You May Be The Fate Of Ophelia, Sleeping And Perchance To Dream (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Althea")

I have always enjoyed it when Chanukah and Christmas overlap. On a very basic level, everyone is in the supermarket or the mall for the same reasons. They are buying food for the Holiday parties and feasts. So I happened to be at the supermarket this week and I bumped into a friend who, like us, has a daughter preparing to study in Israel next year. We discussed where our daughters applied, their first choice and what we hope they learn while learning for the year in Israel. The friend explained why he wanted his daughter to study at a particular seminary.  One of their considerations for applying to a Seminary was the institution’s ability to protect and shield their daughter from all the shmutz of modern society, all the hedonistic behavior, the drugs, and all the difficult things that teenagers have to deal with. The father continued and explained that he quietly hoped that she would spend not one but two years learning, meet a boy, return from her two years as very religious and very observant and gets married. I smiled and I pointed that it seemed like my friend was hoping that a year or two at Seminary would allow her to retreat from and provide a sanctuary and protection for his daughter from all the negative aspects of secularism, of hedonistic western culture. After he finished, I was prepared to depart and continue with my shopping. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of asking me my opinion.  So I offered my opinion. I explained that I had great difficulty in ascribing such power to an institution to protect my children from modern secular culture.  I explained that I was far more concerned that the institutions, like our home, offer our daughter the tools to deal with, and not deny the negative aspects of secularism in our everyday culture. The question, I said to my friend, is how assimilated will our children become, how assimilated with they be in their home, in their daily behavior, in attitude, and in the acknowledgment of the world around them. We wished each other good luck and continued with my Chanukah food shopping.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Mikeitz. Mikeitz always coincides with Chanukah.  The Parsha begins two years from when VaYeishev concluded. Pharaoh has a dream. He is unsatisfied with all attempts to interpret it. Pharaoh's wine chamberlain remembers that Yosef accurately interpreted his dream while in prison. Yosef is released from prison and brought before Pharaoh. He interprets that soon will begin seven years of abundance followed by seven years of severe famine. Pharaoh appoints him as viceroy to oversee the project. Egypt becomes the granary of the world. Yaakov sends his sons to Egypt to buy food. The brothers come before Yosef and bow to him. Yosef recognizes them but they do not recognize him. Without disclosing his identity, Yosef sells the brothers' food but keeps Shimon hostage until they bring their brother Binyamin to him as proof that they are who they say they are. Yaakov refuses to let Binyamin go to Egypt, but when the famine grows unbearable, he accedes. Yehuda guarantees Binyamin's safety, and the brothers go to Egypt. Yosef welcomes the brothers lavishly as honored guests. When he sees Binyamin he rushes from the room and weeps. Yosef instructs his servants to replace the money in the sacks and to put his goblet inside Binyamin's sack. When the goblet is discovered, Yosef demands Binyamin become his slave as punishment. Yehuda interposes and offers himself instead, but Yosef refuses.

For the first time, beginning in last week’s Torah portion, VaYeishev and again in Mikeitz, we read about an individual encounter a dominant culture while still retaining his sense of code and morality. Avraham left the dominant culture and encountered it periodically but did so accompanied by his wife. Yitzchak encountered a different culture but had never left home in a spiritual nor a physical sense (he always remained in the land). Even Yaakov never had to confront a dominant culture. Yes, his uncle Lavan was an idol worshipper, but it was family and besides Uncle Lavan’s was a tribal culture. When Yaakov encountered Shechem, he did so accompanied by his sons. However, Yosef was in his late teens, early twenties when arrived in Egypt. He worked for Potifar. He had to stave off the sexual harassment of Potifar’s wife and accept the injustice of prison. At the beginning of Mikeitz, we find Yosef in prison, still referred to as Naar Ivri- Hebrew Youth even though he is 30 (Gen. 41:46).  Even after interpreting Pharaohs’ dreams, becoming a Viceroy, wearing Egyptian clothes, looking Egyptian, being clean-shaven like an Egyptian, speaking Egyptian, marrying an Egyptian woman (Asnat) and receiving an Egyptian name (Zaphenat Paneah), and essentially living an Egyptian lifestyle; Yosef somehow manages to maintain his tribal loyalty, his Jewishness, his sense of morality and code. When Pharaoh tells Yosef about his dream and is asked to interpret it; VaYa’An Yosef et Paroh Leimor, Biladai Elohim Ya’Eneh et Shlom Paroh – Joseph answered Pharaoh saying, That is beyond me; it is God who will respond with Pharaoh’s welfare.   The Or HaChaim comments that Biladai is not only a humble expression “that is beyond me”. Biladai means “this does not depend on me”. This is not only an indication of Yosef giving credit for his “Dream Telling Gift” to God. Yosef subtly indicates that his code and his theology will not waver within this overbearing and all-encompassing culture. Yosef adds the words Shlom Paroh- literally, the peace of Pharaoh. Yosef is merely a vessel, and he isn’t so much interpreting a dream, instead, he is providing a prophecy. As a result, Yosef must speak truth to power and cannot bend or interpret the meaning to satisfy some other agenda or plan except God’s plan.

Yosef, at the relatively young age of 30 has accepted the fact that his path, although his choosing, is part of God’s plan. Yes, some people are lucky to sense that a plan has been revealed to them. Yosef’s spiritual strength, his unwavering sense of belonging to a covenantal relationship means that no matter the name, no matter the clothes, no matter the culture, he is acutely aware that certain constants will keep him grounded in his relationship with God.  As parents, we don’t really know the paths any of our children are supposed to take. We can hope, and we can offer them guidance as they make their way along the path most suited to them, a path that fits their values and for which they are passionate. Eventually, they will need to make those decisions for themselves. While we light the Chanukah candles, we are reminded of Judaism’s survival within a powerful Hellenistic culture, we are reminded of Yosef surviving within a powerful Egyptian culture. We only hope that we have provided them enough tools, enough education and enough grounding in values that we deem important so that their decisions are an expression of a moral code and covenant to which they belong.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

We'll Still Have Our Place Of Peace, Our Love Will Linger On (Willie Dixon, Rob Wasserman & Bob Weir - "Eternity")

On a typical Friday night Shabbat dinner, as part of the blessings, we sing Shalom Aleichem (Peace to you). Looking at my wife and children, it becomes abundantly clear how worn out everyone is from the week just passed. Besides a fulltime job, my wife prepares a Shabbos feast.  Our children’s school day is typically longer than the standard 9-5 job and their work week s typically longer than the standard 40-hour workweek). Even after their long week, they are expected to pitch in and help prepare for Shabbat dinner. Needless to say by the time we finish eating dinner, Shalom – Peace, permeates the house. They adjourn from the table, make the way to the sofa and begin reading. All the while, I clean up the dining room, and the kitchen put away the leftovers and wash the dishes. The entire clean up takes about 30 minutes. By the time I finish cleaning my wife and children have ceased reading and are all in a deep slumber. The house is so quiet, so peaceful. Gone are the weekday requests for “homework help”, food shopping, house fixing, or the myriad of things that my wife and children need me to do.  During these moments I have a profound sense of Shalom, of Peace. Everything is put away, shalom. Everyone is safely home, Shalom. There is no anxiety of teenagers driving my car, Shalom, no worrying about my California born wife driving in bad weather, Shalom. There is no dealing with overtired frustrated high school students, shalom.  I pour myself a cup of hot tea, I sit, stretch my legs out, and for the next 30-45 minutes, I get to quietly study the weeks Torah portion without any interruptions. Indeed, for those 30-45 minutes, depending upon how tired I am, I experience the calm and the quiet of Shalom, of peace, knowing that for a moment everything is Shaleim, whole and complete.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Vayeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parsha: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and the subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him but instead threw him into an empty pit nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit, sold as a slave and worked in the home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. The Parsha concludes with Yosef being sent to prison.

Unfortunately for Yaakov, and his family, there wasn’t an abundance of Shalom-Peace in their home. Yaakov’s son’s despised Yosef. VaYiru Echov Ki Oto Ahav Avihem MiKol Echav Vayisnu oto V’ Lo Yachlu Dabro L’Shalom – His brothers [Yosef’s brothers] saw that it was he [Yosef] whom their father loved the most of all the brothers; so they hated him and they could not speak peaceably to whom. (Gen 37:4). The brothers hated Yosef so much they couldn’t utter the words “Peace to You”, even as a common salutation or farewell. They were so jealous that they couldn’t muster the patience to inquire about their brother Yosef’s welfare. The Vilna Gaon explains this verse in light of a Talmud teaching from Berachot 64a: “one who takes leave of his friend should say Lech L ’Shalom – go TO peace rather than Lech B’Shalom – go IN peace. Although the difference is one letter, a Lamed for L’Shalom (to Peace) and a Bet for B’Shalom - In peace; it is the difference between e active and the passive, between the dynamic and the static, between the participating in the journey that was the week just passed, and the week passing by. For the brothers to withhold the blessing of L’Shalom- suggests that they were withholding their blessing that Yosef continues on his life’s journey. It’s no wonder that soon after they plan to kill him.

            As I sip my tea and study, I look at my wife and children, slumbering on the sofa. Knowing that I will have to help them to bed, I sit and look at them just a bit longer. Indeed, it seems that the week that has past was a journey, full of ups and downs. Perhaps there is something to be said for having successfully completed the week, completed the journey and grew as a person. For Yosef and the brothers, there was no such Peace nor will there be until Yosef and his brothers return to each other many years later. Their exhaustion is due to a lack of Peace.  However, our exhaustion is merely the physical manifestation of completing this journey and preparing for the next one that begins after Shabbat.  Certainly, our ability to tolerate and handle the journey is directly proportionate to be able to Lech L’Shalom.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Shadow boxing the apocalypse yet again, yet again. Shadow boxing the apocalypse, and wandering the land. (John Barlow & Bob Weir "My Brother Esau")

