His Job Is To Shed Light, And Not To Master (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Lady With The Fan")

Our daughter's birthday will occur in a couple of weeks. Generally, I do not think about birthdays until the birthday is a few days away. However our daughter has taken it upon herself to remind me in the middle as early as the first week of April for her May birthday. Every quiet moment, when there is a lull in the conversation, she will tell give us the countdown to her birthday as well as a list of what she hopes to receive as a gift. Because she is the technologically savvy child, her choice of gifts tends to be expensive including: an IPhone, IPad, MacBook, or a new IPod. When I ask her why she wants these things, her first response is because she has friends that have these things so she wants them. As those words begin coming out of her mouth, I think about my father’s response to me when I asked for things because others had them. My daughter will see the look on my face; know full well that I am thinking about how to respond. She knows that my response to her requests will usually be based upon similar requests that I made of my father and knowing her grandfather and me so well, she begins offering alternate reasons as to why she wants these things for her birthday.  She knows that in our house, offering the explanation, “Because everyone else has it” will guarantee not getting the desired gift.

           

Like last week, this week’s Torah portion is a double Torah portion. Acharei Mot and Kodashim are combined and read together on this Shabbat, in this particular year. Yes, there are discussions about sacrifices. After all, we are still in the book of Leviticus. Like everything else in Leviticus, the Torah tells us how to increase holiness in our lives, and how we can atone for that lack of holiness when we fail to live up to this moral standard. Two weeks ago, we learned how to make the physical activity of eating a more spiritual and holy endeavor. Last week, we learned how to make the physical activity of procreation between a husband and wife a more spiritual and holy act.  In Acharei Mot, we learn that we must not defile ourselves in unholy relationships. In Kodashim, we are reminded of a series of positive and negative commandments that emphasize our behavior towards God as well as community members.

           

Both Acharei Mot and Kodashim contain a related theme. This theme is made explicit towards the end of Parsha Acharei Mot.  Ushmartem et Mishmorti L’vilti Asot MeiChukot HaToeivot Asher Na’Asu Lifneichem, V’lo Titamu Bahem, Ani Adonai Eloheichem- “You shall safeguard My charge not to do any of the abominable traditions that were done before you and not contaminate yourselves through them; I am the Lord your God.” (Lev.18:30). Here is God speaking to B’nai Yisroel just like my parents spoke to me, and just like I want to speak to my daughter. “I don’t care if all the other kids have an IPhone or an IPad. There is no reason to have one, it will just be another thing to divert your attention from your school work and being part of this family.” B’nai Yisroel cannot behave as other people. If they do, they will incur the same punishment as the “other people”, the Canaanites, the Moabites and all the other “ites” in the land. What was the punishment? If B’nai Yisroel behaves like all the “ites”, then they too will lose their right to the land.

In Parshah Kodashim, we see the flip side of God’s charge not to behave like the other nations. Instead we must behave like God. We must act holy. We don’t act holier than thou, just holy. God instructs Moshe to tell B’nai Yisroel: Kodashim Tiheyu Ki Kadosh Ani Adonai Eloheichem- You shall be holy, because I am holy, I am the Lord your God.” (Lev 19:2) Throughout the rest of the parshah, for every reason given, whether a positive or negative commandment, we hear the mantra “Ani Adonai Eloheichem”-I am the Lord your God.” Combining both Parshiot we learn that we don’t defile ourselves like other people. We don’t behave like other people. Rather we behave in a holy way.  We treat others in an ethical respectful manner. We treat our relationship with God in a respectful and ethical manner. We behave in a manner that purifies. We behave like a mentsche. We draw boundaries and distinctions as to what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. Just because everybody else behaves inappropriately and unethically does not mean we behave inappropriately. We “don’t set a stumbling block before the blind” (Lev.19:14). We don’t take revenge and we shall not bear a grudge against the members of our people (Lev.19:18). We also don’t crossbreed animals and we don’t mix plant and animal fibers in our garments, Shatnes (Lev.19:19). We only engage in appropriate relationships, we don’t marry our mothers or our sisters.  Why? Because, “I am the Lord your God.” We can hear this mantra in two ways. We can hear it as the ultimate “Because I am your mother (father) and I said so!” However, we can also hear it as the ultimate “Because I am your mother and father, and I don’t behave that way, and neither should you!” If we hear this mantra with the latter perspective, we know that God, like any good parent, provides an example of behavior, not by words but by deeds. God’s creative power is based upon division. So is ours. God creates holiness within the time space continuum. We create holiness within our physical activities, eating, praying, relationships with others, and our relationship to God.

