With Its Words Of A Life That Could Almost Be True (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Black Throated Wind")

Our nineteen-year-old daughter was confronted with a conflict while working as a camp counselor. Camp is scheduled to end two days before she needs to be at her university dormitory in New York City. She needed a week at home in Toronto before heading down to University. So she arranged with the camp to that she would leave four or five days prior to the official conclusion of camp. She and the camp agreed and signed a contract.  When I went to visit her, my wife and our two other children last week, she and I spoke about her early departure. She explained that she felt conflicted because originally she wanted to leave a week before the official conclusion of camp and the camp ‘s original position was that leaving early was unnecessary. Both sides compromised on four days.  As we spoke and she shared with me her frustration, I suggested that she speak to her boss, request an earlier departure date and simultaneously offer to forego being paid the last week. I thought my suggestion was completely reasonable. She gave me a look of shock and incredulity. Then she stated, “I have a contract, I gave my word”.

This Shabbat, we read from the final two Parshiot in Sefer Bemidbar (Book of Numbers): Matot and Masei.  This double Parsha begins with the laws of Nedarim (Vows), and then Bnai Yisroel fights against the Midianites. Moshe rebukes his officers for their collective failure to deal with the Midianite woman since they were the cause of Bnai Yisroel’s plague in the first place. Bnai Yisroel then begins the process of dividing the spoils of this battle. Two tribes, Reuben and Gad request to settle in the land east of the Jordan River and not the land promised by Hashem. Moshe expresses his anger over the request and the two tribes amend their request. Moshe adds a condition and an agreement is reached. The Torah recounts the various stops that Bnai Yisroel made on their journey to Eretz Canaan, the boundaries of Eretz Canaan are clarified, the new leadership is introduced and the cities of refuge of explained and established. Finally, Sefer Bemidbar concludes with a reminder of the laws for tribal inheritance. With all those loose ends neatly sewn up; Bnai Yisroel now sits on the eastern bank of the Jordan River waiting to enter Eretz Canaan. As we conclude the reading, we say Chazak Chazak v’ NitChazeik – From strength to strength we shall go forward in strength.

The beginning of the Parsha, with its focus upon Nedarim v’Shvuot Vows and Oaths, we are being reminded of two vital concepts. First, we are reminded of the Aseret Dibrot, of the Ten Commandments and specifically invoking God’s name in vain.  Ish Ki Yidor Neder L’adoshem When a man takes a vow to Hashem (Num. 30:3). Part of the process by which one makes a vow is to invoke God name. Therefore, a failure to keep the vow or the oath means that one has used God’s name in vain. The repercussions of which are extremely serious.  Second, we learned in Sefer Breishit (Book of Genesis) that speech is holy. Speech is part of the God’s creative process; Vayomer Elokim, Yehi Or, VaYahi Or- And God said: Let there be Light, and there was light. In a sense, speech is perhaps one of the only actions available to us that allow us to emulate God. When we make a vow or an oath, we are acting similar to God. A Neder is a pledge to prohibit oneself from something that that the Torah permits. Or a Neder can be obligating oneself to something that the Torah considers to be optional. Obligating one’s self to contribute to a specific charity would be an example of "obligating that which is optional". Refraining from apples would be an example of prohibiting something that is originally acceptable. In either case, the individual is truly acting like God. The individual is creating Halacha and making his vow and or oath becomes tantamount to Torah. Clearly, this cannot be taken lightly. After all, the severity of the language is a function of the fact that one makes this vow, pledge or oath to God and not to oneself or to another.  Fundamental to our vows with God is a trust in the relationship, trust that it exists, trust that it is desired by both and trust that is must be treated as sacred.

Indeed, my daughter made gave her word regarding her early departure from camp. Yes, she complained. Yes, she shared her anxiety as she wondered how everything would get done before her leaving for university. Yes, she was certainly shocked when I suggested that she calmly and reasonably offer to give up a week of pay in order to leave earlier than the time that had been agreed upon. All that time, as I listened to her, and made suggestions, I thought I was listening to my little girl. After she incredulously told me that she gave me her word and signed a contract’ my little girl reminded me that her mother and I spent the last nineteen years raising her to be a woman that kept her word.  I guess she is our little girl isn’t so little anymore. Indeed, she is a woman of her word.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz  

Lately It Occurs To Me What A Long Strange Trip It's Been (Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh, Bob Weir, & Jerry Garcia - "Truckin"

