Search For Where The Rivers Ends Or Where The River Starts (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Foolish Heart")

          There is a tradition that the Yeshivot in Israel begin their programs at the beginning of Elul. The Sages and the Mystics considered Elul a time of spiritual preparation for the Yamim Noraim, and after a year of drifting away from God, Elul provides the perfect opportunity to spiritually begin the process of returning to God. Well, with Elul beginning this Shabbat, this will be our son’s last Shabbat with us. He departs for Yeshiva this Monday.  Ironically, it is also his Bar Mitzvah Parsha.  Five years ago, when he became a Bar Mitzvah he took the first steps towards adulthood when he became Mechayeiv - obligated to fulfill the mitzvot. Now he takes another huge step towards adulthood by moving away from home, living on his own, and learning for the sake of learning instead of learning for a grade or transcript. This is also the last Shabbat that my wife and I have Shabbat with children living in our house. From now on, when we are blessed to have our children home with us for Shabbat, they will only be visiting us. Indeed this Shabbat is very emotional as our family prepares to enter a new phase of development.

           This week's Parsha is Re'eh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. "See I present before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26). V'haklalah Im Lo Tishm'u el Mitzvot Adonai Eloheichem V'sartem Min Ha'Derech Asher Anochi M'taveh Etchem Ha'yom La'lechet Acharei Elohim Acheirim Asher Lo Y'Datem-"And the curse: if you do not hearken to the commandments of the Lord your God, and you stray from the path that I command you today, to follow gods of others, that you did know." (Deut. 11:28) Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to its covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds B'nai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns B'nai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds B'nai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoid non-kosher foods, not live in wayward cities, forgive loans after seven years, care for the less fortunate, and celebrate the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

          Moshe reminds B'nai Israel Ki Im El HaMakom Asher Yivchar Adoshem Eloheichem miKol Shivteichem LaSum et Shmo Sham L’Shichno Tidreshu Uvata SHama – Rather, only at the place that Hashem, your God, will choose from among all your tribes to place His Name shall you seek out his Presence, his dwelling, and come there. Certainly, this is reminiscent of God, at the time of the Akeida, telling Avraham that he will show him where to go with his son Yitzchak. Its reminiscent of Avraham as a much younger man, leaving his home and going to a place that God would show him., Certainly we could understand Moshe’s words as a  reminder for B’nai Yisroel that “sanctity”. Holiness, Kedusha is central to  Israel, Torah, and Jewish identity. The Sfas Emet (The Gerrer Rebbe from about 1870-1905) reminds us that God’s choice is not revealed until B’nai Yisroel “seeks”.  We only find answers when we seek, when we look, and when we investigate. Because we are commanded to seek Shechino, his divine aspects that dwell among us, we are tasked to seek holiness. Holiness is in Time and Space. Holiness is in our  Neshama, Holiness is in our choices, and in our words, our deeds, and the way we live our lives. That is the constant choice we are commanded to make HaYom Today –  a choice that we make each and every day and each and every moment. 

           While raising our children in North America, we consciously chose to raise them in vibrant Jewish communities and with day school education through high school. In doing so, we wanted them to learn how to experience God dwelling among us in each community we have lived. We also made sure that they would have the opportunity to experience God while they dwelled in Eretz Yisroel. Yes, it's different, powerfully meaningful, and provided our three older daughters with a firm foundation for the life choices that confronted them while in University and in life after University. It is my sincere hope that our youngest child, our son, will have a similar experience of making his upcoming ten months in Israel, ten months of HaYom- ten months of full and meaningful days;  full of experiencing God in his learning and daily life in Israel.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

The More My Brother Looks Like Me The Less I Understand (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "My Brother Esau")

           With her candidate’s campaign now complete, our daughter needed a rest. When we spoke about her post-campaign plans, I suggested that a two-week quarantine with unlimited wifi, meals served, no chores, access to exercise equipment, cable television, free laundry, and a coffee maker might permit her to relax, catch up on some sleep, as well as her friends. All the while she could professionally network.  By the time her quarantine would end, she could celebrate her birthday and celebrate U.S. Thanksgiving. For our son, his eldest sister’s presence would mean that he wouldn’t be the only child home while we celebrated American Thanksgiving. So, with an opportunity to quarantine, relax, and celebrate her birthday and Thanksgiving with at least one of her siblings,  our eldest daughter arrived home. Thankfully she feels fine.  During her quarantine, our other daughters, (University of Maryland and Israel) have called the two siblings who are here in Toronto. They have had several Whatsapp group video calls. We, the parents,  love watching the four of them speak together or video chat together. As I watch them and listen, I am amazed by their similarities and their differences. I am always amazed that these four nearly adult children who grew up in the same are four different personalities and different perspectives on the world. 

          This week, we read from Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any more different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak doesn’t depart from the land but rather remains there, growing wealthy. Instead, Yitzchak re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. Esav discovers that he lost out on the blessing and he threatens to kill Yaakov. The Parsha concludes with Rivka telling Jacob to go to her brother’s home. She explains to  Yitzchak that Yaakov needs to leave home in order to find a wife. Prior to his departure, Yitzchak wants to bless Yitzchak.  So, prior to his departure Yaakov receives his the blessing of the Brit, the Covenant that God made with Avraham and Yitzchak. This covenantal blessing was never intended for Esav.  Yaakov leaves home. Esav moves away as well and decides to dwell with his uncle Ishmael among the Canaanites.

Two boys grew up in the same home with the same parents and instilled with the same values, went to the same day school, participated in the same extracurricular activities, and shared the same Bar Mitzvah date. Although the parents disagreed as to who was going to be “successful”; by the end of the Parsha, it is quite clear that the blessing that Yitzchak gave Yaakov prior to Yaakov’s departure was always intended for Yaakov. So to some extent, both parents agreed as to who was the rightful inheritor of the Abrahamic Covenant. Right or wrong, the parents had definite opinions about their sons’, their abilities, and their future success.  Much of that opinion is based upon how each child responds to life’s stimuli. The Torah doesn’t really tell us much about their respective youth, Va’Yigdalu HaN’Arim, “And the boys grew up.” (Gen25: 27) R’ Levi said: At first they were like myrtle and a wild rose growing side by side. But when they grew up the former yielded to its natural fragrance, and the latter its thorns. So, for the first thirteen years, both Yaakov and Esav went to school and came home from school. But at the end of thirteen years, one went to houses of study and the other to shrines of idolatry.” (Genesis Rabbah 63:10). The Sifsei Chachamim clarifies that until their Bar Mitzvah, they were nearly identical. However, after their Bar Mitzvah, essential differences became evident. By the time they reached Bar Mitzvah, they now can begin to formulate their own opinions, develop their own attitudes, respond to their likes and dislikes. By the time the boys reach Bar Mitzvah, the parents can see a personality develop and take root. 

          As parents, we always think our perceptions of our children are the best indicators of an outcome.  However, it would appear that parents’ perceptions are not always based upon the context at the time but rather upon an ideal. From Yitzchak’s perspective Esav was a fine son, and worthy of a blessing because he meticulously fulfilled the value of Kibud Av – Respecting the father.  However, as meticulous as Esav was about that particular value, it did not make him fit for The Covenantal  Blessing. Children grow up in the same home but they respond to the stimuli differently, they have different interests, passions, and experiences outside the home which also influence, shape, and stimulate. As parents, perhaps all we can do is leave our arms, homes, and minds open to our children, praising them when they work hard at becoming the best possible version of themselves, and kvelling when they accomplish this.

Peace, 

Rav Yitz 

Walk Out Of Any Doorway; Feel Your Way Like The Day Before (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh "Box of Rain")

            I just spent two weeks in quarantine, after I drove my twenty-year-old daughter to the University of Maryland. While down in my basement, reading books, working out on my elliptical machine, and watching the news as well as assorted Netflix movies, my daughters knew that I was always home and available for them. In the late mornings, our eighteen-year-old daughter would Whatsapp video call me from Israel. She would tell me about her classes her voice filled with excitement her face full of enthusiasm. Later on, in the early part of the afternoon, I would receive a WhatsApp message or video call from our twenty-year-old. If it was a video call, invariably she would be walking across the campus, coming from a class, her physical therapy session, or a store. Always wearing a mask, her voice too was filled with excitement to be on a big-time college campus, excited to be living in an apartment and thankful for schlepping her down to the University of Maryland. Later in the evening, I would send a message to our eldest daughter. I know that she is incredibly busy trying to get her candidate elected to the United States Congress. Usually, she would respond on a video call as well, prefacing our call by informing me that she only has a few minutes to spare because she is so busy. The campaign will be done next week. Although she looks so tired that I worry about her, her voice is also filled with excitement and passion, her face resolute as she guides a campaign to its ultimate goal.  

          This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland, and everything he has ever known, and go towards a place that God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of traveling.

            The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close or proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World, however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is called a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.

            Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. Abram walked and traveled, and so did Lot. Yet Abram epitomized the individual who retained his integrity and ideals despite the difficulties of life, and despite the growing cynicism brought on by age. Abram managed to remember that God is the end and everything else is merely a means to that end. However, all the wealth and all the prosperity are not ends in and of itself. Our daughters have left home,  They are making their way. They may have left home but not the value with which they have been raised. They may have left home, but they brought with them the lessons they have learned and applied it to their lives, their studies, and their jobs. They may have left home but wherever they are and whatever they do, they do so with the passion and joy that can only exist when they choose their respective paths. I only hope our son demonstrates the same passion and joy in whatever path he chooses.

Peace,

Rav Yitz