While our daughters were home for Thanksgiving, their friends came by to visit and we discussed Jewish life and anti- Semitism on college/university campuses. I especially wanted our grade 12 daughter to listen and be a part of the discussion since she is in the process of applying to universities both in Ontario and in the North East U.S. One friend of our 19-year-old daughter’s friends is an observant woman and only wears skirts. She attends a university in Toronto. The friend explained that while she is aware of the institutional anti-Semitism and the BDS campaigns; because she doesn’t live on campus, it doesn’t feel as acute.  Far more troubling has been the anti-Semitism she has encountered on an individual basis. She explained that her lab partner is an observant Muslim. The friend explained that she and the lab partner seemed to get along as both were very respectful of issues of religion, and they shared a common concern about an over-emphasis upon the secular. Well, when the young Muslim woman noticed a pro-Israel sticker on our daughter’s friend’s computer; the Muslim woman refused to work with our daughter’s friend. Eventually, she switched out of the lab and now our daughter’s friend no longer has a lab partner. When she does see her former lab partner; she receives no acknowledgment, and the former lab partner won’t speak to her nor acknowledge her existence.

This week we read from Parsha VaYishlach. We read Yaakov’s preparation for the reunion with his brother Esav. We read about Yaakov’s wrestling match. We read about Yaakov and Esav’s reunion. We read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and her unholy tryst with Shechem a member of the Hivvites. We learn of what many consider to be the fanatical response on behalf of her brother Shimon and Levi. Yaakov returns to Bet El, the place where he dreamt of the ladder many years before, builds an altar, and receives the covenant from God. During that process, God changes his name from Yaakov to Yisroel. And while we read about the name change at the very beginning of the Parsha, that name change was given by another being (Gen. 32:29). Rachel dies as well as a wet nurse named Deborah. Finally, we read a list of Yaakov’s children as well as Esav’s descendants and the princes of Edom.

Yaakov’s trepidation prior to his reunion with his brother stems from the one unanswered question. “Does my brother still wish to kill me”? “What can I do to prevent Esav from killing me and wiping out my family?” Yaakov just crossed the Yabok River and is unsure as to what to expect from his brother Esav.  VaYaratz Esav Likrato VaiChabkeihu, VaYipol Al Tzavarav Vayishahkeihu Vayivku – Esav ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him; then they wept (Gen. 33:4).  The plain meaning suggests Esav has forgiven his brother. The plain meaning suggests that nearly two decades have washed away Esav’s animosity towards his brother and he no longer desires to harm his younger brother. Esav embraces his brother and kisses him. Yet questions about Esav and his attitudes toward his brother remain. Esav’s actions: the embrace, the kiss, even the manner in which he ran towards Yaakov and “fell upon him” could be easily interpreted as something far more disturbing even ominous for Yaakov and his family. There are four dots that appear in the Torah text above the word VaYishahkeihu – And he kissed him. What do the dots indicate? Is there a difference between the embrace when there is genuine affection as opposed to an embrace when there still a deep-seated animosity? As early as the late 2^nd century, R’ Shimon ben Eliezer, in B’reishit Rabba (The Talmudic Sages’ commentary on the TaNaCh) explained that VaYishaKiehu with the letter Kuf means “kiss”. However, if the dot above that letter suggests that the letter ought to be a Kaf,  then “he kissed him”, would mean “and he bit him”. Whereupon, Yaakov’s neck turned to marble and thus preventing Esav from biting Yaakov’s neck. An 8^th/9^th century text, the Midrash Tanchuma, explains the approach, kiss, and tears in a more ominous manner. Esau should be compared to a wolf that sought to bite Yaakov. When Yaakov’s neck turned to marble, Esav’s teeth “were set on edge”. Both men cried but for different reasons.  Esav was frustrated because he will have to wait for another opportunity to kill his brother, and Yaakov cried because he understands that he would always remain on ready in case of another attack.

For the Rabbinic Sages, Esav, and his tribe Edom came to symbolize Rome. When Rome became Christian, that symbolism became more poignant. As the Church became more anti-Semitic throughout the first and second millennia, Yaakov and his descendants, the Jewish people, had to remain vigilant about the anti-Semitism that originated from his brother. With the rise of political extremism on both the political left and the political, Jews have to remain vigilant. These displays of anti-Semitism from either extreme whether it is supporting BDS speakers and policies or white nationalist pro-fascist speakers and policies, both are easy to identify on a university/college campus.  For our 12^th grade daughter, it is reason enough not to apply to such an institution. However, what is more difficult, and perhaps more hurtful on a personal level, is the antisemitism encountered on an individual and personal basis as manifested in our daughter’s friend’s experience. When asked about this type of anti-Semitism, our 12^th grade daughter explained that she expects to encounter that type of anti-Semitism. However she is thoughtful enough to understand and see the distinction between individuals and institutions. To her credit, she like Jacob, understood that she would have to deal with that type of anti-Semitism on a contextual case by case basis.

Peace,

Rav Yitz