          We just celebrated our son’s Hanachat Tefillin at his camp. We are four weeks away from his Bar Mitzvah. Hopefully our son has managed to find time each day to study his Torah Portion and his Haftarah; but I doubt it. The one person who has been working almost as hard as him has been his mother. She has done all the planning. She figured out how to make sure that we have a spot at the Kotel (The Wall) so that our son can read from the Torah; she called the restaurant and figured out a menu, she made arrangements with the synagogue in Efrat, and that was before she left for camp at the end of June.  When we have spoken during here five weeks at camp; she has also made arrangements for hikes, for site seeing and for various tours. What I have done in preparation for our son’s Bar Mitzvah? I guess I have thought a lot about what our son’s Bar Mitzvah means to me, to my family. I can’t help but think about my Bar Mitzvah decades and decades ago. I can’t help but think of my journey.  I can’t help but think of the people that were so influential in my life, for guiding me, for teaching me, for molding me into the person I am. Indeed, I have become acutely aware of the journey that I have taken and my family has taken. I am also acutely aware that our son will soon begin his own type of journey.

This morning we read from Parsha Matot/Masei. These are the final two parshiot of Sefer BaMidbar (Book of Numbers).  Like the end of most books, these parshiot tie up numerous loose ends. It ties up the loose ends of the narrative such as how to deal with the Midianites following episode with Pinchas, the daughters of Tzelophchad and issues of inheritance, as well as the borders of Eretz Canaan, and the Cities of Refuge. All these final issues must be dealt with since, from a narrative perspective, Bnai Israel is spiritually and physically ready to cross the Yarden River and enter into Eretz Canaan. Bnai Yisroel is about to realize the Brit, the covenant that God made with the Avot: Avraham, Yiztchak and Yaakov.

Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people stand on the precipice of a realized goal; looking back upon the journey only makes sense. We look back upon the journey for a variety of reasons. First we look back upon the journey in sheer wonderment; we cannot believe we have traveled so far and finally achieved. Second, we look back upon the journey in order to provide context and meaning for all those who joined in the journey towards the middle or the end. Third, we look back upon the journey as a series of opportunities that were necessary in order to realize the stated goal. Fourth, and perhaps in the case of the current war with Hezbollah and Hamas, we look back at our journey and decide that perhaps it is time to finally end the journey.  Eilah Masei V’nai Yisroel Asher Yatzu M’Eretz Mitztrayim L'tzivotam  B’Yad Moshe v’Aharon – These are the journeys of the Children of Israel, who went forth from the Land of Egypt according to the legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon … V’Eilah Maseihem L’Motzaheihem – And these are the their journeys according to their departures. (Num. 33:1-2) God commanded Moshe to keep a record of their travels according to their Maseihem - destination. A destination suggests anticipation and positive expectations. Remembering destinations suggests minimal hardship, minimal travails, no issues nor problems. Moshe also kept a record of their travels based upon Motzaheihem their departures. When we are forced to depart; we tend to feel badly, we tend to focus upon hardships and difficulties, including murmuring, complaining and challenging Moses’ authority. Now that B'nai Yisroel stands on the brink of entering Eretz Canaan, all the experiences, both positive and negative gave B'nai Yisroel an opportunity to learn Faith.  The journey and all that was experienced during that 40-year journey was necessary in order to arrive at this point in time.

Yes my wife and I are both dealing with our youngest child; our only son’s becoming a Bar Mitzvah.  My wife is focused upon a destination. Since I am the only other person in our family that had a Bar Mitzvah, I can’t help but think of my father and my grandfather. I can’t help but think of the enormous influence that they each played in my life. I only hope that I am as positive an influence on my son as my father and grandfather was upon me.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Lately It Occurs To Me What A Long Strange Trip It's Been (Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh, Bob Weir, Jerry Garcia - "Truckin'"

