Mama, Mama, Many Worlds I've Come Since I First Left Home (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Brokedown Palace")

           The United States observance and celebration of it Thanksgiving signal the beginning of the holiday season. If Christmas decorations have not yet appeared in storefronts, they do so now. Individual homes and town centers begin cleaning up and decorating acknowledging Christmas and Chanukkah. We all begin shopping for gifts for family and friends. Of course, all the Christmas specials are re-broadcast on television. Our family’s favorite Holiday season movie is Frank Capra’s 1946 film It’s A Wonderful Life.  I have watched the movie since I was a kid. With each passing year, with each phase of my life, I have seen Jimmy Stewart’s character, George Bailey, in a different light. As he went through different phases of growing up, getting married, and raising a family, I have done the same. As he struggled with his existential angst, so have I. This year, for the first time in 32 years, I have no children in my house. Instead, they are living their lives, on their own, following their path. As a result, I experienced the movie just a bit differently than before.   During one particular scene Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey sits at the dining room table with his mother, his father, and his younger brother, they discuss George’s future plans. He expresses his need to leave and go out on his own: “I just feel like if I don't get away, I'd bust.” I smiled to myself because, in my mind, it seemed like yesterday that I felt that way in terms of my parents. Now I am at a point in my life where my kids have all adopted a similar mantra. For the first time, I identified with George Bailey’s father, the parent offering guidance to the child who prepares to go off on his own. 

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is on Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. He will learn to be an independent individual. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father-in-law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus on Yaakov’s life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living, and all the trials, tribulations, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully, he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will learn to be alone, he will learn to become independent, and he will learn, through trial and error, to whom he should spiritually cling: Esav, his parents, Lavan, his wives, and God.

           At the conclusion of the previous Parsha, Parsha Toldot, we read that Yitzchak and Rivkah instructed Yaakov to go to Padan- Aram, to the house of Bethuel (Rivkah’s father’s home) and take a wife from there. We would expect Parsha VaYeitze to begin with Yaakov heading to Padan- Aram. Instead, VaYeitze begins: VaYeitze Yaakov M’Beer Sheva VaYeilech Charana – Yaakov departed from Beer Sheva and went toward Charan. Why doesn’t VaYeitze, say that Yaakov departed and went to Padan Aram? Why do we need to be told that he went to Charan? What’s in Charan? Yaakov has never been away from home. Although he is heading toward his mother’s family; even Rivkah knew enough to leave her family of origin. Now Yaakov, in order to preserve his life, must leave his family of origin. In Toldot, Yaakov was described as Ish Tam  Yoshev Ohalim – a simple man of faith who dwells in tents (Gen. 19;27) The Talmudic Sages explain that Yaakov’s dwelling in the tents meant that he spent time in his parent’s tents studying and learning. However, no learning would prepare him for what he would contend with when dealing with Rivka’s family and particularly her brother Lavan.  Rabbi Kamenetsky, (1891-1986), explained that prior to arriving in Paddan Aram, Yaakov stopped in Charan to learn from Shem and Eber. Shem was Noah’s son and Eber from the generation of the Tower of Bavel. Both were considered righteous and wise men who lived in unsavory environments and managed to retain their sense of righteousness. Yaakov sought their practical wisdom prior to his encounter with Lavan and dealing with becoming independent in an unsavory environment.  He will also need the wisdom of Shem and Eber to help him eventually return home. As a result of Yaakov’s diversion, Yaakov understands that he must maintain a relationship with God, and he understands that he will need to find his way home when the time is right.

          In It’s A Wonderful Life, George Bailey’s desire to leave home was symbolized by his request and his “wish to never been born”. Indeed, when George cries out “I want to live again” he is asking to return home. For Yaakov, he needed to leave his physical home, but clearly, he took with him the values and the learning that he acquired from his family. He took God with him as well as the sense of the land. He took with him a desire to return home. Yaakov and George Bailey derive an aspect of their independence from not only leaving home but leaving home with a code as well has to have the courage and humility to return home. Indeed, our children have all left home, however, our children also know that whenever the need arises, the doors of the home are always open, and their parents' arms are also open to hug them when they walk in the door

Peace
Rav Yitz.

