I Have Spent My Life Seeking All That's Still Unsung (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Attics of My Life")

It’s hard to believe but our family has already marked the Shloshim of my grandfather’s death.  Over the past few weeks, I have spoken with my parents much more frequently than normal. Our conversations have been about Grandpa, sharing experiences, and sharing our sense of loss. My children have also spent these past few weeks asking about their great- grandfather. Sharing these stories with my children or commiserating with my parent usually causes me to smile as I think about my Grandfather. However it is the quiet moments, when my wife and kids are asleep, and I see a picture of my grandfather that I close my eyes and think of some of the things he has said to me. As he grew older, as his family grew, as we made our way in life, I can still the see the look on his face when we would all be together. He couldn’t belief that he was the patriarch of this family, blessed with children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. He often shared with me how he knew he was blessed, he also wondered what he did right to deserve such feelings. As he grew older and sensed his own deterioration, he shared this “spiritual awareness” with me more and more. The last conversation I had with my grandfather while he was still knew who I was, expressed his acknowledgment that he was and led such a good life.  As he said goodbye to me, he complimented me on my family: my wife, three daughters and son. He reminded me to take care of myself and “take good care of that family of yours.” I joked and told him that they were his family too. He laughed and said “that is why I am reminding you to take care of them.”  

            This week’s Parsha is the Parsha Nitzavim/VaYeilech. According the Aggadah, this is the recounting of Moshe Rabeinu’s last day of life. Unafraid of his imminent death, he gathers his family: Rosheichem, Shivteichem, Zikneichem, v’Shotreichem, Kol Ish Yisroel, Topchem N’Sheichem V’Geircha Asher B’Kerev Machanecha Meichotev Eitzecha Ad Sho’eiv Meimecha – The heads of your tribes, your elders, and your officers, all the men of Yisroel; your children, your women, and the stranger who is in the midst of our camp, from the woodchopper to the one who draws water (Deut. 29:9-10). Moshe imparts his last vestiges of wisdom to his children, his people. Moshe wants to make sure that everything is in order when he dies and Joshua takes over. Moshe truly has been blessed. He has had the blessing of old age, and here God has granted him the gift of saying goodbye in perhaps the most wonderful fashion. God has commanded Moshe to say his goodbyes and impart the final vestiges of wisdom.

           

            We are taught that death is a part of life. Yet many of us are afraid of death. Many of us believe that we should shield our children from death, sadness and loss. However when we read Parsha Nitzavim, we learn that while impending death is sad, death in the manner of Moshe’s can take on an aura of holiness – of Kedusha. It is in holiness that we attain the highest level of life, a life that is directly connected to God. When death comes like this, from God, with an opportunity to say Goodbye- with an opportunity to impart wisdom to one’s children, death is not mundane; death is not ordinary, but rather holy and part of life, the final expression of holiness in a very physical endeavor.

            When we talk of strength, we unfortunately think of the person who can carry the heaviest load. We think of the person who doesn’t cry, who remains stoic, even if he/she is all torn up inside. At this time of year, from Elul through Succot, when we recite the 27^th Psalm and conclude with the words Chazak v’Ya’Ameitz Libecha, v’Kavei El Adoshem – Strengthen yourself, and he will give you courage; and hope to HaShem! We now understand what it means to strengthen oneself.  Moshe had that kind of strength. He was aware of the end of his life, he prepared for it, he drew loved ones toward himself and told them his thoughts, and his concerns. In a sense, this final action is the epitome of courage.

            Now, I realize the significance of his saying goodbye to me like that while he still had his cognitive faculties. I have to believe that somewhere deep down, he understood what was happening to him and what would eventually result. So before his condition worsened, before his memory was so diminished; he needed to impart one more bit of wisdom, one more bit of fatherly/grandfatherly advice, a few words that would give me a sense of purpose even when I mourn for him.  “Take care of your family”, not only for my sake and their sake, but for his sake as well. It is the quiet moments when I think of those words, and see my children and my wife asleep; I realize that I not only have a responsibility to my wife and children, but I have a responsibility to my grandfather as well. Through the tears, I smile to myself and know that I have been blessed: blessed to have been his grandson, blessed with a wonderful wife and four terrific children. As we observe the last Shabbat of 5774, we should all take this time to appreciate the blessing of the past year.

Peace & Shanah Tova,

Rav Yitz

Would You Hold It Near, As It Were Your Own (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Ripple")

There are two refrains that I hear quite often as summer draws to an end and the school year appear imminently on the horizon. “The Holidays are early this year!” or “The Holidays are late this year!” Usually my response is to remind the individual that Rosh HaShanah always begins on time – the first of Tishrei.  Well this year I stand corrected. The Jewish Holidays are early; like two days removed from Labor Day Early.  The Holidays are so early this year that the first day of school this year is before Labor Day.  This means is that that is an awful lot of chaos in our home. Getting kids their school supplies, their uniforms, shoes for the holidays, making sure that they have clothing appropriate for the Holidays that are comfortable for the late summer, and then of course, food shopping and the requisite cooking. I am tired just thinking about it and yes, there is still work to do on sermons.  Getting children ready for another school year is always a bit chaotic; add the fact that the High Holidays coincide with the beginning of school and it seems so easy to forget the point of all this chaos and tumult.

In this week’s double Parsha, Parsha Nitzavim/VaYeilech, Moshe gathers all the people around him one last time. He reminds them that they are a people with a covenant, warns them against idolatry, explains that they descendants will be punished with exile but will eventually return to the Eretz Canaan, and pleads with them to always keep the teachings of the Torah near to them wherever they and their descendants go.   Moshe explains that his death is days away. He completes writing his Sefer Torah, presents it to the Kohanim for safe-keeping. He passes all pertinent information and “state secrets” to Joshua, his successor. Moshe instructs the Kohanim to read the Torah to a gathering of the entire nation every seven years. Then God tells Moshe what will befall the people after his death and after they enter Eretz Canaan.  Moshe listens to God’s words and is instructed to put these words of prophecy into the format of poetry or a song. 

As the text ties up the “loose knots”, as Moshe makes the final preparations for his death; there seems to be a foreboding sense that Moshe’s final moments may not be so pleasant and peaceful and the future of the people may not be so bright after all.  Moshe says a lot of rather discouraging things on his “deathbed”.  He explains that later generations will fail to heed the Torah and they will be exiled. He explains that sad things will happen. He explains that bad things will happen.  Moshe does not offer some saccharine type of hope that suggests not worrying and everything will be OK. Rather Moshe offers a type of hope that empowers each and every individual, empowers each and every generation and, just as importantly Moshe tells them the secret to survival. HaMitzvah HaZot Asher Anochi M’Tzavcha HaYom For this commandment that I command you today Lo Nifleit Hee Mimcha It is not hidden from you  V’Lo Rechoka Hee and it is not distant. Lo Bashamayim Hee It is not in the heavens… Ki Karov Eilecha HaDavar Me’od B’Ficha U’Vilvavcha La’Asoto  Rather the matter (the word) is very near to you – in your mouth and your heart – perform it (Deut. 30:11-14). Moshe secret was that Torah is not inaccessible. Anyone can do it. You just have to learn it and then do it. Moshe reminded those who were listening that his words, his teachings are not beyond anyone’s capacity.  Sforno, the great Renaissance Rabbi and Commentator explains that Teshuva, repentance, and Torah is within the individual’s and the community’s capacity;  there is no need for a prophet to bring heavenly messages if the community behaves the way it is supposed to behave. The only thing that the community needs is someone to teach the community what to do and how to do it. Then the community will be informed enough as to how to behave appropriately. Moshe taught them that Torah was portable. It could go anywhere in the world as long as there was someone to learn it and teach it.  

Yes, the Holidays come early this year. Yes the school year is about to begin and yes indeed, this makes for a lot of chaos. But amid this chaos, we understand the Torah is close by. We know, or perhaps we need to be reminded that amid this chaos we are given the opportunity to continue learning, to spiritually prepare for holidays as well as physically prepare.  As chaotic as it seems, Moshe’s re-assuring words that the Torah is designed to be accessible to everyone suggests something even more profound; that amid the chaos, God is just as accessible.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Death Will Go In Any Family In This Land (Rev. Gary Davis- Death Don't Have No Mercy)

A little over a week ago, the United States and many other countries observed the 10^th Yartzeit of the 9/11 attacks. Two of our children were born after 9/11 and one was only a couple of months old when the attack occurred. It is hard to imagine that ten years have passed. We have all grown up and aged. Now I have to explain 9/11 to my children. I have to teach them that there are people out there who hate them because they are American, that hate them because they are Jewish. I have to teach them that we always need to be careful and alert. So the war on terrorism continues. Our nation carries the scars of that horrific day. The wounds lie just below our national surface. Yet those scars and that pain govern so much of American life. We are also keenly aware that we are in a very special time of year. We are in the midst of a very spiritual time of year. This Motzei Shabbat (Saturday Night) we begin, in earnest, the High Holiday season. This Motzei Shabbat we will gather together late this Saturday night and daven the Selichot service. This is a service that consists of psalms and prayers in which T’shuva is the main focus. This Motzei Shabbat we begin the spiritual process of returning to God after a year of drifting away. This Motzei Shabbat we begin the spiritual process of returning to that which is holy in us and in our fellow human beings after a year of drifting away and witnessing a rather dark side of the human nature. This Motzei Shabbat, when we begin the Selichot service, we begin a process of striving for spiritual clarity, a state of being in which we learn that no matter the pain, anguish, and emptiness, our soul’s can remain content and able to always focus upon the goodness in life. For a nation that just revisited that horrific day by commemorating the 10^th Yartzeit, we are reminded of the importance of finding meaning where there is tragedy; in having clarity where there is the murkiness of tragedy. Sometimes, clarity comes at one's impending death.

In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, Moshe is now experiences for the last time a tremendous moment of clarity. However of all the moments of clarity including: the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive; however the process of closure is always positive. Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. When a person engages in Tshuvah, a spiritual return to God holy presence, or Vidui, the confession immediately prior to death; these actions are tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In moments of clarity, certainly such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment.

On this Shabbat, as we prepare for Selichot and the season of T’shuvah, let us be reminded and strengthened to accept moments of clarity. Over the course of a year in mourning, let us be wise enough to look back and learn. Let us be pro-active enough to take advantage of moments of clarity by moving towards our loved ones. Let us be spiritually aware enough and realize the absolute importance of moving towards God. Let us not wait until we become aware of an impending loss. Instead, during this final week of Elul and the upcoming Yamim Noraim, we should be spiritually clear enough to see every moment, as an opportunity to return to that which is holy.

Peace,

Rav Yitz