When I explain to my daughter that she cannot have things that other kids have, there is only one reason. I explain to her and to all of our children that we raise our children according to our values, our sense of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. I remind our birthday girl that she will be treated her age and not older. She is turning 11, so we will buy her a gift that is appropriate for an 11 year old and an 11 year old's sense of responsibility. We will buy her clothes that are for an 11 year old and not 18 year old. I remind her that she is not like other daughters. She is our daughter, with our name, our values.  She frowns and then I smile and tell her “Guess what, we are not like everybody else”.  Of course this is what the Torah is teaching us.  We are a holy nation. Perhaps, we should speak to our children like God spoke to B’nai Yisroel. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Here Beside Him Stands A Man, A Soldier By The Looks Of Him (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - Lady With the Fan)

While we were on vacation, had an opportunity to be holding our son’s hand while walking in New York City.  As we were walking and talking we headed into a kosher restaurant. He saw an elderly man in a suit, a black hat, salt and pepper beard walk in just ahead of us. Our son looked up at me and said, “Abba, look at the Rabbi.” Now our son knows that I am a Rabbi. When asked what I do, he happily and readily tells them that I am a Rabbi. However on that particular day, I was wearing blue jeans, a fleece, winter boots, winter coat and a baseball cap. So when our son told me to look at the “Rabbi” walking in ahead of us; I felt compelled to ask, “How do you know that the man in the suit, black hat, and beard is a Rabbi?” I knew the answer but I wanted him to say it. “Abba, of course he is a Rabbi, look at him, he looks like a Rabbi.” I just looked at our son and then reminded him that I am a Rabbi. “Yes I know that you are a Rabbi, but you don’t look like a Rabbi!”

            In this week’s Parshah, Shmot, we encounter a man who is born a Jew, but he grows up in the Pharaoh’s palace. He is a totally assimilated Jew. Pharaoh’s daughter gives him an Egyptian name, “Moshe” (Ex 2:10). After fleeing Egypt, this well-bred, noble Egyptian, is befriended by a non-Jewish (Midian) priest, and marries his non-Jewish daughter (Ex 2:21). While shepherding his father-in-law’s flocks (Ex. 3:1), he experiences a revelation. Through an insignificant thorn bush that burns, he sees an angel and then God (Ex.3:1-3). God tells Moshe of the covenant and that he has been hired to lead B’nai Yisroel out of Egypt. Moshe humbly explains that he is the wrong person for the job. Mi Anochi Ki Eileich El Paroh - Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh…” (Ex.3:11). He doesn’t believe he has enough credibility to lead.  V’Hein Lo  YaAminu Li  V’Lo Yishmu B’Koli-They will not believe me and they will not heed my voice…” (Ex 4:1). He doesn’t speak well.  Lo Ish  Devarim Anochi…Ki Ch’Vad Peh U’ChVad Lashon Anochi -I am not a man of words…heavy of mouth and heavy of speech” (Ex. 4:10). Funny, Moshe doesn’t look like a leader, a prophet, and lawgiver and more importantly, when Moshe looks at himself, Moshe doesn’t see a leader, a prophet and a lawgiver.

            So what qualities made Moshe look like a leader or a prophet of God?  Typically, the younger generations of extremely old wealthy families tend to be involved in politics and leadership. Families like Kennedy, DuPont, Rockefeller,  Bush  and Trudeau come to mind. The children were taught to be involved and to give back to the community. Moshe, even though the text doesn’t indicate he learned this lesson from his “family”, was like the children of these families. He was brought up in the halls of power, he understood it, he knew how to use it, and he was bred for it. Unlike his Egyptian family however, Moshe also embodied one other absolutely vital quality. Moshe possessed the ability to empathize.  VaYidgal Moshe VaYetzei el Echav VaYar B’Sivlotam -Moshe grew up and went out to his brethren and observed their burdens…” (Ex.2:11). He could just as easily have stayed in the palace or not concern himself with the plight of the “underclass”. Moshe chose to get involved, he chose to make a difference, and he chose to make an improvement. All that was left for God to do was convince, and then command Moshe to lead. Also, God needed to provide Moshe with all the accouterments that Jewish leaders, prophets, and lawgivers required: access to God, and a tool that demonstrates a connection to both God and the people, in this case, a staff.

            So what do we learn from Moshe, and God’s choice of Moshe as the leader of B’nai Yisroel, even if he didn’t look like a leader? First, we learn that leadership means dealing with problems and issues, not ignoring them. Second, a leader is one who is willing to “put him/herself out on a limb” for the benefit of those less fortunate. Third, we learn that it is rare for  people go out of their way to seek solutions to problems, especially when it is easier to tolerate the problems and remain disenchanted, uninvolved, alienated and disinterested. Fourth, greatness in leadership is not found in a looking a certain way but rather responding and behaving in a certain way. You know it’s funny, but maybe Moshe really did look like a leader.

Peace,

Rav Yitz