"Cat On A Tin Roof, Dogs In A Pile, Nothing Left To Do But Smile Smile Smile (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - He's Gone)

          As we continue to watch the news out of Ukraine, the increased targeting of Ukrainian civilians, the exponential increase of refugees, our family has been in awe of the stories we hear about strangers helping these refugees. Recently we heard about a young boy who traveled alone from Kyiv to Slovenia. His mother had to remain behind in Kyiv to care for her sick mother. So she sent her son with a backpack, his passport, a cell phone, and a phone number of a family member written on the back of his hand. (New York Post March 7, 2022). Despite being alone and scared, and traveling 600 miles, everyone the boy encountered was greeted by his warm and friendly smile. Upon his arrival at that Ukraine/Slovakian border, the border patrol was also greeted with his warm and kind smile. As a result, the border patrol was all too happy to help him. They found the family members and the boy’s Slovakian family found him and picked him up. Needless to say, his mother was incredibly thankful that her son was now safe. 

          This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Zachor. It is the Shabbat that immediately precedes Purim. On this Shabbat,  we begin the third book of the Torah with the Parsha of the same name:  Vayikra.  B’reishit and Shmot are essentially a series of narratives about a family and ultimately an entire people. However, Sefer VaYikra (Leviticus) is presented in both a narrative format as well as a user manual for ritual sacrifices - KoRBonot. This “user manual” seems to be designed for the Kohanim since it was their job to make the ritual sacrifice on behalf of the B’nai Yisroel. The Parsha begins with the general rules for Korbonot, mainly that the animal in question, needs to be pure, that is to say, blemish-free. The Parsha lists the various categories of Korbonot. The underlying assumption of bringing a KoRBonot (an offering) was B’nai Yisroel’s desire to be near God, to connect with God. Even the word KoRBonot -  with the three-lettered root Ku-f Resh- Bet means “close in proximity”. These offerings were designed to allow the person to draw closer to God for the myriad of reasons that a person would want to be near God including thankfulness, forgiveness, joy/happiness, or doubt in the relationship.

          Even before God tells Moshe about all the commandments concerning KoRBonot, God does something very unique, something that God had never done before and could only do because of his relationship to Moshe Rabeinu. Vayikrah El Moshe, VaYidaber Adoshem Eilav M’Ohel Moed Leimor - He called out to Moshe and Hashem spoke to him from the Tent of the Meeting saying (Lev 1:1). God called, God spoke and God said; three very similar verbs yet slightly different when examined through the lens of “proximity” “intimacy” and “formality”. One calls out to a person when there is a physical distance that needs to be overcome, or when trying to get another person’s attention. Rashi, the great 11th-century French commentator, offers several explanations. First, this “calling” is Lashon Chiba - a language of endearment. God called out to Moshe in a loving manner and only to Moshe. No one else heard this particular call. Once called, Moshe knew to approach. After Moshe draws closer, God speaks to him. “Speaking” to someone assumes a relationship, a partnership, and a dialogue. The partnership might not be a 50/50 split and the dialogue might not be an equally two-sided dialogue, but “speaking” suggests that there is a response. However “telling” someone something suggests a clear delineation of authority. The party “telling” has the authority and the party being “told”  lacks authority. “Telling” suggests neither partnership nor dialogue but rather the dry transmission of data and information.  For the first time and the last time God Vayikra el Moshe - God called out to Moshe. God singled Moshe out for a vital task: to instruct the Kohanim and B’nai Yisroel how to appropriately connect to God. While it was certainly novel that God called, it was equally important that Moshe heard the call. Indeed, Moshe was spiritually sensitive and in tune with his relationship to God that he, and only he, heard the endearing call from God.

