Faring Thee Well Now; Let Your Life Proceed By Its Own Designs (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Cassidy")

Well no sooner than the school year starts and the Jewish Holidays are upon us. With kids in day school, the holidays mean a few days of school and a few days off from school between now and the middle of October. With a daughter in Grade 12 (12^th grade if you speak American), we have entered a new realm of anxiety. Our daughter discovered it late last week. We all know it as the future. Yes, late last week, it dawned on our daughter that she actually had to deal with and make plans for the future. She knows that she has to apply to colleges and universities, she wants to take a gap year in Israel, so she needs to decide on a program that fits her, her interests and the type of learning she wants to engage in. If she is planning on going to university/college in the United States she has to take standardized tests: SAT’s or ACT’s. Late last week, she was overtired, she was stressed about a biology assignment and now the subject of standardized tests came up. She became very upset, angry and didn’t want to listen to anyone or any advice. She knew it all, didn’t like any of the choices and at that moment decided that the only place she was going to the next four years was our basement.  A few days later she actually had a good night’s sleep. That afternoon, a completely different daughter peeked her head outside and saw that I was waking up from a nap. She wanted to talk. She wanted to talk about her future. She wanted to discuss a strategy of how to determine which Israel program she wants to go on. She wanted to discuss colleges and universities in the U.S. or Canada. She wanted to discuss standardized tests. I suggested that we limit the discussion to the Province of Ontario, the Northeast United States where there is a vibrant Jewish student population. We talked. She listened as did I. I assume there was anxiety but suddenly it didn’t cause paralysis; instead she seemed excited about the future.

This Shabbat, the Shabbat between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, is known as Shabbat Shuva, The Shabbat of Return. We read from Parshat Ha’Azinu.  The Parsha is poetry, a song that God had commanded Moshe to compose in the previous Parsha, VaYeleich. Composing this song was the final deed that God commanded Moshe. The song is the final prophecy that God told Moshe in the previous Parsha, VaYeilech.  As a song, it is not contain the most pleasant of lyrics, and it is not particular uplifting or inspiration. The song does not offer such an optimistic future.  Rather, Moshe invokes Heaven and Earth to offer testimony to God’s prophecy and future punishment against his people.  Throughout Sefer Devarim, Deuteronomy, Moshe has taught the law, and inspired Bnai Yisroel to choose fidelity to God and God’s Torah.  Choosing to follow would result in a reward. Choosing not to follow would result in a punishment. Now, during the final moments of Moshe Rabeinu’s life, the song suggests neither choice nor the results of that choice. Instead we are told that we will choose badly and that we will be punished.  There is nothing explicit within the song that suggests or even offers a means by which we are able to do Tshuva (repent) and ultimately return to God. While intellectually, Moshe has taught that concept to Bnai Yisroel; here in the song that possibility is not explicit.

However when the song is complete, Moshe speaks his word to Bnai Yisroel. His words offer a sense of hope, a sense of inspiration. He reminds Bnai Yisroel that even when they have grown distant from God, even though the resulting punishment will be brutal; there is still a measure of hope, hope for the next generation.  SImu Levavchem L’Chol Hadvarim Asher Anochi Mei’id Bachem Hayom, Asher T’Tzavoom et Bnaichem Lishmor La’Asot et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot -  Apply your hearts to all the words that I Testify against you today, with which you are to instruct your children, to be careful to perform all the words of this Torah.  Ki Lo Davar Reik Hu Mikem Ki Hu Chayeichem Uvadavar HaZeh Ta’Arichu Yamim – for it is not an empty thing for you, for it is your life, and through this matter shall you prolong your days on the Land to which you cross the Jordan to possess it. In Moshe’s final moments, he reminds us that the key to our survival is to teach Torah to our children. Yes, according to the song, we will grow distant from God, yes we will engage in idolatry. Yes we will be punishment. However there will always be hope for the next generation if they are educated in such a manner that when it comes time for them to make a choice; they choose wisely, they choose God’s Torah.  Moshe reminds his people that the Torah is not empty. Rashi reminds us that if we find Torah to be empty and unsatisfying then the fault lies with us, Mikem.

             While the conversation with my daughter lasted only about 30 minutes. It seemed positive or at least it will be positive until the anxiety becomes overwhelming again.  For now at least, for the past few days, she doesn’t seem to be dreading the future. No she doesn’t know specifically which program for her gap year, no she hasn’t been accepted nor has she even applied to colleges and universities. In fact, she sat down and began looking at the ACT examination, and began preparing for that standardized exam. However, she understands that there are things that she has to do, things she has to find out about, information she needs to obtain and a strategy that she needs to follow in order to achieve her five year future. She understand that if she engages in this process with an open heart and positive attitude; then her future won’t be such an empty thing.

Gmar Chatima Tova – May we all be sealed in the Book of Life,

Peace,

Rav Yitz

There Were Days Between, Summer Flies And August Dies, The World Grows Dark And Mean (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Days Between")

Every morning for the past week, I have been waking up earlier than normal and, along with a few other people, attended Selichot. Selichot are penitential prayers, supplications and poetry invoking God as Judge, God as Merciful, and a God that remembers biblical ancestors. I usually sit in my spot, with a mug of coffee and follow as the Baal Tefillah begins the service. For the first five to ten minutes I am not quite awake, after all the coffee hasn’t quite kicked in. Then I am involved following along, listening to the tune, and reading the words. At some point each morning during Selichot, I have a moment, a moment where I begin asking all the existential questions. Where am I in my life? What exactly have I accomplished in my life? Am I the best possible me that I can be? The answers aren’t so positive nor uplifting and if I ended the process then, I would probably be diagnosed with Depression. But the process doesn’t end there. As I continue working my way through the Selichot liturgy, it concludes with reminders and reassurances. Maybe the existential answers to my existential questions are not particularly uplifting. However I know that I am not alone. The Selichot service concludes with a series of statements including the refrain: Hu Aneinu- He answers. That is re-assuring.  Maybe my supplications and prayers are not answered at that moment. However my moment of clarity leaves me with a stronger faith, a faith that eventually there will be an answer. I just need to stay engaged and involved and maybe the difficult question that leave me troubled will eventually be resolved and leave me comforted.

We are keenly aware that we are in a very special time of year. We are in the midst of a very spiritual time of year. We are in the midst of a ten day period from Rosh HaShanah until Yom Kippur knows as the Aseret Yamei T’shuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance. As the name suggests, this is the time of year in which we seek M’chila or forgiveness for any transgression we have committed. We seek forgiveness from God, and we seek forgiveness from family and friends. Mostly, it seems to me, that during these ten days we honestly look at ourselves and assume that we have hurt others instead of being shocked when we find out that we are capable of hurting another. The ability to engage in this process known as Shuvah, the process of returning to holiest aspect of our being, requires great clarity.   Sometimes clarity comes on a starry night. Sometimes clarity comes sipping coffee at sunrise. Sometimes clarity comes at childbirth. Sometimes clarity comes when you tuck your children into bed and wish them sweet dreams. Sometimes clarity occurs during on a beautiful autumn day. Sometimes, clarity comes amidst a hurricane as Hurricane Matthew batters the Florida Coast, and the south eastern U.S. coast. Sometimes clarity comes at the death of a loved one. Sometimes, clarity comes at one's impending death.

            In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, Moshe is now experiences for the last time a tremendous moment of clarity. However of all the moments of clarity including: the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however the process of closure is always positive. Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. If a person engages in Tshuvah, a repentant return to God, and Vidui, confession even if the moment before death it is tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In a moment of clarity, certainly such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment.

            On this Shabbat Shuvah, this Shabbat of Return, let us be reminded and strengthened to accept moments of clarity. Let us be wise enough to deal with such moments of clarity in the most holy of endeavors. Let us be pro-active enough to take advantage of moments of clarity by moving towards our loved ones. Let us be spiritually aware enough and realize the absolute importance of moving towards God. Let us not wait until we become aware of an impending loss. Instead, during the Aseret Yamei T’shuva, we should be spiritually clear enough to see every moment as an opportunity to return to that which is holy.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Too Lazy to Crow the Day (Willie Dixon - Little Red Rooster)

Among the numerous preparations for Rosh HaShanah and the Shabbat Shuvah that immediately follows Rosh HaShanah has been the preparation of food. There is lots of food. This of course only means two inevitabilities. There will be a lot of eating and there will be a lot of weight gained. My kids will poke fun, my wife will give me a look if and when I put another helping of whatever into my mouth. Sure I will exercise next week. However over the three day Holiday and Shabbat, while I may have become more spiritually fit, and more spiritually tight and fat free; the same cannot be said of physical realm. After three days of praying, and eating, socializing and sleeping, I have become physically soft and yes my kids would say fat.

This week's Parsha is Haazinu. This is the song that God had commanded Moshe to write at the end of the previous Parsha, Va'Yeileich. This song recounts the trials and tribulations that B'nai Yisroel experienced from the moment they left Egypt until the day of Moshe's death. The song mentions God's giving B'nai Yisroel Torah due to the merits of its ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The song recounts B'nai Yisroel's neglect in maintaining its covenantal obligations. The song recounts God's anger, and B'nai Yisroel's T'shuvah- return to God. The song also instructs B'nai Yisroel to learn from their parents and ancestors and then to pass these lessons down to the next generation. In singing of the cyclical nature of B'nai Yisroel's relationship to God, Moshe sings: Va'Yishman Y'shurun Ba'Yivat Shmantah Avitah Kasitah Va'Yitosh Elohah Asahu Va'Nabel Tsur Y'Shu'ato-Jeshrun became fat and kicked. You became fat, you became thick, you became corpulent- and it deserted God its Maker, and was contemptuous of the Rock of its salvation (Deut.32:15). Yeshurun is a reference to B'nai Yisroel. Yeshurun means the "upright". Moshe is alluding to B'nai Yiroel's uprightness defined by fulfilling its covenantal obligations. For an individual to remain upright, nothing can be weighing him/her down. So when the upright get fat, an allusion to comfort, the upright lean over. Moshe explains that when B'nai Yisroel became self-satisfied, comfortable, and fat, they drifted from their covenantal obligations. Comfort and contentment can lead to softness or fatness.

During this time of year, and especially on this Shabbat, the Shabbat after Rosh Hashannah, the Shabbat known as Shabbat Shuvah (Shabbat of Return), these verses ring true. We must always fight against becoming spiritually content, perhaps even fat. We need to guard against becoming spiritually soft and maybe we even spiritually apathetic. Yet it is precisely the point that we recognize that fact. As we are in the Aseret Yamei Tshuva, the Ten days of Repentance, and we seek forgiveness from our fellow man, we recognize that we can no longer rest on our spiritual laurels, we cannot assume that we are forgiven simply because we are who we are. We must trim the fat, we should be a little uncomfortable, we should be a little unsure. We should have something to prove to our family, our friends, God and ourselves. We should want to be to stand spiritually upright. We should want to seek forgiveness and we should desire to improve ourselves, for our sake, our children's sake and our community's sake. On this Shabbat, Shabbat let us have the strength to cut away the fat. Let us have strength enough not to succumb to comforts so that our perspectives and values are lost. Let us return to being "stand up" people and behaving like a mentsche for our sake and the sake of our children

Peace,

Rav Yitz