Wonder Who Will Water All The Children Of The Garden (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia & Phil Lesh - "St. Stephen")

Summer camp started this week. Any anxiety, any worries quickly disappeared when they arrived, saw their friends and there counselors and left. There were brief goodbyes, but mostly they walked off or ran off, carefree and happy. As a parent, it is a picture that is bittersweet.  I hate saying goodbye, but I catch myself smiling wistfully, taking comfort that they are carefree, happy, and safe.  Yet as parents said their goodbyes and watched their children happy, carefree, and safe, many of us couldn’t help but think of the news that quickly made its way around the Jewish world at the same time. The three Israeli teenage boys who had been studying in a Yeshiva in the West Bank, who decided to hitchhike home and were reported kidnapped a little over two weeks ago; were found dead and buried outside of Hebron.  Three teenage boys who studied sacred texts, three teenage boys who were probably as carefree and happy in their lives in Yeshiva as our kids are in camp, were brutally murdered and left in shallow graves. The news has left Jews in Israel and around the world reeling. The news has left parents desirous of holding their kids a little tighter, hugging them just a little longer, and reminding them a little more often that they cannot afford to be too carefree, too innocent and too unaware.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Balak. B’nai Yisroel has arrived on the eastern shore of the Jordan River and are waiting to enter into the Eretz Canaan. Balak, the king of Moav and the tribe of Midian have heard of B’nai Yisroel's recent victories against the Edomites and the Amalekites, and they are scared. Realizing that warfare doesn’t work against B’nai Yisroel, Balak decides to invoke the spiritual world and figures that a curse would have a better result. So Balak hires Bilaam to curse B’nai Yisroel. On three separate occasions, Bilaam tries to curse B’nai Yisroel as he had been hired to do. However with each attempt to curse comes a blessing. Well needless to say, Balak is infuriated as he realizes that no prophet, no soothsayer is capable of cursing Israel. Rather, the only way to defeat Israel is to lure them away from their values, their behavior, and their study of Torah.

While ChaZaL, (the Talmudic Sages) have very few kind words for Bilaam,  the final blessing that Bilaam makes is undeniably the most beautiful blessing. The blessing is so powerful, and evokes the ideals of B'nai Yisroel’s sense of community and its covenant with Hashem that its first line is part the morning service, and this first line of the blessing is among the first words a Jewish child learns when learning the prayer liturgy. Ma Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov Mishkenotecha Yisroel.   How goodly are your tents O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel KinChalim NitYu K'GaNot Alei Nahar Ka’AHaLim Natah Hashem Ka’ARaZim Alei Mayim -  stretching out like brooks, like gardens by a river, like aloes planted by Hashem, like cedars by water. Yizal Mayim MiDalYav V’Zaro BMayim Rabim – Water shall flow from his wells, and his see shall be by abundant waters… (Num. 24: 5-7). Clearly, Bilaam sees a very picturesque and peaceful community with tents and tribal camps arranged in such a way as to ensure modesty and sensitivity to privacy (Rashi). However the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b explains that the terms Ohalecha (your tents) and Mishkenotecha (your dwelling places) refers to B'nai Yisroel’s two spiritual homes. Tents refers to the Beit Midrash – the houses of study and dwelling places refers to the family home, where the Shechina the aspect of Hashem that dwells between a husband and wife in their home. It also alludes to the synagogue, the houses of prayer.  Bilaam’s frequent allusion to water, rivers, and brooks is symbolic of a life source.  For Bilaam, at that moment, in his blessing of B’nai Yisroel, he saw them as a source of life and a source of peace that just need to be left alone to grow and spread its message of life.

Bilaam’s blessing remains relevant even during this tragic time.  Yes three innocent lives were taken by individuals and a movement that believes in the sanctity of death.  Yet Hashem, Torah, and Judaism are all about life, about the behavior in the now, about doing everything to promote life. This is embodied in Torah Study – the Ohalecha, and the in Houses of Prayer (Mishkenotecha).  We study in order to better understand how to fulfill God’s commandments. We pray in order to strengthen our connection to Hashem. We don’t study Torah and Talmud in order to figure out how to kidnap and murder; and we don’t enter our houses of prayer in order to curse those who wish to harm the Jewish people. Rather we pray that our children can remain safe, carefree and learning Torah.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Who Will Water All The Children Of The Garden (Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh, & Jerry Garcia - "St. Stephen")

On Erev Shabbat, (Friday Nights) when families gather to mark the arrival of Shabbat, several blessings are made. Among the blessing that occur in many traditional Jewish homes is a blessing for the children.  As a child, I remember dutifully walking towards my father and receiving the blessing for a son, then my sister dutifully walking over towards my father and receiving the blessing for a daughter, and then he would put his arms around us and recite the priestly benediction. When I became a father, I also blessed each of my children.  I remember that when my wife and I were blessed with our children, there was never a discussion about this ritual. There was never a discussion as to who would do it and how it would be done.  In our home each child comes to me and I quietly bless each one individually, almost whispering the words. It is one of those private moments that everyone else who happens to be at the Shabbat dinner table can see. Yet for me, I am invoking a blessing that is as ancient as the Torah but remains relevant to this very day.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Naso. The Parsha’s 176 psukim make it among the longest single parshiot in the entire Torah.  Its length is also reflected in the wide variety of topics covered including:  the census for the tribe of Levi, the Priestly tribe, the responsibilities for the maintenance and operation of the Mishkan, the purification of the camp,  the treatment of the wayward wife (the Sotah), the vow of the Nazir ( a vow that limits the behavior of the individual as a means of elevating oneself to a higher level of holiness for only a limited time),  the identical tribal offerings made by each leader in order on twelve successive days that celebrated the fact that the Mishkan was “open for business”. Inserted in these seemingly disparate rules and narratives is the priestly benediction. A quick glance at the different components of Parsha Naso suggests that each is connected to each other because of the idea of Naso – “lift up”. Indeed each component discussed issues of how we can raise ourselves up in holiness, either through our own actions or the actions of the other.

The Priestly benediction is an example of a third party elevating us, or at least offering a supplication to God on our behalf that we indeed are worthy of blessing.  From that perspective, I can’t imagine a more powerful ritual for parents to do with their children. Yevarechecha Adoshem VaYishmarecha, May Hashem bless you and keep you. Ya' eir Adoshem Panav Eilecha VaYichuneka, May Hashem make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you Yisa Adoshem Panav Eilecha VaYaSem Lecha Shalom May Hashem lift his countenance upon you and give you peace.( Num 6:24-26)  I have been saying this blessing for 23 years. I have received this blessing every Friday night from the time I was 5 until I left for college at 18. When I came home to visit my father would still give me this blessing. What does it mean that God should “keep" our children or “guard” our children? Naturally as parents invoking Hashem to protect our children seems like a great idea given all the tsuris in the world. Yet Rashi, the great 11^th century French commentator explains that this first blessing is not Hashem protecting our children. Rather the “blessing” should be the blessing enumerated in the Torah, that our children should be materially well off and Hashem should “protect” our children and their material blessings from those who might take such blessing. The second blessing which speaks of “shining Hashem’s face upon” our child is our desire for our children to become enlightened by Torah and a meaningful relationship with Hashem. The “gracious” is the subliminal understanding that all we can ask for is that our children have an intellectual and spiritual ability to learn Torah and connect to Hashem; we hope Hashem was gracious in giving our children plenty of ability in order to receive such “light”.  The third blessing is perhaps the most relevant for parents and children. Rashi explains that “lifting His countenance to you” means that Hashem should suppress His anger. Even though our children may do something wrong, Hashem should show special consideration and not punish. Rather present the opportunity for Tshuvah so that our children can once again become Shaleim – whole as well as know Shalom – peace of spirit.

Even now, when we are together and he sees me blessing his grandchildren (my children) he still has the inclination to bless me.  You know something? He is right. The priestly benediction doesn’t grow old. It applies to children of all ages. It especially applies to middle age children raising a family and dealing with all the modern trials and tribulations that can truly diminish their sense of Shaleim, their sense of Shalom, and their striving towards a life of Kedusha.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

A Young Man's Dream of Growing Up (Merle Haggard - "Mama Tried")

A few days ago, when there was a lull in the evening, the homework was done, the showers were taken, the teeth were brushed, the pajamas were on, and the piano had been practiced, my seven year old son and I were about to read together. I asked him how school was and he started to get upset when he described his day. He didn’t tell me anything about school per se, but rather focused upon the social life of recess and the laws of the playground. “Abba, they teased me because I am short”. I asked him if that upset him, even though I could see it on his face. He said he wanted to cry but didn’t. He asked how much longer will he be short. He mentioned that he didn’t want to be out there with his other friends for recess anymore. “Abba, they were so mean, I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow.” I smiled and hugged him. I remember this conversation. This conversation occurred numerous times when I was a child. “You're going to school otherwise you will feel even shorter.”

This week we read from Parsha VaYeishev. The focus of the narrative shifts from Yaakov to the adventures or rather the misadventures of Yaakov’s beloved son Yosef. We are all familiar with Yosef. Evidence of Yaakov’s love and favoritism is manifest in the second pasuk (verse) of the Parsha: Eileh Toldot Yaakov, Yosef Ben Shva Esrei Shanah Hayah Roeh et Echav B’Tzon. These are the generations of Yaakov – Yosef was 17 years old and was a shepherd with his brothers (Gen 37:2) Even before we meet the brothers in the narrative from Yaakov’s only concern was Yosef. Normally when we have read the phrase Eileh Toldot – These are the generations, we read about the generations of the ancestor, whether it was Adam, Noach or Esav we read about all the offspring and generations leading to the next main character. While the Torah tells us that Yaakov favored Yosef, it doesn’t become explicitly evident until we read that Yosef tells his father about his brother’s bad behavior and is rewarded with the Coat of Many Colors.

The Torah tells us that the brothers hated him and that Yosef was acutely aware of this. V’Lo Yachlu Dabro L’Shalom – They (the brothers) could not speak peaceably towards him. Rashi explains that they expressed their hatred right to Yosef’s face. They didn’t try to conceal at all but let him know in no uncertain terms how they felt about him. Knowing how his brother’s felt about him, Yosef shares not one dream but two dreams. Not only does he tell them e that someday in the future they will bow down to him, but he reminds them again. First he tells them through the illusion of the corn sheaves bowing towards his corn sheave. Next he shares the dream of the heavenly constellations bowing to him as well: eleven stars, the sun and the moon all bowed down to him. Not only does he share this with brothers who hate him and obviously hate him even more, but he shared this with his father. The brothers’ response is obvious. VaYeKanu Vo Echav – So his brothers were jealous of him.

Yaakov’s response is far more mysterious and perhaps troubling. V’Aviv Shamar et HaDavar- But his father kept the matter in mind. “Keeping the matter in mind” could mean several very different things. Rashi explains that Yaakov waited to see when Yosef’s dream would come to fruition and so he guarded it faithfully. For Yaakov, Yosef’s dream was inevitability, a Navuah – a prophecy like the one his mother received while pregnant with him and his brother Esav. Rashi’s comment never suggests that Yaakov was upset at Yosef for sharing the dream with him or the eleven brothers. R’ Ovadia Sforno – the great 16^th century Italian Rabbi, speaking five centuries after Rashi interprets Yaakov’s actions in an even stronger tone that Rashi: He was convinced that it was a true dream and he looked forward to its realization as our sages tell us ‘ One is jealous of all except his son and his student’ (Sanhedrin 105b).

While most, if not all the classical Meforshim (commentators) interpret Yaakov’s response in a similar vein: that Yaakov faithfully waited to see and perhaps even hoped for the day when Yosef’s dream would become reality; that interpretation doesn’t make sense when we evaluate Yaakov’s actions in the psukim immediately following “his keeping the matter in mind”. We are told that the brothers have the herd in Shechem and VaYomeir Yisroel el Yosef Halo Achecha Ro’im BiShchem L’Cha V’Eshlacha Aleihem – And Israel (Yaakov) said to Joseph, ‘Your brothers are pasturing in Shechem, are they not? Come, I will send you to them… Lech Nah R’eh et Shalom Achecha v’Et Shalom HaTzon, V’Hashiveinu Davar – Go now, look into the welfare of your brothers and the welfare of the flock and bring me back word” (Gen. 13-15). Didn’t Yaakov know how his 11 sons felt about Yosef? If so, how could he have knowingly sent him to see them and, even worse, for the express purpose of reporting back to Yaakov? Does Yaakov want to put Yosef into a very bad situation where he could be hurt? We say that Yaakov was not very aware how his 11 sons felt towards Yosef, and then we have a real problem with Yaakov as a parent. Even so, Yosef knew how the brothers felt towards him.

A more modern interpretation, and perhaps a more personal interpretation suggests that while Yaakov favored Yosef to a fault and Yaakov held the matter of the dreams close to himself in the hopes that someday Yosef’s dream would become a reality, Israel is a different type of aspect within Yaakov. The Israel aspect of Yaakov understood what Yaakov did not. Yosef also understood what Yaakov failed to understand. Yes, the brothers hated Yosef. Yes Yosef’s dream was unpleasant for the brothers to hear and certainly let to increased jealousy and animosity. Like Israel was so named because he wrestled with and was victorious in overcoming his conflict with Esav, Yosef needs have the confrontation with his brothers. So when Israel calls to Yosef and tells him that he has to go to the brothers, Yosef responds Hinneni –“ Here I am” meaning that he is present and ready for duty with no questions and no hesitation. Yosef’s father kept the matter in mind because he understood that just like he had to deal with his brother, better that Yosef should deal with his brothers, and all the teasing and all the anger sooner rather than allowing two decades to pass before you deal with it. In a sense Yaakov kept the original matter in mind to be used when Yosef had the opportunity to grow up a little and develop a better sense of humility.

I told my son that they used to tease me because I was so short. I told him that I felt crummy. I told him that I remember distinctly coming home one Sunday afternoon after playing football with the guys. They kept teasing me and I became angry. I remember weeping to my father telling him how I hated being the shortest kid out there. He asked me one question, and I asked my son. “Do you feel short? I remember answering “no”, and happily my son answered “no” as well. I then gave my son the same advice as he gave me. Then you march yourself back there and play big, you outwork, outhustle and outthink the other guy, and if they tease you just do your best. You can’t control when you grow taller, but you will. So become better than those kids who tease you. Sometimes Shaleim – becoming complete means getting right back in there to taking your lumps and confronting whatever needs to be confronted. Only then can one achieve Shalom – peace.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I Was Learning To See (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - Help on the Way)

Growing up, my Rabbi used to explain the difference between entering a Church and entering a Shul (a Synagogue). The type of church does not matter; neither does the Shul. The differences are quite clear. Forgetting, for a moment, issues of theology, religious symbols, and the prayer service, my Rabbi explained there was an even more significant difference. A visitor or a newcomer enters a Church and sits down in a pew. Not knowing if someone usually sits there or not, he will be greeted with “Welcome, to our Church, brother/sister…The Lord loves you!” A visitor or a new comer enters a Shul and sits down in a seat. Not knowing if someone usually sits there or not, he will be greeted with “Excuse me, but you are in my seat. Get out!” On one hand this is a cute story, on the other hand such behavior is troubling. Failing to welcome guests does not embody the Jewish mitzvah and value of Hachnasat Orchim (welcoming guests-hospitality). We all know that Hachnasat Orchim (hospitality) is a Jewish value. However it is not only a Jewish value, Hachnasat Orchim is one of the essential values of a Jewish life. We learn from the Talmud in Tractate Shabbat: “To extend hospitality is loftier than to greet the Divine Presence!” At the Pesach Seder, we open the door for those who are unable to afford a Seder of their own. We also teach our children to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

This week’s Parshah, Vayera, is the Torah’s reminder of this essential value and Mitzvah. Avraham Avinu just circumcised himself at the ripe old age of 99. Needless to say he needed some time to recuperate. We read: “V’hu Yoshev Petach Ha’Ohel K’Chom HaYom. - He sat in the tent door in the heat of the day” (18:1). Rashi, the medieval northern French commentator, explains why a 99 year old man would be sitting at the opening of his tent (petach ha’ohel) while still recovering from surgery. Lirot Im Yesh Oveir v’Shav v’Yachnisem b’Veito- Avraham sat in his tent’s opening to see if there were passersby, whom he could take into his home. Other medieval commentators make it abundantly clear that Avraham was as hospitable as possible. For fear that Avraham could be criticized for not inviting his three guests to stay and spend the evening; we are told that this visit took place at mid day. The only appropriate display of hospitality during the middle of the day was to wash the dust of his guests and prepare a feast. So Avraham did.

Avraham performs the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim in the most humble manner. Even before he actually engages in the mitzvah the Parsha begins VaYeira Eilav Hashem – Hashem appeared to him (Gen. 18:1). Vayisa Einav Vayar – And his raised his eyes and he saw….V’Hinei Shlosha Anashim Nitzavim Alav Vayar – and Behold three men were standing over him and he perceived… (Gen 18:2)In order for God or these messengers to appear to Avraham, Avraham must be open to the possibility; he must be aware, he must be looking outside himself and his own needs and instead focus upon the world around him. Otherwise Avraham would only be thinking about Avraham, and his own discomfort. The first several verses demonstrate Avraham’s selflessness and his looking out beyond himself and his needs. Avraham’s name is not mentioned until the 6^th verse of the Parshah (Gen18:6). The first five verses only refer Avraham in a pronoun form. What do we learn from Avraham’s fulfillment of this mitzvah in a nameless fashion? We learn that the highest level of hospitality requires us to forsake our own ego. Extending hospitality is not for selfish needs or wants. Hospitality is a selfless deed not a selfish one. Ironically, engaging in this selfless act leads to our enrichment. We are better off having done it. Hachnasat Orchim allows us to express our humanity, and the sense of concern toward, the other, the guest, or the newcomer. Hachanasat Orchim, in a sense, is the foundation for a warm caring community.

We all need to be looking out beyond ourselves and our families. In order to create a warmer community, we look out for others. We invite family and friends to partake of a Shabbat meal. We open our homes to the Shabbat Bride and Shabbat guests. We open our home to God and to Judaism. By welcoming people into our home, we are surrounding ourselves with another aspect of God, the aspect that resides within the soul of our guests and ourselves.