          Sometimes we are not able to hear so well. Maybe there is too much noise. Maybe we are so out of sorts that we can’t hear past our own fears, our own anxiety, or our own guilt. Sometimes we ignore God’s loud whisper that is meant only for us. So we will listen to God when we take a walk with our children. Sometimes, we sense God and holiness in the smile of a young boy and meet that smile, that warmth, and holiness with a simple act of kindness. Amid all of this we know that God is present, we need to only listen closely,  to the whisper, or experience a smile in order to connect.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Call For Me And I Will Be There (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - Lazy River Road")

           For the past few months, only our 16-year-old son has been living at home.  He will remain the only child in our home through Pesach and on into the middle of May. For his sake, one of his older sisters is scheduled to return.  Yes, there are moments when he enjoys being the only child. For example, he doesn’t have to battle his sisters for bathroom rights. On the other hand, he can’t get away with pawning off his chores onto anyone else. Certainly, he cannot get away with winning the “Ignoring Game”; a game that he quickly mastered while his sisters were home. The “Ignoring Game”  is a game that all children play with their parents and sometimes their grandparents.   I remember playing it with my parents when I was a teenager.  The game can be played at any time of day and under nearly any circumstance. The rules of the game are rather simple. The parent initiates play by calling out to the teenager with a simple request. Assuming that a sibling will actually respond, the teenager ignores the first request. The parent waits approximately 30 seconds before calling out to the teenager with the same request. Again, the teenager ignores the parent’s request, hoping the other sibling will respond. Now the parent waits 45-60 seconds before calling out for the same request. This time the request is louder, sterner, and more specific. “Hello, (child’s name), yeah I am talking to you” or “can you hear me (add child’s name)? I am talking to you.” Now the game changes slightly. The teenager needs to respond, and generally, the response involves a grunt, “Huh” or a question such as “what?” or a statement such as “Ok, ok, I heard you” or “Ok, I’ll do it in a minute”.  Keep in mind, that those statements are code for “I am ignoring you doing something else that I prefer to be doing rather than anything you request.” Now the game escalates. The parent needs to get the teenager’s attention and focus on the request. To accomplish this the parent still utilizes leverage however does so in a quiet disarming manner. At this point,  I try to close the physical distance by approaching them. If they are in their room, I will stand in their doorway. With as much calm as I can muster, I turn the request into a transaction. I rely on my inner Don Corleone and try to “make an offer they can’t refuse”. I try to speak quieter and in a colder more calculating tone. First I confirm that they will ultimately fulfill the request.  Then I make a business arrangement. I remind them that they will make requests of me and ask favours of me and it will become very difficult for me to fulfill their request and favours. We agree on a reasonable timeframe for my request to be fulfilled. With mutually agreed upon deterrents to prevent potential “forgetfulness”, I thank the teenager for fulfilling my request, and the “Ignoring Game” concludes.

           This Shabbat, we begin the third book of the Torah, Sefer Vayikra by reading from the Parsha with the same name VaYikrah. For all of Bereishit (Genesis) and the first half of Shmot (Exodus), we read narratives. In the Second half of Shmot, we read the blueprints of and then the actual construction of the Mishkan – the portable worship station that would accompany Bnai Yisroel on their journey towards Eretz Yisroel. Now the Torah takes a break from narrative and construction. We begin reading the various types of offerings that Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, will make on our behalf. These offerings were the various means by which  God permitted the individual or the community to approach. We approach Hashem for a variety of reasons, including special occasions and for personal reasons: repentance, thanksgiving, and special occasions for communal reasons: seasonal festivals, or daily service.

           We are familiar with the language that usually appears when Hashem speaks to Moshe. VaYomer Adoshem el Moshe Leimor – Hashem said to Moshe saying, or VaYiDaBeR Adoshem El Moshe Leimor – And Hashem spoke to Moshe saying. Now for the first and perhaps only time, Hashem neither ‘says’ nor “speaks” to Moshe. Instead, we read   Vayikrah el Moshe -God called to Moshe (Lev 1:1). ” Imagine, God, calling out to a person before speaking? The word “VaYiKRa” ends with a letter that is in a smaller font size than the rest of the letters that are found in the Torah. So clearly, this type of VaYiKRa is different than the typical kind of VaYiKRA with all the letters being the same size. Rashi, the 11th-century French vintner and commentator, explains that God speaks in a loud booming voice; a voice that can shatter trees and be heard throughout the world. However, this VaYiKRa, was only heard by Moshe. The calling was done so in a loving manner. The diminutive final letter – Aleph; suggests two possibilities.  First, Hashem whispered Moshe’s name in a manner that only Moshe could hear. Second, Moshe was humble enough, as symbolized by the diminutive letter, that his soul was receptive to God’s calling. The result of which Moshe quickly and eagerly responded with Hinneni –“Here I am”.

      I can’t imagine Moshe ignoring God’s call. I can’t imagine Moshe saying, “I’ll be there in a minute” and not showing up. On those rare occasions when our son doesn’t feel like playing the “Ignoring Game”, but instead, immediately responds to my call; he always seems surprised that I am nicer and easier going. He even displays surprise because my request seems neither overbearing nor unreasonable. He even thinks that I am in a good mood. Usually, his immediate response elicits a smile from me or I will tell him that I “appreciate” it. I remind him that no one likes being ignored. On more than one occasion, he has sheepishly smiled and told me that it is especially hard to ignore when he is the only child in the house.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Heard A Voice A-Calling, Lord You Was Coming After Me (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Bertha")

My children love to play games with me. No, I am not talking about “Monopoly”, or cards, or any of those kinds of games. My children like to play a game called: “Ignore”. Have you ever heard of it? I am convinced that every home that has teenage children plays some iteration of the “Ignore” game.  I remember playing it with my parents when I was a teenager.   The game can be played at any time of day and under nearly any circumstance. The rules of the game are rather simple. The parent initiates play by calling out to the teenager by making a request of him/her. The teenager ignores the first request. The parent generally should wait not less than 30 seconds but not more than 60 seconds before calling out to the teenager with the same request. Again, the teenager ignores and again after another 30-60 seconds, the parent calls out for the same request, only louder and more specifically. “Hello, I am talking to you” or “can you hear me? I am talking to you.” Now the game changes slightly. The teenager needs to respond, and generally, the response involves a grunt, “Huh” or a question such as “what?” or a statement such as “Ok, Ok, I heard you” or “Ok, I’ll do it in a minute”.  Keep in mind, that those statements are code for “I am ignoring you doing something else that I prefer to be doing rather than anything you request.” Now the game escalates, the parent needs to close the physical gap, stand in front of the teenager and issue the request, thereby making the teenagers ability to ignore much more difficult. The teenager can escalate by ignoring or declining to fulfill the request. Now, the parent faces three alternatives and needs to quickly assess the importance of the request. If the request is unimportant, then the parent can end the game by ceasing to make another request. If the request is important then the parent can utilize leverage in a loud threatening way. However, this usually leads to a delay in fulfilling the request by engaging in a fight, at which point the teenager wins the “Ignore” game. The third alternative requires great discipline but offers the greatest possibility of a parent’s victory. The parent needs to get the teenagers attention and to focus upon the request. To accomplish this the parent still utilizes leverage however does so in a quiet disarming manner. When I was a teenager, I knew that when my father took off his glasses and squint/glare like Clint Eastwood and spoke quietly, that it was time for me to listen, and fulfill whatever request was being made. I never mastered the Clint Eastwood glare like my father. Instead, I try to close the physical distance, and with as much calm in my voice, as I can muster, I turn the request into a transaction. While my father relied on his inner Clint Eastwood stare; I rely on my inner Don Corleone and try to “make an offer they can’t refuse”. I try to speak quieter in a colder more calculating manner and begin with a confirmation that they will ultimately fulfill the request.  Then I make a business arrangement and tell them that I know what their more imminent requests will be and that I won’t be able to fulfill them unless my request is imminently filled. We agree on a reasonable timeframe for the request to be fulfilled and with mutually agreed upon deterrents to prevent potential “forgetfulness”. Then I say “thank you” and the Ignoring game concludes.

This Shabbat we begin the third book of the Torah, Sefer Vayikra by reading from the Parsha with the same name VaYikrah. For all of Bereishit (Genesis) and the first half of Shmot (Exodus), we read narratives. The Second half of Shmot, we read the blueprints of and then the actual construction of the Mishkan – the portable worship station that would accompany Bnai Yisroel on their Trek towards Eretz Yisroel. Now the Torah takes a break from narrative and construction. Now we begin reading the various types of offerings that Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, will make on our behalf. These offerings are the various means by which the individual or the community is able to approach Hashem. We approach Hashem for a variety of reasons, including special occasions for personal reasons: repentance, thanksgiving, and special occasions for communal reasons: seasonal festivals, or daily service.

We are familiar with the language that usually appears when Hashem speaks to Moshe. VaYomer Adoshem el Moshe Leimor – Hashem said to Moshe saying; or VaYiDaBeR Adoshem El Moshe Leimor – And Hashem spoke to Moshe saying. Now for the first and perhaps only time, Hashem neither ‘says’ nor “speaks” to Moshe. Instead, we read   Vayikrah el Moshe -God called to Moshe (Lev 1:1). ” Imagine, God calling out to a person before speaking? The word “VaYiKRa” ends with a letter that is in smaller font size than the rest of the letters that are found in the Torah. So clearly, this type of VaYiKRa is different than the typical kind of VaYiKRA with all the letters being the same size. Rashi, the 11th-century French vintner, and commentator explain that God speaks in a loud booming voice; a voice that can shatter trees and be heard throughout the world. However, this VaYiKRa, was only heard by Moshe. The calling was done so in a loving manner. The diminutive final letter – Aleph; suggests two possibilities.  First, Hashem whispered Moshe’s name in a manner that only Moshe could hear. Second, Moshe was humble enough, as symbolized by the diminutive letter, that his soul was receptive to God’s calling. The result of which Moshe quickly and eagerly responded with Hinneni –“Here I am”.

I can’t imagine Moshe ignoring God’s calling out to him. On those rare occasions when my children don’t feel like playing their games, and they respond to my calling the first couple of times, they always seem surprised that I am nicer, easier going, and my request never seems so neither overbearing nor unreasonable. They even think that I am a good mood. Usually, their acknowledgment elicits a smile from me. I explain to them that no one likes to be ignored and that we get along so much better when we actually pay attention to one another, especially when we hear our names being called.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

There Are Times When You Can Beckon, There Are Times When You Must Call (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Built To Last"))

Well, our 17 year old daughter passed her driver’s test. Certainly, I am proud of her accomplishment, but I feel compelled to inform everyone that they should just be wary when they take to the roads. Besides driving lessons, I thought it was important for her to learn a few things that the driving instructor would not teach her. Living in Toronto, I thought it was important for her to learn how to handle a car going into a skid on ice and snow. So during the winter, I took her to a parking lot where she did “doughnuts” and handled a skid on snow and ice.  I thought it is important that she can change a tire, so when the weather warms up a bit, I will teach her how to change a flat tire. However the most important thing to teach her about general car maintenance is to putting gas in in the car. When I asked her if she knew how put gas in the car she casually replied, “Yes, I tell you to fill it up the car with gas like mommy tells you”. Needless to say, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Like a car, Judaism also has a gas tank, actually Judaism has two gas “tanks”. For Judaism to function, both tanks need to be filled.  For most Jews in the non-orthodox world, the “ethical tank” is the primary tank; but the “ritual” tanks is what needs filling. For most Jews in the Orthodox world, the “ritual tank” is the primary tank; but sometimes it’s the “ethical tank” that needs filling. For many of us, this is an either/or proposition, as if Judaism separated these two tanks. The "ethical" and the "ritual" is not like milk and meat needing separation. To the contrary, for Judaism to work, the "ethical" and the "ritual" need to be integrated. This concept of Judaism is by no means unheard of. In fact, a superficial reading of a Talmudic Midrash from the Tractate Shabbat 31a supports this multi-tank theory. A potential convert asks the great sage Shammai to teach him the entire Torah while standing upon one leg. Shammai abruptly dismisses him. The potential convert then seeks the great sage Hillel and makes the same request. Rather than dismissing him, Hillel responds, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. This is the entire Torah, all of it; the rest is commentary. Go and study it.” (Shabbat 31a). Certainly we could understand this Midrash as a preference of the ethical to the ritual. However, the brevity of Hillel’s statement implies that ethical and ritual are linked.

This week’s Parsha is VaYikrah, the first Parsha of the Book of Leviticus, -Sefer VaYikrah. Unlike the first book of the Torah, Bereishit (Genesis) and the first part of Shmot (Exodus) which was written in a narrative form, and the second Part of Shmot which listed laws as well as the instructions for building the Mishkan (the Tabernacle); the Book of Leviticus focuses upon the Priestly class and their responsibility within Jewish biblical society. VaYikrah does not focus upon a story, nor laws that are geared towards B’nai Yisroel. Rather the laws are aimed at the Leviim, their responsibilities, the precise manner in which sacrificial offerings are made, the requirements for offerings, the requirements for the Leviim as well as the requirements for B’nai Yisroel in order to bring offerings. From Parsha VaYikrah and for that matter the entire book, we derive numerous ethical teachings all of which is necessary for a people and a society to achieve a sense of holiness. We derive the importance that Judaism cannot be just about the “letter of the law” but there must be some ethical value behind the letters. After God “calls” out to Moshe, we read the list and the details concerning Korbonot-sacrifices. Which animals should be sacrificed, how many, for which reason, who is obligated, and how to do it. Again God reminds of the purpose of “sacrifice”. The word Korbon (sacrifice) connotes “approach”. This is based upon the three-lettered Hebrew root KaReiV, which means approach. We make sacrifices as a means of approaching God.

After reading this litany of detailed minutia, we might lose sight of the purpose of sacrifice. Korbon (sacrifice) is not only a means of approaching God; it is a means of approaching our fellow man.  The end of the Parshah reminds us of this. Nefesh Ki Techeteh U’Ma’Alah M’Al B’Adonai V’Chichesh Ba’Amito “God spoke to Moses saying: If a person will sin and commit treachery against God by lying to his comrade….” (Lev.5:21-25). We draw closer to God via our fellow man. Unethical behavior towards our fellow man affects our relationship to God. Unethical behavior renders us impure and adds a blemish to our character and to our spirit. We know that God only accepts blemish free offerings. If we are spiritually impure, because of unethical behavior, how can we hope to approach God? Like the great sage Hillel implied, the Parshah demonstrates that the Ethical and the Ritual are linked. Both aspects form a symbiotic relationship with each other. Together they form Torah. Separation of the Ethical and the Ritual leaves the individual and Torah incomplete. However, struggling and, hopefully, integrating both allows the individual to approach God as well as others through dignity and respect.

For those only concerned with ritual, at the expense of the ethical, they are only driving around on a half a tank of gas. For those only concerned with the ethical at the expense of ritual, they are also driving around on a half a tank of gas. A half a tank of gas is equivalent to observing only half the Torah and behaving only partly Jewish. The object is to be Shalem, complete or whole. God called out to Moshe, and instructed him to teach B’nai Yisroel that Ethical and Ritual behavior must be integrated in order to form a Holy community. Thousands of years later, Parshah Vayikrah teaches the same lesson. We continue in our struggle to integrate the Ethical and the Ritual. Both are required in order to live life with a full tank, for a warm and meaningful relationship to oneself, to our fellow man, and to God. As our daughter takes to the road, hopefully she is prepared enough and aware enough to make sure that when she drives my car, she won’t wait until the gas tank light calls out to her in order to begin looking for a gas station and then wonder how to fill it up. Hopefully she will be a complete safe driver for the sake of my insurance and all those with whom she shares the road.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

There Are Times When You Can Beckon, There Are Times When You Must Call. (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Built To Last")

Our son is studying for Bar Mitzvah. Let’s just say that this has not exactly been a stress free process. As parents, we know that we are not alone. Our son follows a very specific routine designed to aggravate and exhaust us. He has one Bar Mitzvah lesson a week for 45 minutes. The rest of the time he is supposed to practice every day for about 15 minutes. Normally, our son returns from school. As he walks, if one of us happens to be home, we will ask if he has homework. We will remind him that he also needs to spend 15-20 minutes studying for Bar Mitzvah.  “I know, I know,” he says. Then he heads to the kitchen to have a snack. Does he do any work while eating his snack? No, of course not, instead he will be on his phone playing some stupid game. After 10 or 15 minutes. We call out to him to put the phone down, finish up. “Ok, Ok,” he says, ignoring the parent’s first call and continues snacking. Soon after, One of us calls out to him again to start homework or to practice Bar Mitzvah. “In a few minutes, I have to go to the bathroom.” After another ten or fifteen minutes, one of us curiously ascends the stairs, apparently our son decided to read through the entire Sunday New York Times and the New York Times Magazine; he hasn’t left the bathroom. Again, a parent calls out to him. Finally he emerges and now he is aggravated with us because we keep hocking him to do his work and study for his Bar Mitzvah. “Ok, Ok, I’m going, I’m going”. For the next half hour he does his homework. Then we eat dinner. He heads back upstairs, and we call out to him to leave us his phone. He finally finishes the rest of his homework and decides to take a break. After a few minutes we call out to him to study for Bar Mitzvah. He tries to ignore us and for a few minutes he succeeds. Another call up to our son, this calling has a bit of sterner sounding edge to it. Now he claims he is tired. He sits with one of us and he begins his ten to fifteen minutes of Bar Mitzvah practice.

 This week’s Parsha is VaYikra, the first Parsha of the Book of Leviticus, -Sefer VaYikra. Unlike the first book of the Torah, Breishit (Genesis) and the first part of Shmot (Exodus) which was written in a narrative form, and the second Part of Shmot which listed laws as well as the instructions for building the Mishkan (the Tabernacle); the Book of Leviticus focuses upon the Priestly class and their responsibility within Jewish biblical society. Therefore, VaYikra does not focus upon a story, nor laws that are geared towards B’nai Yisroel. Rather the laws are aimed at the Leviim, their responsibilities, the precise manner in which sacrificial offering are made, the requirements for offerings, the requirements for the Leviim as well as the requirements for B’nai Yisroel in order to bring offerings. From Parsha VaYikra and for that matter the entire book, we derive numerous ethical teachings all of which is necessary for a people and a society to achieve a sense of holiness. Perhaps just as important is that we derive the importance that Judaism cannot be just about the “letter of the law” but there must be some ethical value behind the letters. After God “calls” out to Moshe, we read the list and the details concerning Korbonot-sacrifices from the three lettered root Kuf Resh Vet –KaReiV – Approach). Which animals should be sacrificed, how many, for which reason, who is obligated, and how to do it. All of which is designed for the purpose of providing a means for the Kohen and ultimately the people to KaReiV – approach or draw towards the Kadosh Baruch Hu.

 We are familiar with the language that usually appears when Hashem speaks to Moshe. VaYomer Adoshem el Moshe Leimor – Hashem said to Moshe saying; or VaYiDaBeR Adoshem El Moshe Leimor – And Hashem spoke to Moshe saying. Now for the first and perhaps only time, Hashem neither ‘says’ nor “speaks” to Moshe. Instead we read   Vayikrah el Moshe -God called to Moshe (Lev 1:1). ” Imagine, God calling out to a person before speaking. The word “VaYiKRa” ends with a letter that is in smaller font size than the rest of the letters that are found in the Torah. So clearly, this type of VaYiKRa is different than the typical kind of VaYiKRA with all the letters being the same size. Rashi, the 11^th century French vintner and commentator, explains that God speaks in a loud booming voice; a voice that can shatter trees and be heard throughout the world. However this VaYiKRa, was only heard by Moshe. The calling was done so in a loving manner. The diminutive final letter – Aleph; suggests three possibilities.  First, Hashem whispered Moshe’s name in a manner that only Moshe could hear. Second, Moshe was humble enough, as symbolized by the diminutive letter, that his soul was receptive to God’s calling. The result of which Moshe quickly and eagerly responded with Hinneni –“Here I am”.  Third, the word Aleph means learn or train. Moshe Rabeinu needed to learn all that God was about to instruct. Ultimately the desire to learn comes from within, usually in the form of a small voice.

 The other night, when I went upstairs to say goodnight to our son. I sat on the bed and I said that it would be nice if he heard me and mommy from inside of him rather than outside. He wondered what I meant. I explained that part of growing up means that one should know what one should do, or do the right thing. He shouldn’t have to be told over and over again. Being told what to do over and over again, suggests that the person is listening from the outside, listening with his ears.  In that way it wouldn’t sound like hocking; he would be less annoyed, and perhaps even enjoy the Bar Mitzvah training. However doing the right thing, doing the work, training for Bar Mitzvah without being told suggests that he is listening with his soul. It suggests he is responding to the smallest voice calling his name and he responds accordingly. My son hugged me good night. The next day he came home from school and no one had to call out reminding him to study for Bar Mitzvah.

Peace,

Rav Yitz