As the Harvey Weinstein fall out
continues, a resulting social media response focused upon giving voice to
victims of sexual harassment. The “#Me-Too” campaign on both Facebook and
Twitter, has allowed people who have been the victims of sexual harassment or
abuse to “raise their hands”, to speak out without feeling alone, isolated or
so ashamed. The #MeToo campaign not only gives voice to victims, but its
victims transcend race, religion, social class, and economic standing. As the #MeToo campaign has continued to
unfold, and our daughters have become aware of it discussing it in school and
at the dinner table; it’s incredible to think of the names of people being
mentioned. Editors of magazines, television personalities, politicians,
businessmen and university professors; just about anyone who occupies a position
of power, and authority deliberately confused borders and boundaries with those
who have little authority and little power to protect those borders and
boundaries. The #MeToo campaign has empowered those who had, at one point, been
un-empowered. When my daughters asked me what I thought of all
this, I told them that as a father, I want to be sure to raise strong,
independent women, who would never tolerate the harassment and raise their
voice in support of those who feel so alone and alienated that they can’t raise
their own voice and scream “me too.” Over the course of our discussion, our daughters now understand why
I raise them the way that I do, challenge them the way I do, push them in their studies the way I do, push them to be active in their community, to
question and to argue is because I want them to have the emotional and
spiritual tools to prevent them from becoming victims. I want them to have the tools to become strong independent women.
This Shabbat we read from Parsha
VaYeira. The narrative and adventures of Avraham the Patriarch continue. While
healing from his ritual circumcision, he fulfills the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, (hospitality). He
negotiates with God and reduces the number of righteous people that must be
found in Sodom and Gomorrah in order to prevent its destruction. The narrative
of Avraham is interrupted as we read the narrative of Lot, the two Angels (the
same two that had visited Avraham at the beginning of the parsha), the
destruction of the city, and the impure relationship that results when the
survivors think that world has been destroyed. The narrative returns to Avraham
as its focus and he and his wife Sarah give birth to a son (Yitzchak), the
banishment of Hagar and Ishmael (Avraham’s first born son and his concubine)
and the final test of his belief, the Akeidat
Yitzchak – the Offering of Isaac.
While the focus of the Parsha
deals primarily with Abraham, there is a very disturbing narrative about Lot,
Abraham’s nephew, Lot’s daughters, and the destruction of Sodom and Gemorrah.
As two of the three messengers leave Abraham, they make their way to Sodom and
Gomorrah in order to warn Lot and nine other “tzadikim” righteous inhabitants
of the impending destruction. Just as
Abraham demonstrated the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim (Hospitality) to these
strangers; Lot also welcomes the strangers into his home and feeds them. The
townspeople of Sodom see Lot welcome these strangers and want Lot to send the
strangers out to them. Lot, aware that sending out the strangers to the
townspeople, would mean trouble for guests; comes up with a very troubling
solution. VaYeitze Aleihem Lot HaPetcha
V’HaDelet Sagar Acharav- Lot went out to them to the entrance, and shut the
door behind him. Va’Yomer Al Nah Achai
TaRei’U – And he said, “I beg you, my brothers, do not act wickedly. Hinei
Na Li Sh’tei Vanot Asher Lo Yadu Ish Otziah Na Ethein Aliechem V’Asu La’Hein
Ka’Tov B’Eineichem Rok L’Anashim Ha’Eil Al Ta’Asu Davar Ki Al Kein Ba’u B”Tzeil
Korati – See, now, I have two
daughters who have never known a man. I shall bring them out to you and do to
them as you please; but to these men do nothing inasmuch as they have come
under the shelter of my roof (Gen. 19:6-8).
Unbelievable! A father offers his own daughters to a crazed mob in an
attempt to placate them. The Midrash Tanchuma expresses a deep disturbance with
Lot’s behavior: “Said the Holy One
Blessed is He to Lot: ‘By your life! It is for yourself that you keep them’
because the end was that the drunken Lot lived with his daughters and they
conceived by him.” The victims, the daughters, are just that, victims. They
never had a chance to be anything but victims. For the Talmudic Sages of
Midrash Tanchuma, the daughters’ plight goes as far back as Lot’s decision to
move to Sodom and to be like the people of Sodom. His values were so misplaced
and corrupt that it manifest itself with his daughters. So, because he had
managed to damage his daughters by offering them to the mob in Sodom, he would
constantly be reminded of his behavior and the damage he wrought by the fact
that his daughters would use him in an a corrupt and reprehensible deed that
will bring forth children whose names serve as mockery to their father: Moab
(From father) and Ben-Ammi (Son of My Father). Lot would be the one to live
with the shame the rest of his life.
Harvey Weinstein, Bill O’Reilly,
Donald Trump and any other man that has power and authority and deals with
women have not made it easy being a father of daughters. These men and people like them have made my
daughters’ world a little darker and a little meaner and a little more
threatening. So when the world is a
little darker, we teach our daughters to be strong, resolute and vigilant about
shining a light on the darkness. When the world is a little meaner we teach our
daughters to retain their dignity, their grace, and their sense of Menschlekeit.
When the world is a little more threatening we teach our daughters and our sons
how to identify and acknowledge the
threat, avoid the threat, make sure that the threat eventually becomes
insignificant and harmless, and always be a well- lit sanctuary from the likes
of the Sodom and Gomorrah out there.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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