Our sixteen year old daughter is in Israel this summer. I have tried very hard not to be one of those parents who speaks to his/her child all the time. I consciously decided that I would deliberately leave her alone. I wasn’t going to “What’s App” her, or call her. In fact, before she left, I told her that I wasn’t going to call her or reach out to her at all. If she wanted to call me she could otherwise I wanted her to be on her own figuring things out for herself. To her credit, she has only called me on Fridays. Given the time difference, she calls me right before Shabbat (Israel time). This means she is calling me around the middle of the day on Friday. Lately it so happens that I happen to be playing golf when she calls. Our conversations have fallen into a bit of a pattern. She calls, she wishes me a “Good Shabbos”. I ask her how her week was, and how she is feeling. Then I ask, what must be very difficult questions because she has a hard time answering. The question seems simple enough to me. “Where were you this past week? What did you see?” She breathes deeply and the lack of sleep that she accumulated all week is readily apparent. She quietly begins with an “I don’t remember”. She follows that up with the name of a place followed by one sentence of what she saw. Honestly it is like pulling teeth. Both her mom and I remind her that perhaps it would be a good idea to write it down where she was and what she saw so that way she will have an easy way to remember this very special journey.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Matot/Masei. These are the final two parshiot of Sefer BaMidbar (Book of Numbers).  Like the end of most books, these parshiot tie up numerous loose ends. It ties up the loose ends of the narrative such as how to deal with the Midianites following episode with Pinchas, the daughters of Tzelophchad and issues of inheritance, as well as the borders of Eretz Canaan, and the Cities of Refuge. All these final issues must be dealt with since, from a narrative perspective, B’nai Yisroel is spiritually and physically ready to cross the Yarden River and enter into Eretz Canaan. B’nai Yisroel is about to realize the Brit, the covenant that God made with the Avot: Avraham, Yiztchak and Yaakov.

Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people stand on the precipice of a realized goal; looking back upon the journey only makes sense.  Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people experience anxiety about the ability to handle future unknowns; looking back at past lessons also seems to make a lot of sense. We look back upon the journey for a variety of reasons. First we look back upon the journey in sheer wonderment; we cannot believe we have traveled so far and finally achieved. Second, we look back upon the journey in order to provide context and meaning for all those who joined in the journey towards the middle or the end. Third, we look back upon the journey as a series of opportunities that were necessary in order to realize the stated goal. Fourth, we look back knowing that if we overcame past obstacles and fears, then we should be able to overcome future anxieties, obstacles and fears.  Eilah Masei V’nai Yisroel Asher Yatzu M’Eretz Mitztrayim L'tzivotam  B’Yad Moshe v’Aharon – These are the journeys of the Children of Israel, who went forth from the Land of Egypt according to the legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon … V’Eilah Maseihem L’Motzaheihem – And these are the their journeys according to their departures. (Num. 33:1-2) God commanded Moshe to keep a record of their travels according to their Maseihem - destination. This is means of recording based upon positive expectations, when there were no travails, issues or problems. Moshe also kept a record of their travels based upon Motzaheihem their departures, when there were travails, issues and great difficulties, when people murmured against God, against Moshe etc. Now that B’nai Yisroel stands on the brink of entering Eretz Canaan, all the experiences, both positive and negative gave B'nai Yisroel an opportunity to learn Faith.  The journey and all that was experienced during that 40-year journey was necessary in order to arrive at this point in time.

No, our daughter’s six week journey is not as dramatic as the 40 year journey of an entire people. Her six week journey is not comparable to a people evolving from slavery to freedom nor from people hood to nationhood. However over the course of six weeks, our hope is that during the course of her travels, during the course of her journeys and departures, she will have learned about herself. We hope that when she returns, she has grown more comfortable being herself. We hope that she is more immune to peer pressure and more intellectually curious. Although only sixteen, we hope that her journeys and departures have afforded her a greater perspective of what is important, what is not important, what deserves worry and what should be ignored. In that regard, the journeys and the departures of B’nai Yisroel serve as a symbol of the numerous journeys and departures of each individual’s life.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Promises Made In The Dark Dissolve By Light Of Day (Robert Hunter & Bob Weir -"Easy Answers")

