I'll Still Sing You Love Songs, Written In The Letters Of Your Name (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "Looks Like Rain")

The bad thing about teen-age daughters is that they are teen-agers. The good thing about teen-age daughters is that eventually they will no long be teen-agers. In the meantime, I remind myself that “it’s a phase” or “patience this will end someday.” While our teen- age daughters are not quite “boy crazy”, they do have their pop culture teen heart throbs, such as One Direction, Nick Jonas, and Zac Efron. Of course, I recognize that this is merely the first step towards increased angst and aggravation about dealing with boys. In the meantime when they appear on tv or are heard on the radio, why must they scream or begin talking so loudly, quickly and excitedly.  I also keep reminding myself that although our teenagers are loud and dramatic about the “heart throb” thing; the real focus and concern should be upon our 25 year old. After all, she could actually meet someone, fall in love and get married. Until now I had very little anxiety about her and boys, and relationships. There are, not too many choices in Des Moines or Salt Lake City for a young woman who one day would like to have a Jewish home.  Now that she has moved to Philadelphia, a place with lots of Jewish graduate students, a sizeable Jewish population and only a 90 minute train ride from New York City, well let’s just say we perfectly happy with her dedication and focus upon her career in politics.

This Shabbat is the last day of Pesach. Among the additions to the Shabbat/Pesach service is the fact that we say Yizkor and commemorate the deceased. Because we are celebrating a Festival that did not have an intermediate Shabbat, but rather the last days fall on a Shabbat; we read a Megillah - a Scroll that corresponds to Pesach.  ChaZaL – our sages teach us that we read Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs. This biblical text, taken from Ketuvim (Writings) is attributed to Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon.  The eight chapters, which are song in a melody different from both Torah and Haftarah speaks of the young romantic love between a young couple.  I imagine that this young couple is in their early twenties but there is no evidence that suggests a specific age. One thing is for sure, because the text begins with the words: Shir HaShirim Asher L’Shlomo – The Song of Songs by Solomon. ChaZaL explains that only a young man in throes of romantic love would write such poetry. A middle age man wouldn’t write such romantic poetry since some of the idealism  of that romantic love would have waned, and certainly a older man, towards the end of life wouldn’t write of romantic love since an older man would be more scarred by life’s experience. Nevertheless, this beautiful poetry and the illusions of green meadows, deer, trees and fruit, portray a romantic vision that would great poets such as Shakespeare and Keats jealous with its use of language.

The question is why we read Shir HaShirim during the Pesach Festival. How is a nation attaining liberty remotely connected to Romantic poetry?  R’Akiva, the same R’Akiva that we all read about in the Haggada at our respective sedarim, comments that the Song of Songs is the holy of holies (Midrash Tanchuma).  We understand that something becomes holy when it has been separated from the mundane and ordinary and elevated to a higher purpose.  Certainly, Bnai Yisroel fits such a description. Throughout the story of the Yetziat Mitzrayim, when Moshe request of Pharaoh that Bnai Yisroel be released from bondage, Moshe repeatedly says to ‘Let me people go… Asher Ya’Avduni  “So that they may serve me.” Clearly the purpose of being released from Pharaoh’s slavery enabled Bnai Yisroel to enter into a relationship with God. As long as Pharaoh declined Moshe’s request, the more Pharaoh prevented Bnai Yisroel from separating itself from Egypt and elevating itself for the sole purpose of entering into a sacred relationship with God. Now that Bnai Yisroel has been freed from Egypt, it can return to the sacred relationship with God, a relationship that it had not experienced for over two centuries.  From that perspective, the relationship, with this generation of Bnai Yisroel is novel, idealistic and romantic. After all, within our tradition we view Hashem as our protector, we view Hashem as bound to the Jewish people much like a husband is bound to a wife. On Friday nights, we have a Kabalistic tradition of viewing the Shabbat Queen as our spiritual mate. After all, Sunday has Monday, Tuesday has Wednesday and Thursday has Friday. Can Shabbat really be left alone? According to Midrash, Shabbat is paired off with the Jewish People.  (Breishit Rabbah 11:8)The Shabbat Bride serves as a symbol of that pairing off.

As Pesach draws to a close,  our story doesn’t end, nor does our relationship with God draw to a conclusion. Because we are counting the Omer each evening up until 50, we understand that our job is to prepare ourselves for our long, awaited re-union with Hashem.  That re-union will occur on Shavuot when we stand at Sinai to receive the Torah. Shir HaShirim merely marks the beginning of a loving relationship, a courtship prior to a marriage,  a time when we should be full of romantic visions prior to entering a relationship built upon obligations.  As a father of three daughters, someday all three will grow into relationships that culminate in the sanctity of marriage. For now, however, I have enough anxiety just dealing with the inevitability of their interest in boys!

Peace,

Rav Yitz

You Will Follow Me And We Will Ride To Glory (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "Estimated Prophet")

I don’t know about you, but we are expecting a long lost relative to show up at our Seder this year. In fact, I am willing to bet that a long lost uncle will be showing up at many Seders in the United States and even in Canada. Well before Elijah shows up, this long lost cranky Uncle Bernie will make an appearance. No, he won’t be there physically, but make no mistake, Uncle Bernie will put in an appearance. It would have been way too tense with lots of political fireworks if our eldest daughter came home for Pesach. However, the woman for whom our daughter works needed our daughter in Pennsylvania for that state’s April 26^th primary.  I just hope that if and when Uncle Bernie shows up, there won’t be yelling, screaming, name calling, or long diatribes about the same thing over and over again.

Of course Uncle Bernie shows up when we open the door to symbolically welcome the needy into our home. Most likely he would have been there before screaming at us to “open the damn door already, there are millions of people who need our help and society has failed them”. So we open the door and in walks Uncle Bernie.  As he brusquely walked in, not even saying hello to my younger kids, nor my nieces and nephew, I would looked at him and told him that I open the “damn door” when the Hagaddah instructs me to open the door since I follow the prescribed order of the Hagaddah. I reminded him that we started our Seder at a certain time and he didn’t need to make such a scene.  As he sits down, he throws his first barb at me. He tells me that “I am a slave to Torah, to organized religion.” He tells me that I am a slave to the capitalist society and that “only a revolution”, of which he is the leader “can throw off the shackles of this current state of slavery.” Knowing that I will have a chance later, I dismiss his initial parry and tell Uncle Bernie that he should save his diatribe for later while we are eating or even better, after that last cup of wine.

                So as we working our way thought Hagaddah, I pick up the Matzah and explain that this is the bread of poverty, Uncle Bernie reminds us that we should always appreciate the fact that it’s not only the bread of poverty for Jews, especially after the Pesach shopping is complete, but we should always be aware of the poverty all around us and be sure to do something about it.  The kids are getting fidgety, “Yes Uncle Bernie, we know, and we will, but first, tonight is Pesach and we are celebrating our freedom and we are getting hungry.” So we managed to keep Uncle Bernie quiet long enough to work our way through the middle of the Hagaddah and are beginning with the Seder meal. He likes my wife’s chicken soup, he loves the hard-boiled egg in salt water, and apparently it reminds him of his upbringing in Brooklyn. Then dish after dish is placed upon the table, potatoes, chicken, brisket, some type of vegetable kugel, and other things that I have no idea what they could be. Does Uncle Bernie compliment my wife? No. Uncle Bernie complains that there is too much food and we should have given it away to the poor and the needy, and he refuses to eat. Standing on principle, or rather sitting on it, he begins another diatribe about Jews and too much food.  He even mentions that his mother would cook too much on certain occasions.

There it is, there is my opening. Under my breath but loud enough for Uncle Bernie to hear, I say “Sure, like May Day but definitely not on Shabbat, God forbid.” Now the gloves come off. While chewing some chicken, Uncle Bernie, who reminds me of so much of Larry Sanders yells at me, “I am just as Jewish as you are you self- righteous spiritually vapid slave.” Everyone stops and awaits my response.  “No, Uncle Bernie. You are a Jew. Your mother was a Jew.  Make no mistake, you are not just as Jewish. Nor am I self-righteous. I am observant. I believe in the particularism of Judaism as well as its universal values. However I do not sacrifice one at the expense of the other. For me, Pesach is NOT a one and done. Pesach is the embodiment of the hard work of raising a family, of passing along Jewish knowledge, of passing along the joy of being Jewish. It is not basking in a Judaism of ethnicity based upon a Brooklyn accent, bagels and lox, working on a kibbutz one summer. I am much more interested in the Jewish legacy that I leave with my kids. You know Uncle Bernie, I am sure that many Jews derive great pride in the fact that a Jew is running for President. Not me, I can’t tell you how upset that you are the one running for President. I wish it was Uncle Joe (Lieberman). You know why? Uncle Joe is Jewish. He isn’t just a Jew. Uncle Joe observes, he is proof that you strike a balance between the secular and the sacred; between the holy and the mundane. He is proof that you can raise kids and they will remain connected to a community and to a people. Uncle Bernie you can’t say the same thing. Your version of Judaism dies with you. Your version of Judaism with only universal values, while appealing to Millennials, will, unfortunately lead them astray once they get married, have kids, feel a bit mortal and want their kids to have a relationship with their grandparents. Beside a Judaism solely based upon Universalism demands very little if anything from its adherents. As a result there is nothing to pass down to the next generation.  You know Uncle Bernie, even Uncle Mikey (Michael Bloomberg) running for President would have been a better alternative than you. Although he is not so observant, Uncle Mikey is totally respectful, he would never think to call me self-righteous. Don’t think that I can’t see your sarcastic smirk because he is a multi- billionaire and the .001% of the 1%. You know how much Tzedakah he gives? You know how much he gives to charity, to Israel? Yep, Uncle Mikey doesn’t just talk a good game. Uncle Mikey puts his money where his mouth is. Tell me Uncle Bernie, you spent all these years in the Senate, what did you accomplish? You yelled a lot. You waved your arms a lot. You railed against many things that, I agree, were often hypocritical. But you know something Uncle Bernie, you spent so much time not being, not being a Democrat, not being Jewish, not being from Brooklyn ( you left when you were in your early twenties and moved to Vermont),  and don’t get me started about your behavior in New York State these past couple of weeks. Sure do the ethnic Jewish thing in New York. Big deal! For the rest of the primary states you don’t talk about being Jewish. Remember Uncle Bernie, in order to get stuff done you need to be a part of something”. 

“Tell me Uncle Bernie, do you know that the Midrash tells us that only 1/5 of the Jewish slaves left Egypt. The rest stayed in Egypt. I won’t say that you deny your Judaism, that is an insult to your father’s family who died in the Holocaust, and I don’t care if your social circle of friends in Vermont are Jews or not. But tell me Uncle Bernie, you have spent so much time trying to minimize the Particularism of Judaism and focus on the Universalist values, would you have left Egypt? After all, those who left, by definition had a sense of faith, they felt a sense of “choseness”. They had accepted the ideal that one must be different in behavior (ritual circumcision) all year round in order to participate in the Pesach offering. They were willing to create institutions and adhere to them rather than rid themselves of them. So tell me Uncle Bernie would you have been one of the 20% that left or remained with the 80% in Egypt. I can’t help but think that since you consistently align yourself with the 99% you would have found comfort with the vast majority as opposed to those who were truly revolutionary and willing to follow someone who was an incredibly uninspired speaker, Moshe.”

For the first time, Uncle Bernie is quiet. He finishes eating. Of course he doesn’t’ stay until the end. He didn’t really want to discuss anything. He didn’t really want to participate in the give and take of ideas and argument. He wanted to yell, and rage at all the problems but not offer solutions, nor enjoy the moments he had with us. So Uncle Bernie left, sure there were some food stains on his blue sport coat but I wasn’t going to say anything. And as we all exhaled deeply we were all happy to see Elijah come by for his cup of wine.

