Lord, Try To Read Between The Lines; I Had A Feeling I Was Falling, Falling, Falling Lord, I turned Round To See (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia -"Bertha")

           It has been quite an emotional week. This week is my grandfather’s 6th yahrzeit. Six years later, there is rarely a day that I don’t think about him. Three years ago, this week was our son’s bar mitzvah which we celebrated in Israel. Also, three years ago, on the day our son read Torah at the Kotel, Nazis marched in Charlottesville, Virginia. This week, my Rebbe passed away after a long illness. Unable to travel to the States, I had to watch as the service was streamed. Our family attended a Zoom memorial service for a great uncle, my late grandfather’s brother in law (his children and I were very close). We also celebrated with our friends who celebrated their son’s wedding in Israel. We also celebrated our son’s 16th birthday this week. Amid the emotional whipsaw of these moments of joy and sorrow, I have cherished quiet moments of watching the ball game with my son, or a movie with my daughters.

          This week's Parsha is Re'eh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. "See I present before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26). V'haklalah Im Lo Tishm'u el Mitzvot Adonai Eloheichem V'sartem Min Ha'Derech Asher Anochi M'taveh Etchem Ha'yom La'lechet Acharei Elohim Acheirim Asher Lo Y'Datem-"And the curse: if you do not hearken to the commandments of the Lord your God, and you stray from the path that I command you today, to follow gods of others, that you did know." (Deut. 11:28) Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to it covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds B'nai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns B'nai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds B'nai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoiding non-kosher foods, not living in wayward cities, forgiving loans after seven years, caring for the less fortunate, and celebrating the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

          The Torah tells us: Ki Im El HaMakom Asher Yivchar Adoshem Eloheichem miKol Shivteichem LaSum et Shmo Sham L’Shichno Tidreshu Uvata SHama – Rather, only at the place that Hashem, your God, will choose from among all your tribes to place His Name shall you seek out his Presence, his dwelling, and come there. Certainly, this is reminiscent of the Kadosh Baruch Hu, at the time of the Akeida, telling Avraham that he will show him where to go with his son Yitzchak. Its reminiscent of Avraham as much younger man, leaving his home and going to a place that God would show him., Certainly we could understand Moshe’s words as a  reminder for B’nai Yisroel that “sanctity”. Holiness, Kedusha is central to  Israel, Torah, and Jewish identity. The Sfas Emet (The Gerrer Rebbe from about 1870-1905) reminds us that HaShem’s choice is not revealed until B’nai Yisroel “seeks”.  We only find answers when we seek, when we look, when we investigate. Because we are commanded to seek Shechino, his divine aspects that dwell among us, we are tasked to seek holiness. Holiness is in Time and Space. Holiness is in our  Neshama, Holiness is in our choices, and in our words, our deeds and the way we live our lives. That is the constant choice we are commanded to make HaYom Today –  a choice that we make each and every day and each and every moment.  

          Indeed, the week has been full of all kinds of emotional swings. Yet it dawned on me that precisely during those moments of joy, sorrow, anguish, and gratitude; “seeking” God is most possible. When we are spiritually sedentary, when we are spiritually lazy, we probably lack the spiritual insight of “sight”  of being able to sense or see God. Yet, when we experience the full range of human experience and emotion, we begin to ask questions. Some ask “why”, although I rarely suggest we ask that question. Rather we ought to ask “How”. How do I make this moment, this moment of anguish, or joy, meaningful? How do I make this moment of sorrow or joy holy? When we ask those questions, and we adapt rituals that express meaning in those moments, we embody the words of the Sfat Emet and seek God. In doing so, we make the week full of anguish, and joy, meaningful and sacred.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Handing Out Free Tickets to the Wedding of His Son (Bob Dylan - Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again)

Without giving away too many trade secrets, there are certain themes that Rabbi’s speak about depending upon the life cycle event. When I attend various life cycle events and I am a guest and not an officiant, I normally would turn to my wife or my children and whisper to them what text, verse, or Talmudic expression the officiant will use in his talk. Weddings usually involve discussing the idea of Beshert (Fate) and how God, as part of his creating and re-creating, has already pre-determined and matched up all the Jewish souls in the world. Another theme is the idea that a wife is like Chava, the first Wife. Like Chava, she will be an Ezer K’Negdo – a compliment and supplement to Adam’s soul. However, if the marriage isn’t based on a respectful relationship then there will be more K’Negdo (against him) than Ezer (help). There are several other texts which I imagine make up nearly every wedding talk I have ever heard. Imagine my surprise when the Rabbi, during a wedding I attended, spoke about life and death? This Rabbi cited the famous verse from Sefer Kohelet (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2): “Everything has its season, and there is a time for everything under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die.” When I leaned over to my wife and made a snide comment about how this marriage must be doomed since it is being compared to a "time to die." My wife looked at me and leaned over and commented that I really don’t know everything and that maybe I could learn something.

Well this week’s Parshah, Chayei Sarah. If you think about it, the narrative within the Parsha and the Parsha’s title, embody those Kohelet’s words: “Everything has its season, and there is a time for everything under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. Everything does have its season. In Chayei Sarah, life and death appear almost simultaneously. We read of Sarah’s death in terms of life: “Sarah’s lifetime was…” (Gen23:1). Then Avraham prepares for his wife’s burial. Next Avraham concentrates his focus upon the perpetuation of life. He sends his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for his son. He sends his servant, Eliezer, to find a matriarch that can fill the void left by Sarah’s death. Rivkah embodied this notion of life and legacy. These qualities are inherent to her character, as is evident in her name as well as in two subtle but strong actions. First, Rivkah offered water, a symbol of both life and Torah, to Eliezer. Then she offered water to Eliezer’s camels thereby demonstrating her menschlekite. Rivkah also possessed the ability to sustain life. She sustained Eliezer’s life by allowing him to accomplish his mission and return to Avraham with a wife for Yitzchak. She sustained her own life by having the wherewithal and the strength to leave her family, a family which our sages suggest were cutthroats and cheats (Genesis Rabbah 63:4), and join a family that made a covenant with God.

After Eliezer receives water from this girl, we are told her name, Rivkah. Her name is indicative of her character. Her name also suggests an inherent ability to join seemingly disparate events or ideas such as life and death and make meaning from it. The Hebrew root of her name (RVK) means “join”, or “yoked together”, e.g. two oxen are joined together to pull a plow. The team must be of equal strength or the plow won’t go straight. Therefore Rivkah must be equally as strong as and independent as Yitzchak. Rivkah must be strong enough to take the memory and legacy of Sarah and make it her own. This requires a very strong sense of self.

Rivkah fills the spiritual vacuum created by Sarah’s death. Rivka will also become Avrahan in the sense that just like God shared with Avraham the prophecy; God will share the prophecy of Rivkah’s two sons with Rivkah (Parsha Toldot). Like Avraham, Rivka is the bridge between ,this family’s current state of affairs and future spiritual holiness. “And Yitzchak brought her into the tent of his mother; he married Rivkah, she became his wife, and he loved her; and thus was Yitzchak consoled after his mother.” (Gen 24:67) The Rabbis explain that while Sarah lived a cloud of glory hung over her tent, her tent was known for hospitality, and a lamp remained alit from Shabbat to Shabbat. When Sarah died all these qualities died with her. However, when Rivkah was brought into the tent of his mother, all these qualities returned (Genesis Rabbah 60:16). Besides perpetuating life, she perpetuated the spiritual holiness necessary for joining Yitzchak in God’s covenant.

Rivkah’s strong sense of self is expressed in a second rather subtle but strong action. As was the custom of the day, she veiled herself upon seeing Yitzchak (Gen 24:65). Certainly she covered herself in order to be modest. However covering herself also created a distinction from Yitzchak. She was an equal part of a team, and yet she was still her own person. Only Rivkah was able to join herself to Yitzchak without losing her sense of self. Only Rivkah was able to fill the powerful memory of Sarah and still prevent herself from being overwhelmed by such a memory. Only Rivkah was able to join the generation of Avraham and Sarah with the next generation. Fittingly, the Parshah ends as it began, with death. However now we read of Avraham’s death.

Rivkah’s character offers us a model in our struggle to bridge the previous generations to the future generations. Rivkah’s character offers us a model in our struggle to join with our partners in equal respectful relationships without submerging our own identity. Rivkah’s character offers us a model as in our struggle to incorporate memory without being swallowed up by it. Finally Rivkah offers us a model of menschlekite and consideration. Her small acts of kindness are all the difference between a warm and caring community and a cold uncaring community. Everything does have a season and there is a time for everything under heaven. This is the time we can learn from Rivkah. It is always the season to emulate such qualities.

Peace,

Rav Yitz