Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Like A Child She Is Pure, She Is Not To Blame (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Help Is On The Way")



As the Harvey Weinstein fall out continues, a resulting social media response focused upon giving voice to victims of sexual harassment. The “#Me-Too” campaign on both Facebook and Twitter, has allowed people who have been the victims of sexual harassment or abuse to “raise their hands”, to speak out without feeling alone, isolated or so ashamed. The #MeToo campaign not only gives voice to victims, but its victims transcend race, religion, social class, and economic standing.  As the #MeToo campaign has continued to unfold, and our daughters have become aware of it discussing it in school and at the dinner table; it’s incredible to think of the names of people being mentioned. Editors of magazines, television personalities, politicians, businessmen and university professors; just about anyone who occupies a position of power, and authority deliberately confused borders and boundaries with those who have little authority and little power to protect those borders and boundaries. The #MeToo campaign has empowered those who had, at one point, been un-empowered.  When  my daughters asked me what I thought of all this, I told them that as a father, I want to be sure to raise strong, independent women, who would never tolerate the harassment and raise their voice in support of those who feel so alone and alienated that they can’t raise their own voice and scream “me too.” Over the course of our discussion, our daughters now understand why  I raise them the way that I do, challenge them the way I do, push them in their studies the way I do, push them to be active in their community, to question and to argue is because I want them to have the emotional and spiritual tools to prevent them from becoming victims. I want them to have the tools to become strong independent women.
This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeira. The narrative and adventures of Avraham the Patriarch continue. While healing from his ritual circumcision, he fulfills the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, (hospitality). He negotiates with God and reduces the number of righteous people that must be found in Sodom and Gomorrah in order to prevent its destruction. The narrative of Avraham is interrupted as we read the narrative of Lot, the two Angels (the same two that had visited Avraham at the beginning of the parsha), the destruction of the city, and the impure relationship that results when the survivors think that world has been destroyed. The narrative returns to Avraham as its focus and he and his wife Sarah give birth to a son (Yitzchak), the banishment of Hagar and Ishmael (Avraham’s first born son and his concubine) and the final test of his belief, the Akeidat Yitzchak – the Offering of Isaac.
While the focus of the Parsha deals primarily with Abraham, there is a very disturbing narrative about Lot, Abraham’s nephew, Lot’s daughters, and the destruction of Sodom and Gemorrah. As two of the three messengers leave Abraham, they make their way to Sodom and Gomorrah in order to warn Lot and nine other “tzadikim” righteous inhabitants of the impending destruction.  Just as Abraham demonstrated the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim (Hospitality) to these strangers; Lot also welcomes the strangers into his home and feeds them. The townspeople of Sodom see Lot welcome these strangers and want Lot to send the strangers out to them. Lot, aware that sending out the strangers to the townspeople, would mean trouble for guests; comes up with a very troubling solution. VaYeitze Aleihem Lot HaPetcha V’HaDelet Sagar Acharav- Lot went out to them to the entrance, and shut the door behind him. Va’Yomer Al Nah Achai TaRei’U – And he said, “I beg you, my brothers, do not act wickedly.  Hinei Na Li Sh’tei Vanot Asher Lo Yadu Ish Otziah Na Ethein Aliechem V’Asu La’Hein Ka’Tov B’Eineichem Rok L’Anashim Ha’Eil Al Ta’Asu Davar Ki Al Kein Ba’u B”Tzeil Korati See, now, I have two daughters who have never known a man. I shall bring them out to you and do to them as you please; but to these men do nothing inasmuch as they have come under the shelter of my roof (Gen. 19:6-8).  Unbelievable! A father offers his own daughters to a crazed mob in an attempt to placate them. The Midrash Tanchuma expresses a deep disturbance with Lot’s behavior: “Said the Holy One Blessed is He to Lot: ‘By your life! It is for yourself that you keep them’ because the end was that the drunken Lot lived with his daughters and they conceived by him.” The victims, the daughters, are just that, victims. They never had a chance to be anything but victims. For the Talmudic Sages of Midrash Tanchuma, the daughters’ plight goes as far back as Lot’s decision to move to Sodom and to be like the people of Sodom. His values were so misplaced and corrupt that it manifest itself with his daughters. So, because he had managed to damage his daughters by offering them to the mob in Sodom, he would constantly be reminded of his behavior and the damage he wrought by the fact that his daughters would use him in an a corrupt and reprehensible deed that will bring forth children whose names serve as mockery to their father: Moab (From father) and Ben-Ammi (Son of My Father). Lot would be the one to live with the shame the rest of his life.
Harvey Weinstein, Bill O’Reilly, Donald Trump and any other man that has power and authority and deals with women have not made it easy being a father of daughters.  These men and people like them have made my daughters’ world a little darker and a little meaner and a little more threatening.  So when the world is a little darker, we teach our daughters to be strong, resolute and vigilant about shining a light on the darkness. When the world is a little meaner we teach our daughters to retain their dignity, their grace, and their sense of Menschlekeit. When the world is a little more threatening we teach our daughters and our sons how to identify and acknowledge  the threat, avoid the threat, make sure that the threat eventually becomes insignificant and harmless, and always be a well- lit sanctuary from the likes of the Sodom and Gomorrah out there.
Peace,
Rav Yitz

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