Earlier this week, I woke up turned on my favorite morning news show, sipped my coffee and for the first time in my life I felt torn between my being American and being Jewish. No, my rights, as an American citizen, were not somehow being restricted because I am Jewish. I am still free to practice my religion. However, for the first time, I felt my allegiance being pulled between the American part of me and the Zionist part of me.  The Iran Nuclear Agreement scares me. I have always believed under the current Iranian regime, that a nuclear Iran poses an existential threat to Israel, (and a strategic threat to the North America). So while the West, and particularly the United States negotiated a deal base on strategic issues, Israel always had a very legitimate concern that Iran poses an existential threat.  Yet, this agreement, these words, these series of vows, oaths, promises and covenants mean that we, the West, and (therefore Israel) will now know with greater certainty than before, what the Iranians are doing with their nuclear program. Admittedly, that doesn’t make me feel much better, no does it assuage my concerns for Israel. Why? Like many in Congress, and certainly like many Jews and for that matter may Sunnis including Saudi Arabia, I don’t trust the Iranian Regime. Since there is no trust that the current Regime will keep its word, then the vows, the oaths, the promises don’t mean very much. The sanctity of words, the sanctity of a vow and oath is based entirely upon trust. This agreement, like many agreements of this kind, the 1985 agreement between the U.S. under Reagan’s administration and the former Soviet Union on Gorbachev was based upon Reagan’s idea of “Trust but Verify”. However “Trust but Verify” seems to undermine the importance and the sanctity of the spoken/ written word, vow, oath, and covenant.

This Shabbat, we read from the final two Parshiot in Sefer Bemidbar (Book of Numbers): Matot and Masei.  This double parsha begins with the laws of Nedarim (Vows), and then Bnai Yisroel fights against the Midianites. Moshe rebukes his officers for their collective failure to deal with the Midianite woman since they were the cause of Bnai Yisroel’s plague in the first place. Bnai Yisroel then begins the process of dividing the spoils of this battle. Two tribes, Reuben and Gad request to settle in land east of the Jordan River and not the land promised by Hashem. Moshe expresses his anger over the request and the two tribes amend their request. Moshe adds a condition and an agreement is reached. The Torah recounts the various stops that Bnai Yisroel made on their journey to Eretz Canaan, the boundaries of Eretz Canaan are clarified, the new leadership is introduced and the cities of refuge of explained and established. Finally, Sefer Bemidbar concludes with a reminder of the laws for tribal inheritance. With all those loose ends neatly sewn up; Bnai Yisroel now sits on the eastern bank of the Jordan River waiting to enter Eretz Canaan. As we conclude the reading, we say Chazak Chazak v’ NitChazeik – From strength to strength we shall go forward in strength.

The beginning of the Parsha, with its focus upon Nedarim v’Shvuot Vows and Oaths, we are being reminded of two vital concepts. First we are reminded of the Aseret Dibrot, of the Ten Commandments and specifically invoking God’s name in vain.  Ish Ki Yidor Neder L’adoshem When a man takes a vow to Hashem (Num. 30:3). Part of the process by which one makes a vow is to invoke God name. Therefore, a failure to keep the vow or the oath means that one has used God’s name in vain. The repercussions of which are extremely serious.  Second, we learned in Sefer Breishit (Book of Genesis) that speech is holy. Speech is part of the God’s creative process; Vayomer Elokim, Yehi Or, VaYahi Or- And God said: Let there be Light; and there was light. In a sense, speech is perhaps one of the only actions available to us that allows us to emulate God. When we make a vow or an oath, we are acting similar to God. A Neder is a pledge to prohibit oneself from something that that the Torah permits. Or a Neder can be obligating oneself to something that the Torah considers to be optional. Obligating one’s self to contribute to a specific charity would be an example of "obligating that which is optional". Refraining from apples would be an example of prohibiting something that is originally acceptable. In either case the individual is truly acting like God. The individual is creating Halacha and making his vow and or oath becomes tantamount to Torah. Clearly this cannot be taken lightly. After all, the severity of the language is a function of the fact that one makes this vow, pledge or oath to God and not to ones self or to another.  Fundamental to our vows with God is a trust in the relationship, trust that it exists, trust that it is desired by both and trust that is must be treated as sacred.

Like B’nai Yisroel recounting where they have been to arrive at this point in history, I look back and recount where the relationship between Israel and the United States has been and I wonder how we arrived at this point, a point where Trust and Verify has taken on a completely different meaning. In the world of “Trust but Verify” lies the fact that the side that does the verifying trusts that the side being verified will do everything it can to not keep its oaths, its vows and its promises. If there was truly mutual trust, then obviously there is no need to verify since the word, the vow, the oath is sacred since it is the embodiment of a Godly action: speech.  So now I have to trust that my government will keep its longstanding vow to Israel, to stand with Israel, to protect Israel, to “have Israel’s back” as the President said. I wish there was a way that we could trust but verify those words, those vows and those oaths. Maybe then Israel and the United States can Chazak v’Chazak Nitchazeik – from strength to strength go forward in strength.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz