teachers thought she would be happier elsewhere. She thanked us for not only seeing her in an honest and clear light but knowing what was best for her, as compared to her high school teachers. She thanked us for being her parents. I quickly wrote back two words. One word sums up the reason we wanted her to participate in sports as well as community service programs- Perspective. The other word allowed her to cope with hardship, discomfort or any challenge – clarity. Usually, clarity occurs when one is able to sense moments of extreme possibility. I know that I had great moments of clarity when each of my children was born. I also had great moments of clarity when my grandfather passed away a few years ago. Life and death allow us to get at the essence of life.
In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, for the last time Moshe experiences a moment of clarity. However of all the moments of clarity including: the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however, the process of closure is always positive. Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. If a person engages in Tshuvah, a repentant return to God, and Vidui, confession even if the moment before death it is tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In a moment of clarity, certainly such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment.
This is a very special time of year for The Jewish People. It is a very spiritual time of year. This ten-day period from Rosh HaShanah until Yom Kippur is known as the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance. As the name suggests, this is the time of year in which we seek M’chila or forgiveness for any transgression we have committed. We seek forgiveness from God, and we seek forgiveness from family and friends. Mostly, it seems to me, that during these ten days we honestly look at ourselves and assume that we have hurt others instead of being shocked when we find out that we are capable of hurting another. The ability to engage in this process known as Tshuvah, the process of returning to the holiest aspect of our being, requires great clarity. Sometimes clarity occurs when one experiences a beginning, like a new life. Sometimes clarity comes at the conclusion, the death of a loved one. For our daughter clarity came on a beautiful autumn day in Jerusalem as she thought about the path of her life, leaving home, this current gap year and then onto college/university. Perhaps, Shabbat Shuvah,, the Shabbat of Return, reminds us of the importance of allowing those moments of clarity to serve as a source of spiritual strength.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