Peace

Rav Yitz

Standing On The Moon, Where Talk Is Cheap And Vision True (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Standing On The Moon")

For the past few months, as our Canadian friends watch coverage of the Presidential Campaign, and, needless to say they can’t believe what they watch and what they hear. Forget trying to explain primaries, delegates, conventions or anything else. They are amazed by what comes out of the candidates’ mouth. They are amazed at the personal insults that are hurled back and forth. Our children, since they are the “resident Americans” in the school also are frequently asked by their friends about the Presidential campaign, about Trump, Cruz, Sanders and Clinton and all the insults and all the hyperbole and all the gossip, rumor and hearsay that is bandied about in the respective campaigns. Admittedly, it is rather embarrassing to listen to what these people say about each other, or in the case of Trump and Cruz, what they say about each other’s wives. Theoretically it is important to discuss differences in policy, judgment and temperament.   As the candidates campaign just across Lake Ontario in New York State, unfortunately the reality is very different. Rather than an intelligent discussion, we are exposed to gossip, rumors, half- truths hyperbole and Lashon Hara. When asked about another candidate, we are told that they are unqualified, dangerous, threatens the fabric of life. A more novel approach would be for the candidate who is asked about another candidate to simply say “I don’t know”. Such an answer would demonstrated self-control, humility and probably a lot of wisdom.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Metzorah. The discussion and laws for Tamei/ Tahor (Purity & Impurity) as it affects human beings is continued from last week’s Parsha, Tazria. We continue to learn intricate details concerning how an individual becomes ritually purified, his/her reentrance into the camp, and the prominent role of the Kohen Gadol in ascribing a spiritual treatment for a physical expression of a spiritual problem. Besides discussing the laws of the Metzorah, the laws of one who suffers from this skin ailment, the Parsha also confronts the issues of the Metzorah spreading to a house and the method by which that impurity is removed from the house. The second half of the Parsha concentrates on the laws of Taharah Mishpachah, the laws of family purity.

          When Tzaraat is discovered on an individual, he or she would go to the Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, and undergo and examination. However if the Tzaarat spreads beyond the individual and pollutes the home: U’Vah Asher Lo HaBayit V’Higid LaKohen Leimor- “K’Negah NiReH Li BaBayit” – And he that owns the house shall come and tell the priest saying: It seems to me there is as it were a plague in the house. (Lev. 14:35) Even if the individual sees the Tzaarat, sees the impurity, knows that it is Tzaarat, the individual cannot and must not say that “It is plague in the house,” but rather K’Negah literally “It is like a plague”. Rashi explains that “even if the individual is learned and has no doubt as to the nature of the plague, he must not utter a definitive judgment, but merely declare “it seems”.  On the surface Rashi’s comment appears to be focused upon the issue of “Purity and Impurity”, and reminding us that the authority to decide and declare Purity and Impurity rests solely upon the High Priest.  The Talmud in Tractate Brachot 4a teaches: I have learned from my Masters that the wording is not associated with the definition of purity and impurity. Rather, it serves as a moral lesson, i.e., even in the event of certainty about an impurity, one should declare it as doubtful. Thus our Sages have stated, “Teach your tongue to say ‘I do not know’ “. The MaHaRaL of Prague (Rabbi Yehuda Loew of Prague 1525-1609) takes the lesson a step further. “Since it is but the priest who establishes the Nega (the plague and its legal implications); he would not be speaking the truth.” If that individual is not speaking the truth, then he is speaking Lashon HaRa.

Here in this simple statement “K’Negah” –It seems to be a plague” is simplest and most effective way to deal with Lashon HaRa- acknowledge that we “don’t know” for sure, and that we are not necessarily as authoritative as we think we are.  While I realize a candidate saying “I don’t know” might indicate a sense of weakness or lack of knowledge; “I don’t know, ask the other guy” might also be a sign of empowerment. Rather than sinking to the level of the press, and contributing to an otherwise nasty environment, “I don’t know, ask the other guy”, suggests self-discipline, thoughtfulness, and a dignity that the office of the President deserves.

Peace,

Rav Yitz