All This Favour Ended When My Brother Failed At War - (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "My Brother Esau")

           Being American, Thanksgiving was always a big deal in my family. There were numerous family traditions and foods that were associated with the day. One of the traditions established by my mother occurred during the meal. We would go around the table and offer our reason for being thankful. Usually, the reasons focused on health and family. However this year I am more acutely aware of what or more importantly for whom I am not thankful. I am not thankful for Elon Musk and his decision to reinstate Donald Trump on Twitter. However, I am thankful for all those employees of Twitter who continue to quit and hopefully, the company will be utterly ruined and fall into the dust heap of history. If you go on Twitter, you will find a cesspool of hate ignorance, intolerance a  sewage system of conspiracy theories, and a public square inhabited by loud people who crave attention, speak in hyperbole, and pander in fear and hatred. 

          This week’s Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – is a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father, Avraham, who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak does not go down to Egypt. Yitzchak remains, grows wealthy, and re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses on Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. As a result, Esav is fit to be tied and threatens to kill Yaakov.

        When Esav turned 40, he got married. As different as the boys were before this, Esav’s marriages reflect his further spiritual diminishment from his mother and father. Esav’s association with these women brings out the worst in him. Va’Yehi Eisav Ben Arbaim Shanah VaYikach Isha et Y’hudit Bat B’Eiri HaChiti V’et Basmat Bat Eilon Ha’Chiti – When Esav was forty years old, he took as a wife Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. Va’Tiheyenah Morat Ruach L’Yitzchak U’l’Rivkah – and they were a source of spiritual bitterness for Yitzchak and Rivka (Gen.26:24). There is a Midrash that tells us that once a species of bird migrated to Eretz Yisrael. The Rabbis were unable to determine whether this new specie was kosher or treif. Rabbi Chiya, the leading scholar of his day, said, “Isolate one on the roof and see what kind of birds associate with it.” Immediately a raven (which is not kosher) joined the new bird. The Rabbis were able to finally determine that the new species of bird was not kosher. The same was true with regard to Esav when he married both women. They brought out the worst in him, whether it was Avodah Zarah – idolatry, or degrading himself to such a point that he did not warrant receiving the blessing. Of even greater concern to Rivkah and Yitzchak was the departure of the Divine Presence. Remember that when Yitzchak’s mother, Sarah, died, the light in her tent, the holy presence diminished. When Yitzchak married Rivka, the holy presence returned to Sarah’s tent. However, when Esav’s wives became part of Yitzchak’s household, this holy light was vanquished.

          Yes, there was a brief moment when Twitter was first created when its potential was evaluated through the prism of the best of human nature. When children are young, we tend to see their future as positive, full of potential, and as a source of joy and pride (nachas) to the parents. At that moment we are completely thankful. However, the children grow up and follow their paths, and perhaps a parent’s optimism, hopes, and dreams gradually diminish and are replaced with the realization that the child has become the worst possible version of him/herself. That is what happened to Esav. That also holds for any new endeavor or product or service. Twitter came into the world and was hailed as a place for the civilized exchange of ideas, and the instant transmission of information. Sadly it did not take long for Twitter to grow up and become the worst possible version of itself, a place that attracts misinformation, conspiracy, hatred, racism, antisemitism, and fear. Maybe all those who left Elon Musk can form a version of Twitter that fulfills the best possible version of itself and become like Yaakov as opposed to Esav.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And I Told Her My Story; I Told Her What Was Going On (Grateful Dead - "Caution: Do Not Stop On Tracks)

           Despite the rising tide of antisemitism, despite the cesspool of anti-semitic tropes that one finds on Twitter, despite all the anti-semitic conspiracy theories found in the extreme parts of the Alt-Right universe and the anti-Israel rhetoric of the extreme Left political universe, I found tremendous comfort in the middle. Two weeks ago, the State of Pennsylvania elected a “Left of Center” Jewish Governor. Josh Shapiro was recently elected Governor by receiving the greatest amount of votes for a Governor in state history.  He ran against a candidate who espoused White Christian Nationalism, supported the January 6th Capitol Riot, and believed that a woman has no right to an abortion under any circumstance. Josh Shapiro grew up attending Jewish Days School and attending shul with his father. He and his wife send their children to Day School and celebrate Shabbat and the Jewish Holidays. When Josh campaigned, he told a story that people were familiar with. He told a story. He told an aspirational story of a nation founded upon the principles of religious freedom. He told the aspirational story of a nation struggling to guarantee and protect the rights and freedoms of all its citizens. He reminded the voters that the future of their community and state is premised upon expanding rights, freedoms, and liberties. Josh’s story reminded everyone of the past and spoke of a future that was both inspirational and aspirational.

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah, “the Life of Sarah”. It is a rather odd name for a Parsha that discusses’ Sarah’s death, and Avraham’s funeral preparations including a eulogy, crying, and the purchase of land for burial. The focus then shifts from Sarah’s death and Avraham’s caring for her to Avraham’s son Yitzchak and getting on with his life. Avraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Yitzchak from among his ancestors. The servant head back to Avraham’s homeland, he asks God for a sign so that he knows which girl is the right one for his master’s son. He finds the girl and convinces her to return with him, the girl leaves home and heads back with the servant to meet her new husband and her father–in–law. They get married. Avraham takes a wife and lives quietly in retirement. The Parsha concludes with Avraham’s death and the death of his eldest son Ishmael.

          Structurally, the Parsha is rather peculiar. Between the narrative of Sarah’s death and funeral and the narrative of Avraham and Ishmael’s deaths exists a narrative affirming life.  A father arranges to find a wife for his son. A young woman, Rivkah,  leaves home and marries Avraham’s son Yitzchak, a man who had a near-death experience when his father tried to offer him as a sacrifice and who is dealing with the death of his mother.  This life-affirming narrative is told in three different ways. The first narrative occurs when Avraham tells his servant what to do: Return to the ancestral homeland, find a girl from the tribe, and bring her back so that Yitzchak can marry her. The second narrative is Avraham’s plan coming to fruition. The servant returns to Avraham’s homeland, he prays to God for a sign that he should pick the right girl, he meets the girl and then meets the family. The third narrative is the servant recounting the narrative beginning with Avraham’s presenting the servant with this sacred task. Why does the Torah present this narrative in three different ways and from three different perspectives: Avraham’s plan, Avraham’s servant (Eliezer) fulfilling the mission, and Eliezer explaining all these events to Rebecca’s family? Why all the details? The Torah could have told of Avraham’s plan and even included the events that allowed Eliezer to fulfill the plan. Certainly, we don’t need to read Eliezer’s recounting of events to Rebecca’s family. The Torah could have said: “And Eliezer told her family all that happened.” Maybe we read the narratives’ reiteration gets us to look at it in more than just a cursory manner. The more we look at it, and hear about it, the more we begin to realize just how miraculous the whole story is. Maybe the narrative’s reiteration reminds us that the focus should be on life-affirming events rather than death-affirming events.  Maybe the subliminal message and the reason for the narrative’s reiteration is the sanctity of the narrative. Yitzchak was dealing with lots of death, as was Avraham. Generally, death marks the end of a narrative. For Yitzchak and Rebecca, both of whom were about to begin a new stage of life together, they needed to have a new narrative, their narrative. For the narrative to be effective it had to include the past and an origin, it needs to embody a point to a possible future, it needs to embody fundamental values, and it needs to have a way of being transmitted.

          The ability to create a narrative and share it is an incredibly important part of life. A narrative connects the past, present, and future. A narrative provides attributes meaning by adeptly connecting seemingly disparate events. Whether it was a servant’s narrative that spoke of miracles and God’s presence, or a gubernatorial candidate’s narrative on the broad themes of liberty and freedom as expressed in casting a ballot; narratives connect people allowing them to create community, purpose, and meaning.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Don't Worry About Tomorrow, Lord, You'll Know It When It Comes - (Bob Weir - "One More Saturday Night")

           Well, it was election night in the United States. As I did some work, the news of the mid-term elections and the future of democracy in the United States provided background noise.  However, as the night wore on, I found myself listening for the results of the candidates that my daughter’s labor union supported.  Before the polls opened I had texted her, wishing her luck, and asking her about her chances of success. I wasn’t just interested politically, nor was I interested in the labor union. However,  I was genuinely nervous for my daughter who has worked so hard on behalf of her constituency. Like a typical parent, I was worried about my daughter. I wanted her to be successful in her goal of getting those candidates that her Union supported, elected to office. However as the hours passed, the polls closed, and the results tabulated late into the night, I realized how much anxiety I had spent worrying about our daughter’s being successful in her job, a job in which success is easily evaluated. Did the candidates win or lose? Sure, I understand worrying about one’s children when they are younger and living at home. The parent perceives a sense of control and perceives the possibility of "fixing" the problem. However, my daughter is a grown woman, in her thirties, an adult. As the night wore on, I realize how little or no control, and much less able to help than I did when she was younger and living at home.

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeira. The narrative and adventures of Avraham the Patriarch continue. While healing from his ritual circumcision, he fulfills the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, hospitality. He negotiates with God and reduces the number of righteous people that must be found in Sodom and Gemorrah in order to prevent its destruction. The narrative of Avraham is interrupted as we read the narrative of Lot, the two Angels (the same two that had visited Avraham at the beginning of the Parsha), the destruction of the city, and the impure relationship that results when the survivors think that world has been destroyed. The narrative returns to Avraham as its focus and he and his wife Sarah give birth to a son (Yitzchak), the banishment of Hagar and Ishmael (Avraham’s first-born son and from his concubine) and the final test of his belief, the Akeidat Yitzchak – the Offering of Isaac.

