Am I The Driver Or The Driven (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Our household experienced another “rite of passage” that will contribute to my graying hair. Our 17-year-old daughter took her the road test for her in order to get her driver’s license. In Canadian speak, she took her driving test for her G2 license. Over the past several months, she was one of those kids in a driving instructor’s car that we see all over Toronto. If anyone was ever stuck behind her, waiting for her to turn left at a traffic light, or waiting for her to merge, please forgive us. When she wasn’t taking her driving lessons, she was constantly asking me to drive, to practice various maneuvers including three-point turns, parallel parking and backing into a parking spot. Over the past several weeks, the frequency of her desire to practice has grown. Over the past several weeks, we have practiced parallel parking, backing up into a parking spot, and driving all around Thornhill. As I spent time with her and discussed how to respond in various situations; she began to appreciate the importance of being a responsible driver safe driver.  

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Bechukotai. It is the final Parsha of the Book of Leviticus. For the past ten Parshiot, Sefer Vayikra, the Book of Leviticus has taught us how to act in a holy manner. We learned how to behave towards God in a holy manner. We have been taught how to treat a member of our family in a holy manner. We have been taught how to treat people outside of our family, friends, acquaintances, employees, and the needy in a holy manner as well. We have been given tools by which we are able to approach God in a sanctified way. We have been given tools to sanctify the seasons, as well as the land of Israel. Finally, here in the last Parsha, we are told the reward as well as the punishment if we fail to learn and observe these commandments. The reward is quite simple and straightforward.  Im B’Chukotai Teileichu v’Et Mitzvotai Tishmeru Va’Asitem Otam V’Natati Gishmeichem B’Itam V’Natna Ha’Aretz Y’Vulah V’Eitz Ha’Sadeh Yiten Piryo – If you follow my decrees and observe my commandments and perform them; then I will provide you with rains in their time, and the land will give its produce and the tree of the field will give its fruit. (Lev. 26:3-4). Ultimately our reward is predicated upon fulfilling the commandments.

The punishment is neither simple nor straightforward. Normally one would think that merely our failure to observe and fulfill the commandment would be reason enough for punishment. However, this is not the case. Our punishment is a result of something worse than our failure to observe and fulfill these commandments.  V’Im Lo Tishme’u Li, V’Lo Ta’asu Eit Kol HaMitzvot Ha’Eila – If you will not listen to me (obey) and will not perform all of these commandments; V’Im B’Chukotai Timasu V’Im Et Mishpatai Tigal Nafshechem – if you consider my Decrees loathsome, and if your being rejects My ordinances (Lev. 26: 14-15) then we receive punishment. There are a series of seven sets of punishments and after each set; we are given an opportunity for Tshuvah, for Repentance. If after each set of punishments we continue to ignore God, then we receive another set of punishments. The Torah keeps repeating a phrase which is far more powerful than “ignoring” God. V’Halachtem Imi B’Keri and if you behave towards Me cavalierly, then the next set of punishments are warranted. It could be argued that our divine punishment is a result of our lack of passion, our lack of care and concern for our role and responsibility in our relationship to God.

Torah is teaching us a valuable lesson about life. Life is sacred. The relationships that we make can and should be sacred, not only with our husbands and wives and our children but with God as well. Self-improvement and trying to get the most out of our abilities is directly proportional to how casual and cavalier we are. Success, as Malcolm Gladwell writes in his book Outliers, depends upon putting in tremendous amounts of time, effort and energy to doing something better than the previous time. For our covenant with God, we need to put in the effort and energy to study and learn. For my daughter, she understands that even though she passed her G2, she understands that she still needs to put in the work, obtain experience, and do so responsibly in order for us to be comfortable with her driving and also for her to be comfortable with herself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Steal Your Face Right Off Your Head (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "He's Gone"

          My wife and I are very different. She gets very emotional about every milestone our children reach. Normally with the arrival at a milestone, my wife will think that our child in question has grown older which of course means that she has grown older. I don’t necessarily see our children’s’ milestones as a reflection of my aging. I’m older and I feel that way. No, I can’t believe that we at the milestone, I can’t believe that the child in question is really old enough to achieve this milestone, and I wonder if reaching the milestone will give them a sense of maturity and becoming a person. Three of our four children reached milestones this week. Our 12^th grader had to make a decision about college/university. So she will spend a year in Israel and with the intention of going university in the U.S. Our 10^th grader just turned 16 and she will be taking her G1 test (permit test in America) before the end of the May. Since we had already sent a daughter to college and we have had two daughters turn 16; I wasn’t too emotional about either milestone. However, I was happy for both daughters who reached their respective milestone. However, it was the milestone of our son, our youngest child, which I found most meaningful. Since the second night of Pesach, as is the custom associated with Sefirat Ha’Omer (The Counting of the Omer); I haven’t shaved until this week which was the 33 day of the Omer (L’AG B’Omer). So I prepared to shave. However for 13 years 8 months and 23 days, our son has never shaved. So on L’AG B’Omer, he and I bonded in a way that he could never bond with his mother. I gave him his first shaving lesson. He shaved his upper lip. I shaved my face.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Emor. In the four chapters that comprise Emor, the first deals with the Kohanim and their very different way of striving for holiness as compared to the rest of the nation. For example, because of the Kohen’s function within society, he must remain in a perpetual state of purity. He is restricted in terms of who he can marry. He is restricted in terms of for whom he mourns. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second chapter reminds B’nai Yisroel that all animal offerings must be blemish free. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev.22:25). Both chapters deal with the holiness of certain people, the Kohen and his family, and certain animals, those designated for sacrificial offering. The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the designation of holiness in regards to seasons and the calendar including Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The fourth chapter offers a narrative in which the son of an Israelite woman and Egyptian man, and another Israelite man get into a fight. The son pronounced the forbidden name of God and was charged with blasphemy. The Torah tells us the punishment for blasphemy is death. This is the same punishment for an individual who commits murder. 

As the Torah upon Holiness and perhaps even Perfection, we learn that striving for Holiness and striving for Perfection requires creating a distinct separation from the mundane, the ordinary, and the less than perfect. The Torah reminds the Kohen, “Lo Yikrechu Korcha B’Rosham U’Fa’at Z’Kanam Lo Y’Galeichu UVivsaram Lo Yisr’tu Saratet- They shall not make a bald spot on their heads, and they shall not shave an edge of their beard; and in their flesh, they shall not cut a gash (Lev21:5). Rashi, the great 11th-century French commentator, explains that certain tribes that lived in Biblical Canaan, as well as Ancient Egyptians, would engage in these types of behaviors while mourning the death of a loved one. Literally, the Torah reminds the Priestly class to be sure and NOT behave like other people, don’t mourn like other people, don’t worship like other people, don’t behave like these ancient tribes of idolaters. The Chatam Sofer, one of the great 19^th century Central European Rabbis, explained that the verse has a homiletical meaning as well. The Torah reminds us not to create a bald spot upon our head, we don’t create an emptiness on our head. The Chatam Sofer understands the emptiness as ignorance, a lack of learning. The head should be filled with Torah, with mitzvoth, with doing good things in the world, and making sound, thoughtful, and intelligent choices. Sometimes that requires the person to be just a bit separate, distinct and apart from those who create an emptiness in their own respective heads. We strive to fill our heads knowledge, with Torah. We avoid creating “empty spaces”, bald spot, in our heads, knowing that what our heads are filled with or not, will be expressed in our behavior, our attitudes our relationship with our loved ones and with God.

So there we stood in front of the mirror. As I looked into the mirror, for a brief moment through the steam of the hot water, and as the mirror began to fog over I saw my father standing with me all those years ago showing me to shave. I saw my grandfather telling me to grow a mustache like he has in order to avoid shaving. My son wiped the mirror clear in order to see and the images of my father much younger than I am now and the images of my grandfather healthy, vibrant, smiling at me was wiped away. As my son and I stood there, I thought about what I had learned from these two men and wondered I would transmit all that I learned from them to my son. One thing is for sure, I won’t wait until our son has to shave his upper lip for the next time to offer them the wisdom of his grandfather and great-grandfather.

Peace,

              Rav Yitz

There Are Times When You Can Beckon, There Are Times When You Must Call (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Built To Last"))

Well, our 17 year old daughter passed her driver’s test. Certainly, I am proud of her accomplishment, but I feel compelled to inform everyone that they should just be wary when they take to the roads. Besides driving lessons, I thought it was important for her to learn a few things that the driving instructor would not teach her. Living in Toronto, I thought it was important for her to learn how to handle a car going into a skid on ice and snow. So during the winter, I took her to a parking lot where she did “doughnuts” and handled a skid on snow and ice.  I thought it is important that she can change a tire, so when the weather warms up a bit, I will teach her how to change a flat tire. However the most important thing to teach her about general car maintenance is to putting gas in in the car. When I asked her if she knew how put gas in the car she casually replied, “Yes, I tell you to fill it up the car with gas like mommy tells you”. Needless to say, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Like a car, Judaism also has a gas tank, actually Judaism has two gas “tanks”. For Judaism to function, both tanks need to be filled.  For most Jews in the non-orthodox world, the “ethical tank” is the primary tank; but the “ritual” tanks is what needs filling. For most Jews in the Orthodox world, the “ritual tank” is the primary tank; but sometimes it’s the “ethical tank” that needs filling. For many of us, this is an either/or proposition, as if Judaism separated these two tanks. The "ethical" and the "ritual" is not like milk and meat needing separation. To the contrary, for Judaism to work, the "ethical" and the "ritual" need to be integrated. This concept of Judaism is by no means unheard of. In fact, a superficial reading of a Talmudic Midrash from the Tractate Shabbat 31a supports this multi-tank theory. A potential convert asks the great sage Shammai to teach him the entire Torah while standing upon one leg. Shammai abruptly dismisses him. The potential convert then seeks the great sage Hillel and makes the same request. Rather than dismissing him, Hillel responds, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. This is the entire Torah, all of it; the rest is commentary. Go and study it.” (Shabbat 31a). Certainly we could understand this Midrash as a preference of the ethical to the ritual. However, the brevity of Hillel’s statement implies that ethical and ritual are linked.

This week’s Parsha is VaYikrah, the first Parsha of the Book of Leviticus, -Sefer VaYikrah. Unlike the first book of the Torah, Bereishit (Genesis) and the first part of Shmot (Exodus) which was written in a narrative form, and the second Part of Shmot which listed laws as well as the instructions for building the Mishkan (the Tabernacle); the Book of Leviticus focuses upon the Priestly class and their responsibility within Jewish biblical society. VaYikrah does not focus upon a story, nor laws that are geared towards B’nai Yisroel. Rather the laws are aimed at the Leviim, their responsibilities, the precise manner in which sacrificial offerings are made, the requirements for offerings, the requirements for the Leviim as well as the requirements for B’nai Yisroel in order to bring offerings. From Parsha VaYikrah and for that matter the entire book, we derive numerous ethical teachings all of which is necessary for a people and a society to achieve a sense of holiness. We derive the importance that Judaism cannot be just about the “letter of the law” but there must be some ethical value behind the letters. After God “calls” out to Moshe, we read the list and the details concerning Korbonot-sacrifices. Which animals should be sacrificed, how many, for which reason, who is obligated, and how to do it. Again God reminds of the purpose of “sacrifice”. The word Korbon (sacrifice) connotes “approach”. This is based upon the three-lettered Hebrew root KaReiV, which means approach. We make sacrifices as a means of approaching God.

After reading this litany of detailed minutia, we might lose sight of the purpose of sacrifice. Korbon (sacrifice) is not only a means of approaching God; it is a means of approaching our fellow man.  The end of the Parshah reminds us of this. Nefesh Ki Techeteh U’Ma’Alah M’Al B’Adonai V’Chichesh Ba’Amito “God spoke to Moses saying: If a person will sin and commit treachery against God by lying to his comrade….” (Lev.5:21-25). We draw closer to God via our fellow man. Unethical behavior towards our fellow man affects our relationship to God. Unethical behavior renders us impure and adds a blemish to our character and to our spirit. We know that God only accepts blemish free offerings. If we are spiritually impure, because of unethical behavior, how can we hope to approach God? Like the great sage Hillel implied, the Parshah demonstrates that the Ethical and the Ritual are linked. Both aspects form a symbiotic relationship with each other. Together they form Torah. Separation of the Ethical and the Ritual leaves the individual and Torah incomplete. However, struggling and, hopefully, integrating both allows the individual to approach God as well as others through dignity and respect.

For those only concerned with ritual, at the expense of the ethical, they are only driving around on a half a tank of gas. For those only concerned with the ethical at the expense of ritual, they are also driving around on a half a tank of gas. A half a tank of gas is equivalent to observing only half the Torah and behaving only partly Jewish. The object is to be Shalem, complete or whole. God called out to Moshe, and instructed him to teach B’nai Yisroel that Ethical and Ritual behavior must be integrated in order to form a Holy community. Thousands of years later, Parshah Vayikrah teaches the same lesson. We continue in our struggle to integrate the Ethical and the Ritual. Both are required in order to live life with a full tank, for a warm and meaningful relationship to oneself, to our fellow man, and to God. As our daughter takes to the road, hopefully she is prepared enough and aware enough to make sure that when she drives my car, she won’t wait until the gas tank light calls out to her in order to begin looking for a gas station and then wonder how to fill it up. Hopefully she will be a complete safe driver for the sake of my insurance and all those with whom she shares the road.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz