With three daughters, every so often I get anxious regarding that moment when they begin to seriously date a boy, or have strong feelings for a boy, or begin an exclusive relationship with a boy. With a daughter in her twenties and two teenage daughters; my wife and I want boys to be interested in our daughters. We want our daughters to go out on dates. However, my desire for them to have the excitement of “puppy love” is quickly tempered by my anxiety of their being in a serious relationship and how that new relationship affects my relationship with my daughters. It is at that point, I try to stop thinking about the fact that my daughters are growing older (as am I), and try to end my anxiety attack.
This Shabbat is the last day of Pesach. Among the additions to the Shabbat/Pesach service is the fact that we say Yizkor and commemorate the deceased. Because we are celebrating a Festival that did not have an intermediate Shabbat, but rather the last days fall on a Shabbat; we read a Megillah - a Scroll that corresponds to Pesach. ChaZaL – our sages teach us that we read Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs. This biblical text, taken from Ketuvim (Writings) is attributed to Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon. The eight chapters, which are a song in a melody different from both Torah and Haftarah speaks of the romantic love of a young couple. I imagine that this young couple is in their early twenties but there is no evidence that suggests a specific age. Because the text begins with the words: Shir HaShirim Asher L’Shlomo – The Song of Songs by Solomon; ChaZaL explains that only a young man in throes of romantic love would write such poetry. A middle age man wouldn’t write such romantic poetry since some of the idealism of that romantic love would have waned, and certainly an older man, towards the end of life wouldn’t write of romantic love since an older man would be more scarred by life’s experience. Nevertheless, this beautiful poetry and the illusions of green meadows, deer, trees, and fruit, portray a romantic vision that would great poets such as Shakespeare and Keats jealous with its use of language.
The question is why we read Shir HaShirim during the Pesach Festival. How is a nation attaining liberty remotely connected to Romantic poetry? R’Akiva, the same R’Akiva that we all read about in the Haggada at our respective sederim, comments that the Song of Songs is the holy of holies (Midrash Tanchuma). We understand that something becomes holy when it has been separated from the mundane and ordinary and elevated to a higher purpose. Certainly, B'nai Yisroel fits such a description. Throughout the story of the Yetziat Mitzrayim, when Moshe request of Pharaoh that B'nai Yisroel is released from bondage, Moshe repeatedly says to ‘Let me people go… Asher Ya’Avduni “So that they may serve me.” Clearly, the purpose of being released from Pharaoh’s slavery enabled B'nai Yisroel to enter into a relationship with God. As long as Pharaoh declined Moshe’s request, the more Pharaoh prevented B'nai Yisroel from separating itself from Egypt and elevating itself for the sole purpose of entering into a sacred relationship with God. Now that B'nai Yisroel has been freed from Egypt, it can return to the sacred relationship with God, a relationship that it had not experienced for over two centuries. From that perspective, the relationship, with this generation of B'nai Yisroel is novel, idealistic and romantic. After all, within our tradition we view Hashem as our protector, we view Hashem as bound to the Jewish people much like a husband is bound to a wife. On Friday nights, we have a Kabbalistic tradition of viewing the Shabbat Queen as our spiritual mate. After all, Sunday has Monday, Tuesday has Wednesday and Thursday has Friday. Can Shabbat really be left alone? According to Midrash, Shabbat is paired off with the Jewish People. (Bereishit Rabba h 11:8)The Shabbat Bride serves as a symbol of that pairing off.
As Pesach draws to a close, our story doesn’t end, nor does our relationship with God draw to a conclusion. Because we are counting the Omer each evening up until 50, we understand that our job is to prepare ourselves for our long, awaited reunion with Hashem. That reunion will occur on Shavuot when we stand at Sinai to receive the Torah. Shir HaShirim merely marks the beginning of a loving relationship, a courtship prior to a marriage, a time when we should be full of romantic visions prior to entering a relationship built upon obligations. As a father of three daughters, someday all three will grow into relationships that culminate in the sanctity of marriage. For now, however, I have enough anxiety just dealing with “young romantic” love.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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