          Throughout the Parsha, there are several examples of “questionable” parenting moments as well as “child-ing” moments. These moments include Lot offering his daughters to the mob of Sodom and Gemorrah in order to save the guests that the mob wanted to harm. The daughters don’t say a word about it. These moments include Ishmael, being sent away along with his mother. As Ishmael lies dying of thirst, Hagar leaves him so that she doesn’t have to hear him whine and walks out of earshot. God hears Ishmael’s prayer and saves him due to his merit. However nowhere do we read that Ishmael tells his mom to stay with him so he shouldn’t be alone. Finally, we read of the Akedah Yitzchak, the offering of Isaac as a test of Avraham’s faith in God. In the text, we read that Yitzchak asks Avraham about the offering, Ayeh  HaSeh L’Olah – Where is the lamb for the offering? (Gen 22:7)  From this question the Midrash Tanchuma shows an Avraham that was unsteady, shaky, and nervous about making the offering. The Midrash portrays Avraham in a much more human and troubled manner. He worried about his son’s welfare, he worried about Yitzchak. Yitzchak offers him support and strength and tries to mitigate his father’s anxiety. Yitzchak tells him not to worry and that Yitzchak will do everything he can to help his father.

          When our children are younger and we worry about them, we still have more control to “fix” the problem. Whether we fix it or not, the only thing our children can do is thank us.  However, when our children are older and we have little or no control over “fixing” the problem, it is up to our children to ease our anxiety, to tell us that “it will be OK,” “not to worry” or “I can handle it”. Then we realize that all the hard work of raising them, all the worrying as they grew up wasn’t a waste because they really can handle life.  No, I don’t stop worrying about our kids as they grow older. Rather the test is that as they grow up and mature they are able to ease my anxiety and concern by the effort they exert in striving towards their goals.

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

From The High Road To The Low, So Many Roads I Know (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "So Many Roads")

           In the  Wall Street Journal article “Right Wing Populism  May Rise in the United States” (Sept. 27, 2022),  William Galston points out that Right Wing populism is ascendant. Right Wing populism led to Brexit. Right-wing populism led a fringe Swedish anti-immigrant party to acquire more than 20% of the Swedish vote. Right-wing populism led to the Brothers of Italy political party, with its roots in Fascist followers of Mussolini winning the Prime Minister's office. In France, Marie Le Pen managed a run-off in the eventual winner of that election. Earlier this week, in Brazil, the incumbent, the right-wing populist leader Bolsinaro,  was defeated, however, he has not yet conceded.  It seems that he is following the playbook of a twice-impeached ex-president. This upcoming week, Americans will go to the polls and choose between a political party that supports the “Big Lie” and uses political rhetoric to foment political violence from the domestic terrorist attack on January 6th to the attack upon Speak Nancy Pelosi’s husband in San Francisco. Earlier this week, a  former Republican Florida Congressman who has his own news show referred to this Right Wing populist fringe aspect of the Republican Party as Fascists. The world has taken a very odd and troubling path to arrive at this troubled and frightening moment.  It was 100 hundred years ago, that Mussolini’s Fascist party came into power in Italy. Soon after, in Germany, a fringe minority of fascists were invited to join the German government, and eventually, that minority fringe group of fascists took over the government and took over the country. After all these years, the world has started down an all too familiar path.

            This week's Parsha is Lecha Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland, and everything he has ever known and go to a place that God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down toward Egypt because of a famine. Leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. He and his nephew decide to part ways since each of their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of traveling.

            The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse: "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World, however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is called a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.

          Just like people must learn to follow a respective path requiring faith and the best possible version of one’s self; the same holds true for nations. Each nation struggles between the best possible version of itself and the worst possible version of itself. The best possible version of a nation improving the lives of its people lives peacefully among the nations and making a positive difference in the world. The worst possible version of a nation doesn’t care to improve the lives of its citizens, threatens its neighbors, and has corrupt leadership focused upon power for the sake of power itself. Every nation embarks on a journey. Sometimes that path is difficult, and painful, and takes a nation to the brink. That path is not only determined by leadership, that path is determined by the citizenry, by those who vote, by those who count the vote, and perhaps most important, those who concede defeat in a free and fair election. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz